FabSwingers.com forum: Getting on so well and then blocked with no explanation

By *amyam5627 OP Man
over a year ago

Swadlincote

As a single Male I expect not to receive replies all the while, but just lately I have had two profiles message me to say let’s chat and then block me????

The one I got asked to Kik message, but when I looked at profile is been blocked, then the second Id been swapping loads of messages and talked on phone then all of a sudden I get blocked......

Wish people would be upfront and say thanks but no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it's easier to just block than risk the possible abuse you can often receive if you do try to be honest.

There could be any number of reasons behind it.

Try not to take it personally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have same with 3 people shocking

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By *amyam5627 OP Man
over a year ago

Swadlincote

"Sometimes it's easier to just block than risk the possible abuse you can often receive if you do try to be honest.

There could be any number of reasons behind it.

Try not to take it personally.

Hi Lu,

I understand that, however I’m polite and always say even if it’s a thanks but no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes it's easier to just block than risk the possible abuse you can often receive if you do try to be honest.

There could be any number of reasons behind it.

Try not to take it personally.

Hi Lu,

I understand that, however I’m polite and always say even if it’s a thanks but no thanks "

I don't doubt you are, but they won't know that. Self preservation is what we have to do sometimes.

As I say, just try not to take it personally, don't dwell on it.

Dust yourself off and carry on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind.

This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it.

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By *amyam5627 OP Man
over a year ago

Swadlincote

"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind.

This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it. "

I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind.

This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it.

I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all "

It's not bad manners to block without explanation.

Pretend you're a woman for a second...and of 100 men you politely decline, 60 of them respond telling you what a fat/ugly/disgusting/timewasting/slut/whore/bitch/cunt you are and that they hope you die...or similar.

Would you be so keen to always say a polite no thanks?

That's what a lot of women have to deal with.

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By *nigmatic_AngelWoman
over a year ago

The place where fairies live

"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind.

This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it.

I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all "

Because most of the time if you say no thanks you either get lots of abuse for turning them down.. or they keep messaging you asking why and what can they do to change your mind.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Its a man ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind.

This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it.

I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all

It's not bad manners to block without explanation.

Would you be so keen to always say a polite no thanks?

That's what a lot of women have to deal with. "

It's shameful and disgusting how men conduct themselves and how they speak to the ladies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind.

This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it.

I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all

It's not bad manners to block without explanation.

Would you be so keen to always say a polite no thanks?

That's what a lot of women have to deal with.

It's shameful and disgusting how men conduct themselves and how they speak to the ladies.

Some men...its not just men though, some women and couples do it too.

Some people are just cunts unfortunately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single Male I expect not to receive replies all the while, but just lately I have had two profiles message me to say let’s chat and then block me????

The one I got asked to Kik message, but when I looked at profile is been blocked, then the second Id been swapping loads of messages and talked on phone then all of a sudden I get blocked......

Wish people would be upfront and say thanks but no thanks. "

Hi I've had this a few times and I kind of get the feeling the profile is fake and the number or kik they give out belongs to an unknowing third party... This may not be the case also. At the end of the day just take solace in the fact you understand that's not how to treat other people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its a man .."

Yup or a setup

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once you’ve suffered the abuse for declining an offer, or simply not replying it becomes a lot easier to just block - I’m sure plenty of people are polite, however an unfortunate majority of men are not it seems.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody owes you anything. Not even "politeness".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don’t need to explain why you blocked someone. There could be a number of reasons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deal with it. It happens to all of us, we'll never know why and nor should we care. Onwards and upwards, my man!

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By *appytochatMan
over a year ago

Deep in the New Forest

That's fab... People can do as they please. Just got to suck it up and move on. Not worth getting into one over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/09/20 00:36:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

weve just had the reverse with another couple, Arri replied to thier message saying no thanks we dont do bb, the propfile is all about how they love it, thought we had heard the end of it, i come on tonight to find messages to say, its ok they get tested etc, when i said well you could get tested a 4pm and pass, have a shag at 5pm and catch something, so to us a test means nothing, they then got arsey, we should have blocked them after the first message, cant be doing with the hastle.

as to what happened to you, maybe they changed their mind and didnt want what we just had, not saying you would, but just blocking is so much easyer, dont take it to heart, we often block peopl, that we dont want to meet, it also stops them showing up in searches in the future, if someone doesnt want to meet us, we block them so we dont bother them again

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

"Its a man ..

Yup or a setup "

Hah yep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes it's easier to just block than risk the possible abuse you can often receive if you do try to be honest.

There could be any number of reasons behind it.

Try not to take it personally.

I reply to nearly all my messages. Not those which I am clearly not looking for, they just get blocked.

I have only ever had one rude reply.

