FabSwingers.com forum: When a polite "no thanks" isn't accepted

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

Apparently that's not enough either, having received several "Why?" replies. Do you really want me to list all of the reasons why I find you unattractive and your profile unappealing? Maybe just accept that no means no?

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

What's reason 473?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in."

I don’t bother anymore. I just delete and block. It’s easier. Less hassle

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By *ent in BlackMan
over a year ago

Silsden

[Removed by poster at 21/09/20 10:30:42]

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Women do this as well

Is today bash the blokes day or something???

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's reason 473?"

Spunking cock photos

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By *ent in BlackMan
over a year ago

Silsden

"[Removed by poster at 21/09/20 10:30:42]"

Doh goddamn auto correct.

I often don’t get a response and simply leave it at that. I wouldn’t follow someone down the street asking them why.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Women do this as well

Is today bash the blokes day or something??? "

#NotAllMen

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

"What's reason 473?

Spunking cock photos"

Is that because I’ve sent 473 of them

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Women do this as well

Is today bash the blokes day or something???

#NotAllMen "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Women do this as well

Is today bash the blokes day or something??? "

I’d give you a good bashing love

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By *ax1971Man
over a year ago

St helens

I appreciate a no thank you.... and normally reply... thank you and have a fab time, but also understand that it opens a can of worms.... just make you block list your best friend... no one is obliged to reply...

Thank you and have a fab time..op..x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While I appreciate a "thanks but no thanks", I understand why women may not reply for the exact reason Miss Fussy said.

I normally wait a few days, if no reply, assume its a no and move on - no big deal.

PS - Miss Fussy, you've still not replied to my message LOL

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

"Women do this as well

Is today bash the blokes day or something???

I’d give you a good bashing love "

Hopefully that’s my bishop you’re talking about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mostly delete. No reply = no negotiations or abuse. That works for me.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

If they ask why then i will tell them. It is maybe they do not match what i am looking for or that their profile is not appealling. I tell them to help them and not to be unkind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get lots of no replies (if read) but mainly my messages go unread. If I get a “no thanks” type message I often send a courteous “thanks for reading and have fun” type reply.

No means no. I don’t get why some people feel the need to be abusive about it.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

A “Why” is asking for a block, imo.

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By *ove pussey to pleaseMan
over a year ago

cannock

Least you reply ppl that read message then Mark as unread boil my p.ss a polite no anytime

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"A “Why” is asking for a block, imo. "

Yes. An inability to take no for an answer is not a good sign.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Always block when you are not compatible, whether you send a no thanks message or not, so that you never have your perception of the single men and others here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean - it’s a catch22.

If I take the time to message an individual & it gets deleted then I just block them.

Just so I don’t message them again, simple as that

- no need to follow up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A “Why” is asking for a block, imo. "

In a way. It's a good selection criteria. I remember when I was actively seeking meets at some point during chats I would say hard no to something they would be excited about.. and it helped me see their reaction to that "no".. whether they would try to convince me..accept it and move on.. got funny with me or ditched me for that. It's a brilliant tool.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people just don’t take no for an answer, no matter how nicely you put it. I get why a lot of women just ignore messages or mark unread, as soon as you reply or they see their message is read you give them an opening.

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By *ax1971Man
over a year ago

St helens

"Least you reply ppl that read message then Mark as unread boil my p.ss a polite no anytime"

Deleting the message I've sent is ok for me, it says instantly not interested and don't have to wait for a reply... and i can spend my time looking for ladies who like to kiss and connect...xx

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By *ensual 2Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

Thank heaven for the BLOCK button

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always block when you are not compatible, whether you send a no thanks message or not, so that you never have your perception of the single men and others here. "

Block is a bit harsh no ? I mean they might not be right for you to meet etc , but might be good material for chats in forums and stuff - no ?

I always try not to burn any bridges - you never know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always block when you are not compatible, whether you send a no thanks message or not, so that you never have your perception of the single men and others here.

Block is a bit harsh no ? I mean they might not be right for you to meet etc , but might be good material for chats in forums and stuff - no ?

I always try not to burn any bridges - you never know "

Obviously they are being a dick...block , totally agree

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I often block as I've found that some (many) men message multiple times with the exact same message. I suspect a blanket copy and paste to whoever is online while they've got a hard-on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/09/20 11:01:40]

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I often block as I've found that some (many) men message multiple times with the exact same message. I suspect a blanket copy and paste to whoever is online while they've got a hard-on"

I take a three strikes approach to carpet bomb copy paste.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We try to respond to all mails but, as has already been said on here, if people can’t take no for an answer that’s a worrying sign.

It’s also cringeworthy when they try and talk you into it after a polite no too. Got to say though, not just guys who do this and had a lot of couples get quite shirty or coercive too X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in."

