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Thoughts please

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

me and my ex have been split now for a few months but we have remained friends,she informed me yesterday that she's going on a date saturday night which I'm pleased about in a way as I want her to be happy and move on (kid issues mean we cannot be together) I've agreed that we should stop contact as it isnt fair me lurking in the background and here lies the problem we used to talk and message each other everyday and now that contact is no longer there i feel a part of me is missing it's not jealousy because as I say I want her to move on but Is this normal I should feel like this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course it's normal, you're cutting someone out of your life who's been an enormous part of it. It's going to suck. Find some hobbies to throw yourself in to, try to socialise a bit with friends or new friends to take your mind off it and hopefully help move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes i think so.

It all sounds like you are being very reasonable but its not easy or healthy to just switch off your feelings.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Its perfectly normal to feel the way you do. To go from every day messaging, calls etc to nothing is hard. You will get there but it will take time x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should try and not think about all the good times m8.think of some of the bad times too. You are still holding a torch for her .move on it sounds like it's come to an end m8

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes its perfectly normal.. it seems like so many things remind you of her. The best advise i can give is get out and meet new people, youve done the right thing in breaking that contact.. it doesnt mean you ignore each other if you see each other by any means but it will make that transition to just being friends so much easier.

Heart strings are tough buggers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes op, this sounds perfectly normal, if you have been in contact every day, of course it will feel as though something is missing. Cliché I know, but given time, should pass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feel for you man.

Pick up and do those things you used to do before you got together. See this is an opportunity!

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By *hat BlokeMan
over a year ago

Harrogate


"Its perfectly normal to feel the way you do. To go from every day messaging, calls etc to nothing is hard. You will get there but it will take time x"

I think this is the top and bottom of it. Even if it is just a friendship. Losing that is hard enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You sound very caring and considerate - very natural to feel how you've described... But you need a new distraction that you can throw yourself into.. What are your hobbies /interests?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its perfectly normal. Just because you separate it doesn't mean you have to hate each other or get involved in toxic drama like some do. Simply means you can't sustain aspects of a relationship.

Keep occupied. Your biggest demons are in your head. Good luck.

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Definitely normal and covid restrictions aren’t going to help as they make it harder for us to socialise and be with others

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

I think it's normal. Friendship is a big part of a relationship to me...I've stayed friends with an ex before and having to stop being friends broke my heart perhaps more than the relationship.

Try and keep yourself busy and take it one day at a time

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

You need a new friend to fill that gap. That is the best way to move on. Discover and distract: find a new way/person to take your mind of the past. Your Ex has done it.

I know how hard it is.

Good luck

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"me and my ex have been split now for a few months but we have remained friends,she informed me yesterday that she's going on a date saturday night which I'm pleased about in a way as I want her to be happy and move on (kid issues mean we cannot be together) I've agreed that we should stop contact as it isnt fair me lurking in the background and here lies the problem we used to talk and message each other everyday and now that contact is no longer there i feel a part of me is missing it's not jealousy because as I say I want her to move on but Is this normal I should feel like this"

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"me and my ex have been split now for a few months but we have remained friends,she informed me yesterday that she's going on a date saturday night which I'm pleased about in a way as I want her to be happy and move on (kid issues mean we cannot be together) I've agreed that we should stop contact as it isnt fair me lurking in the background and here lies the problem we used to talk and message each other everyday and now that contact is no longer there i feel a part of me is missing it's not jealousy because as I say I want her to move on but Is this normal I should feel like this"

You’ve preoccupied you’re time primarily with her company, it’s common in that respect that you will end up having that feeling of alienation, the best thing going forward is to trust in and confide with you’re friends and family more than u already do, or maybe even pick up something as a pass time, keep your chin up, I know how that feels x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You need a new friend to fill that gap. That is the best way to move on. Discover and distract: find a new way/person to take your mind of the past. Your Ex has done it.

I know how hard it is.

Good luck"

This sounds like a good idea.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks everyone for posts and messages really helpful and some good advice

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