FabSwingers.com forum: What’s the Weirdest Thing You’ve Fucked Yourself With?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As the title says!!

What’s the weirdest object, food or whatever you’ve used as a sex toy?

Was it out of curiosity or out of ridiculous levels of horn?

Go on! Spill!!

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Courgette I think nicely cock shaped or the parsnip x

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

I never have, I’m a good girl

I will say this though, the only difference between a marrow and courgette is the amount of lube needed.

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Wondering how many will confess to the obligatory Sky remote?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My tax returns about five years ago. Still fucking me now

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Wondering how many will confess to the obligatory Sky remote?

Ohh yes tried that 2 x

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By *he Devils Daughter!Woman
over a year ago

some where in yorkshire

My Ex!!

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside

"My Ex!!

Oh how i giggled

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"I never have, I’m a good girl

I will say this though, the only difference between a marrow and courgette is the amount of lube needed. "

Would never manage a marrow!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first husband!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cucumber once, the ex thought it would be fun! He wasn't wrong mind you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My first husband!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first started masturbating I used to use a rubbery crocodile toy in the bath - it had an open mouth. Used the handle of a hairbrush also.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Courgette I think nicely cock shaped or the parsnip x"

Parsnip is an interesting one. Isn’t it a bit pointy though?

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

A Belgian

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Screwdriver

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

A lipgloss tube.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I never have, I’m a good girl

I will say this though, the only difference between a marrow and courgette is the amount of lube needed. "

Uh huh

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Screwdriver "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My tax returns about five years ago. Still fucking me now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once put a plastic chewbacca figurine up my bum hole.

I had to use the force to get it back out again!

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Courgette I think nicely cock shaped or the parsnip x

Parsnip is an interesting one. Isn’t it a bit pointy though?

Not really x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wondering how many will confess to the obligatory Sky remote?

Ohh yes tried that 2 x"

Any good? Y’know out of pure academic curiosity of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lime

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My Ex!!

Oh how i giggled"

Someone had to say it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My first husband!

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"I once put a plastic chewbacca figurine up my bum hole.

I had to use the force to get it back out again!"

Someone sent me a vid of a woman pushing plastic ducks out of her ass there were 4 up there! I would worry they didnt come out again!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cucumber once, the ex thought it would be fun! He wasn't wrong mind you."

My favourite phallic shaped vegetable

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When I first started masturbating I used to use a rubbery crocodile toy in the bath - it had an open mouth. Used the handle of a hairbrush also.

The handle of a hairbrush I did when I was a teenager. It had a ribbed grip and did very pleasant things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once put a plastic chewbacca figurine up my bum hole.

I had to use the force to get it back out again!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A Belgian

Did he bring you chocolate first? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I first started masturbating I used to use a rubbery crocodile toy in the bath - it had an open mouth. Used the handle of a hairbrush also.

The handle of a hairbrush I did when I was a teenager. It had a ribbed grip and did very pleasant things

Mine was a smooth handled hairbrush and angled just so to hit the right spot

I have used a ribbed and nobbly vibrator which was very pleasurable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Ex!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A friend’s husband (honest!) ended up in A&E because he had the lid of a deodorant bottle stuck up his ass and had to get it removed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read the list no pineapples yet then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My husband!

This genuinely made me LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wand hair curler... I was on holiday and it was the only thing to hand.... I damaged it and new curler was ordered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My husband!

This genuinely made me LOL

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

A 6ft curtain pole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A banana, in a d*unken state

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I once put a plastic chewbacca figurine up my bum hole.

I had to use the force to get it back out again!"

You’re a delightful weirdo. Have I told you that lately?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My own knickers. Then fed them to D whilst they were damp and dirty.

Jo.Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A 6ft curtain pole

"
ouch

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A friend’s husband (honest!) ended up in A&E because he had the lid of a deodorant bottle stuck up his ass and had to get it removed

My friend is a nurse and she told me this sort of nonsense happens all the time!! X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Read the list no pineapples yet then

Ouch!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My expectations of other people.

Fucked myself good and proper with that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wand hair curler... I was on holiday and it was the only thing to hand.... I damaged it and new curler was ordered

Haha, did it at least hit the right spot?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A 6ft curtain pole

I am impressed!!!

