FabSwingers.com forum: The FabMusicSingles Top 100 Chart Countdown

By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Dropping down 69 places to No 100, it's FuckBuddy Holly - Raining In My Heart.

The sun is out - the sky is blue

I heard my mate was shagging you

Now it’s raining - raining in my heart

I checked to see if you’re online today

Your status says you’re having a play

and it’s raining - raining in my heart

Oh, misery - misery

what’s gonna become of me

I tell my blues they mustn’t show

but I posted it so they all know

that it’s raining - raining in my heart

But it’s raining - raining in my heart

And it’s raining - raining in my heart

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Straight in at No 98, TV-Rex, Ride A Wide Schlong.

Ride it on out like a bird in a porn film

Ride it on out like you were that bird

In your front and then you back hole

Remember douche first to clear out the turd

Wear some high heels like they did in the old days

Wear ya’ high heels and a dressing gown

Ride a wide schlong like you’re kinky in the bedroom

If it’s wide and it’s long, babe, you can`t go wrong

Catch a foreskin with the chipped bit on your molars

He’ll say “fuckin’ hell” so may be take it slow

Take a full batch

don’t spit over ya’ shoulder

and in the morning when you pee you’ll know

da-da-di-di-aghhhhhhhhhh

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

One slot missed already... but that's not ususal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One slot missed already... but that's not ususal."
thats tom jones isn't,lol

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I cant cope with another 97 of these without breathing apparatus

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No 97, Knobhead O'Condom, Nothing Compare To Herpes.

It's been seven hours and fifteen days

Since you took your cock away

I go on cam every night and the same all day

Since you took your cock away

Since you been gone I can’t screw whoever I want

I can’t see whomever I choose

I could meet some geezer in his car may be for a quick wank

But nothing, I said nothing can protect these dudes

`Cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here

Like a vibe when the batteries have gone

Nothing can stop my saggy pants from falling

Tell me baby did you know what was wrong

I could put my arms around every boy I see

But they'd only get what I got off you

I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me

Guess what he told me

He said girl take these until they’re all gone

And use this ointment too

For a week or two

`Cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

All the swelling and the rash that you gave me, darlin’

Around my (wink) back yard

It cleared up and it went away

I know living with the flare-ups is sometimes hard

But I'm willing to give it another try

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fox ache Polo my sides are aching laughing ..... thing is I can't help but sing-a-long-a all the words.

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No 96, Army Windbag, Are you Free?

Well, sometimes I go out by myself

tryna’ shag somebody’s daughter

And I think of all the things, we could be doing

And in my head I paint a picture

I end up coming home

And my nob it needs a rest

And I've messed inside my pants

And even splattered on my vest

Won't you come on over

Or get on cam and wank for me

Why don't you come on over are you free?

Are you free? Are you free?

Did you delete the stuff I mailed

Does no answer mean I failed

Do I do it for ya’?

Hope you like my pic

Have I got the right size dick

To cum loads for ya’?

Are you dogging anywhere

Send the postcode I’ll be there

Are you busy?

And did you get the friend request?

Do you like a hairy chest?

Are you still busy?

Since I've cum alone

And my jizz has made a mess

Would you mind it in your hair

Can I see you get undressed

Won't you come on over

The wife’s at work from 9 to 3

Why don't you come on over, are you free?

Are you free? Are you free? Are you free?

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No 95, Bitch Assley, never Gonna Give You Up (aka the stalkers song).

We’re no strangers to love

Forget the rules, you’re gonna be all mine

A full commitments what Im thinking of

You wouldnt ditch me ya’ cunt, even if ya’ try

I just wanna tell you how Im feeling

Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Don’t ya’ know if you try, I’ll hurt you

We’ve know each other not so long

I know you want me

But you’re too shy to say it

Inside we both know whats been going on

I know ya name, I marker penned a tattoo of it

And if you ask me how Im feeling

Dont tell me youre too blind to see

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Don’t ya’ know if you try, I’ll hurt you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No 95, Bitch Assley, never Gonna Give You Up (aka the stalkers song).

We’re no strangers to love

Forget the rules, you’re gonna be all mine

A full commitments what Im thinking of

You wouldnt ditch me ya’ cunt, even if ya’ try

I just wanna tell you how Im feeling

Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Don’t ya’ know if you try, I’ll hurt you

We’ve know each other not so long

I know you want me

But you’re too shy to say it

Inside we both know whats been going on

I know ya name, I marker penned a tattoo of it

And if you ask me how Im feeling

Dont tell me youre too blind to see

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Don’t ya’ know if you try, I’ll hurt you

"
well done that girl,loved them

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

In at 94 pop-pickers and it's Dolly Hardon with 9 - 5

Tumble outta bed and I stumble to the kitchen

Pour myself a cup of ambition

And yawnin', stretchin', try to come to life

Jump in the shower and the hand starts pumpin'

Out on the streets, the traffic starts jumpin'

With folks like me on the job from 9 to 5

Wankin' 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin'

Barely gettin' by, it's all tuggin' and all jizzin'

I just use my hand and I never over flog it

It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it

9 to 5, for service and devotion

Its fuckin’ raw, so I need a lot of lotion

Want to get out more, but my hand won’t seem to let me

I swear sometimes that hand is out to get me

Wankin' 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin'

Barely gettin' by, it's all tuggin' and all jizzin'

I just use my hand and I never over flog it

It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No 93.... Press-On Wings, Bull of Kintyre.

