FabSwingers.com forum: Polyamory

By * Sophie x OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

What does it mean to you, how does it define you and how do you deal with it when you find out you are polyamorous.

Curious to know as I've had it levelled at me that I could be polyamorous and I never even considered this about myself.

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By *ingle ex cuckMan
over a year ago

chester

It basically means your a swinger

It’s not an insult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's something I've recently learnt about myself.

I have had feelings for more than one person at the same time and I've had to deal with someone I love having love for someone else.

It's made me see things differently.

It's actually a beautiful thing. X

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

Polyamory means to be in love with more than one person at the same time. It’s something that I personally believe we are all capable of as animals, but that few of us are mentally or emotionally ready for or equipped to deal with - thanks to our social-cultural programming over the last couple thousand years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quick caveat: I'm not poly (as far as I know

)

I've always thought poly relationships are the same as any monogamous ones just with more people. For instance a throuple where all three have romantic feelings for the other two, and it's not necessarily just a sexual relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quick caveat: I'm not poly (as far as I know

)

This

poly is to do with loving more than one person in a romantic way at the same time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just one would be great...

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

There are many many different versions of poly relationships, what works for one may not work for another, but the consistent part is embracing those love feelings for as many girlfriends as you want to x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It basically means your a swinger

It’s not an insult "

No no no no wrong on every level. Polyamory and swinging are very different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It basically means your a swinger

It’s not an insult "

Swinging and polyamory are VERY different things.

I love the idea of being poly, I have a few friends who are, and they are the happiest people I know, but for me personally, I can and enjoy sharing my man sexually...but his soul, his heart, they're mine. I couldn't share that part with someone else...much as I like the idea in theory

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

For me it means being honest with myself as to who I am and being comfortable enough with that to post on threads like these (as an example). I've always had this ridiculous capacity for love and care and openly say I love my friends because I do - they mean a lot to me. Being poly has helped me embrace the romantic love I feel for more than one and enjoy it.

The finding out part? I'd had it suggested a couple of times and I was very much no, couldn't be, I'm just a bit of a slut. And then I noticed the language I used, I spent time realising what made me happy, even simple things like reading Lacey's posts on being poly and them resonating with me so strongly made me think more about it.

And then I met someone earlier this year who I fell in love with and that cemented the fact I was poly. I've never been happier than I am now and I can't imagine a life without both of my partners in it.

I'm not open about it outside of fab because I'm not quite sure how to be. A part of me wishes I could be in all honesty but that's something I will learn in time.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

It's an intriguing mindset and approach that few people can grasp, accept and much less embrace.

I'll be the first to admit i'd be incapable of it. I'm happy to share physically with no reservations but can only commit to something so profound with one person at a time. If I professed to deeply love two people romantically I don't see how I could properly dedicate myself to either by splitting time between them.

To those who practice it, good on you and congratulations for having that capacity. I just feel it's not for the general population nor will it ever be.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Polyamory....The ability or practice of having multiple simultaneous, emotionally intimate relationships with the knowledge and consent of all involved.

That's the dictionary definition as coined by Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart.

In practice people do poly many ways. My nesting wife of 22 years and I date other people separately. I'm handfasted to another woman I've been in a relationship with for 3 years and have some more less defined connections.

Most people in the poly scene are "solo poly".. They choose not to live with any partners. There are a few triads and quads but most commonly existing couples date separately. There are many more ways people practice poly... Probably best to try More Than Two (book and website) and The Ethical Slut (book). Also look for polyamory related Facebook groups through which you may find a local poly social meet. I run the London Poly meetup group, and while it's all online for now normally we do a large pub meet (60-70 people) and a smaller coffee shop meet every month plus a one day conference.

Regarding poly and swinging, they're not the same. Swinging often involves friendship but is more around enjoying sex with several people. Poly is specifically about developing deep relationships, which may not even involve sex.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Additional... Some poly people also swing, hence being here myself.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

"Also look for polyamory related Facebook groups through which you may find a local poly social meet. I run the London Poly meetup group, and while it's all online for now normally we do a large pub meet (60-70 people) and a smaller coffee shop meet every month plus a one day conference."

