Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
![]() | Back to forum list |
![]() | Back to The Lounge |
Jump to newest | ![]() |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Sometimes it's easier to just block than risk the possible abuse you can often receive if you do try to be honest. There could be any number of reasons behind it. Try not to take it personally. Lu ![]() Hi Lu, I understand that, however I’m polite and always say even if it’s a thanks but no thanks | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Sometimes it's easier to just block than risk the possible abuse you can often receive if you do try to be honest. There could be any number of reasons behind it. Try not to take it personally. Lu ![]() I don't doubt you are, but they won't know that. Self preservation is what we have to do sometimes. As I say, just try not to take it personally, don't dwell on it. Dust yourself off and carry on ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind. This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it. " I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind. This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it. I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all " It's not bad manners to block without explanation. Pretend you're a woman for a second...and of 100 men you politely decline, 60 of them respond telling you what a fat/ugly/disgusting/timewasting/slut/whore/bitch/cunt you are and that they hope you die...or similar. Would you be so keen to always say a polite no thanks? That's what a lot of women have to deal with. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind. This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it. I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all " Because most of the time if you say no thanks you either get lots of abuse for turning them down.. or they keep messaging you asking why and what can they do to change your mind. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind. This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it. I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all It's not bad manners to block without explanation. Pretend you're a woman for a second...and of 100 men you politely decline, 60 of them respond telling you what a fat/ugly/disgusting/timewasting/slut/whore/bitch/cunt you are and that they hope you die...or similar. Would you be so keen to always say a polite no thanks? That's what a lot of women have to deal with. " It's shameful and disgusting how men conduct themselves and how they speak to the ladies. ![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind. This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it. I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all It's not bad manners to block without explanation. Pretend you're a woman for a second...and of 100 men you politely decline, 60 of them respond telling you what a fat/ugly/disgusting/timewasting/slut/whore/bitch/cunt you are and that they hope you die...or similar. Would you be so keen to always say a polite no thanks? That's what a lot of women have to deal with. It's shameful and disgusting how men conduct themselves and how they speak to the ladies. ![]() ![]() Some men...its not just men though, some women and couples do it too. Some people are just cunts unfortunately. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As a single Male I expect not to receive replies all the while, but just lately I have had two profiles message me to say let’s chat and then block me???? The one I got asked to Kik message, but when I looked at profile is been blocked, then the second Id been swapping loads of messages and talked on phone then all of a sudden I get blocked...... Wish people would be upfront and say thanks but no thanks. " Hi I've had this a few times and I kind of get the feeling the profile is fake and the number or kik they give out belongs to an unknowing third party... This may not be the case also. At the end of the day just take solace in the fact you understand that's not how to treat other people ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Its a man .. Yup or a setup " Hah yep ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Sometimes it's easier to just block than risk the possible abuse you can often receive if you do try to be honest. There could be any number of reasons behind it. Try not to take it personally. Lu ![]() I reply to nearly all my messages. Not those which I am clearly not looking for, they just get blocked. I have only ever had one rude reply. I think it really does depend on how you say no thank you Saira x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Sometimes it's easier to just block than risk the possible abuse you can often receive if you do try to be honest. There could be any number of reasons behind it. Try not to take it personally. Lu ![]() It doesn't always depend on how you say no thanks. I find a lot will try to find a way around the reason given for not meeting. One bloke 40 miles away,even had the cheek recently to say I can get the train to meet him. I have been on Fab on and off for 5 years.And as a previous poster says it's couples/females do it too. Far better to block. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As a single Male I expect not to receive replies all the while, but just lately I have had two profiles message me to say let’s chat and then block me???? The one I got asked to Kik message, but when I looked at profile is been blocked, then the second Id been swapping loads of messages and talked on phone then all of a sudden I get blocked...... Wish people would be upfront and say thanks but no thanks. " Fucking rude cowards hate them men are the same on here no manners ...arrange meet ..don't go back on line for days after lol then your blocked or they've deleted account ! ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have same with 3 people shocking" Keep your pecker up. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Sometimes it's easier to just block than risk the possible abuse you can often receive if you do try to be honest. There could be any number of reasons behind it. Try not to take it personally. Lu ![]() I can assure you, it doesn't! I've had a lot of abuse on here over the years, and much of it has been in the initial message someone sends me, before I've had a chance to even say no thanks. Lu ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind. This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it. I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all Because most of the time if you say no thanks you either get lots of abuse for turning them down.. or they keep messaging you asking why and what can they do to change your mind. " There must be some right horrible people on this site. I've never once sent an abusive messege and I bet plenty others havent neither,but we are all tarred with the same brush | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind. This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it. I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all " It's a valid point. I think it's incredibly bad mannered | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind. This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it. " He is asking a valid question. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"C'est la Vie" | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind. This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it. I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all It's not bad manners to block without explanation. Pretend you're a woman for a second...and of 100 men you politely decline, 60 of them respond telling you what a fat/ugly/disgusting/timewasting/slut/whore/bitch/cunt you are and that they hope you die...or similar. Would you be so keen to always say a polite no thanks? That's what a lot of women have to deal with. " Yes this is true! One minute its ohh u lovely or whatever when u say sorry not interested I become a fat ugly old cow lol! X | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Honestly, if you feel entitled to any of this, you're part of the problem. Nobody owes you an explanation if they've decided they don't want to talk to you anymore. They never owed you an explanation in a bar or anywhere else, they were just trying to avoid you getting violent. Which was always bullshit." Where did he say he feels entitled? How can you get violent over a message? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hi OP I know where your coming from in the last 2 days alone I've been blocked whilst talking to 2 different women both times they messaged me first both times they seemed very keen to chat then all of a sudden with no warning or seemingly reason blocked. But they way I see it their lose and move on" Yeap this happens alot to me too. Totally agree with this mentally - view it as their loss. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Gotta add my two cents here Totally understand the ladies get a tonne of messages. And on the whole blocking is easier and understandable. If they have never engaged with you, they don't owe you anything : best to move on. However if she is already engaging in a chat with a guy, and she changes her mind - surely it's just polite to say "no thanks" . You've already established some form of connection - and to block with no reason is abit harsh. Imagine you are in a bar and you chatting to each other. If one party is not interested, you simple tell them - you don't simply walk away with no explanation - well maybe some do lol I always say treat people how you want to be treated. It's served me well so far. Ps - yes it's shameful how some guys talk to ladies on here - I can only apologise on Thier behalf." Spot on | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Nobody owes you an explanation if they've decided they don't want to talk to you anymore. " I don't quite agree with this. Scenario A: You're chatting away online, by phone, text, whatever... then suddenly it stops. Not fades, the hard stop. Do they owe the other person an explanation? In this scenario, maybe not, and a block is a car NO even if the understanding behind it is absent. Perhaps the person said or did something that caused the other party to stop? Wouldn't it be NICE to know? Scenario B: You're chatting away online, by phone, text, whatever... lots of chat... photos exchanged... learning more about each other... social meet happens... still clearly like each other... more messages, photos, etc... then suddenly it stops. Not fades, the hard stop. In this scenario, yes I absolutely DO think you OWE the other person an explanation. They have invested their time, there has been a relationship of sorts, and it's COURTESY. Yes, I get the fact there are arseholes on here. The biggest single failing on fab is the acceptance that rudness is okay. Perhaps if if it wasn't accepted under any circumstances, in time the negative aspects here could be eradicated and the site would become a far more pleasant place for everyone? Look at my profile... of course I had knock backs. Who hasn't? But you can ask anybody who has sent a "No thanks", "Not my type" or "Not for me" response too me if they have ever had a rude comment back? They haven't. I'm confident that I'm not the only guy who conducts himself here in this way, so please do not assume that we are all arseholes. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Nobody owes you an explanation if they've decided they don't want to talk to you anymore. I don't quite agree with this. Scenario A: You're chatting away online, by phone, text, whatever... then suddenly it stops. Not fades, the hard stop. Do they owe the other person an explanation? In this scenario, maybe not, and a block is a car NO even if the understanding behind it is absent. Perhaps the person said or did something that caused the other party to stop? Wouldn't it be NICE to know? Scenario B: You're chatting away online, by phone, text, whatever... lots of chat... photos exchanged... learning more about each other... social meet happens... still clearly like each other... more messages, photos, etc... then suddenly it stops. Not fades, the hard stop. In this scenario, yes I absolutely DO think you OWE the other person an explanation. They have invested their time, there has been a relationship of sorts, and it's COURTESY. Yes, I get the fact there are arseholes on here. The biggest single failing on fab is the acceptance that rudness is okay. Perhaps if if it wasn't accepted under any circumstances, in time the negative aspects here could be eradicated and the site would become a far more pleasant place for everyone? Look at my profile... of course I had knock backs. Who hasn't? But you can ask anybody who has sent a "No thanks", "Not my type" or "Not for me" response too me if they have ever had a rude comment back? They haven't. I'm confident that I'm not the only guy who conducts himself here in this way, so please do not assume that we are all arseholes." Well the problem with that attitude is that if you think someone owes you something then you would also feel entitled to seek restitution. What is the proper restitution for scenario B in this case? What are you entitled, by rights, to do in the case of them not giving you an explanation to which you feel owed? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Well the problem with that attitude is that if you think someone owes you something then you would also feel entitled to seek restitution. What is the proper restitution for scenario B in this case? What are you entitled, by rights, to do in the case of them not giving you an explanation to which you feel owed?" I would like to know the answer to this too | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Nobody owes you an explanation if they've decided they don't want to talk to you anymore. I don't quite agree with this. Scenario A: You're chatting away online, by phone, text, whatever... then suddenly it stops. Not fades, the hard stop. Do they owe the other person an explanation? In this scenario, maybe not, and a block is a car NO even if the understanding behind it is absent. Perhaps the person said or did something that caused the other party to stop? Wouldn't it be NICE to know? Scenario B: You're chatting away online, by phone, text, whatever... lots of chat... photos exchanged... learning more about each other... social meet happens... still clearly like each other... more messages, photos, etc... then suddenly it stops. Not fades, the hard stop. In this scenario, yes I absolutely DO think you OWE the other person an explanation. They have invested their time, there has been a relationship of sorts, and it's COURTESY. Yes, I get the fact there are arseholes on here. The biggest single failing on fab is the acceptance that rudness is okay. Perhaps if if it wasn't accepted under any circumstances, in time the negative aspects here could be eradicated and the site would become a far more pleasant place for everyone? Look at my profile... of course I had knock backs. Who hasn't? But you can ask anybody who has sent a "No thanks", "Not my type" or "Not for me" response too me if they have ever had a rude comment back? They haven't. I'm confident that I'm not the only guy who conducts himself here in this way, so please do not assume that we are all arseholes. Well the problem with that attitude is that if you think someone owes you something then you would also feel entitled to seek restitution. What is the proper restitution for scenario B in this case? What are you entitled, by rights, to do in the case of them not giving you an explanation to which you feel owed?" Saying I'm really sorry..I've met someone else(which is probably the likeliest explanation)is hardly the greatest inconvenience in the world. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well the problem with that attitude is that if you think someone owes you something then you would also feel entitled to seek restitution." If you have given someone your time, good manners, decency and social etiquette (which cost nothing) is a fair exchange. An expectation of manners and decency is not a sense of entitlement. And you make an assumption of restitution. Far too many people on fab make far too many assumptions. just because people are online, doesn't mean that feelings are absent. There is a human at the other end. Being online is not an excuse to be a twat. Treat people like you'd wish to be treated. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well the problem with that attitude is that if you think someone owes you something then you would also feel entitled to seek restitution. If you have given someone your time, good manners, decency and social etiquette (which cost nothing) is a fair exchange. An expectation of manners and decency is not a sense of entitlement. And you make an assumption of restitution. Far too many people on fab make far too many assumptions. just because people are online, doesn't mean that feelings are absent. There is a human at the other end. Being online is not an excuse to be a twat. Treat people like you'd wish to be treated." ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If you have given someone your time, good manners, decency and social etiquette (which cost nothing) is a fair exchange. An expectation of manners and decency is not a sense of entitlement. And you make an assumption of restitution. Far too many people on fab make far too many assumptions." It's not an assumption - either you're owed something (in which case there would be fair restitution) or you're not. That's what "owed" means. If you expend time/effort on someone that doesn't put them in your debt. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You give an explanation to some and all hell lets loose with either vile messages or persistent pestering to change your mind. This thread itself goes to show that someone not being interested is not accepted to the point a thread is created on it. I’ve accepted it,just wondering why they can’t say thank you but no thank you, I say that if I’m not interested or don’t think suitable, it’s just manners after all It's not bad manners to block without explanation. Pretend you're a woman for a second...and of 100 men you politely decline, 60 of them respond telling you what a fat/ugly/disgusting/timewasting/slut/whore/bitch/cunt you are and that they hope you die...or similar. Would you be so keen to always say a polite no thanks? That's what a lot of women have to deal with. " this ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hi OP I know where your coming from in the last 2 days alone I've been blocked whilst talking to 2 different women both times they messaged me first both times they seemed very keen to chat then all of a sudden with no warning or seemingly reason blocked. But they way I see it their lose and move on" It’s not their loss if they’re not interested is it? For it to be a loss you have to have wanted it in the first place. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Honestly, if you feel entitled to any of this, you're part of the problem. Nobody owes you an explanation if they've decided they don't want to talk to you anymore. They never owed you an explanation in a bar or anywhere else, they were just trying to avoid you getting violent. Which was always bullshit." Couldn’t agree more. I’ve had to do what happened to the OP due to neediness and constant messages, it was far easier to cease all contact. I’ve had so many abusive threatening and racist messages when I have very politely rejected people, so I don’t bother now. I’m not really arsed about how people I’m not interested in view me. ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" just because people are online, doesn't mean that feelings are absent. There is a human at the other end. Being online is not an excuse to be a twat. Treat people like you'd wish to be treated." Tell that to the ones who send vile abusive messaged when they’ve been politely rejected. They’re the ones who force people to take a different approach. Not everyone thinks like you or will act how you want them to act. When you’ve been harassed, had hundreds of abusive messages when you’ve been nothing but polite maybe you’ll get it. As I said in my other post if it’s someone I’m not interested in I couldn’t care less if they view me as bad mannered for blocking for fear of abuse. They’re blocked, they can’t contact me, so it doesn’t matter. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Sometimes it's easier to just block than risk the possible abuse you can often receive if you do try to be honest. There could be any number of reasons behind it. Try not to take it personally. Lu ![]() Same here, if they are rude after saying thanks but no thanks to them then I will block. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Nobody owes you an explanation if they've decided they don't want to talk to you anymore. I don't quite agree with this. Scenario A: You're chatting away online, by phone, text, whatever... then suddenly it stops. Not fades, the hard stop. Do they owe the other person an explanation? In this scenario, maybe not, and a block is a car NO even if the understanding behind it is absent. Perhaps the person said or did something that caused the other party to stop? Wouldn't it be NICE to know? Scenario B: You're chatting away online, by phone, text, whatever... lots of chat... photos exchanged... learning more about each other... social meet happens... still clearly like each other... more messages, photos, etc... then suddenly it stops. Not fades, the hard stop. In this scenario, yes I absolutely DO think you OWE the other person an explanation. They have invested their time, there has been a relationship of sorts, and it's COURTESY. Yes, I get the fact there are arseholes on here. The biggest single failing on fab is the acceptance that rudness is okay. Perhaps if if it wasn't accepted under any circumstances, in time the negative aspects here could be eradicated and the site would become a far more pleasant place for everyone? Look at my profile... of course I had knock backs. Who hasn't? But you can ask anybody who has sent a "No thanks", "Not my type" or "Not for me" response too me if they have ever had a rude comment back? They haven't. I'm confident that I'm not the only guy who conducts himself here in this way, so please do not assume that we are all arseholes." Well said,and I totally agree with you | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As a single Male I expect not to receive replies all the while, but just lately I have had two profiles message me to say let’s chat and then block me???? The one I got asked to Kik message, but when I looked at profile is been blocked, then the second Id been swapping loads of messages and talked on phone then all of a sudden I get blocked...... Wish people would be upfront and say thanks but no thanks. " People do it cause they know they're never gonna meet so it's no problem to them to do it ,they do it and don't give a fuck that they do it or how it makes the other person on the receiving end feel...tbh ,in my opinion ,they have absolutely no respect or class whatsoever...they just don't give a fuck about anyone . | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
![]() ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Well from all the replies to the post I believe I may have opened a can of worms............ Some people agree with me and some don’t, I totally understand both sides of the story and the original post was just to point out that I’d of been happy with a thanks but no thanksgiving even after we had talked on phone and via message. I understand that some of the respondents may have had issues in the past with rude people, and I’m sorry that they have. I’ve put it behind me and just wrote off the fact that it happened,do onwards and upwards as they say........... ![]() ![]() It's all ya can do, if you don't want to drive yourself mental ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" It's all ya can do, if you don't want to drive yourself mental ![]() Trust me, I’m already on the slippery slope of going doolally ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Expectations count. Expect that most people will not be matched mutually in a sufficient extent to need to continue dialogue or to meet. Blocks stop the process. Even if 1 side thinks it's great, it may not quite make the grade for the others. " ![]() | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" that to the ones who send vile abusive messaged when they’ve been politely rejected. " People who send vile messages are a big problem, and believe me I'm not saying that's okay either. It clearly isn't. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Expectations count. " Expectation is the mother of disappointment. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top | ![]() |