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Meltdowns

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A couple of colleagues had meltdowns the other day

When’s the last time you had one, what was it over and do you think it was justified?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you class as a meltdown?

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By *ikesEmBigMan
over a year ago

Herts

getting close

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you class as a meltdown? "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple of months ago. I was at breaking point with my work load with little help

It was justified

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

A colleague of mine has had a couple of outbursts on a team zoom meeting. Asked how she was she went on a shouty rant about not coping well. This is the second time she's done this. She's a grandma living alone with VERY little contact now with family and friends. I'm ringing and txting regular to give her an outlet. This virus hits everyone different.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

As she lives alone she could make a bubble with one other household (either family or friend) and have contact with them, even physical contact if she chooses

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

The 3rd week of lockdown was my meltdown, I cried for 24hours grieving for my life that I worked so hard to put together. To go from social perfection to social deprivation put my mind into shock for the first 2 weeks, then I had a dream about my social life and the floods opened

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"The 3rd week of lockdown was my meltdown, I cried for 24hours grieving for my life that I worked so hard to put together. To go from social perfection to social deprivation put my mind into shock for the first 2 weeks, then I had a dream about my social life and the floods opened "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A couple of colleagues had meltdowns the other day

When’s the last time you had one, what was it over and do you think it was justified?

"

Always justified, because you cannot dismiss or invalidate that persons feelings, nobody knows what is going on in their lives, or is walking in their shoes, empathy is a skill we don't all have. We sympathise not many of us empathise. Like kindness it costs nothing.

In my building there are 30 of us, I am responsible for 7 of those 30 so there is always someone having an emotional crash and I will do whatever it takes to see them through it

Last time for me was when I went back after Furlough, major emotional crash, panic attack. Thankfully my boss and the girls were great (no eye rolling there) my boss said I give so much of me to everyone else I leave nothing for myself and she was right.

I think it is a shame if you can't support your colleagues, work is tough enough as it is and these times are tough, everyone is feeling a pinch in one way shape or form.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

I had a mini one a couple of months ago...5 months into lockdown and not being able to see someone that I was missing an awful lot. My team leader was so good, I explained my personal situation (I moved into his team shortly before lockdown so he didn't know much about me), and he just calmly assured me that he'd do everything he could work wise to help...and he's been true to his word and has been very flexible with time off at short notice etc to accommodate my plans

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a minor one last night. It was due to dropping my nicotine levels from 1% to 0.6% in my vape liquid - one of the dogs wouldn't settle and dad wouldn't settle because of it. Not really justified and I sorted the problem out after calming down.

I probably have a couple of meltdowns a year due to stress (used to be a lot more) where I really blow my top. Mostly due to not talking about things and letting the stress pile up until it needs to be released.

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By *ic_khan2341Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"A couple of colleagues had meltdowns the other day

When’s the last time you had one, what was it over and do you think it was justified?

"

Getting more common with all this lockdown

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By *ic_khan2341Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"A couple of colleagues had meltdowns the other day

When’s the last time you had one, what was it over and do you think it was justified?

"

Pubs and clubs shutting was a mini meltdown for me

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

A town near you perhaps

At the beginning of lockdown when I thought our business would go bankrupt.

I went into panic mode and broke down in floods of tears and I was extremely worried. As he always does, Mr calmed me down, comforted me, supported me, and told me everything would be ok. And he was right.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I rarely have melt downs. I don't think that's a good thing though, I think it's better to be able to release whatever's causing the stress and give other people the opportunity to support you.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I curled into a ball and couldn't get up again when the gym closed.

Meltdown, flashback, fear. The enormity of responsibility to others, the powerlessness, the loss of coping mechanisms.

This is all hard on us. I think meltdowns are a lot more common this year, and a lot of people for the first time.

The response should be twofold. We need to manage our own distress, find appropriate places to dump it out. But we also need to have compassion for each other. Which is difficult when we're all running on empty.

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours


"I curled into a ball and couldn't get up again when the gym closed.

Meltdown, flashback, fear. The enormity of responsibility to others, the powerlessness, the loss of coping mechanisms.

This is all hard on us. I think meltdowns are a lot more common this year, and a lot of people for the first time.

The response should be twofold. We need to manage our own distress, find appropriate places to dump it out. But we also need to have compassion for each other. Which is difficult when we're all running on empty."