I think it really does depend on how you say no thank you

Saira x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes it's easier to just block than risk the possible abuse you can often receive if you do try to be honest.

There could be any number of reasons behind it.

Try not to take it personally.

I reply to nearly all my messages. Not those which I am clearly not looking for, they just get blocked.

I have only ever had one rude reply.

I think it really does depend on how you say no thank you

Saira x"

It doesn't always depend on how you say no thanks. I find a lot will try to find a way around the reason given for not meeting. One bloke 40 miles away,even had the cheek recently to say I can get the train to meet him. I have been on Fab on and off for 5 years.And as a previous poster says it's couples/females do it too. Far better to block.

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By *herubCheeksWoman
over a year ago

seaside

"As a single Male I expect not to receive replies all the while, but just lately I have had two profiles message me to say let’s chat and then block me????

The one I got asked to Kik message, but when I looked at profile is been blocked, then the second Id been swapping loads of messages and talked on phone then all of a sudden I get blocked......

Wish people would be upfront and say thanks but no thanks. "

Fucking rude cowards hate them men are the same on here no manners ...arrange meet ..don't go back on line for days after lol then your blocked or they've deleted account !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t worry as it’s a reflection of them not you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have same with 3 people shocking"

Keep your pecker up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes it's easier to just block than risk the possible abuse you can often receive if you do try to be honest.

There could be any number of reasons behind it.

Try not to take it personally.

I reply to nearly all my messages. Not those which I am clearly not looking for, they just get blocked.

I have only ever had one rude reply.

I think it really does depend on how you say no thank you

Saira x"

I can assure you, it doesn't!

I've had a lot of abuse on here over the years, and much of it has been in the initial message someone sends me, before I've had a chance to even say no thanks.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind.

This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it.

I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all

Because most of the time if you say no thanks you either get lots of abuse for turning them down.. or they keep messaging you asking why and what can they do to change your mind.

There must be some right horrible people on this site.

I've never once sent an abusive messege and I bet plenty others havent neither,but we are all tarred with the same brush

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind.

This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it.

I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all "

It's a valid point.

I think it's incredibly bad mannered

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind.

This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it. "

He is asking a valid question.

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

C'est la Vie

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

"C'est la Vie"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi OP I know where your coming from in the last 2 days alone I've been blocked whilst talking to 2 different women both times they messaged me first both times they seemed very keen to chat then all of a sudden with no warning or seemingly reason blocked. But they way I see it their lose and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happens, they have their reasons, just have to move on. Simple as that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't take it to heart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly, if you feel entitled to any of this, you're part of the problem.

Nobody owes you an explanation if they've decided they don't want to talk to you anymore.

They never owed you an explanation in a bar or anywhere else, they were just trying to avoid you getting violent.

Which was always bullshit.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind.

This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it.

I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all

It's not bad manners to block without explanation.

Would you be so keen to always say a polite no thanks?

That's what a lot of women have to deal with. "

Yes this is true! One minute its ohh u lovely or whatever when u say sorry not interested I become a fat ugly old cow lol! X

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

Ghosting is quite popular too ... you must never forget that fab is a supermarket for ladies ...

It’s just part and parcel of this world

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Honestly, if you feel entitled to any of this, you're part of the problem.

Nobody owes you an explanation if they've decided they don't want to talk to you anymore.

They never owed you an explanation in a bar or anywhere else, they were just trying to avoid you getting violent.

Which was always bullshit."

Where did he say he feels entitled?

How can you get violent over a message?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gotta add my two cents here

Totally understand the ladies get a tonne of messages. And on the whole blocking is easier and understandable. If they have never engaged with you, they don't owe you anything : best to move on.

However if she is already engaging in a chat with a guy, and she changes her mind - surely it's just polite to say "no thanks" . You've already established some form of connection - and to block with no reason is abit harsh.

Imagine you are in a bar and you chatting to each other. If one party is not interested, you simple tell them - you don't simply walk away with no explanation - well maybe some do lol

I always say treat people how you want to be treated. It's served me well so far.

Ps - yes it's shameful how some guys talk to ladies on here - I can only apologise on Thier behalf.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi OP I know where your coming from in the last 2 days alone I've been blocked whilst talking to 2 different women both times they messaged me first both times they seemed very keen to chat then all of a sudden with no warning or seemingly reason blocked. But they way I see it their lose and move on"

Yeap this happens alot to me too. Totally agree with this mentally - view it as their loss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happens to us women to OP,just put it behind you and move on

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Gotta add my two cents here

Totally understand the ladies get a tonne of messages. And on the whole blocking is easier and understandable. If they have never engaged with you, they don't owe you anything : best to move on.