Bull of Kintyre, cuckold my husband with me

My desire is always this greedy

Oh Bull of Kintyre

Too long I’ve been married, my husbands a

Dark distant stranger come give me your seed

Pull down my panties in front of the fire

Tell my husband to fuck off oh Bull of Kintyre

Bull of Kintyre, please cuckold my husband with me

My desire is him see you please me

Oh Bull of Kintyre

I shout at my hubby and see lots of men

Flat on my back or I straddle on them

Nights when we shag whilst the bed it does rock

And we laugh at my husband with his tiny cock

Bull of Kintyre, oh cuckold my husband with me

My desire is for him to be here

Oh Bull of Kintyre

Spunk on my face and show non of it’s his

He’s not man enough to produce that much Jizz

Finger me, fuck me until we both tire

And my hubby just watches us Bull of Kintyre

Bull of Kintyre, cuckold my husband with me

My desire is always this greedy

Oh Bull of Kintyre

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No 92.... BiCouple Jackson, Huge Individual.

As he came up to the window

The moaning sounds were a crescendo

Through the door of her apartment

He saw bloodstains on the carpet

She was laying on the table

He could se she wasn’t able

He saw the mess inside the bedroom

She’d been stretched out, it was her doom

Is ya’ fanny OK?

Is it OK,

Tell me how’s ya’ fanny

Fanny! Is it OK?

Is ya’ fanny OK?

Is it OK, tell me that it’s OK ya fanny.

Is your fanny OK?

Is ya’ fanny OK?

Is it OK, Is ya fanny OK?

Tell me that it’s OK, that it’s OK your fanny?

Is it OK, tell me how’s ya’ fanny

Is your fanny OK?

You’ve been split by, ripped to shit by a huge individual.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No 93.... Press-On Wings, Bull of Kintyre.

Bull of Kintyre, cuckold my husband with me

My desire is always this greedy

Oh Bull of Kintyre

Too long I’ve been married, my husbands a

Dark distant stranger come give me your seed

Pull down my panties in front of the fire

Tell my husband to fuck off oh Bull of Kintyre

Bull of Kintyre, please cuckold my husband with me

My desire is him see you please me

Oh Bull of Kintyre

I shout at my hubby and see lots of men

Flat on my back or I straddle on them

Nights when we shag whilst the bed it does rock

And we laugh at my husband with his tiny cock

Bull of Kintyre, oh cuckold my husband with me

My desire is for him to be here

Oh Bull of Kintyre

Spunk on my face and show non of it’s his

He’s not man enough to produce that much Jizz

Finger me, fuck me until we both tire

And my hubby just watches us Bull of Kintyre

Bull of Kintyre, cuckold my husband with me

My desire is always this greedy

Oh Bull of Kintyre

..... gotta say I love this version!

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

At No 92 it's The 'ArdDick Spunkys, I Bet That You’d Look Good On Mi’ Nan’s Floor.

Some girl’s making the eyes at me, but I can’t really take her home

It’s not that I don’t want to, just the missus will likely moan

Mi’ Nan’s getting her hip done (house free tonight)

I could use it for some fun (if I play it right)

I’ll say I’m single and I’ll hide my wedding band

Play it cool could result in a bang, b-b-bang, go!

I bet that she’d look good on mi’ Nan’s floor

I don't know if she’s looking for romance or

I don't know what she’s looking for

I said I bet that she’d look good on mi’ Nan’s floor

I’ts fake parquet lino from 1984

From 1984

I can’t risk the bedroom, coz mi’ Nan’s clothes are everywhere

Hope she don’t need the bathroom, her spare colostomy bag’s in there

If I don’t put the lights on (don’t make it bright)

She won’t see the nylon (firm support tights)

I’ll say I’m Neo, if she’s a Matric fan

Then ply with booze to result in a bang, b-b-bang, go!

I bet that she’d look good on mi’ Nan’s floor

I don't know what she’s gone and brought a bag for

She’s not stopping here that’s for sure

I said I bet that she’d look good on mi’ Nan’s floor

I’ts fake parquet lino from 1984

From 1984!

Oh, there ain't no love, no Montagues or Capulets

Just me banging her tidy ass off,

Against mi’ Nan’s kitchen cabinets

It turned out just right on mi’ Nan’s floor

I got everything that I planned for

Hope later on she’s not back for more

I said she’d better leave coz mi’ cock’s sore

Avoid the neighbours and leave by the back door

They’re nosey at number 84.

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No 91, Kylie Mingehole, Can't Give Your Cock Enough Head

La la la

La la la la la

La la la

La la la la la

I just can't give your cock enough head

Boy your penis is all I think about

I just can't give your cock enough head

Boy it's all that I seem to think about

La la la

La la la la la

I just can't give your cock enough head

Boy your penis is all I think about

I just can't give your cock enough head

Boy it's all that I seem to care about

Every night

Every day

Just to be there in your arms

Won't you stay

Can we play

Stay forever and ever and ever and ever

La la la

La la la la la

La la la

La la la la la

Can I see you, if I give you head

Boy your penis is all I think about

I lay awake all alone in my bed

I don't care if we're not really going out

Get... your... hard... penis in me

I’ll pull my flange lips apart

When you free

Let me feel you willy

Have sex with me

Stay forever and ever and ever and ever

La la la

La la la la la

La la la

La la la la la

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should sing these and youtube them, you'd be a sensation lol.

Tks for making me chuckle.