I just don’t understand why when a woman or couple had an issue with one or few messages from a guy or two it become all men!

Forgetting some women and couples can acting as bad if not worse!!!

I AM NOT DISAGREEING WITH YOU..... I’m just disagreeing with generalising. ( my own opinion )

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in."

Block all profiles you have no interest in it's most simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in.

Block all profiles you have no interest in it's most simple "

Lots of us do.

Then you get the forum posts "I sent a polite message and got blocked, women on here are fake"

Just cant win.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Occupational hazard. A polite no thank you is normally accepted but you do get a few who won't take it. Block and move on for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Occupational hazard. A polite no thank you is normally accepted but you do get a few who won't take it. Block and move on for me.

Nicely said

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in.

Block all profiles you have no interest in it's most simple

Lots of us do.

Then you get the forum posts "I sent a polite message and got blocked, women on here are fake"

Just cant win.

Have no idea why an idiotic forum whinge would leave you thinking you cant win

Block all profiles you have zero interest

Ignore whinging forum posts

Win win

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in.

Block all profiles you have no interest in it's most simple

Lots of us do.

Then you get the forum posts "I sent a polite message and got blocked, women on here are fake"

Just cant win.

Have no idea why an idiotic forum whinge would leave you thinking you cant win

Block all profiles you have zero interest

Ignore whinging forum posts

Win win"

Huh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in.

Block all profiles you have no interest in it's most simple

Lots of us do.

Then you get the forum posts "I sent a polite message and got blocked, women on here are fake"

Just cant win.

Women got hundreds of messages, and mostly men who sent the messages, sometimes both come a cross the odd ones... but this few does that, doesn’t make the rest fakes or don’t accept no as an answer etc...

I think is lose lose case, but in the end of the day there are a lot of good eggs here still x

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in.

Block all profiles you have no interest in it's most simple

Lots of us do.

Then you get the forum posts "I sent a polite message and got blocked, women on here are fake"

Just cant win.

Have no idea why an idiotic forum whinge would leave you thinking you cant win

Block all profiles you have zero interest

Ignore whinging forum posts

Win win

Huh?

Which bit are you struggling with ??,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in.

Block all profiles you have no interest in it's most simple

Lots of us do.

Then you get the forum posts "I sent a polite message and got blocked, women on here are fake"

Just cant win.

Have no idea why an idiotic forum whinge would leave you thinking you cant win

Block all profiles you have zero interest

Ignore whinging forum posts

Win win

Huh?

Which bit are you struggling with ??, "

I'm struggling with your suggestion that its the fault of people who dont block 95% of the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in."

Would an unappealing profile in the literary sense be outweighed by a set of photos you found to be very appealing ie poor grammar short profile wording etc?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in.

Block all profiles you have no interest in it's most simple

Lots of us do.

Then you get the forum posts "I sent a polite message and got blocked, women on here are fake"

Just cant win.

I think is lose lose case, but in the end of the day there are a lot of good eggs here still x"

It's incredibly lose lose.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Get alot ask why I tell them the reason and move on never block unless they rude then I will x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in.

Block all profiles you have no interest in it's most simple

Lots of us do.

Then you get the forum posts "I sent a polite message and got blocked, women on here are fake"

Just cant win.

I think is lose lose case, but in the end of the day there are a lot of good eggs here still x

It's incredibly lose lose."

Sadly

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in.

Block all profiles you have no interest in it's most simple

Lots of us do.

Then you get the forum posts "I sent a polite message and got blocked, women on here are fake"

Just cant win.

Have no idea why an idiotic forum whinge would leave you thinking you cant win

Block all profiles you have zero interest

Ignore whinging forum posts

Win win

Huh?

Which bit are you struggling with ??,

I'm struggling with your suggestion that its the fault of people who dont block 95% of the site. "

Not sure I said or implied that

I gave a solution that many others have and is both simple and effective

Receive message

Establish "not for me"

Block move on

Not suggested the op is at fault only that her apparent problems have a very very simple and effective solution

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By *amish SMan
over a year ago

Eastleigh

Really astonishes me that some can't take the rejection. Their 'why' and other pushy replies that follow up says more about them.

Politeness and manners cost nothing. I always reply to emails, it is just polite, but from the volumes the women get I am not surprised they can't reply to all of them.

No matter who you are, if you're not what their looking for, accept reply and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people need to realise there is a lot of guys on here that will definitely not take no for an answer a lot of the guys on here think that they're God's gift they think they're special

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I think people need to realise there is a lot of guys on here that will definitely not take no for an answer a lot of the guys on here think that they're God's gift they think they're special

They mail me in their droves daily

Block move on no drama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank heaven for the BLOCK button "

Amen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But as everyone saying OP why don’t you block them and move on!... it’s not the first and certainly won’t be the last x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the thing is you can block people but they can easily create a new profile pretend to be someone new and then down the line be the same person that you blocked a month ago

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"Always block when you are not compatible, whether you send a no thanks message or not, so that you never have your perception of the single men and others here. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think the thing is you can block people but they can easily create a new profile pretend to be someone new and then down the line be the same person that you blocked a month ago"

This is when they have a mental problems, and that’s what the report buttons is for

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Occupational hazard. A polite no thank you is normally accepted but you do get a few who won't take it. Block and move on for me.

