FabSwingers.com forum: Your not what I’m looking for

By *ornycplnorfolk OP Man
over a year ago

Norwich

Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?

I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because it's a nicer way of saying 'I'm not attracted to you'

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?

I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.

Because people are entitled to a preference. Plenty of people have matched my looking for on my profile but a conversation with them shows that actually, we are not compatible. Also, if someone isn't attracted to someone else, that's okay too. I don't see how it makes them shallow though.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because it's a nicer way of saying 'I'm not attracted to you'

This.

I have a bodytype i like.. but ultimately the face and hair is the most important bit for me. If that makes me shallow then i guess im shallow

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?

I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.

How’s it shallow? If I don’t like someone’s face it’s not happening. If I don’t like their personality it’s not happening either. If I don’t like their physique it probably won’t be happening. If they can’t kiss it also won’t be happening. Am I shallow in your opinion?

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because it's a nicer way of saying 'I'm not attracted to you'

This.

I have a bodytype i like.. but ultimately the face and hair is the most important bit for me. If that makes me shallow then i guess im shallow

Did you change your name recently?

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?

I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.

People in general have a far better idea what they are looking for than you do lets be honest.

As for looks well nobody fucks a personality do they unless its a pity shag.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not shallow to have a preference

I generally use the line to let someone down nicely. Or I might use it if I’m not feeling it during conversation.

Just because a profile reads like you are everything someone is looking for, does not mean you are.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ornycplnorfolk OP Man
over a year ago

Norwich

He he it’s a hornets nest

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?

I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He he it’s a hornets nest "

So you're deliberately asking a controversial question, knowing full well people will defend their right to having preferences? What are you going to gain from that OP? Or do you just enjoy trolling?

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?

I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.

I couldn't possibly have sex with someone I didn't fancy!

Yes, there have been slow burners where feelings have grown without the instant attraction.

But on a site like this, it's always going to be on face value.

If that makes me shallow, so he it.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?

I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.

I’m guessing it’s because you are not what they are looking for.

Best of luck op.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ornycplnorfolk OP Man
over a year ago

Norwich

I ask to see what people general thoughts are not to provoke a war.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?

I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.

Do you struggle psychologically with the fact many women find you unattractive op ?

Perhaps you need to look inward for the causation of your frustration as opposed to insulting others ???

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ornycplnorfolk OP Man
over a year ago

Norwich

I don’t struggle at all

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't be too hard on yourself OP, they probably just don't go for the sanctimonious types is all

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Profiles aren't exhaustive. They're just an idea of what someone is looking for.

You can fit the profile text (or believe yourself to) and still not fit what they're looking for.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Don't be too hard on yourself OP, they probably just don't go for the sanctimonious types is all

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t struggle at all "

You’re probably one of the only men who doesn’t then! Well done you. I struggle.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I ask to see what people general thoughts are not to provoke a war."

So there was no need for the hornets nest comment then

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I ask to see what people general thoughts are not to provoke a war."

No war provoked you presumed you know more about what people wand than they do people are entitled to an opinion on a thread.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I don’t struggle at all "

" Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?

I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for."

You ask a daft why question

That is indicative of "struggling" with a simple concept

I note you did not say you dont needlessly insult or label

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ornycplnorfolk OP Man
over a year ago

Norwich

I don’t presume anything.

Several people I know have said the self same thing so I just posted the thoughts and comments of a few that I know

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk

Just because you think you match doesn't mean they think you match, could be any number of things it doesn't mean that they are shallow it just means they know what they are looking for and for whatever reason you don't fit it for them, just accept it and move on

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

"I don’t presume anything.

Several people I know have said the self same thing so I just posted the thoughts and comments of a few that I know "

You are right there are indeed a number of whiny men who for a variety of reasons seem to repel many women then call the woman names

You should pop onto the sub culture thread and report in

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I don’t presume anything.

Several people I know have said the self same thing so I just posted the thoughts and comments of a few that I know "

If you say "I'm perfect for someone" you're presuming.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?

I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.

"
I don't get how you can call someone 'shallow' for not being sexually attracted to someone

for us there has to be a physical attraction to have sex with someone and we are far from shallow.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ornycplnorfolk OP Man
over a year ago

Norwich

Well there we go then I shall pass on all your comments and get them to read this lot to.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're not"

Not the poster above, just helping with the OP text....

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ornycplnorfolk OP Man
over a year ago

Norwich

Thanks for you answers

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well yes, of course looks matter.

I could say ‘I like tall men who are funny’.

You could think ‘yeah I’m perfect for her’.

