FabSwingers.com forum: It's bad joke time!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was working in asda stacking washing up powder, and all of a sudden a woman I was talking too online came up to me and said "You liar! You told me you was in the red arrows!"

I replied "No! I told you was on the ariel display team!"

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'm smirking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nowhereman needs to up his game, there’s a new guy in town.

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By *lipy123TV/TS
over a year ago

Birmingham

Lol like it

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

These are some of my favourites

Which bear is the most condescending? A pan-duh!

What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make? Brrrroooom, brrroooom.

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.

How do you get a country girl’s attention? A tractor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scottish man, English man and an Irish man walk into a bar, and on approaching the bar the landlord shouts at them. Is this a fucking joke!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like it OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A lion a witch and a wardrobe go to a club. The doorman goes "None of your names are on the list. Narnia are getting in!"

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Dam!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Like it OP "

Glad you enjoyed sweetie

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

Two goldfish in a tank, one says, "well can YOU drive this thing?"

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

What do you call a septic cat?

Pus

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Two parrots stood on a perch and one says "Can you smell fish?"

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By *ugga MannMan
over a year ago

Heathrow

Two elephants fall off a cliff. Boom boom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk

I'll get my coat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bojo and trump jumps off a 100ft bridge. Who wins?

Society

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By *iking-RaiderMan
over a year ago

suffolk

My 4 year old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word please

Which I think is poor for four!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won an award once for being a scarecrow....I was outstanding in my field!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I won an award once for being a scarecrow....I was outstanding in my field!!"

Hahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Boris Johnson.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My 4 year old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word please

Which I think is poor for four!"

made me laugh!!!

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

What makes a joke a 'dad joke'?

When it becomes apparent.

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By *ostonJoeMan
over a year ago

Boston

"My 4 year old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word please

Which I think is poor for four!"

Was this a Dave Allen joke? It's a good one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had 2 fish and I named them 1 & 2 so when 1 died I still had 2

Terrible I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a Mexican carpet fitter ????

Underlay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My 4 year old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word please

Which I think is poor for four!"

Por favor ¿

Que!

I’m saving this one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the grape say when it was crushed?

Nothing. It let out a little wine

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By *ancsduoCouple
over a year ago

Morecambe

Family driving behind a bin truck when a dildo hits the window screen..embarrassed,the mum says to young son,don't worry,it was just an insect...

Boy replies,jeez,wonder how it flies with a cock that big.

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By *iking-RaiderMan
over a year ago

suffolk

"My 4 year old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word please

Which I think is poor for four!

Was this a Dave Allen joke? It's a good one. "

I'm not sure I only heard it today at work but I did have a giggle at it haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm shit at telling jokes. I always punch up the fuck line

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says: "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to the hospital after an accident and tried to park on the car park...attendant says it was for badge holders only...I told him it was ok...I had a bad shoulder...

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Q: Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?

A: Because the 'p' is silent

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By *eviant KnightMan
over a year ago

Norton

See current status

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By *onkyLemonsCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Why do secret agents always get a good nights sleep?

Because they’re always undercover!

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

I got shouted at by a car park attendant for parking in a disabled parking bay. "You can't park there, you're not disabled", he shouted.

"Yes I am",I shouted back, "I've got fucking Tourettes, so fuck off, you fucking cunt, before I fucking twat you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Family walks into a hotel and the father says to the concierge "I hope the porn is disabled"

The concierge replies "No, it's just regular porn you sick fuck!"

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By *uvhandle20Man
over a year ago

SE London

Why is Gandalf a bad football manager?

You shall not pass!

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Q: What's got four legs and one arm?

A: A Rottweiler.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Which cheese should you use to attract a bear?

Camembert

Which cheese should you use to hide a horse?

Mascarpone

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”

George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”

Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?"

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By *ooBulMan
over a year ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Sex operator: "Mmmm tell me what you're wearing."

Eskimo: "Everything I own basically."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's Zelda's favourite band ?

Link in Park

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

After death, what is the only organ in a woman's body that remains warm?

My knob!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to an open air cafe yesterday and it started to rain heavily.It took me four hours to eat my soup.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A blind man walks into a shop and starts swinging his guide dog around his head,

"Can i help you?" Said the shopkeeper

"Its ok" the blind man says "i'm just having a look around"

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I judged a beauty contest once and the contestants were very competitive.

Contestant 1 came up to me and said "If you let me win I'll give you a cuddle".

Contestant 2 cornered me and said "If you let me win I'll give you a big kiss".

Contestant 3 came to me and said "If you let me win I'll give you a big kiss and press my body up against you".

In the end contestant 38 won.

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By *oungAtHeartCurvyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

It takes a big man to admit he's wrong but an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut

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By *emma HoldenTV/TS
over a year ago

Ramsey

How do you circumcise a redneck Trump voter?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

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