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No 90, The Bee Gees, Tight Beaver:

Pull your panties down

Now move your cam around

Slide your fingers down

Go on just feel it

Do you have pubic hair

Are you shaven down there

Sit back further in the chair

So I can see it

Show clit woman

Move into the light

Put fingers inside of your hole

Fuck that beaver, yeah

Is that feeling right

Is that a tight beaver, tight beaver

Show me how you do it

Finger that tight beaver, tight beaver

You know you want to show it

Here I am

Prayin' my connection will last

Jerking off to pussy online

Havin’ a wank

Tugging on mine

Tight beaver, tight beaver

Show me how you do it

Finger that tight beaver, tight beaver

You know you want to show it

It’s hand solo love

Don't need no help for us to make it

Gimme just enough

To take us to the mornin'

I got one thing on my mind

Do some dirty talkin’

Before I cum, should I

Give you warnin'

Show clit woman

Move into the light

Put fingers inside of your hole

Fuck that beaver, yeah

Is that feeling right

Bet you’ve a tight beaver, tight beaver

Show me how you do it

Finger that tight beaver, tight beaver

You know you want to show it

Here I am

Prayin' my connection will last

Jerking off to pussy online

Havin’ a wank

Tugging on mine

Tight beaver, tight beaver

Show me how you do it

Finger that tight beaver, tight beaver

You know you want to show it

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No 89, Rude Royce, Cock Wash.

Pooooo Woo

You might be well hung and rich

But lookin’ at ya’ cock is makin’ me itch

There ain't no tellin’ where it’s been

It’s not touchin’ me, ‘til I see you’ve got it clean.

Cock wash.

Go and get ya’ cock washed yeah !

Come on get some soap on it, cock wash.

I can see the cheese peeling, cock wash yeah.

God some of that crust looks kinda hard

From my fanny lips your well and truly barred

Let me tell you it's just not cool

To have that much crust hanging off your tool.

Cock wash.

Go and get ya’ cock washed yeah !

Come on shower gel won’t sting it, cock wash.

I can see the cheese peeling, cock wash yeah.

(Work and work) Wet the flannel and then start rubbin’.

(Work and work) God I bet your pants are hummin'

(Work and work) that cheese off of your nob

(Work) Think I’m gonna barf… I just smelt bob

Hey

get your cock washed today.

Clean up and we might have a play.

How many times I gotta to say.

Get a wash right away.

Cock wash, talkin' about the cock wash yeah!

Poo-oooh

Cock wash

Get that flannel rubbin'

Well I say

Keep clean, stop it really hummin'

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Polo you have far too much time on your hands

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Polo you have far too much time on your hands

I'm not rewriting Shakespeare... they're only a few minutes long

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No 88, House of BDSM Pain, Jump Around.

Stick it up, pack it in

You can begin

To put effort in

Layin’ still that’s a sin

You won't squash my sack up

Babe, curve ya’ back up

Now it’s in the hole don’t just lay there and slack up

Get up, grind up, come on

Come on, work a sweat up

If you've got the feeling, jump make it appealing

You wanna have a spunk-fest, someone's talking junk

Yo, you at least gotta try

Or you can fuck off back home

Feel it, funk it

Get your hips a pumpin’

I ain’t got the time if your gonna do nothin’

I’ll just stop

Sure 'nuff I got cock, come get your fill

Come on ride me on top

I came to get down

So get of your arse and jump around

Jump around

Jump up Jump up and push down.

Jump Jump Jump Jump

I'll fuck your ass if you’ll give it a go

If you shape up, Right now I dunno

Don’t be fuckin’ lazy, move about and go crazy

If I do all the work bitch you’re gonna have to pay me

Just laying on your back ain’t a turn on

Stayin’ like that , it’s no fun

You’ll be sorry if I give up and get gone

So if you want shagging move ya’ fat bum

But if you don’t your a fool, cause you’ll give ma’ tool dick death

Just fucking move, you ain’t even out of breath

I gots the skill, come get your fill

I can hold back my load and shoot it at will

I came to get down

So get of your arse and jump around

Jump around

Jump up Jump up and push down.

Jump Jump Jump Jump

Come and ride on my cock, straddle on top

I’ll never eat your minge if you’re just gonna flop

You better be a gyrator

Rub like cheese on a grater

Start thrusting now or you’re getting none later

You ain’t getting’ a drop of my spunk bitch

So get ya’ legs pumping make ya’ ass twitch

Go up up and around, then buck buck back down

Flat on the bed it’s like fucking Dawn of the Dead

I'm coming to get ya, coming to get ya

Spit on your clit ain’t how I wet ya

I came to get down

So get of your ass and jump around

Jump around

Jump up Jump up and push down.

Jump Jump Jump Jump

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No 87, Tina (didn't)Turn(up), Let's play Together.

I'm, I'm so pissed off with you

You said at half past two

You’d meet with me

'Cause you made me feel, in the mood

And I wanted to do something rude

Me sayin' since, baby, since we never got together

Blocking you forever

Is what I need

I won’t, be the one you come running to

Saying you’d meet was untrue

Ooo baby

Let's, let's not play together

I don’t care whether, whether

Ya’ profile’s good or bad, happy or sad

Why somebody, why don’t people turn up

Don’t message you and own up

I just can't seeeeeeeee

You went and did that to me

(Didn’t you baby)

Give you one more chance…. Not likely!

