FabSwingers.com forum: The nearest object to hand...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

...is going up your bum!

How fucked are you?

Name the object below!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keyboard hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vape stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Salt lamp

damn

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By *weetheart90Woman
over a year ago

Ipswich

Hairbrush

ouch!!

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

Hair brush

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hairbrush

ouch!!"

Use the handle not the spiky bit

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"Hairbrush

ouch!!"

Snap

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By *weetheart90Woman
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Hairbrush

ouch!!

Snap

I'll just move that across the room

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

Phone

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By *addoggyMan
over a year ago

leeds

[Removed by poster at 18/09/20 10:06:48]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mobile phone

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By *addoggyMan
over a year ago

leeds

My fucking lawnmower,oh Jesus I best unplug it at least.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Mobile phone "

Set vibrate setting to MAX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mobile phone

Set vibrate setting to MAX"

Naughty.. why you gonna ring me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Coffee mug

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A remote control car

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

laptop

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A remote control car"

Am I driving you up the wall?

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By *orace99Man
over a year ago

York

Toilet roll...... Could be worse I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Computer mouse, it's wireless too so need to be careful

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.

Hydrogen sulphide monitor!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nervously eyeing up that potted cactus...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a wand. Not a mini one.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"It's a wand. Not a mini one.

Do it! do it!!

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

Pair of side cutters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a wand. Not a mini one.

Do it! do it!!

D."

You spend too much time in F&B company clearly

Leave my arse alone

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"It's a wand. Not a mini one.

Do it! do it!!

You spend too much time in F&B company clearly

Leave my arse alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a claw hammer

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Phone in one hand, laptop in the other....

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By *ai24Man
over a year ago

Hull

Thank god we ain’t classing dogs as objects. That being said the next closest thing is an antler!

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

"Phone in one hand, laptop in the other.... "

Show off

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Apart from laptop, my tv remote...ouch!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Radio

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Right now, bananas

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Bella the cat.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Phone in one hand, laptop in the other....

Show off

I'm a multi tasker

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

My black cockapoo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think I could class the small teacup puppy sleeping on my lap as an sample object so I'll go for my laptop thats currently on the floor next to us.... ....it's fridaaaaaaaaaay....

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By *aughtyTwoCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

A dumbell xx

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Have a paint brush in my other hand

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By *eviant KnightMan
over a year ago

Norton

Phone charger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a paint brush in my other hand "

Bristle end first yeah...?

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

"Phone in one hand, laptop in the other....

Show off

I'm a multi tasker

Well we all know us men can’t multi task lol

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Phone in one hand, laptop in the other....

Show off

I'm a multi tasker

Well we all know us men can’t multi task lol

I don't know.... Some can

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My phone and a book x

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Is that a woman's four inch or a man's four inch?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Is that a woman's four inch or a man's four inch? "

She just showed me a pic and it's, well.... well.... It's got BROWN "paint" all over it and she's out in broad daylight too!

(I'd estimate two and a half inches)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Is that a woman's four inch or a man's four inch?

She just showed me a pic and it's, well.... well.... It's got BROWN "paint" all over it and she's out in broad daylight too!

(I'd estimate two and a half inches)"

My water bottle ...eek

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

A spirit level

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dog

!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Is that a woman's four inch or a man's four inch?

She just showed me a pic and it's, well.... well.... It's got BROWN "paint" all over it and she's out in broad daylight too!

(I'd estimate two and a half inches)

My water bottle ...eek "

Douche!

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"A spirit level "

Do it!

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Is that a woman's four inch or a man's four inch?

She just showed me a pic and it's, well.... well.... It's got BROWN "paint" all over it and she's out in broad daylight too!

(I'd estimate two and a half inches)"

You bloody liar Nip!! You absolute bloody idiot

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

"Phone in one hand, laptop in the other....

Show off

I'm a multi tasker

Well we all know us men can’t multi task lol

I don't know.... Some can

Yay there’s hope for us then x

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Phone in one hand, laptop in the other....

Show off

I'm a multi tasker

Well we all know us men can’t multi task lol

I don't know.... Some can

Yay there’s hope for us then x"

Want a demonstration?

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Is that a woman's four inch or a man's four inch?

She just showed me a pic and it's, well.... well.... It's got BROWN "paint" all over it and she's out in broad daylight too!

(I'd estimate two and a half inches)

My water bottle ...eek "

Don't you blinking start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Is that a woman's four inch or a man's four inch?

She just showed me a pic and it's, well.... well.... It's got BROWN "paint" all over it and she's out in broad daylight too!

(I'd estimate two and a half inches)

You bloody liar Nip!! You absolute bloody idiot

Truth!!!!

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Is that a woman's four inch or a man's four inch?

She just showed me a pic and it's, well.... well.... It's got BROWN "paint" all over it and she's out in broad daylight too!

(I'd estimate two and a half inches)

My water bottle ...eek

Douche!

I'm going to kill you seriously!!!!!!

