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Hypothetical question

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By *rsPricklePants OP   Woman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk

If you was in a swinging relationship/marriage and the other person broke one of the ground rules you had what would you do? Or if it was you that broke a ground rule how do you think the other person might react?

For instance if you had a rule to not fuck someone else in your car as that was a space for just you would expecting them to replace it because it didn't feel like it was your space anymore be reasonable or too much?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would see it as cheating and would find it painful and potentially the end of the relationship.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I tbink replacing the car may seem too much, but I can totally understand why. That area has now become "soiled" and no longer a sacred space, not only that but a constant reminder of a rule break, but realistically a new car would be a constant reminder of a rule break as without it the new car wouldn't even have been thought about.

Rule breaks are difficult to deal with, very difficult. To me it's the same as cheating, so in my mind would be treated as such, and a lot of my response would come from how I was told, or did I find out elsewhere.

Were they genuinely sorry or just sorry they got caught kinda thing.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

I would be more hurt over the betrayal of trust as in my opinion once the trust has been broken it’s hard to get back ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would see it as cheating and would find it painful and potentially the end of the relationship."

Yup, me too.

Lu

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

In this scenario the car is irrelevant as it’s a material thing.

What would matter to me is that they have broken the trust between you, that is not an easy thing to forget, forgive or rebuild

It would warrant a conversation as to why they broke the rule and from that a decision would be made

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

I completely agree that the trust would have been broken. Trust is a huge thing for me, and it's an extremely rare thing for me to forgive a betrayal of my trust...but I would have a conversation with them and make a decision from there.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Hypothetical answer but with reference to our own situation.

We've been together 40 years, through some lovely times and through some horrible times. Swinging is a teeny, tiny part of the bigger picture of our relationship. Breaking one rule would affect it but not end it, it's bigger than that. It would lead to upset and some of those horrible talks that nobody likes but I doubt either of us would chuck the baby out with the bath water. I would hope that after the initial upset we'd be able to discuss what lead to the rule breaking in the first place

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Oh and I wouldn't insist on a new car but a full valet and some seat covers might be in order

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

Give the car a good valet and pack in swinging.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I don't see that buying a new car would solve the problem

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"I would be more hurt over the betrayal of trust as in my opinion once the trust has been broken it’s hard to get back .."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would more than likely end the relationship. The only way swinging relationships can work is if the trust is there. I had a long term fwb for 10 months. He saw others weekly as he was based in a hotel for work, I rarely bothered. I had 3 meets over the 10 months and every time he went sulky. The rules we had were safe sex. Tell each other if we are having a meet. Prioritise each other and never meet others the day/night before meeting each other.

He arranged a meet the night before seeing me. I told him that I wouldn’t be seeing him if he did as it was breaking the rules we had agreed do. I suggested he meet her any of the other 3 days of the week. He said no. I didn’t see him again.

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By *rsPricklePants OP   Woman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk


"I don't see that buying a new car would solve the problem"

I don't mean it to solve the problem I just know that if it was me I wouldn't want to get in it again because I wouldn't feel comfortable with it, I'm not a hardened swinger ,so to speak, as yes I let my husband meet alone but I don't take any enjoyment from it I'm not even happy to do reclaim sex after he's met if he's not showered between so I know I wouldn't want to spend time in a place he had done it with someone else

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I don't see that buying a new car would solve the problem

I don't mean it to solve the problem I just know that if it was me I wouldn't want to get in it again because I wouldn't feel comfortable with it, I'm not a hardened swinger ,so to speak, as yes I let my husband meet alone but I don't take any enjoyment from it I'm not even happy to do reclaim sex after he's met if he's not showered between so I know I wouldn't want to spend time in a place he had done it with someone else "

I have to ask, why have you agreed to something you take no enjoyment from?

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By *rsPricklePants OP   Woman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk


"I don't see that buying a new car would solve the problem

I don't mean it to solve the problem I just know that if it was me I wouldn't want to get in it again because I wouldn't feel comfortable with it, I'm not a hardened swinger ,so to speak, as yes I let my husband meet alone but I don't take any enjoyment from it I'm not even happy to do reclaim sex after he's met if he's not showered between so I know I wouldn't want to spend time in a place he had done it with someone else

I have to ask, why have you agreed to something you take no enjoyment from? "

Because I meet others without him and I don't see why I should stop him seeing others it's only fair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it would put me off swinging completely and that would sooner or later lead to our breakup.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"I don't see that buying a new car would solve the problem

I don't mean it to solve the problem I just know that if it was me I wouldn't want to get in it again because I wouldn't feel comfortable with it, I'm not a hardened swinger ,so to speak, as yes I let my husband meet alone but I don't take any enjoyment from it I'm not even happy to do reclaim sex after he's met if he's not showered between so I know I wouldn't want to spend time in a place he had done it with someone else

I have to ask, why have you agreed to something you take no enjoyment from? "

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