Let's, let's not pay together

I’m blocking you whether, whether

Times are good or bad, happy or sad

Let's, let’s not play together

Blocking you forever and ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg I'm crying here , polo they are fantastic

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No 86, 50 pence, In Da Club.

Go, go, go, go

Go, go, get dirty

'Cause it's your birthday

We gon’ party like it's yo birthday

We gon' do bukkake like it's your birthday

And you know we don't give a fuck

It's not your birthday!

You can find me in the club, wi’ ma’ fuck bud

Looking for some fun but not lookin’ for a sub

I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love

Might give you a tug when I want my fanny rubbed

You can find me in the club, wi’ ma’ fuck bud

Looking for some fun but not lookin’ for a sub

I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love

Come give my tits a rub if ya’ want ya’ willy tugged

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No 97, Knobhead O'Condom, Nothing Compare To Herpes.

It's been seven hours and fifteen days

Since you took your cock away

I go on cam every night and the same all day

Since you took your cock away

Since you been gone I can’t screw whoever I want

I can’t see whomever I choose

I could meet some geezer in his car may be for a quick wank

But nothing, I said nothing can protect these dudes

`Cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here

Like a vibe when the batteries have gone

Nothing can stop my saggy pants from falling

Tell me baby did you know what was wrong

I could put my arms around every boy I see

But they'd only get what I got off you

I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me

Guess what he told me

He said girl take these until they’re all gone

And use this ointment too

For a week or two

`Cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

All the swelling and the rash that you gave me, darlin’

Around my (wink) back yard

It cleared up and it went away

I know living with the flare-ups is sometimes hard

But I'm willing to give it another try

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

ROFPMSL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polo - you have GOT to put these into a book! Or did you nick them from one????

Only kidding - before you block me!!!!!!

mwaaaaaaaaaah!

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No 85, Long Bleed, Perfect Day! (sarcastic mix)...

Just a perfect day!

Had my first meet arranged

Made sure the sheets were changed, at my home

Just a perfect day!

Bought in a can or two

Even had condoms too, at my home

Oh such a perfect day!

Not when I tried to ring you

Answer the phone I pray

You just keep me hanging on

Just a perfect day!

You won’t pick up the phone

I’m sat here on my own

Yeah great fun!

Just a perfect day!

Left to play with myself

I bet you met someone else, fucking cunt!

Oh, it's such a perfect day!

I had a meet planned with you

Oh, such a perfect day!

You just keep me hanging on

You're going to reap just what you sow

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No84, the Pubic Lice remix of 9 to 5.

Tumble outta bed and I stumble to the kitchen

All of a sudden my crotch starts intchin’

Feels so bad I’m scratchin’ for my life

Jump in the shower and the blood starts pumpin'

Down in my pubes something start jumpin'

That dirty little bastard gave me pubic lice!

I got pubic lice, in my bush is where they’re livin'

Had a meet last night, was he takin' ‘em or givin'?

He knew all the time, just never fucking said it!

The itch will drive you crazy if you let it

9 to 5, that’s when the Chemists will be open

Now I’ve got to buy, a nit comb and some lotion

Bet my face turns red, if the Chemist starts to wave it

I swear from now on, I’m gonna have to shave it

I see them start movin’ and I feel queasy

The leaflet says the application’s easy

Ten minutes more and I’ll wash them all away

What about my bed where we both were sprawling

Vacuuming the mattress I bet it’s fucking crawlin’

Do I wash the sheets or just use fabreeze spray

I got pubic lice, in my bush is where they’re livin'

Had a meet last night, was he takin' ‘em or givin'?

He knew all the time, just never fucking said it!

The itch will drive you crazy if you let it

Pubic lice, yeah, gotta kill the eggs off

Tiny parasites, too small to pull the legs off

I should find that guy and meet again tomorrow

If someone’s got a shotgun I can borrow

I got pubic lice, in my bush is where they’re livin'

Had a meet last night, was he takin' ‘em or givin'?

He knew all the time, just never fucking said it!

The itch will drive you crazy if you let it

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No 83, The 'Arddick Spunkys, Mardy Bum.

Now then Mardy Bum

You came on to the forum

Coz you’ve had some photos done

And it goes off

And out come all these words

Is this really the side of you,

The ladies will prefer.

When they reply, with laughs and joke around

Remember who made them go looking

Yeah, to get things off the ground

You want feedback, or so you say

Oh, but it's right hard to remember

That on a day like today when you're all argumentative

And you've got the face on

Well now then Mardy Bum

Oh I'm in trouble again, aren't I?

I thought as much

Cause you’ve come out your cage

You can’t hide the disappointment

Sulk like someone half your age

Can't we laugh and joke around

Remember who made them go looking

Yeah, to get things off the ground

You want feedback, or so you say

Oh, but it's right hard to remember

That on a day like today when you're all argumentative

And you've got the face on

Yeah things aren’t looking great

This isn’t what you wanted

And your posts are tinged with hate

And I can't be arsed to carry on in this debate

That reoccurs, oh when you say I don't care

Well of course I do, yeah I clearly do!

So we laugh and joke around

Remember who made us go looking

Yeah, to get things off the ground

You want feedback, or so you say

Oh, but it's right hard to remember

That on a day like today when you're all argumentative

And you've got the face on

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

No 82..... It's the good ol' classic....

