FabSwingers.com forum: Soul searching

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

They say the only constant thing in life is change.

Does change terrify you? Does change make you excited? Do you embrace or dread them?

What's hardest to change for you? And persevere at it?

For me it could be changes which benefit me.. surprisingly. Sometimes I think of it as self sabotaging my own happiness. Strange isnt it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nooo things must never change

Or at least so so slowly it is almost imperceptible and one day you just wake up somewhere else and didnt even notice (never happens I know)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Change is scary especially if it is out of your control. If it's a change you are making then it's a step into the unknown and you don't know how it will play out. Sometimes change is good and sometimes not but you will never know until you take the first step.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Errrrmmmm ..

I lost my job this year - so having a financial change hasn't been pleasant.

But I'm definitely embracing the change of pace

I used to embrace change a lot more - constantly on the move, never staying in the same country or job for long.

I used to feel sick hearing the word 'routine '

Now I have a place I call home which is mine

I love that I can shut the door.

I wouldn't want to change that.

But I'm open to everything else changing - bring it on!

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By *evil-AngelWoman
over a year ago

...

"They say the only constant thing in life is change.

Does change terrify you? Does change make you excited? Do you embrace or dread them?

What's hardest to change for you? And persevere at it?

For me it could be changes which benefit me.. surprisingly. Sometimes I think of it as self sabotaging my own happiness. Strange isnt it?

I try to see change as an opportunity rather than a challenge. It's easier said than done sometimes though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nooo things must never change

Or at least so so slowly it is almost imperceptible and one day you just wake up somewhere else and didnt even notice (never happens I know) "

Described my dreams

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Change is scary especially if it is out of your control. If it's a change you are making then it's a step into the unknown and you don't know how it will play out. Sometimes change is good and sometimes not but you will never know until you take the first step."

The unknown is scary then?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Errrrmmmm ..

I lost my job this year - so having a financial change hasn't been pleasant.

But I'm definitely embracing the change of pace

I used to embrace change a lot more - constantly on the move, never staying in the same country or job for long.

I used to feel sick hearing the word 'routine '

Now I have a place I call home which is mine

I love that I can shut the door.

I wouldn't want to change that.

But I'm open to everything else changing - bring it on!

I like this description. Embracing less busy life sounds good too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They say the only constant thing in life is change.

Does change terrify you? Does change make you excited? Do you embrace or dread them?

What's hardest to change for you? And persevere at it?

For me it could be changes which benefit me.. surprisingly. Sometimes I think of it as self sabotaging my own happiness. Strange isnt it?

I try to see change as an opportunity rather than a challenge. It's easier said than done sometimes though"

That's a good twist on it!

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I don’t think I am good with too much change, I still like a routine to my life, I know where I am then, too much change confuddles my brain and makes me feel uneasy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The unknown is scary then?"

Yes. The unknown is always scary. A change takes you away from what is familiar and safe and routine (humans being very much creatures of habit).

It's like trying to break a bad habit - the brain is so used to it that trying to steer in another direction takes concentration and willpower to keep going.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think change becomes more of a challenge the older you grow.

I think as a group humans resist change. I'm looking at how people are trying to return to pre covid times and longing for "normality" rather than looking at ways to adapt.

Personally it depends what the change is. If it's good I relish it, if it's bad I don't. Sometimes though I'm glad the bad change happened

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think change becomes more of a challenge the older you grow.

I think as a group humans resist change. I'm looking at how people are trying to return to pre covid times and longing for "normality" rather than looking at ways to adapt.

Personally it depends what the change is. If it's good I relish it, if it's bad I don't. Sometimes though I'm glad the bad change happened "

Sometimes a seemingly bad change can lead to good things and vice versa.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I don't mind change as such if it's out of my hands and I'm pretty adaptable. However, if it's me who has to take that leap, I dither and try and work out all the different outcomes. I will finally say enough and push that button. It's just I have to work through that annoying phase first

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Ahhh good old change... or not.

So for me I can embrace change if I have an outcome that's planned out so to speak....as long as I'm confident in myself. Changes at work I'm OK with, and because I'm confident in my abilities and management as much as they can be divs at times, they're confident in me too, and will quite often use me as a guinea pig because I'll be totally truthful and tell them what works, what doesn't and offer up ideas.

Now... change in my personal life. That's the one that scares the bejesus outta me.