This for me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"But as everyone saying OP why don’t you block them and move on!... it’s not the first and certainly won’t be the last x"

As stated, I usually do - to save hassle now and in the future when they try again. But occasionally I feel "kind" and see all the men whining about no replies, so do reply and then get the whining. We can't win.

And yes, it isn't only men but it is mostly men. Really, the people who do this should be managing their own behaviour, not the recipients needing to manage it for them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in."

and the reason some men are fed up with women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But as everyone saying OP why don’t you block them and move on!... it’s not the first and certainly won’t be the last x

And yes, it isn't only men but it is mostly men. Really, the people who do this should be managing their own behaviour, not the recipients needing to manage it for them "

That’s fair point, and I can not imagine how women inbox’s will look like, and I always thinks if the first message got deleted it’s 99% a polite no and it shouldn’t be personal, but been on this site it can be gambling when you meeting someone for the first time Anyway.... they can look and sound great and when you meet them you be like who the F***k are you... lol

But I see your point and sadly this happens a lot here, good luck OP x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First time I ever saw a polite refusal turn into a mini fracas was when done guy in a late night bar went over to 3 sexually attractive ladies and ask them something and one said we're with our mates and on a night out together thanks and all very polite then the guy said something else and this Scouse bird switched and gave him a right gobfull .

I had to intervene and tell him to call it a night try somewhere else.

And that's because some guys won't take no for a answer so they only understand a slanging match .

Or the smart ladies just delete the cunt and stop it right there

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I generally ignore people I'm not interested in as I surely the fact that I haven't responded is enough of an indicator of my disinterest, however, I occasionally send a polite "no thank you".

And this is reason number 628 why women get fed up with the men on here and why many of us don't usually respond to people we're not interested in.

and the reason some men are fed up with women."

Some men are fed up with women because some men are vile about not taking no for an answer, and so women have to behave defensively? Do I understand you correctly?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Personally, I don't overthink it. When visible my profile is without ambiguity: it says what I'm looking for/what I'm offering. I state I'll not respond to anyone outwith what I'm looking for: and I don't.

No problem!

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By *onkeyandBonesCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"We try to respond to all mails but, as has already been said on here, if people can’t take no for an answer that’s a worrying sign.

It’s also cringeworthy when they try and talk you into it after a polite no too. Got to say though, not just guys who do this and had a lot of couples get quite shirty or coercive too X"

We second this fully. Having experienced lots of replies asking why, it is at that point that we block x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Personally, I don't overthink it. When visible my profile is without ambiguity: it says what I'm looking for/what I'm offering. I state I'll not respond to anyone outwith what I'm looking for: and I don't.

No problem!

Oh for sure. When my filters come back down I'll delete when I'm uninterested and block any attempts to question the clear no.

Still sucks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a theory that if they don’t take a no via a message without having a tantrum, they’d be even worse and more forceful in person, I could be wrong but it’s my filter

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I have a theory that if they don’t take a no via a message without having a tantrum, they’d be even worse and more forceful in person, I could be wrong but it’s my filter "

Oh god absolutely me too.

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By *eneral HysteriaMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Women do this as well

Is today bash the blokes day or something??? "

Errrm... every day.

Just goes with the territory round here.

You're welcome.

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By *reywolf_18Man
over a year ago

ayr

I can think of no situation where question receiving a "no" is acceptable. Not gonna change her mind, only gonna piss her off and make her feel attacked.

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

Whilst there are some truly sexy and desirable people on here, it's still a swingers site; if someone isn't interested in me at the first time of asking,I'm not going to waste any effort trying to make them change their mind.

People shouldn't take any of this personally, if you like someone and they like you,great meet and enjoy, if they don't like you,move on.

Golden rules... Be nice, be respectful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to reply.. Got the standard 'why' back, then 'how can you decide without chatting /getting to know me, see me, meet me...etc etc' And it just goes on and on

Now i just reply /follow up with those i find interesting.. i don't want to lead anyone on - its not just sex for me and is rarely NSA.. It takes a while for me to get to know you and understand you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really, the people who do this should be managing their own behaviour, not the recipients needing to manage it for them "

Absolutely agree with this!

I have received "no thanks" replies to messages. That's okay, and I've never sent a rude or arsey reply. That wouldn't do anybody any favours.

I have sent polite, courteous and understanding replies. They've never done me any harm either. Quite the opposite.

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