She'll be cumming like a fountain when she cums

She'll be cumming like a fountain, cumming like a fountain

She'll be cumming like a fountain

She'll be screaming like a banshee when she cums

She'll be screaming like a banshee, screaming like a banshee

She'll be screaming like a banshee when she cums

Oh, the guys get wet who meet her when she cums

Oh, the guys get wet who meet her, the guys get we who meet her

Oh, the guys get wet who meet her when she cums

She'll saturate your mattress when she cums

She'll saturate your mattress, saturate your mattress

She'll saturate your mattress when she cums

Use the sheet you got for Grandma when she comes

Use the sheet you got for Grandma, the sheet you got for Grandma

Use the sheet you got for Grandma when she comes

It’s too late to use a condom once you’ve cum

Now you both have gonorrhea and a rash that just won’t clear

With some nasty looking lesions ‘round ya’ bum

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Black Cock by DooShe Bag

I don't like it when you split me honey

Why'd you have to do that?

Tell me when you make these tears keep fallin'

Do you feel like a man?

Figure figure, there's no wearing you out what'soever

Only one way I could sum you up all together

You got a black cock

Daddy I've fallen for a monster

Somehow it’s scaring me to death

Ah yes it is!

It's big and it’s fat

I love it like that

Mamma it's the best I ever had

Daddy I've fallen for a monster

He got a black cock

My vagina walls are throbbing honey

And something might have split

A dick like yours is lethal honey

So big it barely fit

Ahh, thicker, thicker, I ain't feeling others what'soever

I’m sore but still I want it more than ever

You've got a black cock

Daddy I've fallen for a monster

Somehow it's scaring me to death

Yeah!

It's big and it’s fat

I love it like that

Mamma it's the biggest I ever had

Oh... Yes it is

Daddy I've fallen for a monster

He got a black cock

He got such a dirty black cock on him

Ain't it girls (yeah)

I love it like mad

Ohh yes I do

He got a black cock

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

You're the one that I want - from Chip Fat.

Got diet pills and really trying

To get my weight under control

Now you’re meeting other women

I’ve started slimmin’

I better shape up 'cause I need a man

And my heart is set on you

I better shape up, you better understand

I’ll be coming after you

Once I’ve lost, once I’ve lost a stone or two

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Ho, ho, ho honey

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Ho, ho, ho honey

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Ho, ho, ho, the one that I need

Oh yes indeed

Got to make a slight confession

I check your status, everyday

You could say it’s an obsession

To get my way

I better shape up, 'cause I need a man

I need a man who can keep me satisfied

I better shape up, if I'm gonna prove

I better prove, I could be the ideal bride

Not just a meet and some no strings on the side

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Ho, ho, ho honey

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Ho, ho, ho honey

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Ho, ho, ho, the one that I need

Oh yes indeed

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Ho, ho, ho honey

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Ho, ho, ho honey

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Ho, ho, ho, the one that I need

Oh yes indeed

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Ho, ho, ho honey

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Ho, ho, ho honey

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Ho, ho, ho, the one that I need

Oh yes indeed

You're the one that I want

You are the one I want

Ho, ho, ho honey

You're the one that I want!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks! Good job I was reading this on the loo - that's all i'll say!

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

At 79 it's Bohemian Single's Rhapsody.

Is this your real wife?

Is this your fantasy?

Wanted a gangbang

The only guy who turned up was me

I opened her thighs

And spat on her dry fanny

Being a kind lad, gave her one out of sympathy,

But I was quick to cum, so I could go,

Didn’t let my wincing show,

I’ll shag any gash hole, it doesn't really matter to me, to me

Bugga’

I just killed the plan,

Put my bum against her head, pulled my finger

On the bed

Bugga’... the meet had just begun,

But now I've gone and blown it all away

Buggaaaaa oooh,

I didn’t mean to make her cry

She won’t be back again this time tomorrow,

Now she’s gone, I’ll move on, oops the bed has tiny splatters

New sheets, my next meet has come,

Not bad for 59, body's sagging but it’s fine

I’ll try get a hard on, give it a go,

May be take her from behind, face out of view

Buggaaaaa oooh, (Away the wind blows)

It’s that dodgy chips and pie,

It’s repeating bad and don’t smell right at all

(Guitar solo)

I see a little strap-on in her handbag

Should I douche? Should I douche? Or pray my bowels don’t let go!

Feel my sphincter tightening, very, very frightening me!

Gonna blow, gonna blow

Gonna blow and let one go – Oh bloody no!

Don’t pull the strap-on out, babe listen, trust me

If you pull the strap-on out, there’ll be a catastrophe!

God help me hold in this monstrosity!

Should I run, I dunno, I’ve really gotta go

Bowel movement NO! I will not let you go

(Let it go!) Bowel movement NO! I will not let you go

(Let it go) Will not let you go

(Let it go) Oh my god I’m gonna blow

(Let it go) Never let it go (Let it go)

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let it go

Beelzebub, pull the duvet to one side for me, for me,

for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Sorry babe, couldn’t stop, did some spray in your eyes?

Get a cloth, rub it down, it will stain if it dries.

Oh, baby, this diarrhoea has gone crazy

It just blew out, exploding right out of my rear!

(Guitar solo)

Look at all the splatters, anyone can see,

Look at all the splatters

Will you still be verifying me?...

Anyway the wind blows...

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

in at a number not taken yet.... Fisting Houston...

A few stolen moments is all that we share

You've got your needs , and they take you there

Though I've tried to resist,

I just need you to fist right upto your wrist.

Cos no other man's gonna do

So I'm saving all my lube for you...

It's not very easy, doing it alone,...