I embrace it with the wrong people, so now I probably won't bother again.

Thing with me is tho, there's something inside me that tells me I am destined for something bigger, that I should be doing something more. I've a calling for something but zero idea what it is but I CAN make a difference to the world. Just wish I knew what, where, how or why.

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

Change keeps us young

Life's a long road to who knows where. I hit 50,this year, so handed in my notice at work, house on the market, buying somewhere in Spain, and taking a couple of years off work to travel. Nervous but exciting.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

I'm really not good with change at all, which us why I'm handling my last relationship break up so badly.

If past experience is anything to go by, it'll take me about a year to fully get over it

However I also need change iny working life, and possibly location, and I'm starting to think lire along those lines so it could be good ultimately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Change keeps us young

Good for you!

Safe and happy travels

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

"Change keeps us young

Good for you!

Safe and happy travels

Thx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At a point in life where everything is in need of a change. This pandemic has blown everything up in smoke for me as it must have for many others.

I got decision's, decision's on my mind all the time. There are days when I find it hard to accept all the changes that have suddenly happened in life...

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

People do strive for constancy and repetition, it's a natural instinct, probably for safety and self-preservation. Our evolution has fared well from learned behaviour that we've also passed on down the generations - even though our world has had many changes and we've had genetic change too. We've had to find the right balance.

I like to take things at a relaxed pace and so my habits help me to resist doing things very quickly, unless it's an effective, efficient approach. I resist pressure to do things too quickly in poor ways. It annoys others potentially but I'm aware of it and can modify my responses.

I'm single and very happy and don't make much effort to be in a relationship - I miss out on what it could give but like that prior to enjoy my life as it is.

My stubbornnes is difficult, so I have to work on that and remain aware of it.

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By *adHatter_RestrainedAliceCouple
over a year ago

In The Hills

I'm loyal to a fault and find change hard sometimes depending what type of change it is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t think I am good with too much change, I still like a routine to my life, I know where I am then, too much change confuddles my brain and makes me feel uneasy

I think the core essence of change is that feeling of uneasiness. What if I fall.. but what if you fly?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The unknown is scary then?

Yes. The unknown is always scary. A change takes you away from what is familiar and safe and routine (humans being very much creatures of habit).

It's like trying to break a bad habit - the brain is so used to it that trying to steer in another direction takes concentration and willpower to keep going."

Adapting to new pathways of thinking is an exercise of sorts..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think change becomes more of a challenge the older you grow.

I think as a group humans resist change. I'm looking at how people are trying to return to pre covid times and longing for "normality" rather than looking at ways to adapt.

Personally it depends what the change is. If it's good I relish it, if it's bad I don't. Sometimes though I'm glad the bad change happened "

Maybe it's a bit of ongoing civilisation growth.. a generation which opposes changes gets rebelled by these which have energy to implement them and have faith it them. Maybe also with age we lose trust that anything new is really new and worth trying?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't mind change as such if it's out of my hands and I'm pretty adaptable. However, if it's me who has to take that leap, I dither and try and work out all the different outcomes. I will finally say enough and push that button. It's just I have to work through that annoying phase first "

Maybe its just a wise preparation for a change. Might be annoying but it reassures you in the long run?

Adaptability is such a great skill to have..

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

As you said Tuber change is the one constant in life new paths start all the time as you go with the flow and let it take you and when that change happens naturally and almost subconsciously then it's almost instinctive.

I think it's when a change is conscious that fears, doubts and resistance can creep in but even then if it's something you can see as a positive thing then it becomes easy to embrace and again let that flow take you.

The difficulty is when you look at it as a negative, because then your natural instinct is resistance and to swim against the tide - sometimes that's necessary but requires more effort, and courage of conviction if you truly believe resisting the change is the right thing to do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ahhh good old change... or not.

Now... change in my personal life. That's the one that scares the bejesus outta me.

I embrace it with the wrong people, so now I probably won't bother again.

Are you looking for the change then?

then I'm sure it will find you in the maze of these what where why thoughts.. brainstorming is a good start..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love change! I get very easily restless and agitated when things become too samey. Positives are I've taken some big leaps when it comes to jobs/travelling etc and had a lot of fun I'd have missed, were I more hesitant, but the down side is I also lose interest in people quite easily, other than very special ones I've had in my life a long time. I can't actually ever imagine settling down with one person again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It feels like change is being forced on me recently, much of it out of my control, job, life, what do I do next? More revolution than evolution. Yet those changes are almost enforced by the way this year has been, so in some ways choice has been removed, we just have to get on with life as it is.