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"

The response should be twofold. We need to manage our own distress, find appropriate places to dump it out. But we also need to have compassion for each other. Which is difficult when we're all running on empty."

Oh, this! It can be really hard to balance our own needs with others.

Mrs TMN x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"

The response should be twofold. We need to manage our own distress, find appropriate places to dump it out. But we also need to have compassion for each other. Which is difficult when we're all running on empty.

Oh, this! It can be really hard to balance our own needs with others.

Mrs TMN x"

Support in (to need), dump out (to people who are in less need).

Problem obviously arises with protracted global trauma... "Out" is getting tired.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I also wonder if this might be a useful learning experience, although I have my doubts.

This year a lot of people are experiencing the sheer brutality of anxiety, of trauma responses, for the first time. And not just an immediate threat - something prolonged and unstoppable at an individual level. This isn't new. This isn't unique to them. Millions of us deal with this every day.

I hope we find it in ourselves to begin to understand one another better, to better appreciate the burden of mental health struggles, and the brute determination it takes to carry on, sometimes. That we appreciate being able to lean on one another.

I'm not optimistic. But I hope.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I honestly don't remember and not sure i've had a true, proper meltdown before. I'm very resilient and I attribute that to never having been coddled or sheltered growing up. I suppose i've had what's termed stress inoculation and won't be paralyzed to inaction by stressful triggers.

That's not to say I haven't been bummed out, sad or tearful before over stressful events. Everyone copes in their own way.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport


"What do you class as a meltdown? "

Meltdowns can take many different forms and it's not always obvious to others. Our society puts a lot of pressure on people, particularly men, that they should be "strong" and not show their emotional side. That it is a virtue to hide their feelings and carry on, but often this just lets the pressures increase, until a breaking point is reached.

Personally i feel that showing your emotions and reaching out for help from others when it is needed is a sign of inner strength and security. Certainly better than the people who (quite probably even unknowingly) cast their insecurity and pain onto others, tell themselves that they have no weakness, but are actually toxic to all around them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you class as a meltdown?

Meltdowns can take many different forms and it's not always obvious to others. Our society puts a lot of pressure on people, particularly men, that they should be "strong" and not show their emotional side. That it is a virtue to hide their feelings and carry on, but often this just lets the pressures increase, until a breaking point is reached.

Personally i feel that showing your emotions and reaching out for help from others when it is needed is a sign of inner strength and security. Certainly better than the people who (quite probably even unknowingly) cast their insecurity and pain onto others, tell themselves that they have no weakness, but are actually toxic to all around them."

Brilliantly said!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have them at work, bosses value money over staff too much now. We’re all under twice our workloads and they like do more.

Yes its the ‘new way of life’ but sooner enough someone will quit/get hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every now and i properly lose my shit! Then go off the rails, delete fab, block everyone and have a few days of quiet and pick myself up again.

I am great to be around

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Every now and i properly lose my shit! Then go off the rails, delete fab, block everyone and have a few days of quiet and pick myself up again.

I am great to be around

"

Happens x

Coping mechanisms really help you ride it out.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Depends on your definition of a meltdown.

I don't really do whirling dervish. I used to work with someone like that and it was hard work. But different things trigger different people in different ways especially in these strange times.

If you mean crying then I don't class that as a meltdown. Cried this week over a friend who passed away recently, as still can't really believe it.

Releasing emotions is a good thing, I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Every now and i properly lose my shit! Then go off the rails, delete fab, block everyone and have a few days of quiet and pick myself up again.

I am great to be around

"

Yes you are great to be around and great support to others.

I dont see shutting the world out for a few days as bad thing.

Sometimes we need a break from the world and its pressures and thats healthy.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Depends on your definition of a meltdown.

I don't really do whirling dervish. I used to work with someone like that and it was hard work. But different things trigger different people in different ways especially in these strange times.

If you mean crying then I don't class that as a meltdown. Cried this week over a friend who passed away recently, as still can't really believe it.

Releasing emotions is a good thing, I think.

"

Definitions are loose, sometimes

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Every now and i properly lose my shit! Then go off the rails, delete fab, block everyone and have a few days of quiet and pick myself up again.

I am great to be around

Yes you are great to be around and great support to others.

I dont see shutting the world out for a few days as bad thing.