Imagine you are in a bar and you chatting to each other. If one party is not interested, you simple tell them - you don't simply walk away with no explanation - well maybe some do lol

I always say treat people how you want to be treated. It's served me well so far.

Ps - yes it's shameful how some guys talk to ladies on here - I can only apologise on Thier behalf."

Spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody owes you an explanation if they've decided they don't want to talk to you anymore.

I don't quite agree with this.

Scenario A: You're chatting away online, by phone, text, whatever... then suddenly it stops. Not fades, the hard stop. Do they owe the other person an explanation? In this scenario, maybe not, and a block is a car NO even if the understanding behind it is absent. Perhaps the person said or did something that caused the other party to stop? Wouldn't it be NICE to know?

Scenario B: You're chatting away online, by phone, text, whatever... lots of chat... photos exchanged... learning more about each other... social meet happens... still clearly like each other... more messages, photos, etc... then suddenly it stops. Not fades, the hard stop. In this scenario, yes I absolutely DO think you OWE the other person an explanation. They have invested their time, there has been a relationship of sorts, and it's COURTESY.

Yes, I get the fact there are arseholes on here. The biggest single failing on fab is the acceptance that rudness is okay. Perhaps if if it wasn't accepted under any circumstances, in time the negative aspects here could be eradicated and the site would become a far more pleasant place for everyone?

Look at my profile... of course I had knock backs. Who hasn't? But you can ask anybody who has sent a "No thanks", "Not my type" or "Not for me" response too me if they have ever had a rude comment back? They haven't. I'm confident that I'm not the only guy who conducts himself here in this way, so please do not assume that we are all arseholes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody owes you an explanation if they've decided they don't want to talk to you anymore.

I don't quite agree with this.

Well the problem with that attitude is that if you think someone owes you something then you would also feel entitled to seek restitution.

What is the proper restitution for scenario B in this case? What are you entitled, by rights, to do in the case of them not giving you an explanation to which you feel owed?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well the problem with that attitude is that if you think someone owes you something then you would also feel entitled to seek restitution.

What is the proper restitution for scenario B in this case? What are you entitled, by rights, to do in the case of them not giving you an explanation to which you feel owed?"

I would like to know the answer to this too

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Nobody owes you an explanation if they've decided they don't want to talk to you anymore.

I don't quite agree with this.

Well the problem with that attitude is that if you think someone owes you something then you would also feel entitled to seek restitution.

What is the proper restitution for scenario B in this case? What are you entitled, by rights, to do in the case of them not giving you an explanation to which you feel owed?"

Saying I'm really sorry..I've met someone else(which is probably the likeliest explanation)is hardly the greatest inconvenience in the world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well the problem with that attitude is that if you think someone owes you something then you would also feel entitled to seek restitution."

If you have given someone your time, good manners, decency and social etiquette (which cost nothing) is a fair exchange. An expectation of manners and decency is not a sense of entitlement. And you make an assumption of restitution. Far too many people on fab make far too many assumptions.

just because people are online, doesn't mean that feelings are absent. There is a human at the other end. Being online is not an excuse to be a twat. Treat people like you'd wish to be treated.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Well the problem with that attitude is that if you think someone owes you something then you would also feel entitled to seek restitution.

just because people are online, doesn't mean that feelings are absent. There is a human at the other end. Being online is not an excuse to be a twat. Treat people like you'd wish to be treated."

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By *ire_thornMan
over a year ago

no comment

Happens all the time. Lol i have even been blocked for fabbing a pic or two.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you have given someone your time, good manners, decency and social etiquette (which cost nothing) is a fair exchange. An expectation of manners and decency is not a sense of entitlement. And you make an assumption of restitution. Far too many people on fab make far too many assumptions."

It's not an assumption - either you're owed something (in which case there would be fair restitution) or you're not. That's what "owed" means.

If you expend time/effort on someone that doesn't put them in your debt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are complicated and don't think or act in the way you might OP.

Lifes to short and precious to stress over decisions others make that you may never understand.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind.

This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it.

I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all

It's not bad manners to block without explanation.

Would you be so keen to always say a polite no thanks?

That's what a lot of women have to deal with. "
this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The block was basically a “thanks but no thanks”.

May be harsh but it makes you know where you stand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s not their loss if they’re not interested is it?

For it to be a loss you have to have wanted it in the first place.

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside

Suck it up and move on buddy, think of it as their loss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Honestly, if you feel entitled to any of this, you're part of the problem.

Nobody owes you an explanation if they've decided they don't want to talk to you anymore.

They never owed you an explanation in a bar or anywhere else, they were just trying to avoid you getting violent.

Which was always bullshit."

Couldn’t agree more.

I’ve had to do what happened to the OP due to neediness and constant messages, it was far easier to cease all contact.

