FabSwingers.com forum: How to stop feeling miserable

By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Miserable day, feel miserable. Keep thinking about things over and over... How do you get yourself to snap out of it and stop worrying about things you can't change?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Decide you're not going to just sit and mope about it and get on with pottering around

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By *ot - CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Backtrack and figure out what made you feel miserable today.

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By *hisisntpofMan
over a year ago

bristol

i think of something i need to do then do something totally irrelevent

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Backtrack and figure out what made you feel miserable today. "
so... Dwell on it even more? Not quite seeing that logic!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually go out for a run or a walk

Her x

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Distraction usually works for me - finding things to keep my mind busy and away from the things that have been occupying it - find something I enjoy doing and focus on that.

If I can, talking it through with either the person it concerns (if it's that type of problem) or a trusted confidante also helps - often just hearing someone else's perspective helps wobble the head and make sense of things.

Or failing all that, writing yourself an email often works, the more you write it out, the more you either get your head round it or you realise how little it matters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't reflect on why you feel that way

Get yourself a few go to tunes that make you feel uplifted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you answered it for yourself.

stop worrying about things out of your control. you cant do anything about it.

those things which are causing you to feel miserable and over think cast aside.

if its a person remove them from your life and if thats impossible reduce the amount of access they have to you.

do not reply to texts, let them think about things.

do you wish to say what the issue is thats causing you to feel this way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Distract yourself with something or talk to someone directly to try and understand why you feel caught in that cycle.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Try not to worry about things out of your control.

Negative thoughts don't help, but I think you already know that.

I do some exercise, it gives you a natural high. Also put on some lively, happy music, dance to it and sing your heart out.

Failing that allow yourself some time to feel low, eat chocolate, then remember that tomorrow is a new day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Miserable day, feel miserable. Keep thinking about things over and over... How do you get yourself to snap out of it and stop worrying about things you can't change? "

I know that feeling OP

Been a fucker of a day. Lots going round my mind. Best advise I have is go and do something constructive - make your self feel better.

Go for a run, gym or even play on that console game you've been putting off for ages.

But don't wollow in the what it's and endless conversations in your head.

If none of that work....some good sex always helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meditate and breathe, headspace and calm apps are good, worst thing you can say to a worrier is try not to worry

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By *ot - CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Backtrack and figure out what made you feel miserable today. so... Dwell on it even more? Not quite seeing that logic! "

You did ask how do YOU snap out of it.

If you can figure out what made you feel miserable you can work it out from there.Talking about your problems is the best way. You can`t just snap out of feeling miserable. Its like saying to someone with depression it could be worse snap out of it.

We hope you feel happier soon x

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By *ot - CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Meditate and breathe, headspace and calm apps are good, worst thing you can say to a worrier is try not to worry

Good advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meditate and breathe, headspace and calm apps are good, worst thing you can say to a worrier is try not to worry

Good advice

Vastly experienced

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

I've been feeling a bit that way today. Lots of stuff going on I can't control & my anxiety was creeping up & felt a bit overwhelmed.

So, rather than focusing on the big stuff, I decided to direct my attention towards something I can control & I set about tidying the messy corner in the kitchen. It definitely helped.

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By *ot - CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Meditate and breathe, headspace and calm apps are good, worst thing you can say to a worrier is try not to worry

Good advice

Vastly experienced

We listen to Jason Stephenson for sleep meditation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look at what you CAN change and you'll soon distract and motivate yourself with that. Hope you're feeling better soon.....

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Think about sexy fun

Have sexy fun

Think about holidays

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

There are three categories of things that help when you're in a depressive spiral (or related).

Distract/ wallow: do things that make you feel good, even if they're not good for you. Bath, chocolate, computer games, wank. It doesn't do anything to help you climb out, but it might give your mind a rest and help you recover from the psychological battering. This is not a long term solution on its own.

Do things that are positive and make you feel good about yourself. Work on a hobby, do some DIY, things that in general help you feel better about yourself but aren't necessarily fixing the thing.