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

"A 6ft curtain pole

I am impressed!!!

I didn't get the whole thing in there so it's not that impressive

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By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

A candle....hurt like fuck thou

I guess I Probably shouldn't have lit it..

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

When I was a teenager I tried a couple of suitably shaped objects. I really enjoyed it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My own knickers. Then fed them to D whilst they were damp and dirty.

Jo.Xx "

You bad girl

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A 6ft curtain pole

I am impressed!!!

I didn't get the whole thing in there so it's not that impressive

Still!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A candle....hurt like fuck thou

I guess I Probably shouldn't have lit it..

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

A blow up doll

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

"I once put a plastic chewbacca figurine up my bum hole.

I had to use the force to get it back out again!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may have rubbed a watermelon up

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

[Removed by poster at 03/10/20 18:59:34]

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"My own knickers. Then fed them to D whilst they were damp and dirty.

Jo.Xx

You bad girl

A very good bad girl

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By *atcherwankerMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small."

I, for one, am keen to hear more!

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By *urplePumpkinCouple
over a year ago

Evesham

Mars Bar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once put a plastic chewbacca figurine up my bum hole.

I had to use the force to get it back out again!"

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Vegetables and deodorant cans. They did the job

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By *intage74Couple
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Jaws toy in bath as a pubescent youth set up up my love of being given a bj

Mrs V obligatory beer bottle

Enjoy

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By *rink Me xxWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

My ex. He's pretty fucking weird!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I once put a plastic chewbacca figurine up my bum hole.

I had to use the force to get it back out again!

Someone sent me a vid of a woman pushing plastic ducks out of her ass there were 4 up there! I would worry they didnt come out again!!

Bet she was Quakers ! !

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"I once put a plastic chewbacca figurine up my bum hole.

I had to use the force to get it back out again!

Someone sent me a vid of a woman pushing plastic ducks out of her ass there were 4 up there! I would worry they didnt come out again!!

Mother duck said quack quack quack.. only three little ducks came back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My own knickers. Then fed them to D whilst they were damp and dirty.

Jo.Xx

You bad girl

A very good bad girl

I do try!

Jo.Xx

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"My ex. He's pretty fucking weird!

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Shampoo bottle. Was staying at my ex's parents and was super horny!

Mrs TMN x

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By *ondon Girl1000Woman
over a year ago

Croydon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small."

Well, shit...

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By *andyMinx_tvTV/TS
over a year ago

Leeds

A truncheon. Because it was there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure about myself... but i dp'd my xfwb with a cucumber

... the horn took over the dinner came out the fridge!

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By *he Devils Daughter!Woman
over a year ago

some where in yorkshire

My ex fb did tie me up n blindfold me n tease fb me with a huge corguette ffs

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small.

Well, shit...

Well, shit what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex Mrs’ toothbrush the day I ‘found out’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A toilet plunger, the handle end before people get the wrong image

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small."

Stretching does feel good

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By *icola2202Couple
over a year ago

Chatham

"My Ex!!

"
haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small.

Well, shit...

Well, shit what?"

The not liking small objects... type... thing.

Not my best attempt at self deprecation, I'll be honest

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small.

Stretching does feel good

I had a really great experience with it and I liked it

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small.

Well, shit...

Well, shit what?

The not liking small objects... type... thing.

Not my best attempt at self deprecation, I'll be honest

Oooh got you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This post is having people going to the hardware store and the supermarket.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I may have rubbed a watermelon up

D."

Trust you

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small.

Well, shit...

Well, shit what?

The not liking small objects... type... thing.

Not my best attempt at self deprecation, I'll be honest

When I said too small... I didn't mean the objects were that huge

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mars Bar"

Now that one is unique!!!

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Mars Bar

Now that one is unique!!!

A Mars a day helps you work rest and 'play'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Shampoo bottle. Was staying at my ex's parents and was super horny!

Mrs TMN x"

When needs must!!