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By *ouis CyphreMan
over a year ago

The Midlands

Samurai Sword. Eeeeekkkkkkk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Is that a woman's four inch or a man's four inch?

She just showed me a pic and it's, well.... well.... It's got BROWN "paint" all over it and she's out in broad daylight too!

(I'd estimate two and a half inches)

My water bottle ...eek

Douche!

I'm going to kill you seriously!!!!!! "

Stop sending me kinky garden paint brush pics then!

(I didn't even ask what the stool was for.....)

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Pencil

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Do you think we'll start seeing guys compare themselves to paintbrushes instead of TV remotes and deodorant cans

.... Never under estimate the pleasure of a 2incher

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"My phone and a book x"

Start with the phone?

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Is that a woman's four inch or a man's four inch?

She just showed me a pic and it's, well.... well.... It's got BROWN "paint" all over it and she's out in broad daylight too!

(I'd estimate two and a half inches)

My water bottle ...eek

Douche!

I'm going to kill you seriously!!!!!!

Stop sending me kinky garden paint brush pics then!

(I didn't even ask what the stool was for.....)"

You are so dead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Is that a woman's four inch or a man's four inch?

She just showed me a pic and it's, well.... well.... It's got BROWN "paint" all over it and she's out in broad daylight too!

(I'd estimate two and a half inches)

My water bottle ...eek

Douche!

I'm going to kill you seriously!!!!!!

Stop sending me kinky garden paint brush pics then!

(I didn't even ask what the stool was for.....)

You are so dead

Put the paintbrush down first yeah....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My phone and a book x

Start with the phone?

D."

Want me to film it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty fucked...

It's big

It's round

It's made out of glass

It's our patio table

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Is that a woman's four inch or a man's four inch?

She just showed me a pic and it's, well.... well.... It's got BROWN "paint" all over it and she's out in broad daylight too!

(I'd estimate two and a half inches)

My water bottle ...eek

Douche!

I'm going to kill you seriously!!!!!!

Stop sending me kinky garden paint brush pics then!

(I didn't even ask what the stool was for.....)

You are so dead

Put the paintbrush down first yeah....

How much damage can I muster with a paintbrush

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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

Wireless mouse..

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"My phone and a book x

Start with the phone?

Want me to film it

you gunna use the phone to film it?!

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Do you think we'll start seeing guys compare themselves to paintbrushes instead of TV remotes and deodorant cans

.... Never under estimate the pleasure of a 2incher

Not sure how does my brush compare to a cock?

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

"Phone in one hand, laptop in the other....

Show off

I'm a multi tasker

Well we all know us men can’t multi task lol

I don't know.... Some can

Yay there’s hope for us then x

Want a demonstration?

How could I possibly say no ..!

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By *uck knows41Man
over a year ago

Arbroath

A stainless steel sounding rod could be worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have a paint brush in my other hand

Bristle end first yeah...?

FFS

Is it a four incher?

Is that a woman's four inch or a man's four inch?

She just showed me a pic and it's, well.... well.... It's got BROWN "paint" all over it and she's out in broad daylight too!

(I'd estimate two and a half inches)

My water bottle ...eek

Douche!

I'm going to kill you seriously!!!!!!

Stop sending me kinky garden paint brush pics then!

(I didn't even ask what the stool was for.....)

You are so dead

Put the paintbrush down first yeah....

How much damage can I muster with a paintbrush

Nice pic!

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By *isaAndNicoleTransTV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

Sky remote control

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Phone in one hand, laptop in the other....

Show off

I'm a multi tasker

Well we all know us men can’t multi task lol

I don't know.... Some can

Yay there’s hope for us then x

Want a demonstration?

How could I possibly say no ..!

I've been asking myself that....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sky Q remote nooooooooooooo

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By *addoggyMan
over a year ago

leeds

"My phone and a book x

Start with the phone?

Want me to film it

"
yes please

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside

My dad's penis pump

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A chilled can of Pepsi max

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As it is in my hand it would be my phone, its not a small phone, would take quite the amount of lube and foreplay!

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By *imson87Man
over a year ago

Rossendale

"As it is in my hand it would be my phone, its not a small phone, would take quite the amount of lube and foreplay!"

Make sure you set it on vibrat befor you do then get someone too keep ringing hehehe

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By *imson87Man
over a year ago

Rossendale

"A chilled can of Pepsi max "

Ooooo that's going hurt like hell

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside

"As it is in my hand it would be my phone, its not a small phone, would take quite the amount of lube and foreplay!"

Leave the foreplay to me just make sure the phone is water resistant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Packet of lotus biscuits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My back pack. Ouch

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

A trampoline

wow

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By *ribsaMan
over a year ago

A box at end of your bed

My phone or my sofa if I had to make a choice it would be the phone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My phone or my sofa if I had to make a choice it would be the phone.

What if it rings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a few things near but I've opted for the broom handle, so at least I can crack on with my chores at the same time

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