FabSwingers.com forum: How many ducks would it take to kill a fully grown rhino?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Just one of it got stuck in it's throat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are they horse sized ducks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

300

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I read the title of this thread before seeing who posted and immediately thought " Queenie " .

Dont ask me why

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Are they horse sized ducks?"

No they’re duck sized ducks

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

The answer btw is 1.

The Rhino chases a single duck across the plains of the Serengeti and slips into a lake full of hungry crocodiles who then devour said Rhino for lunch .

So yes , 1

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By *unkym34Man
over a year ago

London

Duck off lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The answer btw is 1.

The Rhino chases a single duck across the plains of the Serengeti and slips into a lake full of hungry crocodiles who then devour said Rhino for lunch .

So yes , 1

But then it wasnt the duck that killed the Rhino.. it was the crocs..

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside

"Are they horse sized ducks?

No they’re duck sized ducks"

Have they been on any animal handling courses or taken martial arts lessons? I'd think they wouldn't need much, rhino has crap eyesight so probably wouldn't even see the duck till it was too late.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"The answer btw is 1.

The Rhino chases a single duck across the plains of the Serengeti and slips into a lake full of hungry crocodiles who then devour said Rhino for lunch .

So yes , 1

But then it wasnt the duck that killed the Rhino.. it was the crocs.. "

Ah yes but technically if the Rhino wasnt chasing 1 Duck it wouldn't have been there in the first place . So the Duck caused its death . And because the Rhino was fucking thick as shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are they mallard or wellard ducks?

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.

A lot.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

" Are they mallard or wellard ducks? "

Ei-der-nt know

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Again 1.

This time a duck is one of these..The DUKW (colloquially known as Duck) is a six-wheel-drive amphibious modification of the ?2 1/2-ton CCKW trucks used by the U.S. military during World War II and the Korean War.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At least 2, but according to my boss they would all need to be in a row first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" "

A quackers notion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The answer btw is 1.

The Rhino chases a single duck across the plains of the Serengeti and slips into a lake full of hungry crocodiles who then devour said Rhino for lunch .

So yes , 1

But then it wasnt the duck that killed the Rhino.. it was the crocs..

Ah yes but technically if the Rhino wasnt chasing 1 Duck it wouldn't have been there in the first place . So the Duck caused its death . And because the Rhino was fucking thick as shit

Dearest Fuck Nug.. i shall agree to disagree.. :D

Crocs killed the fecking Rhino

I have been pondering this far to long to see how ducks would actually kill a Rhino or work as a collective to do so. Their skin is so thick, a duck isnt a carnivore.. and like wise the Rhino wouldnt eat the duck to ch-oke on it..

hmmmm

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"The answer btw is 1.

The Rhino chases a single duck across the plains of the Serengeti and slips into a lake full of hungry crocodiles who then devour said Rhino for lunch .

So yes , 1

But then it wasnt the duck that killed the Rhino.. it was the crocs..

Ah yes but technically if the Rhino wasnt chasing 1 Duck it wouldn't have been there in the first place . So the Duck caused its death . And because the Rhino was fucking thick as shit

Dearest Fuck Nug.. i shall agree to disagree.. :D

Crocs killed the fecking Rhino

hmmmm

You are overthinking it way too much my dear . As usual my answer was just random bollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The answer btw is 1.

The Rhino chases a single duck across the plains of the Serengeti and slips into a lake full of hungry crocodiles who then devour said Rhino for lunch .

So yes , 1

But then it wasnt the duck that killed the Rhino.. it was the crocs..

Ah yes but technically if the Rhino wasnt chasing 1 Duck it wouldn't have been there in the first place . So the Duck caused its death . And because the Rhino was fucking thick as shit

Dearest Fuck Nug.. i shall agree to disagree.. :D

Crocs killed the fecking Rhino

hmmmm

You are overthinking it way too much my dear . As usual my answer was just random bollocks

Think i am sleep deprived.. sit with me and stroke my hair

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

"The answer btw is 1.

The Rhino chases a single duck across the plains of the Serengeti and slips into a lake full of hungry crocodiles who then devour said Rhino for lunch .

So yes , 1

But then it wasnt the duck that killed the Rhino.. it was the crocs..

Ah yes but technically if the Rhino wasnt chasing 1 Duck it wouldn't have been there in the first place . So the Duck caused its death . And because the Rhino was fucking thick as shit

Dearest Fuck Nug.. i shall agree to disagree.. :D

Crocs killed the fecking Rhino

hmmmm

What if it was a suicidal duck that dressed up like a cabbage?