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By *nigmatic_AngelWoman
over a year ago

The place where fairies live

"A friend’s husband (honest!) ended up in A&E because he had the lid of a deodorant bottle stuck up his ass and had to get it removed

My friend is a nurse and she told me this sort of nonsense happens all the time!! X"

Yep when i was working in a & e there was a gentleman who lost a potato up his arse..

Also a man who "fell" over into his hoover pipe!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small.

Well, shit...

Well, shit what?

The not liking small objects... type... thing.

Not my best attempt at self deprecation, I'll be honest

When I said too small... I didn't mean the objects were that huge

Sincerest apologies for the misunderstanding. I think I'm used to Fab sizes where not huge means small

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Courgette, champagne bottle, hair brush handle

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small.

Well, shit...

Well, shit what?

The not liking small objects... type... thing.

Not my best attempt at self deprecation, I'll be honest

When I said too small... I didn't mean the objects were that huge

Sincerest apologies for the misunderstanding. I think I'm used to Fab sizes where not huge means small

No worries at all. I'm Anabelle pleased to meet you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small.

Well, shit...

Well, shit what?

The not liking small objects... type... thing.

Not my best attempt at self deprecation, I'll be honest

When I said too small... I didn't mean the objects were that huge

Sincerest apologies for the misunderstanding. I think I'm used to Fab sizes where not huge means small

No worries at all. I'm Anabelle pleased to meet you

Hi Anabelle, I'm ssb. Nice to virtually meet you too

Come here often?

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small.

Well, shit...

Well, shit what?

The not liking small objects... type... thing.

Not my best attempt at self deprecation, I'll be honest

When I said too small... I didn't mean the objects were that huge

Sincerest apologies for the misunderstanding. I think I'm used to Fab sizes where not huge means small

No worries at all. I'm Anabelle pleased to meet you

Hi Anabelle, I'm ssb. Nice to virtually meet you too

Come here often?

Yes, quite often. I like it here. Where else can you discuss the size of objects you like to play with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small.

Well, shit...

Well, shit what?

The not liking small objects... type... thing.

Not my best attempt at self deprecation, I'll be honest

When I said too small... I didn't mean the objects were that huge

Sincerest apologies for the misunderstanding. I think I'm used to Fab sizes where not huge means small

No worries at all. I'm Anabelle pleased to meet you

Hi Anabelle, I'm ssb. Nice to virtually meet you too

Come here often?

Yes, quite often. I like it here. Where else can you discuss the size of objects you like to play with

True, I suppose you could try it at work and hope the boss takes notice

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By *amescoupleCouple
over a year ago

north walsham

One of the ‘handles’ in a space hopper (c). Seemed like a fun idea at the time.

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By *olidOak85Couple
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"Cucumber once, the ex thought it would be fun! He wasn't wrong mind you."

Me too! Straight from the fridge. Xxher

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I love to be stretched so not objects that were to small.

Well, shit...

Well, shit what?

The not liking small objects... type... thing.

Not my best attempt at self deprecation, I'll be honest

When I said too small... I didn't mean the objects were that huge

Sincerest apologies for the misunderstanding. I think I'm used to Fab sizes where not huge means small

No worries at all. I'm Anabelle pleased to meet you

Hi Anabelle, I'm ssb. Nice to virtually meet you too

Come here often?

Yes, quite often. I like it here. Where else can you discuss the size of objects you like to play with

True, I suppose you could try it at work and hope the boss takes notice

If he did, I wonder if he'd give me more personal time

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By *heeky-gingerWoman
over a year ago

Not meeting

"Cucumber once, the ex thought it would be fun! He wasn't wrong mind you.

Me too! Straight from the fridge. Xxher"

It’s definitely fun, but I don’t enjoy it quite as cold as that!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A truncheon. Because it was there

Ello’ ello’ ello’

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By *eanne1984Woman
over a year ago

wallasey

Bottle of vodka

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ex wife!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My ex Mrs’ toothbrush the day I ‘found out’

Ohhhh!! Revenge is filthy!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A 6ft curtain pole

I am impressed!!!