Sometimes we need a break from the world and its pressures and thats healthy.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me a meltdown is nature's way of relieving stress. I'm not sure that it's healthy to bottle it all inside and let things eat you up.

For me there's two kinds of meltdowns. One that affects you, be that on your own or with your "person" whom you unload on. A problem shared is a problem halved. I think this is healthy.

And then there's the misery loves company meltdown where some people feel better by taking their stress out on others. I don't think this is healthy at all.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"For me a meltdown is nature's way of relieving stress. I'm not sure that it's healthy to bottle it all inside and let things eat you up.

For me there's two kinds of meltdowns. One that affects you, be that on your own or with your "person" whom you unload on. A problem shared is a problem halved. I think this is healthy.

And then there's the misery loves company meltdown where some people feel better by taking their stress out on others. I don't think this is healthy at all."

I see a meltdown as an emotional loss of control. It can be sensory overload or a tipping over of psychological problems.

Whether it's an outburst/ strop or an internal storm, or both.

They manifest very differently, but it's someone hitting a psychological wall at speed.

They're very frustrating to deal with, both on the inside and the outside. And it's very hard to keep a cool head about.

And yes, people will certainly display these things very differently, inward or outward. Outward I find much less sympathetic, although I've been dealing with this shit for a long time and do my best to displace my distress away from others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a woman at work who is constantly on the verge of a meltdown.

She gets grumpy and angry all the time. Sometimes she won't talk to people and other times she's in a good mood. You never know if something you say is going to set her off on a rant. Or worse.

Just waiting for the meltdown because it will be spectacular!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you class as a meltdown?

Meltdowns can take many different forms and it's not always obvious to others. Our society puts a lot of pressure on people, particularly men, that they should be "strong" and not show their emotional side. That it is a virtue to hide their feelings and carry on, but often this just lets the pressures increase, until a breaking point is reached.

Personally i feel that showing your emotions and reaching out for help from others when it is needed is a sign of inner strength and security. Certainly better than the people who (quite probably even unknowingly) cast their insecurity and pain onto others, tell themselves that they have no weakness, but are actually toxic to all around them."

Wonderfully put and thank you. I agree meltdowns can take so many different forms which is why I asked for clarification, I wasn't trying to sound arrogant, it was a genuine question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You see my melt down was slightly different I was still trying to ‘hold it together’ but my emotions showed it I was close to tears and people could see I was it was only when one of my colleagues took me aside and had a 1-1 chat with me and it all came flooding out them. It was for the best as I’ve had really good support since and if anything I would say I’ve gained more reaped from my peers so actually sometimes it does need to happen, as much in to teach us that we can ask for help

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"You see my melt down was slightly different I was still trying to ‘hold it together’ but my emotions showed it I was close to tears and people could see I was it was only when one of my colleagues took me aside and had a 1-1 chat with me and it all came flooding out them. It was for the best as I’ve had really good support since and if anything I would say I’ve gained more reaped from my peers so actually sometimes it does need to happen, as much in to teach us that we can ask for help "

I'm glad you had the support you needed. Long may it continue

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

The last time I had what could be described as a meltdown would be a day after my dad died. I was busy going through his stuff and then something really unnecessary happened and it all blew up. I was barely coping as it was but that was the final thing for me. I didn't really do it in public, I hid away when back at my house and then spent a few days feeling exhausted and numb.

I do think "meltdowns" can be good, it gives you a release and helps you get things out of your system in a cathartic way. I have been on the unpleasant end of them though - when people become toxic/lash out/fail to acknowledge you were there for them. As draining as they are for you, they can also be for the other person. That crap is shite. So yes, all for them as long as it doesn't have a detrimental effect on others or if it does, that harm is minimized as much as possible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I do think "meltdowns" can be good, it gives you a release and helps you get things out of your system in a cathartic way. I have been on the unpleasant end of them though - when people become toxic/lash out/fail to acknowledge you were there for them. As draining as they are for you, they can also be for the other person. That crap is shite. So yes, all for them as long as it doesn't have a detrimental effect on others or if it does, that harm is minimized as much as possible."

I've had 'meltdowns' all my life. Just letting things get on top of me until something quite minor will set me off and no one can see them coming. I have lashed out physically and will throw things.

As I've gotten older they have diminished in frequency and now take me a bit by surprise when they happen (before I could tell I was going 'to blow' but couldn't stop it).