Rhino's love cabbages, so it'd gobble up the duck and possibly ch-oke.

It's not a guarantee that it would die though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What if it was a suicidal duck that dressed up like a cabbage?

Rhino's love cabbages, so it'd gobble up the duck and possibly ch-oke.

It's not a guarantee that it would die though. "

A duck wouldnt have the mental capacity to think that way though would it?

just actually youtubed a clip of a rhino eating and unsure if a whole duck would fit in there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Based on averaged measurements: a duck can lift 250g, a white think weighs 2.3 tonnes. Therefore it would take 9,200 ducks to lift a think away and drop it somewhere

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"The answer btw is 1.

The Rhino chases a single duck across the plains of the Serengeti and slips into a lake full of hungry crocodiles who then devour said Rhino for lunch .

So yes , 1

But then it wasnt the duck that killed the Rhino.. it was the crocs..

Ah yes but technically if the Rhino wasnt chasing 1 Duck it wouldn't have been there in the first place . So the Duck caused its death . And because the Rhino was fucking thick as shit

Dearest Fuck Nug.. i shall agree to disagree.. :D

Crocs killed the fecking Rhino

hmmmm

You are overthinking it way too much my dear . As usual my answer was just random bollocks

Think i am sleep deprived.. sit with me and stroke my hair

Sounds a plan

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

What if it was a suicidal duck that dressed up like a cabbage?

Rhino's love cabbages, so it'd gobble up the duck and possibly ch-oke.

It's not a guarantee that it would die though.

A duck wouldnt have the mental capacity to think that way though would it?

just actually youtubed a clip of a rhino eating and unsure if a whole duck would fit in there

Ffs

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Cute N Sassy you are right when you say ducks aren't carnivores (only eats meat); as domestic ducks are typically herbivores (only eats plants).

This is different for wild ducks, as they are omnivores (meat and plant eaters/eat-alls). So to say ducks in the wild don't eat meat or fish is not true, albeit smaller critters.

This is typical of some ducks' diet in the wild:

Small fish.

Fish eggs.

Crayfish.

Frogs.

Tadpoles.

Grass.

Leaves.

Seeds.

Grain.

Wheat.

Insects.

Berries.

Fruits.

Nuts.

Pebbles.

Small shells.

Grit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Based on averaged measurements: a duck can lift 250g, a white think weighs 2.3 tonnes. Therefore it would take 9,200 ducks to lift a think away and drop it somewhere

yeah thats fine but how would you then get all 9,200 ducks to lift a Rhino.. it would be impossible.. only get a hundred or so duck beaks and thats if they all had the same idea at the same point...

but by the time the Rhino tipped he'd simply squish said ducks under the weight of its body..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cute N Sassy you are right when you say ducks aren't carnivores (only eats meat); as domestic ducks are typically herbivores (only eats plants).

This is different for wild ducks, as they are omnivores (meat and plant eaters/eat-alls). So to say ducks in the wild don't eat meat or fish is not true, albeit smaller critters.

This is typical of some ducks' diet in the wild:

Small fish.

Fish eggs.

Crayfish.

Frogs.

Tadpoles.

Grass.

Leaves.

Seeds.

Grain.

Wheat.

Insects.

Berries.

Fruits.

Nuts.

Pebbles.

Small shells.

Grit."

I didnt see Rhino on the menu though

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Duck hides, trips rhino up (rhinos are v short sighted), rhino gets bad concussion and sadly dies.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

You do have some strange thoughts, Queenie.

I'd say a standard 300lb high-explosive duck delivered at 300mph would do it in one hit.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Based on averaged measurements: a duck can lift 250g, a white think weighs 2.3 tonnes. Therefore it would take 9,200 ducks to lift a think away and drop it somewhere

yeah thats fine but how would you then get all 9,200 ducks to lift a Rhino.. it would be impossible.. only get a hundred or so duck beaks and thats if they all had the same idea at the same point...

but by the time the Rhino tipped he'd simply squish said ducks under the weight of its body..

You've really researched this ain't ya

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"Duck hides, trips rhino up (rhinos are v short sighted), rhino gets bad concussion and sadly dies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What if they peck his eyes out so he can’t see and he starves to death?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Based on averaged measurements: a duck can lift 250g, a white think weighs 2.3 tonnes. Therefore it would take 9,200 ducks to lift a think away and drop it somewhere

yeah thats fine but how would you then get all 9,200 ducks to lift a Rhino.. it would be impossible.. only get a hundred or so duck beaks and thats if they all had the same idea at the same point...

but by the time the Rhino tipped he'd simply squish said ducks under the weight of its body..