I didn't get the whole thing in there so it's not that impressive

Ha ha.. I chuckled at this. Made me think of the woman who does the shows in Benidorm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://youtu.be/cTrOb8zyrZk

This also sprung to mind... it’s hilarious! Well... I think it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If he did, I wonder if he'd give me more personal time

Well I certainly would. I'd also need to be present to make sure you aren't fibbing about those objects

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I accidentally slipped and fell on a girthy cucumber once upon a time

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west

A pineapple the proof is in my pics further proof in my friends only pic it was a dare I regrettably did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So this is a little embarrassing, a thin wine bottle empty of course hence why this actually happened, but without the finer details I’m only small n the wine bottle got stuck n I started to panic a little thinking how to I explain this to anyone n who the hell do I call

Anyway I relaxed a little n it came out with a pop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

https://youtu.be/cTrOb8zyrZk, this is an old news article, but it hilarious to show what people use

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By *lueEyedGuyMEMan
over a year ago

MancBoltonBuryWigan

Not that wierd but a hairbrush and an empty bottle of beer lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely nothing.

I have used one of Mrs Cs toys (she doesn't use them anymore) for some anal pleasure though

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By *aughtyDuetCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

A Twix ............ both fingers together. Gets a bit messy but deliciously fun to clean up

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By *lueEyedGuyMEMan
over a year ago

MancBoltonBuryWigan

"A Twix ............ both fingers together. Gets a bit messy but deliciously fun to clean up

Wow i love twix's. Now would be amazing

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By *icole123Woman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

"My Ex!!

Haha x

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By *icole123Woman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Corn on the cob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Ex!!

Haha x"

Glad you like x

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By *lueEyedGuyMEMan
over a year ago

MancBoltonBuryWigan

"Corn on the cob"

Bet that felt good. Be like a big ribbed cock lol

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By *istalloverCouple
over a year ago

Pays de la Loire -Normandie -Brittany borderFrance

"A friend’s husband (honest!) ended up in A&E because he had the lid of a deodorant bottle stuck up his ass and had to get it removed

It wasnt planned

Did it on IMPULSE

Anywsy Mums the word .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex husband?

Apart from him there was this one d*unken evening when the bedpost seemed like it would be a sexy thing for someone to see me use..

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By *istalloverCouple
over a year ago

Pays de la Loire -Normandie -Brittany borderFrance

"Shampoo bottle. Was staying at my ex's parents and was super horny!

Mrs TMN x"

Shampoo bottle

Thats Head and shoulders above the rest of objects.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I may have rubbed a watermelon up

Trust you

I didn’t do it for pleasure!! (Not my pleasure anyway

)

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By *ensual -lover69Man
over a year ago

Blackburn

"I never have, I’m a good girl

I will say this though, the only difference between a marrow and courgette is the amount of lube needed. "

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By *ustandlaceWoman
over a year ago

norwich

An ex boyfriends mums vibrator, I was 17. Still cringe at the thought now but was so desperate to know what one felt like

Bottle of moet, hair brush handle, can of impulse spray, half an actimel bottle , vegetables.... the list is endless with me lol xx

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By *lueEyedGuyMEMan
over a year ago

MancBoltonBuryWigan

[Removed by poster at 04/10/20 08:51:15]

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By *lueEyedGuyMEMan
over a year ago

MancBoltonBuryWigan

"An ex boyfriends mums vibrator, I was 17. Still cringe at the thought now but was so desperate to know what one felt like

Bottle of moet, hair brush handle, can of impulse spray, half an actimel bottle , vegetables.... the list is endless with me lol

xx"

Wow hot pics! And wow thats some variation. What was the best? lol x

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By *ustandlaceWoman
over a year ago

norwich

[Removed by poster at 04/10/20 08:56:30]

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By *ustandlaceWoman
over a year ago

norwich

Ah thank you x

I cant choose a best as mostly done out of desperation lol , or at the hands of another. So all thrilling. I have a substantial toy collection now , so only really use other objects if someone else wants to give it a go... within reason obviously.

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By *mandajane01TV/TS
over a year ago

Ballymena

"A 6ft curtain pole

My pole was 6’2” and spoke little english

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By *lueEyedGuyMEMan
over a year ago

MancBoltonBuryWigan

[Removed by poster at 04/10/20 08:58:54]

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

I fucked myself with a highlighter at work...