They do act as a way to release the stress and tension that has been building but not sure if it is an entirely 'good' thing for me. They have reduced in frequency because I do talk about stuff bothering me more rather than keeping it bottled up.

Been on the receiving end of meltdowns with a family member (and have found it an unpleasant experience) and I have more of an understanding of what other people must be feeling when I blow up on them. But been on the receibing end can also set me having a 'meltdown' off as well (which has happened a couple of times).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A couple of colleagues had meltdowns the other day

When’s the last time you had one, what was it over and do you think it was justified?

"

Yup. I have been pretty stressed with work recently and my workload substantially increasing due to additional covid-19 protocols, that I have had a few mini meltdowns. Got quite tearful the other night. I had to resort to eating junk food and way too many magnum ice creams! I am not proud of myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My last one was two weeks ago. My friend finally moved out after staying with me for two months and I wanted to get back on track with losing weight. When I opened my weight loss app I realised I don't understand half of the stuff they are talking about because they were explaining them in daily articles over the two months period. That made me feel like a complete failure, because I paid for that app and instead of losing weight I'm now even heavier, then I spiralled into thinking about what made me lose all my self worth and got me into this mess in the first place. I ended up crying for most of the night.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I rarely have them because I tend to say what I am feeling rather than bottling it up to then explode at the wrong time/person. However not long after I lost my dad we had a family situation where I thought I was going mad as other members in my family were allowing my mother to behave outrageously, it wasn’t until I confronted her that everyone backed me up Please don’t bottle it up people it’s not good for your sanity or psyche

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"My last one was two weeks ago. My friend finally moved out after staying with me for two months and I wanted to get back on track with losing weight. When I opened my weight loss app I realised I don't understand half of the stuff they are talking about because they were explaining them in daily articles over the two months period. That made me feel like a complete failure, because I paid for that app and instead of losing weight I'm now even heavier, then I spiralled into thinking about what made me lose all my self worth and got me into this mess in the first place. I ended up crying for most of the night."

You're beautiful

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Ummmm about 8 weeks ago at a neighbour for insulting my mum in front of me

Wasn’t happy lost my shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Full on panic attack about 5 years ago in front of an office full of people.

Wont go into reasons but no justification needed in this instance.

Having a rant or losing your shit isn't a meltdown.

Until you've experienced a full on panic attack you have no idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Full on panic attack about 5 years ago in front of an office full of people.

Wont go into reasons but no justification needed in this instance.

Having a rant or losing your shit isn't a meltdown.

Until you've experienced a full on panic attack you have no idea."

Last time I had one of them was about a month ago. I spent about 3 hours on the phone to a friend just to bring me back down to reality. Thankfully he's a good egg who had me laughing by the end of the conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Full on panic attack about 5 years ago in front of an office full of people.

Wont go into reasons but no justification needed in this instance.

Having a rant or losing your shit isn't a meltdown.

Until you've experienced a full on panic attack you have no idea."

What is the difference?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A panic attack is not the same as a meltdown or rant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A panic attack is not the same as a meltdown or rant."

Taking rants out of the equation, it really depends what your classing as a meltdown. I've had moments that I would refer to as a meltdown right up until fairly recently but I wasn't ranting at anyone. I was crying, scared, my anxiety levels were off the charts and all of this can induce a panic attack or be brought on by one depending what the trigger is. There's a lot of other things that can happen or cause these too but not anything I'd particularly like to disclose on here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’m classing a meltdown on here when someone has a tantrum or hissy fit because their stapler for example doesn’t work and their reaction is blown out of all proportion.

My colleagues are my friends, I’ve known them for years and my office is known for being incredibly close knit and supportive.

Sometimes eye rolling is justified and even my colleagues who had the meltdowns said were over the top

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Full on panic attack about 5 years ago in front of an office full of people.

Wont go into reasons but no justification needed in this instance.

Having a rant or losing your shit isn't a meltdown.

Until you've experienced a full on panic attack you have no idea.

What is the difference? "

Pretty much sums it up below

I thought I was having a heart attack.