You stack your ducks obviously

The first layer grabs the rhino, the next layer grabs the first layer of ducks, etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only 1 it’s darkwing duck lol

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I’m having visions of squadrons of valiant ducks dive bombing kamikaze style into a nonchalant Rhino

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

A duck do

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

I didn't see Rhino on the menu though

That's because it's still being discussed in South Africa...SOUTH AFRICA: Rhino Meat Proposed To Be Sold to Public for Consumption - Discover Africa

Rhino Meat Proposed To Be Sold to Public for Consumption

Johannesburg – The government has proposed changes to South Africa’s meat safety legislation, suggesting that threatened species such as rhinos, elephants and giraffes end up on dinner plates.

The Department of Agriculture, Land Reform and Rural Development (DALRRD) has already received about 30000 comments before the deadline on Tuesday, it revealed in an answer to a recent parliamentary question on its draft amendment to the Meat Safety Act (MSA).

In February, it proposed expanding the 35 “domesticated animals” and “wild game species”, the commercial slaughter of which is already regulated under the MSA to a new list of more than 90 local and non-indigenous species, including rhinos, hippos, giraffes and elephants, as well as “all other species of animals not mentioned above, including birds, fish and reptiles that may be slaughtered as food for human and animal consumption”.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Based on averaged measurements: a duck can lift 250g, a white think weighs 2.3 tonnes. Therefore it would take 9,200 ducks to lift a think away and drop it somewhere

yeah thats fine but how would you then get all 9,200 ducks to lift a Rhino.. it would be impossible.. only get a hundred or so duck beaks and thats if they all had the same idea at the same point...

but by the time the Rhino tipped he'd simply squish said ducks under the weight of its body..

You stack your ducks obviously

The first layer grabs the rhino, the next layer grabs the first layer of ducks, etc

'grabs'.. when the feck did a duck have hands LVM?lol

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

What if it was a suicidal duck that dressed up like a cabbage?

Rhino's love cabbages, so it'd gobble up the duck and possibly ch-oke.

It's not a guarantee that it would die though.

A duck wouldnt have the mental capacity to think that way though would it?

just actually youtubed a clip of a rhino eating and unsure if a whole duck would fit in there

Ducks are evil.

I wouldn't put anything past them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Based on averaged measurements: a duck can lift 250g, a white think weighs 2.3 tonnes. Therefore it would take 9,200 ducks to lift a think away and drop it somewhere

yeah thats fine but how would you then get all 9,200 ducks to lift a Rhino.. it would be impossible.. only get a hundred or so duck beaks and thats if they all had the same idea at the same point...

but by the time the Rhino tipped he'd simply squish said ducks under the weight of its body..

You stack your ducks obviously

The first layer grabs the rhino, the next layer grabs the first layer of ducks, etc

'grabs'.. when the feck did a duck have hands LVM?lol

Their beaks! Must I think of everything Sassy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Based on averaged measurements: a duck can lift 250g, a white think weighs 2.3 tonnes. Therefore it would take 9,200 ducks to lift a think away and drop it somewhere

yeah thats fine but how would you then get all 9,200 ducks to lift a Rhino.. it would be impossible.. only get a hundred or so duck beaks and thats if they all had the same idea at the same point...

but by the time the Rhino tipped he'd simply squish said ducks under the weight of its body..

You stack your ducks obviously

The first layer grabs the rhino, the next layer grabs the first layer of ducks, etc

'grabs'.. when the feck did a duck have hands LVM?lol

Their beaks! Must I think of everything Sassy?

Im sleep deprived haha

Still saw the plan is flawed and you'd end up with duck pancakes..

o0o0o duck pancakes.. mmmmmmmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One down it’s gullet two up the nose job done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

few rhinos on here with the horn ask them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Easy one.

Freeze the duck and aim at said rhinos head. Job done.

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By *addawgyCouple
over a year ago

leeds

Duck knows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ducks don't kill ppl, rhinos do..."

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By *ustme34Man
over a year ago

Bradford

5 if they then came together to make a megaduckzord like the power rangers do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""ducks don't kill ppl, rhinos do..."

GLC ref before someone tells me I haven't answered the question - GLC is the answer....!