Do you know of any groups in the North West / West Midlands areas? I've tried to search for groups / meetups but only London comes up.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

There is a Facebook group "UK polyamory" which is a good landing point to find out about more local groups, some of which are private /invisible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s something I’m currently realising about myself. I’ve always had a huge capacity to love and care, and when I love I do it with everything I have.

I’m still so new to the idea though that it’s pretty terrifying. Opening myself up to it is going to take time, but it does feel very right for me. It’s almost like coming out the closet, part of me wanting to celebrate it while the other wants to hide from it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is something that interests me and have sometimes thought that it would suit me.

I live as a single and would never co-habit again, which I have only done once when married.

I don’t really consider myself as a swinger as I need to feel a connection with someone in order to enjoy sex with them but am open to having more than one relationship with total honesty on all sides.

Something to ponder on as Covid makes this difficult to explore now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think i am polyamorous, but i know my husband would never allow it as he would never be comfortable with it

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Opening myself up to it is going to take time, but it does feel very right for me. It’s almost like coming out the closet, part of me wanting to celebrate it while the other wants to hide from it. "

I remember those feelings so well, I still have them sometimes. I hope you find a way to be at peace and comfortable with who you are, at the pace that makes you happy. x

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I’ve been there and genuinely believed I was in love with two people at the same time.

It didn’t work out well though, there was more hurting than loving.

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By * Sophie x OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

"It's something I've recently learnt about myself.

I have had feelings for more than one person at the same time and I've had to deal with someone I love having love for someone else.

It's made me see things differently.

It's actually a beautiful thing. X"

To go from always thinking that any feelings should only be held for one person over all others to having feelings for more than one person is quite a thing to try and get your head around but it does seem to make sense.

Having these feelings with someone who also could have them for someone else too is quite bizarre yet stands to reason in my mind as im fully aware that one person cannot be all things to you, one cannot possibly fulfill every desire that person can have.

It is a beautiful thing, thankyou x

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By * Sophie x OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

"Polyamory means to be in love with more than one person at the same time. It’s something that I personally believe we are all capable of as animals, but that few of us are mentally or emotionally ready for or equipped to deal with - thanks to our social-cultural programming over the last couple thousand years."

Thats just it, is monogamy purely a social construct when it comes to romantic relations as its socially acceptable to love more than one child or parent for example.

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By * Sophie x OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

"Quick caveat: I'm not poly (as far as I know

)

And its not necessarily centered around sex either, does it even have to involve sex?

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By * Sophie x OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

"It basically means your a swinger

It’s not an insult

Swinging and polyamory are VERY different things.

I get that, sex is just sex whereas its the deeper more personal stuff that takes some working out

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

And its not necessarily centered around sex either, does it even have to involve sex? "

Yep, poly relationships do not need to involve sex.

It's about the emotional connection. Most poly relationships tend to look like nono relationships when viewed by an outsider... But there are many relationship styles.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

And its not necessarily centered around sex either, does it even have to involve sex?

Yep, poly relationships do not need to involve sex.

It's about the emotional connection. Most poly relationships tend to look like nono relationships when viewed by an outsider... But there are many relationship styles. "

Someone I know who's poly said that he is often told that you can't love more than one person at once. And that it's like loving all of your children.

That makes a lot of sense to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Opening myself up to it is going to take time, but it does feel very right for me. It’s almost like coming out the closet, part of me wanting to celebrate it while the other wants to hide from it.

I remember those feelings so well, I still have them sometimes. I hope you find a way to be at peace and comfortable with who you are, at the pace that makes you happy. x"

Thank you darling. I’ll get there, it’s still just a bit of a shock to my system

Funnily enough my hubby laughed at me when I raised it with him. “You’re only JUST figuring that out?!”

Honestly, I think I’m so self-aware and then it turns out I’m thick as mince

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

The analogy with parents loving children or with siblings is certainly used a lot. Having neither kids nor siblings I can't comment much on that.

But I do know that I am in love with the two women I call wives and who call me husband (NB this is uncommon even in the poly community) and I have loving feelings for the women I refer to as "undefined connections".