My friends try and tell me, get a vibe of my own

But each time I try, It just breaks down through use ...

Cause I'd rather be home feeling youoouu...

So I'm saving all my lube for you...

You used to tell me we'd rub away together ....

Lube gives the right to feel free ...

You said you'd insert it just a little longer ...

But that's just a fantasy.

I've got to get ready, just a few minutes more

Gonna get that old feeling when you walk through that door

For tonight is the night, for feeling all tight ,

We'll be fistting ...the whole night throughhhh

So I'm saving all my lube for you.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A brief snippet of the original lyrics to Carly Rae's 'Call Me'

Hey, I just met you,

And you're a lady,

So here's the kitchen,

On the table baby!!

Now I've just fucked you,

And this is crazy!

Delete my number,

And keep the baby!!

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

A new entry by the fuckmees ... Licking me softly...

I heard he was a good shag I heard he had a style .... And so I took them back to mine, And there he was this young boy a toy before my eyes....

Strumming my clit with his fingers , flicking my slit with his tongue, lickng me softly with his tongue, filllling me softly with his tongue Touching my hole with his tongue touchling me softly with his tongue

I felt all flushed with fever ,, Embarrassed by the crowd I closed my eyes and hoped it would last a while,

I ffelt around for more cock And touched each one I could ,

I prayed that he would finish with it still in glove

And then this young boy came into my eyes,... Giving me a facial with his jizz... Giving me his whole load ,

I asked this young boy to fill me deep inside,

flillng me softly with his jizz.. filling my hole filling my hole with his jizz ,..

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By *acktilMan
over a year ago

Tewkesbury

"No 97, Knobhead O'Condom, Nothing Compare To Herpes.

It's been seven hours and fifteen days

Since you took your cock away

I go on cam every night and the same all day

Since you took your cock away

Since you been gone I can’t screw whoever I want

I can’t see whomever I choose

I could meet some geezer in his car may be for a quick wank

But nothing, I said nothing can protect these dudes

`Cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here

Like a vibe when the batteries have gone

Nothing can stop my saggy pants from falling

Tell me baby did you know what was wrong

I could put my arms around every boy I see

But they'd only get what I got off you

I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me

Guess what he told me

He said girl take these until they’re all gone

And use this ointment too

For a week or two

`Cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

All the swelling and the rash that you gave me, darlin’

Around my (wink) back yard

It cleared up and it went away

I know living with the flare-ups is sometimes hard

But I'm willing to give it another try

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

"
Coffee and key boards never a good mix

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

It's Jizz E with 99 Problems.

If you're having thrush problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but an itch ain't one

I got photos approved which get removed

A stalker trying to get m’profile closed

My message box is full of no’s

Phone veri’s don’t count so I can’t get those

Can’t go on cam, gotta zit on m’nose

You'd celebrate the minute you was having head

If you’d had the same void of women in your bed

Even TV’s turn me down, must be somethin’ I said

Got johnnys out of date about 30 or so

Should have known bulk buy was a waste of dough

Still want to try and bum a black ass

But don’t want to pay in the private ads...fuckers

I don't know what the ladies take me as

or understand the desperation a single has

I'm not paying a prozzie, coz I ain’t dumb

I got 99 problems but an itch ain't one

Hit me

99 Problems but a itch ain't one

If you having thrush problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but an itch ain't one

Hit me

Bet I’ll be 94 when my cock is raw

When I finally can’t wank anymore

I got two choices delete account or

Take a piccie of my cock with m’pants on the floor

Send messages and ask for pity’s sake

Plus used caps lock to write in UPPERCASE

So they can’t not see what I wrote

And I heard "Son do you know what I’m blocking you for?"

Cause I'm young and I’m hot and my cock’s real low

Do I look like a mind reader babe, I don't know

Have I got your interest or should I guess some more?

"Your profile says 29 but now you’re not even 24"

“You asked to see photos of me in a bra"

"Are you after wank material I know a lot of you are"

I’m thinking ‘oh shit’ all my profile’s legit

Must have been wanking and the wrong age hit

Well I’d love to see your tits and your fanny crack

So come on gal get ya’ cam on for that

"Aren't you a pushy feck, are you some type of wanker or something?"

"Or some wanna be try’na fake it or something?"

Nah I ain't had a meet but I know a little bit

Enough that I won’t accidently fuck your shit

"Well see how smart you are with a dildo up your bum"

I got 99 problems but an itch ain't one

Hit me

99 Problems but a itch ain't one

If you having thrush problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but an itch ain't one

Hit me

Now once upon a time not too long ago

I had to message half the site just to get a ‘thanks no’

What I gotta do to get a bit of pussy

Or at least a TV to come over and suck me

I tried everything and get bored

Pray for sex, cause I want to perform

Wanna make her moan loud as a motor bike

Even if her flange ain’t that tight

The only thing that's gonna happen from the keyboard tapping

Is some old bint who’s happy just yapping

And there I go trapped in the ping pong again

Back and forth message with the riff raff again

Balls in my hand shaving again

Just in case a lady gets close to them

Am I just gonna sit and wank my shaft again

Wish I and the cock of an African

Couples keep sayin’ I’m harrassin' them

Trying to turn ‘um on when I’m flashing them

But ain't nothing sweet 'bout how I hold my gun

I got 99 problems but being an itch ain't one

Hit me

99 Problems but a itch ain't one

If you having thrush problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but an itch ain't one

Hit me

You're crazy for this hard dick

It's your boy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Truly, truly awesome!