"come out with your hands on your head,turn the rap music off and step away from the stereo....!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Are they mallard or wellard ducks? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1 after I ram it down it's throat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is the rhino very, very allergic to ducks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there a form of duck/rhino trans-species rabies I wonder!? .... if so the scenario writes itself!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Is there a form of duck/rhino trans-species rabies I wonder!? .... if so the scenario writes itself!"

If the duck died in the food/water of the poor beast then it maybe at risk from one of the following:

Duck Virus hepatitis

Duck Plague (Duck Virus Enteritis)

Riemerella anti pestiferous Infection

Avian Cholera

Colibacillosis

Aspergillosis

Toxins

Aflatoxin poisoning

Botulism

Castor bean poisoning

Insecticides, rodenticides

Bon apetite!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do I get down off a duck?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone figured it out yet

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By *hisisntpofMan
over a year ago

bristol

"Duck hides, trips rhino up (rhinos are v short sighted), rhino gets bad concussion and sadly dies.

If the duck hides ,would that be a peking duck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the OP is on quack

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By *ingAlMan
over a year ago

hereford

Is it the one that starred in Love Story? Rhino Neal

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

nearly 4,000...I cheated and found it on Quora and Reddit.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Based on averaged measurements: a duck can lift 250g, a white think weighs 2.3 tonnes. Therefore it would take 9,200 ducks to lift a think away and drop it somewhere

yeah thats fine but how would you then get all 9,200 ducks to lift a Rhino.. it would be impossible.. only get a hundred or so duck beaks and thats if they all had the same idea at the same point...

but by the time the Rhino tipped he'd simply squish said ducks under the weight of its body..

You stack your ducks obviously

The first layer grabs the rhino, the next layer grabs the first layer of ducks, etc

'grabs'.. when the feck did a duck have hands LVM?lol

The RSPB says..Wings are modified arms which are better adapted to flying. But there are some important differences. The upper arm is short and thick, for powering the wing beat: this part is invisible on most birds. The bend in the middle of the wing is actually the bird’s wrist. The last joint of the wing is like our hand, but it has only one finger bone.

A hand with only one finger: sounds like a rude gesture called 'The bird',

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"I think the OP is on quack"
or Quora, as it's a rhetrorical question.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm ducking this question

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

Just one. But that one is Duck Norris.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Just one. But that one is Duck Norris."

I'll get your coat for ya, the door's that way.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

"Just one. But that one is Duck Norris.

I'll get your coat for ya, the door's that way."

Someone HAD to say it

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I wholly expected this thread to be the work of a certain Mr M. Good work, Your Majesty, good work

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

I'm thinking three. Two to decoy and one armed Dambuster stylee.

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By *dam stoneMan
over a year ago

telford

69... just googled it lol

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

A few dozen frozen ducks might do it, fired out of a cannon, aimed at the poor rhino's head.

This is how jet engines are tested for potential airstrikes.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"A few dozen frozen ducks might do it, fired out of a cannon, aimed at the poor rhino's head.

This is how jet engines are tested for potential airstrikes."

Surely the aerodynamic and engine fucking-up properties of frozen and fresh fowl are somewhat different?! No wonder planes can't cope with bird strikes! You should write to Boeing et.al and point out that birds aren't frozen when they strike in mid air. Surely you'd revolutionise the safety of air travel

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thought you'd done a new thread on dicks to kill a rhino for a sec....

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

"A few dozen frozen ducks might do it, fired out of a cannon, aimed at the poor rhino's head.

This is how jet engines are tested for potential airstrikes.

That was the urban legend about when the US Air force borrowed Rolls Royces chicken cannon to test their windshields. They were horrified when the bird smashed thru the screen and embedded itself in the pilots chair.

They sent a lengthy, comprehensive and detailed report to Rolls Royce.

Rolls Royce replied in three words- "Defrost The Chicken"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thought it said 'fluffy' grown rhino.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

42, the answer is always 42

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

Non... There are hundreds of Rhinos being slaughtered already! Save the Rhino, save the ducks, save the world!

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

"A few dozen frozen ducks might do it, fired out of a cannon, aimed at the poor rhino's head.

This is how jet engines are tested for potential airstrikes.

They sent a lengthy, comprehensive and detailed report to Rolls Royce.

Rolls Royce replied in three words- "Defrost The Chicken" "

Love it. Possibly a new James May series...Doh, that's too simple for us to work out!

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