'A panic attack is the abrupt onset of intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within minutes and includes at least four of the following symptoms:

Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate

Sweating

Trembling or shaking

Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering

Feelings of choking

Chest pain or discomfort

Nausea or abdominal distress

Feeling dizzy, unsteady, light-headed, or faint

Chills or heat sensations

Paresthesia (numbness or tingling sensations)

Derealization (feelings of unreality) or depersonalization (being detached from oneself)

Fear of losing control or “going crazy”

Fear of dying'

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Full on panic attack about 5 years ago in front of an office full of people.

Wont go into reasons but no justification needed in this instance.

Having a rant or losing your shit isn't a meltdown.

Until you've experienced a full on panic attack you have no idea."

A full on panic attack is terrifying. They can come on you for no reason apparent to anyone else and they take over your entire being.

There's a massive difference between that and a meltdown.

I completely agree Sir Simian. Until you've experienced that you've no idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You see my melt down was slightly different I was still trying to ‘hold it together’ but my emotions showed it I was close to tears and people could see I was it was only when one of my colleagues took me aside and had a 1-1 chat with me and it all came flooding out them. It was for the best as I’ve had really good support since and if anything I would say I’ve gained more reaped from my peers so actually sometimes it does need to happen, as much in to teach us that we can ask for help "

I agree totally with this, I had a huge meltdown at work due to a lot of personal stuff, I wanted to do serious damage to myself at work as things just got on top of me, a work mate told me to take 5 out of the way she got hold of my immediate boss who got me to 'get everything out' and take some time off work. I took a good few months off, I also got plenty of counselling through work, who have been absolutely brilliant, with me. I went back just before lock down I feel a lot better than before, however the breakdown did teach me one thing and that is there is always help out there you have just got to ask for it.. but the 'pride of being a man' can and does often over ride the asking for help.. which it really shouldn't but..

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I class a meltdown as beyond a panic attack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I class a meltdown as beyond a panic attack "

If you consider a meltdown the same as a nervous/mental breakdown then yes.

Most seem to think getting into a heated argument and saying some unpleasant things, losing your temper as a meltdown.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I class a meltdown as beyond a panic attack

If you consider a meltdown the same as a nervous/mental breakdown then yes.

Most seem to think getting into a heated argument and saying some unpleasant things, losing your temper as a meltdown."

Yeah. Losing it is one thing, panic attack is worse, meltdown is beyond that. Maybe breakdown beyond that? It's certainly not just losing your cool.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I class a meltdown as beyond a panic attack "

You may, but in my thread it isn’t

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I class a meltdown as beyond a panic attack

You may, but in my thread it isn’t "

Ok. So by meltdown you mean, what, strop?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I class a meltdown as beyond a panic attack

You may, but in my thread it isn’t

Ok. So by meltdown you mean, what, strop?"

Take it easy young lady xx

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I class a meltdown as beyond a panic attack

If you consider a meltdown the same as a nervous/mental breakdown then yes.

Most seem to think getting into a heated argument and saying some unpleasant things, losing your temper as a meltdown."

Or being temporarily emotionally overwhelmed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I class a meltdown as beyond a panic attack

If you consider a meltdown the same as a nervous/mental breakdown then yes.

Most seem to think getting into a heated argument and saying some unpleasant things, losing your temper as a meltdown.

Or being temporarily emotionally overwhelmed. "

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I class a meltdown as beyond a panic attack

You may, but in my thread it isn’t

Ok. So by meltdown you mean, what, strop?"

Yes, a tantrum or hissy fit. Nothing as major as a panic attack which I consider the most extreme.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I don't know if it's a meltdown, but I have burst into tears and felt totally out of control emotionally twice in the past week. Had chest pains, hyperventilating, a feeling of wanting to run away etc. Both times during Teams meetings. The cause? Excessive workload and lack of support, since March. My assistant was either unable to work her hours due to her daughter being home or was then furloughed. I've run my department single handedly and done two or three people's jobs ever since. I've still got 21/30 days holiday to use, I didn't take any annual leave over the summer and upon the unfurloughing of my assistant at the start of September, I was informed she was only back PT and then she almost immediately had a positive Covid test in her family so had to keep her daughter home again. Back to March again and still no support for me.

I've done exactly the same in my department as another head of dept has done with 3 FT staff. I've done it on my own, by working myself into the ground but even when I'm losing the plot (which is NOT how I roll usually), I get a lecture on "you must control your emotions in the workplace". I've been told there is no chance of any further resource heading my way, so my choices are carry on and try not to lose the plot, or go off sick. If I go off, no-one will do my job and I'll go back to absolute carnage.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I class a meltdown as beyond a panic attack

You may, but in my thread it isn’t

Ok. So by meltdown you mean, what, strop?