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"Truly, truly awesome!

Thank you...... I accept payment in kind

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Arse Jelly and 'I believe I can lie'

I used to think that I could not go on

And my swinging life was almost done

But now I no long need to be alarmed

I’m relying on some everlasting charms

If I pretend to be it, then I can do it

If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can lie

I believe I get another try

I think about it every night and day

What can I make up today

I believe I can get more

Let ‘em in like an open door

I believe I can lie

See I was on the verge of breaking down

Sometimes silence can seem so loud

There are miracles in life I must achieve

The first is get a Super time machine

If I can say it, then I can be it

If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can lie

I believe I get another try

I think about it every night and day

What can I make up today

I believe I can get more

Let ‘em in like an open door

I believe I can lie

Hey, cause theybelieve in me, oh

If I can type it, then I can do it (I can do it)

If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can lie

I believe I get another try

I think about it every night and day

What can I make up today

I believe I can get more

Let ‘em in like an open door

I believe I can lie

Hey, if I stretch the truth

I can lie

I can lie, hey

If I just stretch the truth

I can lie-eye-eye-eye

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Ex-Army Cunt, Goodbye My Rubber.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?

'Cause I’d shot my load before we'd begun,

Yes I saw some tits and wanted fun.

So I took a chance, ‘you free tonight’?.

She kept me keen and said she might.

I was wearing you when I got there,

I was ready with you, I did prepare.

You covered my cock, not fully unrolled.

I jizzed before I reached her hole.

And now I think the chance has gone,

I only thought to bring the one.

I've kissed her lips and held her hand.

But it’s all I got to do.

I know too well, my jizz will smell.

I’ve got to flush you down the loo.

Goodbye my rubber.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

Goodbye my rubber.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

Since bought in ‘93.

If she fell asleep and didn't wake,

Under a tap my used Johnny I take.

But it’s time to move on, remember me,

Remember us and when I cum in thee

I've seen you wrapped, I've seen you unroll.

I wanted to watch you go in someone’s hole.

I've been the filler of your tip.

Now I’m soft you start to slip.

I know you were slightly loose on mine.

We've had our doubts but now we're fine,

And I needed you, I swear that's true.

I cannot shag without you.

Goodbye my rubber.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me

Goodbye my rubber.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one since 1993.

And I still hold you in this hand of mine.

In my mind when I'm asleep.

And I will flush you better next time,

Not dripping jizz out on the seat.

Goodbye my rubber.

Goodbye my friend.

You have been the one.

You have been the one for me.

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

U24U (the couple's account) singing.... With or Without You

See the mischief in my eyes

As my hand slips up your thighs

And I ask you

Would you like an extra mate

In our bed wouldn’t it be great

I could swing without you

With or without you

Don’t be such a frigid bore

I got you but I want more

I’m not waiting for you

With or without you

I can swing

With or without you

We could get a meet today

We could get

We could get a meet today

My hands are tied

My body bruised, she's got me with

The kitchen broom and

Now she’s moved

And now she’s gone away

And you live

At your mum’s in Conwy Bay

Guess it’s without you

I can swing

As a single without you

With or without you

I can swing

With or without you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Priceless!! You should've done the Olympic Opening ceremony instead of Macca!

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

The MANkys with... I'm a Cock Teaser

I know this bird has taken in some other males

She might fool someone else but won’t fool me

She was out to shag me

That's the way it seemed

Disappointment ended all my dreams

Then I asked her home, now I'm a believer

Not a trace of doubt in my mind

I'm rock hard, and she’s a cock teaser

I couldn't feel her if I tried

I thought a shag was more or less a given thing

Seems the more I paid the less I got

What's the use in trying?

All you get is strain

And inside my pants is a nasty stain

Then I asked her home, now I'm a believer

Not a trace of doubt in my mind

I'm rock hard, and she’s a cock teaser

I couldn't feel her if I tried

She was out to shag me

That's the way it seemed

Disappointment ended all my dreams

Then I asked her home, now I'm a believer

Not a trace of doubt in my mind

I'm rock hard, and she’s a cock teaser

I couldn't feel her if I tried

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

The (Jeremy Kyle) Specials - Too Much Too Young

You've done too much

much too young

Now your kids have different dads

From the pick-a-daddy lottery

oh no, no gimme no more pickni

You've done too much

much too young

Now you're going down to London

So you can pick one on TV

we don't want, we don't want

we don't want results to pick me

Ain't he cute?

Look this way

I’d rather not until we’ve done

The DNA

You've done too much

much too young

Now you're looking for a muppet

To take responsibility

Just gimme, just gimme just gimme results Jeremy

That guy’s immature

This one’s a poser

The best of the 3 said he doesn’t even know ya

Don't want to be rich

Don't want to be famous

But I'd hate my kids to have the same name as you

(you silly moo)

You've done too much

much too young

Now you're really fucked

The DNA shows the daddy‘s not me

gi we de birth control, we no want no pickni

You've done too much

much too young

Now the stage looks pretty bare

Once the tests came up negatively

oh no, the CSA ain’t bothering me

Ain’t you grasped the realisation

Jizzing on your tits ain’t impregnation

Is it beyond your comprehension

Say it all you like it still won’t make it true

Now the show’s done we’re through

I am so fucking glad

Pick someone else as the dad.

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Ooops nearly forgot to add this one:

Dusting Timberlake - Clean With Me....