It's not uncommon for poly folk to have very deep friendships that would often raise eyebrows in mono relationships.

The other key is knowledge and consent. Everyone involved knows and consents to what's happening. All my partners/connections know each other in real life and I know theirs. Pre-covid we'd often hang out.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"The analogy with parents loving children or with siblings is certainly used a lot. Having neither kids nor siblings I can't comment much on that.

It's not uncommon for poly folk to have very deep friendships that would often raise eyebrows in mono relationships.

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

For me poly is like trying to fit into a jigsaw.

I have sides and bobbly bits, one person isn't ever going to meet all those needs, desires or hopes. (the husband says it's cause I'm like a diamond with facets...)

I want to find other partners to share those moments and experiences with, which may or may not involve swinging. As others have said. It's not always about sex (although for me, with an asexual husband, some of it is about sex)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is that near Balamory?

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Facets, bobbly bits...

I've always strongly felt that I could never be everything to someone, and that no one person could be everything to me. Before I embraced polyamory that meant having what was considered unusually close friendships.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

"There is a Facebook group "UK polyamory" which is a good landing point to find out about more local groups, some of which are private /invisible."

Trouble is I don't really use Facebook, and I have vanilla friends and also family on there...

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

"There is a Facebook group "UK polyamory" which is a good landing point to find out about more local groups, some of which are private /invisible.

Trouble is I don't really use Facebook, and I have vanilla friends and also family on there..."

They won't be able to see you're a member or anything you post there.

Caveat... That group is not run by me, though i do know several of the admins. Its large and sometimes conversations get heated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately i end up just getting hurt by my polyamory.

I get attached way too easily. Then get flack from hubby for him having to pick up the pieces

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm polyamorous and a relationship anarchist. I don't like forcing connections into boxes. I feel like relationships can be a pick n mix between people for whatever suits them. I love being free to explore each new connection without limits beyond "don't be an inconsiderate twat to other people you care about". I love the openess, the honesty and the emphasis on effective communication.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Do you know of any groups in the North West / West Midlands areas? I've tried to search for groups / meetups but only London comes up."

There's a Merseyside poly meet

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

My poly relationships are like my friendships.. Each one unique and at a level we sculpt together. They grow and evolve and are in flux, just like any relationship.

To have a healthy poly lifestyle It takes emotional intelligence and a willingness to communicate well when needed. It requires a balance of transparency and respect for others privacy. Lots of honesty and it helps to know yourself pretty well. There is sometimes alot to navigate but.. I guess There is in any relationship.

I have found deep, committed and loyal connections. Poly doesn't mean casual.. Unless that's what you want.

My capacity for love is not limited when it comes to family and friends.. I find the same with intimate partners.. whether they are a fleeting firework or a long burning fire.

For some it's a nightmare. It's not for everyone. But I have found that my life is richer letting go of monogomy. And.. I'm lucky, I have found lovely partners.

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Really there is no rule book.. Its more about being open to connection in a way which flows according to each one. A conscious choice to explore connection without imposing the limits of monogomy on eachother. However, Boundaries are still healthy to establish together, with others in mind and with responsibility to yourself.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

"There's a Merseyside poly meet"

Oh really? Obviously meets are on hold at the moment, but is there an online group I could join or a way to make contact about joining meets when the resume?

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

I think I have genuinely been , however not now

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

Definitely wouldn't be in a poly relationship I've come to learn that I don't like living with other adults.

Swinging/open relationship where when we're together we're together & not pining when we're not. Bit greedy maybe but I want him to have his own life and I have mine too, not a reliance upon me to keep him company & entertained all the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definately looking into this at the moment. Our wants have changed and its a journey we are just "packing the suitcases" for! C is legit bi-sexual and has had experience with both men and ladies. Its a new concept for me but im open to it all too

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

"Definitely wouldn't be in a poly relationship I've come to learn that I don't like living with other adults.

Solo-poly people choose not to live with any of their partners.

Indeed all polyamorous people that I know, regardless of domestic situation, are happy for partners to "live their own lives". We're autonomous human beings.