Yes, a tantrum or hissy fit. Nothing as major as a panic attack which I consider the most extreme."

Ok. It happens. People need to work out how to control themselves but others might want to consider why it's happening and how we can support each other.

I fortunately lead a pretty solitary existence and go yell at the fridge if I need to. The fridge doesn't care.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I don't know if it's a meltdown, but I have burst into tears and felt totally out of control emotionally twice in the past week. Had chest pains, hyperventilating, a feeling of wanting to run away etc. Both times during Teams meetings. The cause? Excessive workload and lack of support, since March. My assistant was either unable to work her hours due to her daughter being home or was then furloughed. I've run my department single handedly and done two or three people's jobs ever since. I've still got 21/30 days holiday to use, I didn't take any annual leave over the summer and upon the unfurloughing of my assistant at the start of September, I was informed she was only back PT and then she almost immediately had a positive Covid test in her family so had to keep her daughter home again. Back to March again and still no support for me.

I've done exactly the same in my department as another head of dept has done with 3 FT staff. I've done it on my own, by working myself into the ground but even when I'm losing the plot (which is NOT how I roll usually), I get a lecture on "you must control your emotions in the workplace". I've been told there is no chance of any further resource heading my way, so my choices are carry on and try not to lose the plot, or go off sick. If I go off, no-one will do my job and I'll go back to absolute carnage. "

I'm so sorry you're dealing with so much x

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Oh and since March, we also had our daughter at home (nursery reopened in June). I've had to rescue my dad with dementia from various difficult/dangerous situations and managed two episodes of suicidal thoughts from our son. Oh, and I had gynaecology surgery in August. And I live with constant pain due my disability. Add all that to the above too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh and since March, we also had our daughter at home (nursery reopened in June). I've had to rescue my dad with dementia from various difficult/dangerous situations and managed two episodes of suicidal thoughts from our son. Oh, and I had gynaecology surgery in August. And I live with constant pain due my disability. Add all that to the above too. "

You might make yourself so ill you will have to be off sick for a while. Sounds like you already have more than enough grounds to ask your doctor to sign you off. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Full on panic attack about 5 years ago in front of an office full of people.

Wont go into reasons but no justification needed in this instance.

Having a rant or losing your shit isn't a meltdown.

Until you've experienced a full on panic attack you have no idea.

What is the difference?

Pretty much sums it up below

I thought I was having a heart attack.

'A panic attack is the abrupt onset of intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within minutes and includes at least four of the following symptoms:

Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate

Sweating

Trembling or shaking

Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering

Feelings of choking

Chest pain or discomfort

Nausea or abdominal distress

Feeling dizzy, unsteady, light-headed, or faint

Chills or heat sensations

Paresthesia (numbness or tingling sensations)

Derealization (feelings of unreality) or depersonalization (being detached from oneself)

Fear of losing control or “going crazy”

Fear of dying'"

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Oh and since March, we also had our daughter at home (nursery reopened in June). I've had to rescue my dad with dementia from various difficult/dangerous situations and managed two episodes of suicidal thoughts from our son. Oh, and I had gynaecology surgery in August. And I live with constant pain due my disability. Add all that to the above too.

You might make yourself so ill you will have to be off sick for a while. Sounds like you already have more than enough grounds to ask your doctor to sign you off. X"

I'm well aware, but going off sick means I'm stuck at home. S works for the same organisation in a related department so I wouldn't be able to get away from the "workplace". Due to the surgery I had, I can't go out on my own because I can't lift my wheelchair in/out of the car or push uphill, so if I'm off sick, I'm still stuck in the workplace, listening to S and I'll be able to hear the carnage that no-one doing my job would cause. I feel very trapped actually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh and since March, we also had our daughter at home (nursery reopened in June). I've had to rescue my dad with dementia from various difficult/dangerous situations and managed two episodes of suicidal thoughts from our son. Oh, and I had gynaecology surgery in August. And I live with constant pain due my disability. Add all that to the above too. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't know if it's a meltdown, but I have burst into tears and felt totally out of control emotionally twice in the past week. Had chest pains, hyperventilating, a feeling of wanting to run away etc. Both times during Teams meetings. The cause? Excessive workload and lack of support, since March. My assistant was either unable to work her hours due to her daughter being home or was then furloughed. I've run my department single handedly and done two or three people's jobs ever since. I've still got 21/30 days holiday to use, I didn't take any annual leave over the summer and upon the unfurloughing of my assistant at the start of September, I was informed she was only back PT and then she almost immediately had a positive Covid test in her family so had to keep her daughter home again. Back to March again and still no support for me.