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By *lueEyedGuyMEMan
over a year ago

MancBoltonBuryWigan

"Ah thank you x

xx"

Understandable and sounds good to me. Id let you choose anything to use on you

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By *ustandlaceWoman
over a year ago

norwich

Oh and a small marble pastry rolling pin at catering college... again aged 17. Jesus, I was a slut back then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There will be a queue for courgette and cucumber,

nobody mentioned bananas yet!

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By *lueEyedGuyMEMan
over a year ago

MancBoltonBuryWigan

"Oh and a small marble pastry rolling pin at catering college... again aged 17. Jesus, I was a slut back then

You were only experimenting though

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By *ustandlaceWoman
over a year ago

norwich

I did alot of experimenting.... Still do at 42 lol.

I just hope my boyfriend at the time who watched me with the rolling pin isn't on here , as he will now know I fucked his mums sex toy hahaha xx

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By *lueEyedGuyMEMan
over a year ago

MancBoltonBuryWigan

"I did alot of experimenting.... Still do at 42 lol.

I just hope my boyfriend at the time who watched me with the rolling pin isn't on here , as he will now know I fucked his mums sex toy hahaha xx"

that would be hilarious. Well you can never stop experimenting. Do it till your old why not! Lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex's dick,enough said

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Omg! U not belive the butternut squash at work this morn! Was the butt of many jokes cheered us up I've made a vid/ pics of it just uploading! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On reflection, I'd have to say my ex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Impulse body spray can on holiday in Majorca so nothing else to use!

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"A 6ft curtain pole

My pole was 6’2” and spoke little english"

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Oh and a small marble pastry rolling pin at catering college... again aged 17. Jesus, I was a slut back then

Love it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/10/20 14:52:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/10/20 14:53:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My Ex!!

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Definitely my ex

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By *ananas57Couple
over a year ago

lake ariel

A banana

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By *arkcoMan
over a year ago

Lichfield

Personally....bit bereft on this one. But my ex.....

Veg. Far too predictable....cucumber.

Fruit. Obligatory banana.

Wine bottle (neck end!!!)

....a few items of varying levels of perversion used for clittoral stimulation.

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By *umalotagainMan
over a year ago

a town called malice

"Omg! U not belive the butternut squash at work this morn! Was the butt of many jokes cheered us up I've made a vid/ pics of it just uploading! X"

But didn’t it get used properly, at least someone should have had a go with that monster; you got to get your 5 a day, that would count as all 5 and some in a single sitting

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By *ent in BlackMan
over a year ago

Silsden

"My Ex!!

Ha, beat me to it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

His name was Dwayne. Big old hairy chest, a huge gold medallion and the worst shirt I think I've ever seen! Not to mention the biggest mullet known to man!! Yeah, would rather forget that night!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My sister used to have a plush hamster toy with a drawstring. You pull it and the hamster “ran” vibrating along the surfaces she “lost” said toy and never saw it again when I found it felt great on the right spot.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Omg! U not belive the butternut squash at work this morn! Was the butt of many jokes cheered us up I've made a vid/ pics of it just uploading! X"

It looked like it was in good hands

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a business loan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Years ago, Mrs thought it would be a nice treat to pop two ferrero richer up herself for me to eat out.

Oh how we screamed later on when fucking, those sharp little nuts get everywhere.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Omg! U not belive the butternut squash at work this morn! Was the butt of many jokes cheered us up I've made a vid/ pics of it just uploading! X

It looked like it was in good hands

I'm going to give it a go later but dont think I get far is very big x

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Omg! U not belive the butternut squash at work this morn! Was the butt of many jokes cheered us up I've made a vid/ pics of it just uploading! X

But didn’t it get used properly, at least someone should have had a go with that monster; you got to get your 5 a day, that would count as all 5 and some in a single sitting "

I'm gonna try x

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By *isslushWoman
over a year ago

wolverhampton

I have use a can off spay it feel so good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried with a bottle of Holy Water once but every time I got it near, my hole just closed up

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By *SuperbMan
over a year ago

now in Germany

A smooth handled curved top of an African walking cane!

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