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By *lwayshorny79Woman
over a year ago

Leicester

I totally agree with this. Realising there is nothing wrong with loving more than one person at once was a huge relief when I finally admitted it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think I'm adding much new here, but it's definitely not swinging. To me it's about being able to be as open, honest and authentic in my feelings as possible and to love people as freely as I want in the romantic sense. It can be hard work, but what worthwhile thing isn't?

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"There's a Merseyside poly meet

Oh really? Obviously meets are on hold at the moment, but is there an online group I could join or a way to make contact about joining meets when the resume?"

They have a Fetlife group and I'm pretty sure they have a Facebook group too.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"Definitely wouldn't be in a poly relationship I've come to learn that I don't like living with other adults.

Im in solo poly relationships, it makes it no less loving romantic just because we don't want to live together, my relationships all meet other women as well, some have wives and girlfriends, this is where my compersion comes in to play

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By *allgirthyMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

As somebody who is naturally monogamous - ie somebody who is devoted to “one” at a time - be that one person or one couple, polyamory makes perfect sense to me. I crave that commitment and that connection and passion you can only find with those that you spend a decent amount of time with. I can handle the emotional abnormality of it all and the dynamic makes for a complex and highly rewarding relationship.

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By *horley GirlWoman
over a year ago

Local-ish

I've been in monogamous relationships.

Previous relationship ended up with him being with someone else behind my back. he said he was thinking he may be poly, loved us both, but her and I weren't aware of each other until he was found out.

Wasn't something I was comfortable with as it was all deceitful and lies to me and the other woman. I can understand that he wanted to explore his own feelings, but needed to not be at the expense of another persons feelings.

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By *allgirthyMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

"I've been in monogamous relationships.

Yeah, that’s not acceptable behaviour. Unfortunately these sorts of desires can be so strong and lead you to doing things that are wrong. I guess ultimately it’s still a case of too much thinking with your penis!

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I've been in monogamous relationships.

I disagree as that makes it sound like polyamorous people can't control themselves if they're in a monogamous relationship. Cheaters exist in all types of people and I've never cheated on anyone despite having many monogamous relationships. I'm happier in non-monogamous relationships but in the past when I promised monogamy to others I kept that promise.

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

While cheating and being deceitful isn't acceptable and certainly isn't poly, I can, in some respects, understand why it happens.

We live in such a monohetnormative world that people often don't realise they have the capacity to love more than one person/partner until they are in the position where they already do. It's all about teaching people as much as possible about alternative lifestyles and relationships so people don't get into those situations in the first place.

It doesn't make that deceit any less painful though!

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

One of the keystones to polyamory is that it is carried out "with the knowledge and consent of all involved"

Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes but put simply, if there's cheating, it isn't polyamory and those of us who practise poly are vehemently against cheating.

The grey area is usually that someone discovers they are poly after getting into a mono relationship and does not know how to ethically love multiple people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely. Cheating is antithetical to ethical non-monogamy. The basic reason for being open to new relationships in that way is so that you can be honest with yourself and others about your feelings. I can understand that some people might cheat for the thrill, but that's not ENM.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"It basically means your a swinger

It’s not an insult "

In the original sense.

For us it’s more though, we don’t shy away from relationships beyond just sex, even feelings sometimes, we give partners much more, but we do have some rules/boundaries like around finance, what we tell vanilla friends and family and being able to object , but it’s unlikely

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By * Sophie x OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

This has definitely made for some interesting reading and is helping me see that what is going around in my head means I am likely poly.

Nice to know finally that it's relatively normal and that I just dont conform to monogamous social norms yet there is nothing wrong with that either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It basically means your a swinger

It’s not an insult "

No it does not, polyamory is about love not sex, hence POLY AMOUR!

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

"This has definitely made for some interesting reading and is helping me see that what is going around in my head means I am likely poly.

Nice to know finally that it's relatively normal and that I just dont conform to monogamous social norms yet there is nothing wrong with that either

I hear so many people say how relieved they are to discover a word for how they feel, and that other people are actually living their poly lives successfully.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"This has definitely made for some interesting reading and is helping me see that what is going around in my head means I am likely poly.