I've done exactly the same in my department as another head of dept has done with 3 FT staff. I've done it on my own, by working myself into the ground but even when I'm losing the plot (which is NOT how I roll usually), I get a lecture on "you must control your emotions in the workplace". I've been told there is no chance of any further resource heading my way, so my choices are carry on and try not to lose the plot, or go off sick. If I go off, no-one will do my job and I'll go back to absolute carnage. "

That absolutely sucks and my heart goes out to you.

Having a meltdown in that scenario is absolutely justified.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Total meltdown 3 years ago and came out as the real me not the one that had been hiding from the abusive childhood. I still struggle with flashbacks...some new and some previously encountered and processed. Some nights are good nights and some are hazes that lead to me curled in a corner in tears..but they re cleansing tears..processing. Some days, most days are great but some are nasty and hurtful. It will never leave me but I know now how to process and deal with it. 3 years ago was a total reboot of the brain..it was as much a breakthrough as a breakdown. Such is life eh!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Total meltdown 3 years ago and came out as the real me not the one that had been hiding from the abusive childhood. I still struggle with flashbacks...some new and some previously encountered and processed. Some nights are good nights and some are hazes that lead to me curled in a corner in tears..but they re cleansing tears..processing. Some days, most days are great but some are nasty and hurtful. It will never leave me but I know now how to process and deal with it. 3 years ago was a total reboot of the brain..it was as much a breakthrough as a breakdown. Such is life eh!? "

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Total meltdown 3 years ago and came out as the real me not the one that had been hiding from the abusive childhood. I still struggle with flashbacks...some new and some previously encountered and processed. Some nights are good nights and some are hazes that lead to me curled in a corner in tears..but they re cleansing tears..processing. Some days, most days are great but some are nasty and hurtful. It will never leave me but I know now how to process and deal with it. 3 years ago was a total reboot of the brain..it was as much a breakthrough as a breakdown. Such is life eh!? "

What doesn't kill us may maim us... but we prevail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On Thursday after speaking to my GP. But I’ve been referred to psychology and my GP thinks I’m bipolar. So things are (sort of) on the up, and I haven’t even cried since Thursday.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Total meltdown 3 years ago and came out as the real me not the one that had been hiding from the abusive childhood. I still struggle with flashbacks...some new and some previously encountered and processed. Some nights are good nights and some are hazes that lead to me curled in a corner in tears..but they re cleansing tears..processing. Some days, most days are great but some are nasty and hurtful. It will never leave me but I know now how to process and deal with it. 3 years ago was a total reboot of the brain..it was as much a breakthrough as a breakdown. Such is life eh!? "

Much love to you treemonkey

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I've never had a meltdown.

I occasionally get justifiably angry or frustrated and will vent.

Everyone copes differently and this situation is very hard for a lot of people.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I've never had a meltdown.

I occasionally get justifiably angry or frustrated and will vent.

Everyone copes differently and this situation is very hard for a lot of people. "

I'd not until this past week. The first time in my life

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By *amescoupleCouple
over a year ago

north walsham

Depends on what a meltdown really is.

Both been going a torrid time last few weeks due to some really crappy stuff.

So for me (c) it was at work yesterday morning and thankfully I had some work friends to help me. For M is was last night and would be a fairly major meltdown by his standards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Total meltdown 3 years ago and came out as the real me not the one that had been hiding from the abusive childhood. I still struggle with flashbacks...some new and some previously encountered and processed. Some nights are good nights and some are hazes that lead to me curled in a corner in tears..but they re cleansing tears..processing. Some days, most days are great but some are nasty and hurtful. It will never leave me but I know now how to process and deal with it. 3 years ago was a total reboot of the brain..it was as much a breakthrough as a breakdown. Such is life eh!?

What doesn't kill us may maim us... but we prevail"

It certainly does and makes us see life differently to many..different priorities

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