Final step: evaluate and change things. Given the OP, don't do this for a couple of days at least (possibly longer). You need some resilience. What went wrong and what should you change? This isn't an exercise in beating yourself up, it's learning for next time. If it re-triggers this mood, go back to steps one or two and come back to it when you're stronger.

Also meditation, self talk, enough to drink (non alcoholic), enough sleep, etc.

Feel better soon x

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

So sorry you're feeling like that OP, know the feeling.

If you figure out the solution you should do training courses.

Or make a magic elixir and bottle it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or make a magic elixir and bottle it. "

That's been done already, it's called Gin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But in all seriousness OP, I can't give much advice but hope you feel better soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Meditate and breathe, headspace and calm apps are good, worst thing you can say to a worrier is try not to worry

Good advice

Vastly experienced

We listen to Jason Stephenson for sleep meditation

Not heard of him but will check it out, I'm in your neck of the woods soon, drop us a message

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

Music, wine and a good laugh with the girls

failing that wine, chocolate and a girly hour with your toy box

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

Music , play guitar , reading

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go out in the car somewhere away from people and scream and scream and scream.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"Go out in the car somewhere away from people and scream and scream and scream. "

I do that alot !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Push yourself towards some distraction. Preferably physical like dance and walk.. to boost your endorphins! Hope things look better for you tomorrow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your triggers are your teachers.

What triggered you, what was the underlying emotion. Look at what it was, and examine it. Be gentle with yourself and don’t judge yourself.

Hippy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Miserable day, feel miserable. Keep thinking about things over and over... How do you get yourself to snap out of it and stop worrying about things you can't change? "

Have sex it's cure for everything.

Try a herbal tea.

I drink turmeric at the moment very good for de cluttering the mind.

Music therapy

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By *ice guy 77Man
over a year ago

ashford

Have a nice cup of tea, sorted

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I just wanted to say OP your avatar is absolutely brilliant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go out in the car somewhere away from people and scream and scream and scream.

I do that alot !

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By *randmrsmanchesterCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Kitchen disco.

Put music on and have a dance around/clean

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

"Miserable day, feel miserable. Keep thinking about things over and over... How do you get yourself to snap out of it and stop worrying about things you can't change? "

I journal and write it down then make a cup of tea and come back and read it over. I find writing the stuff down that really bothers me helps me process it. Sometimes I find old journals and read them know and think thank goodness I grew on from how I felt then or remember something I learned from it all. I hope you can end the day on a peaceful mindset.

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

"Meditate and breathe, headspace and calm apps are good, worst thing you can say to a worrier is try not to worry

Good advice

Headspace is a brilliant app, been using it for years!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get some pillows and beat the shit out of them

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Get some pillows and beat the shit out of them"
Good call. I very much wanted to smash things. maybe myself!

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"Miserable day, feel miserable. Keep thinking about things over and over... How do you get yourself to snap out of it and stop worrying about things you can't change? "

Go for a run, cuddle my dogs and eat cream cakes.

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By *yronMan
over a year ago

grangemouth

Depression works with everyone in different ways. For me, I sometimes have to let it run its course and then look for things that make me happy, even if that's just sitting in the flat on my own. Other times, it can be going out, or finding something to do that I enjoy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blast your favorite song and dance around your kitchen or living room !! It has a way of making you forget all your worries if even for just a few moments.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Miserable day, feel miserable. Keep thinking about things over and over... How do you get yourself to snap out of it and stop worrying about things you can't change? "

Think about things you can change

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I just wanted to say OP your avatar is absolutely brilliant! "

Thanks! I'm dull like that!

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Meditate and breathe, headspace and calm apps are good, worst thing you can say to a worrier is try not to worry

Good advice

Headspace is a brilliant app, been using it for years! "

Oh I love headspace. Spent many nights in Rainy Day Antiques! Not something I really find helps clear my mind though, just helps me sleep.

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Miserable day, feel miserable. Keep thinking about things over and over... How do you get yourself to snap out of it and stop worrying about things you can't change?

Think about things you can change

Yeah but that'd be someones alive / dead status... I don't think that's the right way to go :D

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

When people say ..dont think about things you cant change ..if you could do that, you wouldnt be miserable.