Nice to know finally that it's relatively normal and that I just dont conform to monogamous social norms yet there is nothing wrong with that either

Even me and my nesting partner have different views on relationships. He doesn't understand mine but is happy with our set up and knows I love him. He sometimes gets a little upset that I don't believe in automatically placing much higher importance on romantic relationships than platonic ones as society often does but he liked it when I said it means his importance to me is a compliment as its earned and not something he was just given the instance we applied the boyfriend label

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

any other poly/cuck couples finding covid especially hard and frustrating ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"any other poly/cuck couples finding covid especially hard and frustrating ?

To be fair, were finding if hard in most ways but in "Fab" ways, liberating. Were becoming more open to ideas and sexual needs. The covid rules are just giving us time to really make sure what we want out of it all. But it has made us come to the conclusion that a third person joining us is especially interesting!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My poly relationships are like my friendships.. Each one unique and at a level we sculpt together. They grow and evolve and are in flux, just like any relationship.

I have found deep, committed and loyal connections. Poly doesn't mean casual.. Unless that's what you want.

My capacity for love is not limited when it comes to family and friends.. I find the same with intimate partners.. whether they are a fleeting firework or a long burning fire.

For some it's a nightmare. It's not for everyone. But I have found that my life is richer letting go of monogomy. And.. I'm lucky, I have found lovely partners. "

This is beautiful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A very interesting thread. Food for thought. Thank you for this.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"any other poly/cuck couples finding covid especially hard and frustrating ?

Yes

. My other connections are either fairly casual or quite new but I'm still super sad and missing them but my poor partner has another of two years and it's really shit.

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By *allgirthyMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

It is extremely difficult and with no end in sight it’s beginning to feel pretty hopeless. At least it’s giving us all time to think and take stock of what we might all really want when we come out of this; exploration to the max!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would love to have such a relationship with a suitable guy xx

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

I frequent a Poly site and the amount of arguments caused by what people believe is “True Poly” is unbelievable.

They are always falling out over this point. It’s quite a hostile subject.

Good reading though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every poly couple I have ever known over last 15 years always fails in the long run and ends up in a normal conceived setup or just swinging couples .

Jealousy / attention are always the reasons for failure I have been told from the people I have known / friends with in poly setups.

Me personally I can’t see any value to it in the long run , would just be something for fun in the short term in my view.

Not disputing others may have successfully managed marriages / relationships in this setup , just I am yet to see it from a broad spectrum of people that I have personally met .

Always interesting though how humans live their lives

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

Of course I'm a leader in the poly community, but I know literally hundreds of people who are successfully living poly lives.

Been married 22 years to my live-in wife. We've both had several relationships in that time, naturally learning along the way but have never spilt up.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

"Of course I'm a leader in the poly community, but I know literally hundreds of people who are successfully living poly lives.

Been married 22 years to my live-in wife. We've both had several relationships in that time, naturally learning along the way but have never spilt up. "

What constitutes a leader?

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

"any other poly/cuck couples finding covid especially hard and frustrating ?

It's heartbreaking. I live with my legal wife which is lovely. But I can't be intimate with my handfasted wife as we don't live together and she's critically vulnerable. I haven't seen any of my other poly connections or the extended 'polycule' which runs most of London's poly events since March. We're all touchy, hugging people and are all suffering.

But we're also risk aware, as we are used to openly negotiating sexual health within polycules.... And we're following the covid rules.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

"Of course I'm a leader in the poly community, but I know literally hundreds of people who are successfully living poly lives.

Been married 22 years to my live-in wife. We've both had several relationships in that time, naturally learning along the way but have never spilt up.

What constitutes a leader?

I run it co-organise most of the Poly social events in London including the world's largest one day conference on ethical non-monogamy.

Therefore I know a lot of polyamorous people

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

"Of course I'm a leader in the poly community, but I know literally hundreds of people who are successfully living poly lives.

Been married 22 years to my live-in wife. We've both had several relationships in that time, naturally learning along the way but have never spilt up.

What constitutes a leader?

I run it co-organise most of the Poly social events in London including the world's largest one day conference on ethical non-monogamy.