Some changes, be less hermit perhaps, are taking longer to achieve. I still need a reason to come out of the cave; or a person where mutual change is what we want to share.

I think we all find our own balance in some form or other, change at our own speed, its almost just keep learning and growing. Yet the upheavals of life with all the strangeness it can throw at us are usually the catalyst for making us grow as people.

Maybe its just change what we can, accept what we can't change and knowing how not to force the issue.

Life and change happens in its own time....

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Ahhh good old change... or not.

Now... change in my personal life. That's the one that scares the bejesus outta me.

I embrace it with the wrong people, so now I probably won't bother again.

Are you looking for the change then?

then I'm sure it will find you in the maze of these what where why thoughts.. brainstorming is a good start.."

I'm not actively looking, but I know there's more to me than the now.

If someone randomly knocked my door (not in a religious sense) and said .... you should be doing XYZ I'd probably give it a try

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

"Ahhh good old change... or not.

Now... change in my personal life. That's the one that scares the bejesus outta me.

I embrace it with the wrong people, so now I probably won't bother again.

Are you looking for the change then?

then I'm sure it will find you in the maze of these what where why thoughts.. brainstorming is a good start..

I'm not actively looking, but I know there's more to me than the now.

If someone randomly knocked my door (not in a religious sense) and said .... you should be doing XYZ I'd probably give it a try

You're restless and you know it. Today can be the first day in the rest of your life

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Change keeps us young

What a brilliant plan. I hope Covid didnt sabotage it!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm really not good with change at all, which us why I'm handling my last relationship break up so badly.

If past experience is anything to go by, it'll take me about a year to fully get over it

However I also need change iny working life, and possibly location, and I'm starting to think lire along those lines so it could be good ultimately "

Maybe you just need that. Change of scenery to stop reminding you of last relationship? New chapter for you..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"At a point in life where everything is in need of a change. This pandemic has blown everything up in smoke for me as it must have for many others.

I got decision's, decision's on my mind all the time. There are days when I find it hard to accept all the changes that have suddenly happened in life...

Sounds like you have had a really rough journey this year.. acceptance of changes will come I'm sure, when you find new goals, new dreams and things to distract you? Gradually..

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By *ab jamesMan
over a year ago

ribble valley

"Change keeps us young

What a brilliant plan. I hope Covid didnt sabotage it!"

Covid stopped it in its tracks but should be able to get going soon.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"People do strive for constancy and repetition, it's a natural instinct, probably for safety and self-preservation. Our evolution has fared well from learned behaviour that we've also passed on down the generations - even though our world has had many changes and we've had genetic change too. We've had to find the right balance.

I'm single and very happy and don't make much effort to be in a relationship - I miss out on what it could give but like that prior to enjoy my life as it is.

My stubbornnes is difficult, so I have to work on that and remain aware of it. "

Getting change right isnt a bad thing. Taking your time to chose and adjust to new scenarios.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm loyal to a fault and find change hard sometimes depending what type of change it is."

Maybe just secure in your choices?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As you said Tuber change is the one constant in life new paths start all the time as you go with the flow and let it take you and when that change happens naturally and almost subconsciously then it's almost instinctive.

The familiar hell is better than unknown paradise? That could be root of resistance. I know I can deal with what I know, but what I'm not used to I see as too much risk?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I love change! I get very easily restless and agitated when things become too samey. Positives are I've taken some big leaps when it comes to jobs/travelling etc and had a lot of fun I'd have missed, were I more hesitant, but the down side is I also lose interest in people quite easily, other than very special ones I've had in my life a long time. I can't actually ever imagine settling down with one person again. "

Maybe you arent a settler type. You are the part of a tribe who are experience hunters!

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

I was diagnosed with Adjustment Disorder, yeah change is hard.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Maybe its just change what we can, accept what we can't change and knowing how not to force the issue.

Life and change happens in its own time...."