It's like saying ..just snap out of it

Easier said than done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffered with very bad depression at the start of April last year it took me all the way till October to go back into work that's how miserable I was. Not once did I think about ending it all all but it did make me realise that I needed to do something about it, change is what I needed

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"I suffered with very bad depression at the start of April last year it took me all the way till October to go back into work that's how miserable I was. Not once did I think about ending it all all but it did make me realise that I needed to do something about it, change is what I needed"

It can affect different people in different ways.

It's been ignored for decades in this country and even now NHS funding has been slashed.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

"When people say ..dont think about things you cant change ..if you could do that, you wouldnt be miserable.

It's like saying ..just snap out of it

Easier said than done."

No but you can segregate things you can change from those you can’t.

Then you can come up with a plan for the things you can change.

The things you can’t change you can schedule for yourself when you’re going to choose to worry about them. You can decide to focus on the other things instead.

Then (I find) I somehow stop worrying about them.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"When people say ..dont think about things you cant change ..if you could do that, you wouldnt be miserable.

It's like saying ..just snap out of it

Easier said than done.

No but you can segregate things you can change from those you can’t.

Then you can come up with a plan for the things you can change.

The things you can’t change you can schedule for yourself when you’re going to choose to worry about them. You can decide to focus on the other things instead.

Then (I find) I somehow stop worrying about them. "

Different people process things differently.

When I worry about something, even something trivial, I cant let go of it

You dont choose to worry about something..if your mind works in a certain way you dont have a choice.

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside

Sometimes you just gotta ride that shit out, eventually chemical balance in the brain gets restored as the things going tits up in your life go away or at least don't pile up and up.

Your best bet to influencing your state of mind i think is to either occupy yourself with something distracting that requires your focus or to tackle any of the issues in your life that you can do something about, the buzz from fixing one little thing can often be enough of a reprieve to help you think clearly and objectively about other problems.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"When people say ..dont think about things you cant change ..if you could do that, you wouldnt be miserable.

It's like saying ..just snap out of it

Easier said than done.

No but you can segregate things you can change from those you can’t.

Then you can come up with a plan for the things you can change.

The things you can’t change you can schedule for yourself when you’re going to choose to worry about them. You can decide to focus on the other things instead.

Then (I find) I somehow stop worrying about them.

Different people process things differently.

When I worry about something, even something trivial, I cant let go of it

You dont choose to worry about something..if your mind works in a certain way you dont have a choice."

Agreed.

There are ways out, but gee, I think most people would just snap out of it if they could

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"When people say ..dont think about things you cant change ..if you could do that, you wouldnt be miserable.

It's like saying ..just snap out of it

Easier said than done.

No but you can segregate things you can change from those you can’t.

Then you can come up with a plan for the things you can change.

The things you can’t change you can schedule for yourself when you’re going to choose to worry about them. You can decide to focus on the other things instead.

Then (I find) I somehow stop worrying about them.

Different people process things differently.

When I worry about something, even something trivial, I cant let go of it

You dont choose to worry about something..if your mind works in a certain way you dont have a choice.

Agreed.

There are ways out, but gee, I think most people would just snap out of it if they could "

Course they would.

Its the equivalent of saying there are plenty more fish in the sea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A course i did with an excellent and very experienced psychologist talked about happiness in terms of being a chiice... 'Chose to be happy', 'chose to be unhappy'

Initially it is very frustrating 'happiness isn't a choice, how can it be! '... But once your brain makes the mental acceptance 'I'm going to be happy'.. Then you start to develop and implement your plan to get to happiness

It's something I'm very passionate about

.. Welcome to discuss in DM if anyone would like to explore further

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one thing i recommend people to do is buy a punch bag.

you'll be surprised how much frustration you can take out on it and after your so exhausted that problem seems tiny.

you can even tape a pic of the person you hate the most to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Miserable day, feel miserable. Keep thinking about things over and over... How do you get yourself to snap out of it and stop worrying about things you can't change? "

Can highly recommend meditation. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always read a good book

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go for a work, visit friends or workout. Chocolate works wonders too

hope you're feeling better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stroke a dog or cat..

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