Therefore I know a lot of polyamorous people"

Sounds busy. Never seen it mentioned on the board I frequent. They are probably too bush arguing.

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

"Of course I'm a leader in the poly community, but I know literally hundreds of people who are successfully living poly lives.

Been married 22 years to my live-in wife. We've both had several relationships in that time, naturally learning along the way but have never spilt up.

What constitutes a leader?

I run it co-organise most of the Poly social events in London including the world's largest one day conference on ethical non-monogamy.

Therefore I know a lot of polyamorous people

Sounds busy. Never seen it mentioned on the board I frequent. They are probably too bush arguing. "

*busy not bush.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

"Of course I'm a leader in the poly community, but I know literally hundreds of people who are successfully living poly lives.

Been married 22 years to my live-in wife. We've both had several relationships in that time, naturally learning along the way but have never spilt up.

What constitutes a leader?

I run it co-organise most of the Poly social events in London including the world's largest one day conference on ethical non-monogamy.

Therefore I know a lot of polyamorous people

Sounds busy. Never seen it mentioned on the board I frequent. They are probably too bush arguing. "

It's got a Wikipedia page and everything! But we cancelled this year due to the plague.

I run the London polyamory meetup group which in non covid times offers two monthly meets....poly pub (60 to 70 people) and Poly coffee (up to 40)... Plus I'm on the organising committee for Polyday (usually 200 attendees, one day conference). I've also recorded podcasts and after covid I'm involved in a documentary made by poly folk... because most existing docs are rather poor.

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

I should add offshoots of the Poly meet-up are the London poly women's group, Poly board games and poly walks

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Every poly couple I have ever known over last 15 years always fails in the long run and ends up in a normal conceived setup or just swinging couples .

Jealousy / attention are always the reasons for failure I have been told from the people I have known / friends with in poly setups.

Me personally I can’t see any value to it in the long run , would just be something for fun in the short term in my view.

Not disputing others may have successfully managed marriages / relationships in this setup , just I am yet to see it from a broad spectrum of people that I have personally met .

Always interesting though how humans live their lives

Because every monogamous relationship is a huge, roaring success

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By *inkyChrissy99TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I find poly people very friendly and very open about who they are which is refreshing to me.

Being poly is about finding close connections with more than one person.... If it's with the right people then there is nothing but positives on all sides.

If done just to be poly as it's kinda a cool thing then it will fail more often than not.... Like any relationship it's never gonna be all roses and can get complicated very quick!!

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By *anty TwoCouple
over a year ago

Near Ash Surrey & South Essex

Because?

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By *anty TwoCouple
over a year ago

Near Ash Surrey & South Essex

Good answer

Much to think about there

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I've loved and still love more than one person ...I also do some sex without falling in love sometimes.... it's just some sexy fun....

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By *anty TwoCouple
over a year ago

Near Ash Surrey & South Essex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

poly is the ideal i think.. so many unicorns to find tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in a polyamorous relationship in my 20s but it wasn’t for me. I’m non-monogamous but I think I’m “monoamorous”, I can only romantically love one person at the same time (or none at all, which is more common

)

I do think it’s possible for others.

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By *anty TwoCouple
over a year ago

Near Ash Surrey & South Essex

monoamorous

Now that's an interesting concept

Interested in views about that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/11/20 20:37:59]

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"monoamorous

Now that's an interesting concept

Interested in views about that "

Technically a more fitting term. Monogamy/polygamy relate to marriage so monoamorous would be the true opposite to polyamorous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Polyamory comes from Greek poly for many and Latin amory for love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"monoamorous

Now that's an interesting concept

Interested in views about that "

Tbh I think monoamory is something I mostly made up!

I use the term because polyamory and monogamy aren’t opposites. One means loves and one means sexual partners (that’s the reductive term). So you can be polyamorous but in a monogamous relationship. Or non-monogamous but love only your partner.

There are lots of ways to be non-monogamous! Swinging is just another type of non-monogamy.

For me, I’m able to have sexual relationships (which include friendships with and caring for the people I’m having sex with) but romantic love is something I only feel for one person at a time (if anyone - I’m single so I don’t love anyone at the moment!)

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