And the wisdom to know the difference between the two

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

The familiar hell is better than unknown paradise? That could be root of resistance. I know I can deal with what I know, but what I'm not used to I see as too much risk? "

I think for some it can be - like most things I think it can also be very situational/cicumstance dependent - so it's easier to accept the known than force the unknown until a driver pushes you to make that change.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I don't like it all in pennies

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I think change becomes more of a challenge the older you grow.

I think as a group humans resist change. I'm looking at how people are trying to return to pre covid times and longing for "normality" rather than looking at ways to adapt.

Personally it depends what the change is. If it's good I relish it, if it's bad I don't. Sometimes though I'm glad the bad change happened

Sometimes a seemingly bad change can lead to good things and vice versa."

Yes! We thought we'd made a big mistake with our recent move. It's turned out to be one of the best changes we've ever made in our lives.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't like it all in pennies"

Heavy change lifting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t like change. I had to change so much 3 years ago. Had to move house, relocate, change jobs. So I like things being stable

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ahhh good old change... or not.

Now... change in my personal life. That's the one that scares the bejesus outta me.

I embrace it with the wrong people, so now I probably won't bother again.

Are you looking for the change then?

then I'm sure it will find you in the maze of these what where why thoughts.. brainstorming is a good start..

I'm not actively looking, but I know there's more to me than the now.

If someone randomly knocked my door (not in a religious sense) and said .... you should be doing XYZ I'd probably give it a try

Ah I get it now. Guidance would be nice. Someone giving us a poke in the right direction

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like routine. I like everything just so.

I have to be organised and in control.

Having said that I’ve had loads of change in my life, moving around the country etc. As long as I know what’s going on I’m fine. I’m not great with sudden change or surprises and I don’t have much patience

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was diagnosed with Adjustment Disorder, yeah change is hard."

I didnt know of it before you mentioned it. Hope you get some support?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think change becomes more of a challenge the older you grow.

I think as a group humans resist change. I'm looking at how people are trying to return to pre covid times and longing for "normality" rather than looking at ways to adapt.

Personally it depends what the change is. If it's good I relish it, if it's bad I don't. Sometimes though I'm glad the bad change happened

Sometimes a seemingly bad change can lead to good things and vice versa.

Yes! We thought we'd made a big mistake with our recent move. It's turned out to be one of the best changes we've ever made in our lives."

That's great

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don’t like change. I had to change so much 3 years ago. Had to move house, relocate, change jobs. So I like things being stable "

Change for the better though? Is that unwanted too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I embrace change. I want to live a fulfilled life with different experiences and although some changes are scary (I’m contemplating changing career), I don’t like to let fear of the unknown stop me making those changes.

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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

September 1 i put in my retirement papers ( said they want me back 2 days a week part time) but i needed the change, okay not need , wanted,

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I'll settle for about 4 years then itchy feet take over and I'll make a few massive changes in my life, most common ones are house, work and car at the same time, I love the feel of a fresh start and see my life as chapters in a book. Staleness suffocates me and I start looking for ways to break free

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like routine. I like everything just so.

I have to be organised and in control.

I'm not into surprises myself!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I embrace change. I want to live a fulfilled life with different experiences and although some changes are scary (I’m contemplating changing career), I don’t like to let fear of the unknown stop me making those changes."

I could learn from you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"September 1 i put in my retirement papers ( said they want me back 2 days a week part time) but i needed the change, okay not need , wanted, "

I hope it works just the way you want it !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'll settle for about 4 years then itchy feet take over and I'll make a few massive changes in my life, most common ones are house, work and car at the same time, I love the feel of a fresh start and see my life as chapters in a book. Staleness suffocates me and I start looking for ways to break free

I like the concept of your life in 4 year cycles

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Oh god.. change terrifies me. It’s taken a lot to get comfort in familiarity and the thought of changes fills me with dread. However.. the last 6 months have seen huge changes in the way I need to work and I’ve had no choice but to deal with some legal stuff I’d never thought would darken my doorstep again and it’s all ended up very positive. So maybe it’s not as scary as I think.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Oh god.. change terrifies me. It’s taken a lot to get comfort in familiarity and the thought of changes fills me with dread. However.. the last 6 months have seen huge changes in the way I need to work and I’ve had no choice but to deal with some legal stuff I’d never thought would darken my doorstep again and it’s all ended up very positive. So maybe it’s not as scary as I think. "

Maybe that will stimulate you to make changes of your own choice

if there is a need for any

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Soul searching - Change