Don't be so quick to squirt your spray

Clean with me

I wanna wax your sideboard

Please stay

Clean with me

You don't have to admit you wanna play

Clean with me

Just let me wash you

Till the break of day

Clean with me

Got blinds, well I don't mind

Venetian or vertical

I'll dust whatever you have

Remove every particle

See I've been washing you

And I like the way you move

So go ahead, IO, just do

That Vax shaking thing you do

So you grab your sponge

And you grab a couple more

And you all come meet me

In the middle of the floor

Said the Flash is thick, it's smelling right

So you sweep to the left and you mop to the right

Don't be so quick to squirt your spray

Clean with me

I wanna wax your sideboard

Please stay

Clean with me

You don't have to admit you wanna play

Clean with me

Just let me wash you

Till the break of day

Clean with me

I don't mean no harm

Just wanna use this Vim

Make a move, but be calm

Let's sanitise the bin

See it appears to me

You like the way I vacuum

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do

Change your sheets and clean the bedroom

So you grab your sponge

And you grab a couple more

And you all come meet me

In the middle of the floor

Said the Flash is thick, it's smelling right

So you sweep to the left and you mop to the right

Don't be so quick to squirt your spray

Clean with me

I wanna wax your sideboard

Please stay

Clean with me

You don't have to admit you wanna play

Clean with me

Just let me wash you

Till the break of day

Clean with me

Talk to me boy

No rinsing yet, I don't mean no harm

Talk to me boy

Watch the soap suds drip down my arms

Talk to me boy

Hurry up cause you're taking too long

Talk to me boy

Better have you naked by the end of this song

So what did you scrub for

I came to scrub with you

And you know that you want to polish the floor

I came to damp dust with you

You're searching for hygienic decor

It's time to get a broom

If crumbs get on the floor

Hey …. clean with me

Yeah…. come on baby

Are you feeling me?

Let's do something

Let's make the bed

Cause I gotta have you naked by the end of this song

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

Best thread ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These are brilliant and like me bet most were singing them in their head or trying to remember the tune.

Bloody well done. LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Best thread ever

This /\

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By *he_original_polo OP Woman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

BLURred - Fablife

Cock pics are the preference for the habitual voyeur

Of what is known as

Fablife

And morning glory can be avoided

If you take a route straight to a gapping predator mouth posing as a gash

Fablife

John's got brewers droop he gets intimidated

By the dirty TV’s, they love a bit of him

Fablife

Who's that newbie posting?

You should cut down on your parklife mate, get a real life

All the people

So many people

They all give up and wank

Not got a meet planned Fablife

Know what I mean?

I login when I want, which would be every waking moment

If the missus would just take the kids out

Fablife

I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea

And I take them off again, in the chatroom

Fablife

I message All the locals and sometimes send winks too

It gives me a sense of enormous well-being

Fablife

And then I'm happy for the rest of the day safe in the knowledge

There won’t be one single reply worth reading

All the people

So many people

Thank god for their right hand

Cock in hand through their Fablife

Fablife

It's got nothing to do with

Vorsprung durch cock size you know

Fablife

And it's not about you doggers

Who drive round and round and round

Fablife

All the people

So many people

Thank god for their right hand

Cock in hand through their Fablife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A rear entry from Rusty Bollocks "Suck on my Dong"

I get the same wet dreams,

Same time every night.

She's sucking me off

and I wake up.

So I turn to her say please,

Will you suck off my cheese,

She says yes if it's Stilton.

These balls are expanding quick,

Wont you suck off my dick....

Suck on my dong, suck on my dong,

Put your tongue round the head and soak it.

Could I be wrong but now you're sucking my dong,

You could take it all in and deep throat it.

ohh, whoa, ohh Suck on my dong

So in the buff I stand, with my cock in hand,

Wishing you were here to fellate me.

I could watch some plastic porns,

listen to the fake groans and moans,

But the thought don't excite me.

These balls are expanding quick

Wish you were here to suck off my dick.

Wanking my dong, wanking my dong

browsing all the hot pics on Fabswingers

Could I be wrong but cos you still haven't sucked on my dong,

I'm now willing to consider some mingers

Ohh whoa ohh will you suck on my dong.

If you don't respond then baby I'll just blow my load on my keyboard....

Oh suck on my dong, suck on my dong,

Put your tongue round the head and soak it.

Could I be wrong but now you're sucking my dong,

You could take it all in and deep throat it

ohh, whoa, ohh Suck on my dong

repeat chorus ad ejaculatum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No 97, Knobhead O'Condom, Nothing Compare To Herpes.

It's been seven hours and fifteen days

Since you took your cock away

I go on cam every night and the same all day

Since you took your cock away

Since you been gone I can’t screw whoever I want

I can’t see whomever I choose

I could meet some geezer in his car may be for a quick wank

But nothing, I said nothing can protect these dudes

`Cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here

Like a vibe when the batteries have gone

Nothing can stop my saggy pants from falling

Tell me baby did you know what was wrong

I could put my arms around every boy I see

But they'd only get what I got off you

I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me

Guess what he told me

He said girl take these until they’re all gone

And use this ointment too

For a week or two

`Cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

All the swelling and the rash that you gave me, darlin’

Around my (wink) back yard

It cleared up and it went away

I know living with the flare-ups is sometimes hard

But I'm willing to give it another try

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

Parklife!

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By *hunderstarCouple
over a year ago

hereford

I've only just seen this thread - biggest smiles I've had all day. You've got a real talent - thanks for the laughs!

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