I’ve had so many abusive threatening and racist messages when I have very politely rejected people, so I don’t bother now.

I’m not really arsed about how people I’m not interested in view me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This topic, or variations of it, crop up all the time. I can see and appreciate points from all sides, but it's a polarising issue.

Essentially, some people will let you down with grace and decency, others will just let you down. Each person will identify with a position.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just because people are online, doesn't mean that feelings are absent. There is a human at the other end. Being online is not an excuse to be a twat. Treat people like you'd wish to be treated."

Tell that to the ones who send vile abusive messaged when they’ve been politely rejected.

They’re the ones who force people to take a different approach. Not everyone thinks like you or will act how you want them to act.

When you’ve been harassed, had hundreds of abusive messages when you’ve been nothing but polite maybe you’ll get it.

As I said in my other post if it’s someone I’m not interested in I couldn’t care less if they view me as bad mannered for blocking for fear of abuse. They’re blocked, they can’t contact me, so it doesn’t matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who would want to talk with someone who blocked them? Surely it's win win? Ppl are allowed to change, right?

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By *amyam5627 OP Man
over a year ago

Swadlincote

"Sometimes it's easier to just block than risk the possible abuse you can often receive if you do try to be honest.

There could be any number of reasons behind it.

Try not to take it personally.

I reply to nearly all my messages. Not those which I am clearly not looking for, they just get blocked.

I have only ever had one rude reply.

I think it really does depend on how you say no thank you

Saira x"

Same here, if they are rude after saying thanks but no thanks to them then I will block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have already pointed out, it has nothing to do with manners or politeness.

For whatever reason if they decided not to pursue it further, they might not have felt safe to tell you "no, thank you". I've had this before where the guy tried to get me to explain and give a reason and when I failed to come up with a reason that he found satisfactory, he started abusing and threatening me. That was a horrible experience and I don't care that the majority of men will be able to take a "no, thank you" and move on. I will never put myself in that situation again.

In a bar or face to face situation, I might smile, try to laugh it off and move away rather than being abrupt and saying no, but again, that is mostly because I will be worried about physical or verbal abuse.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Block, move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nobody owes you an explanation if they've decided they don't want to talk to you anymore.

I don't quite agree with this.

Well said,and I totally agree with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s the internet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As a single Male I expect not to receive replies all the while, but just lately I have had two profiles message me to say let’s chat and then block me????

The one I got asked to Kik message, but when I looked at profile is been blocked, then the second Id been swapping loads of messages and talked on phone then all of a sudden I get blocked......

Wish people would be upfront and say thanks but no thanks. "

People do it cause they know they're never gonna meet so it's no problem to them to do it ,they do it and don't give a fuck that they do it or how it makes the other person on the receiving end feel...tbh ,in my opinion ,they have absolutely no respect or class whatsoever...they just don't give a fuck about anyone .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They'd cum so didn't need you anymore

... I had a guy message to say he thought he had seen me, I replied that he had, hd asked if I would like to chat, I said, I am fine with chatting. Then he said he would love to chat to see if things could progress (if he had attempted to read my profile, he would've known he was not for me)... I said they wouldn't... No more chatting... Don't ask to bloody chat!! But OP... Did you talk sex or wank chat... I don't so don't really have your problem

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By *amyam5627 OP Man
over a year ago

Swadlincote

Well from all the replies to the post I believe I may have opened a can of worms............

Some people agree with me and some don’t, I totally understand both sides of the story and the original post was just to point out that I’d of been happy with a thanks but no thanksgiving even after we had talked on phone and via message.

I understand that some of the respondents may have had issues in the past with rude people, and I’m sorry that they have.

I’ve put it behind me and just wrote off the fact that it happened,do onwards and upwards as they say...........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well from all the replies to the post I believe I may have opened a can of worms............

I understand that some of the respondents may have had issues in the past with rude people, and I’m sorry that they have.

I’ve put it behind me and just wrote off the fact that it happened,do onwards and upwards as they say...........

It's all ya can do, if you don't want to drive yourself mental

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By *amyam5627 OP Man
over a year ago

Swadlincote

" It's all ya can do, if you don't want to drive yourself mental

Trust me, I’m already on the slippery slope of going doolally

I actually do some party time work for a professor of psychology and I’m pretty sure I’m one of their case studies ????

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Expectations count.

Expect that most people will not be matched mutually in a sufficient extent to need to continue dialogue or to meet. Blocks stop the process. Even if 1 side thinks it's great, it may not quite make the grade for the others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Expectations count.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

that to the ones who send vile abusive messaged when they’ve been politely rejected.

People who send vile messages are a big problem, and believe me I'm not saying that's okay either. It clearly isn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Expectations count.

Expectation is the mother of disappointment.

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