When in reality, I think you’re a bit short, you’re not funny, and I don’t find you attractive. "

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Well yes, of course looks matter.

I could say ‘I like tall men who are funny’.

You could think ‘yeah I’m perfect for her’.

When in reality, I think you’re a bit short, you’re not funny, and I don’t find you attractive. "

Haha, exactly - maybe the OP's perception is off, not the profiles accuracy in describing what they're after!

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do people say your not what I’m looking for when if you read their profile it’s exactly what their are looking for ?

I take t people are that shallow and just about looks rather than what their actually looking for.

Would you date an ugly woman if she had everything you wanted but she wasn’t your type at all?

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *orello-pieWoman
over a year ago

southwest

I agree, what you’re looking for on your profile doesn’t necessarily equate to instant attraction! sometimes, despite compatibility you just aren’t attracted to someone, it’s not about being shallow x I recognize that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea! We can’t be all things to all people! X

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ornycplnorfolk OP Man
over a year ago

Norwich

As I said I will pass comments on to those who asked.

I’m totally ok with who I am and can accept the we arnt all things to everyone.

Just wondered what others would say after an ask by others .

Now I know

Nothing mean personally.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well talk about ganging up on someone, !!!!

Op your entitled to your question and your opinion, this is the type of thread I would love to see a moderator step in and deal with some of the comments, like calling the OP a troll etc. Bang out of order in my opinion. If a female posted the same question as the Op and got some of the comments this guy has receivedincluding the grammar police comment, the naughty step would be a busy old place.

To answer you OP , yes it could be perceived as shallow if people went on looks alone but hey such is life. We are all entitled to use Fab and our selection process in any way we want. And looks are an important factor on here.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

Looks matter. No way am i going to get naked with someone I'm not attracted to. And don't care if people think that makes me shallow.

I decide who i want to have sex with and no one else - despite some who feel they're entitled to a shag because they fit height criteria or whatever x

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ornycplnorfolk OP Man
over a year ago

Norwich

Thanks

I got big shoulders I can handle it .. just goes to show what people are really like doesn’t it.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

You may have a body type preference on your profile but for me it always comes down to personality you may be sexy to look at but if you are ugly on the inside I’m out

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I have met people previously for socials that have ticked all my boxes on paper but there was just no spark there when we met in person.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I accept that in life and on FAB some people will like me and some people won't.

That's life.

I don't waste time or energy worrying about the ones that don't.

I concentrate on the ones that do.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Because its the truth

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do I know who's my match?! ??

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *aptinfaptastikMan
over a year ago

Derby

It’s nobody’s fault if they don’t find me attractive. Wish them good luck in their quest and move on .

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because you think you're what they're looking for, that doesn't mean you are. You may well meet basic criteria for age and interests but that doesn't mean the attraction is there. Often it's a case if what you're really NOT looking for and sometimes you don't know what that is until presented with it

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Profiles aren't exhaustive. They're just an idea of what someone is looking for.

You can fit the profile text (or believe yourself to) and still not fit what they're looking for."

Profiles are often short and don’t show everything.

I personally would never be interested in someone who couldn’t write an interesting, intelligent message - but I don’t write that on my profile.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do I know who's my match?! ?? "

They swipe right.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

Because we have freedom to choose and change our minds at will, if the spark isn’t there, it isn’t there, it’s pretty simple

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ornycplnorfolk OP Man
over a year ago

Norwich

Some good answers and some insults to and some just rude.

Get the drift though it really is down to just plain looks on the whole.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Profiles aren't exhaustive. They're just an idea of what someone is looking for.

You can fit the profile text (or believe yourself to) and still not fit what they're looking for.

Profiles are often short and don’t show everything.

I personally would never be interested in someone who couldn’t write an interesting, intelligent message - but I don’t write that on my profile."

You could say that's shallow to , dismissing a potential meet as they are not good at spelling or message writing, but that's a thing for you so people just need to lump it. We all have our preferences. Like you say you don't put that on your profile.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Somebody might think after reading my profile that I am exactly what they are looking for, I will also check out their profile and pictures, that content is enough for me to know sometimes that they are definitely not what I'm looking for.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some good answers and some insults to and some just rude.

Get the drift though it really is down to just plain looks on the whole.

Report the insults and rudeness bud, it's not acceptable whether it's aimed at women or guys. Simple.

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I would say the answer below the OP had the right one, it is a polite way to say they are not attracted to you

As you seem to be trying to draw the thread to a close I will do it for you

(thread closed by moderator)

Reply privately