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It's good to talk....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

....isn't it?

People say this all the time, along with things like "time is a healer" etc etc

Do you honestly believe it? Do you ever want to just not talk, hide away and not believe a word of it even of deep down you know it's true?

*Disclaimer,

This thread is not aimed at any particular person. I'm venting. If that annoys people, I apologise in advance but I'm human, sue me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its great to talk things out! You sometimes need to realise the old saying "better out than in" doesnt just apply to your farts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. But it's also good to vent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often don't want to talk, I think it's ok to hide for a little while?

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"....isn't it?

People say this all the time, along with things like "time is a healer" etc etc

Do you honestly believe it? Do you ever want to just not talk, hide away and not believe a word of it even of deep down you know it's true?

*Disclaimer,

This thread is not aimed at any particular person. I'm venting. If that annoys people, I apologise in advance but I'm human, sue me "

No. I hide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I need to vent, but it has to be with the right people.

I’m actually a terrible one for bottling up. I’m strong for others and often forget about looking after me. I have one or two people in my life I can vent to and feel safe doing it, but otherwise I really struggle to do it and prefer to work it out on my own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes. But it's also good to vent."

Clarification: I was saying 'yes' to hiding away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer talking, I hate bottling things up

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

I'm glad you added the disclaimer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it's good to talk.

Sometimes its good to keep our own counsel...

Nothing wrong with venting if it helps people to resolve their issues.

All forms of communication are what makes life relationships humanity work...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Outside of my gf or forums on here I prefer to not talk to people, especially face to face. Im used to being alone but not lonely

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I think that talking can really help people process thoughts and feelings but, and it’s a big but, it needs to be when you are ready to talk.

Sometimes I need space to process my thoughts and let my mind settle. Once I’m in a calm space it’s great to have trusted friends to talk to.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Sometimes it’s nice just to be with someone where you don't need to talk and it’s not the slightest bit uncomfortable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....isn't it?

People say this all the time, along with things like "time is a healer" etc etc

Do you honestly believe it? Do you ever want to just not talk, hide away and not believe a word of it even of deep down you know it's true?

*Disclaimer,

This thread is not aimed at any particular person. I'm venting. If that annoys people, I apologise in advance but I'm human, sue me "

I think it is actually fantastic to talk about things. The hard part is actually finding the time and the place to talk about said things.

If you want to talk I’m all ears

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"....isn't it?

People say this all the time, along with things like "time is a healer" etc etc

Do you honestly believe it? Do you ever want to just not talk, hide away and not believe a word of it even of deep down you know it's true?

*Disclaimer,

This thread is not aimed at any particular person. I'm venting. If that annoys people, I apologise in advance but I'm human, sue me "

No comment

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Sometimes it's good to vent and other times you need time to take in what's happened. Both are dealing with the situation, it's whatever gets you through the shit times

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I would rather not talk but deal with stuff myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most definitely it is good to talk.

Bottling things up isn't good for the mind or soul.

I find Sometimes talking to a complete stranger helps too. An outsider looking in so to speak...Many times I have vented to friends on here and found it helps...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....isn't it?

People say this all the time, along with things like "time is a healer" etc etc

Do you honestly believe it? Do you ever want to just not talk, hide away and not believe a word of it even of deep down you know it's true?

*Disclaimer,

This thread is not aimed at any particular person. I'm venting. If that annoys people, I apologise in advance but I'm human, sue me

No comment "

If you don’t have a comment, why bother replying at all? Or is it a ‘ha ha this thread is about talking but this guy won’t!’ ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....isn't it?

People say this all the time, along with things like "time is a healer" etc etc

Do you honestly believe it? Do you ever want to just not talk, hide away and not believe a word of it even of deep down you know it's true?

*Disclaimer,

This thread is not aimed at any particular person. I'm venting. If that annoys people, I apologise in advance but I'm human, sue me "

To me time is a healer. Losing my faather so suddenly brought me to my knees. A few years on I've reconciled his loss and have come a long way. Time and room to think and reflect.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"....isn't it?

People say this all the time, along with things like "time is a healer" etc etc

Do you honestly believe it? Do you ever want to just not talk, hide away and not believe a word of it even of deep down you know it's true?

*Disclaimer,

This thread is not aimed at any particular person. I'm venting. If that annoys people, I apologise in advance but I'm human, sue me

No comment

If you don’t have a comment, why bother replying at all? Or is it a ‘ha ha this thread is about talking but this guy won’t!’ ?"

No comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time can be a healer. Or perhaps *we* are the healer, it's just that we need time to heal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....isn't it?

People say this all the time, along with things like "time is a healer" etc etc

Do you honestly believe it? Do you ever want to just not talk, hide away and not believe a word of it even of deep down you know it's true?

*Disclaimer,

This thread is not aimed at any particular person. I'm venting. If that annoys people, I apologise in advance but I'm human, sue me

To me time is a healer. Losing my faather so suddenly brought me to my knees. A few years on I've reconciled his loss and have come a long way. Time and room to think and reflect."

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Time can be a healer. Or perhaps *we* are the healer, it's just that we need time to heal.

"

I find talking and giving a safe outlet for my feelings (and fuck knows I feel deeply about things) a really positive thing. When my dad died it was really really hard for various reasons but over time I found that I've come to terms with most of it. Sometimes I want to hide away and not say anything to anyone and when things have been really dark in the past I have done so. I found when I did that my own voice was my enemy and rationality went out the window. If I'm not able to (for whatever reason) talk about something, I write it down. Even that simple act is cathartic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it’s good to talk just to get it out there. If something is cooped up in your head, it’s always going to feel bigger than what it will appear when it’s been let out into the universe.

If I’m not in a great headspace, and I don’t want to talk about it, I’ll write down all my thoughts/concerns and feelings. Even though it’s a small action, it is still an action and makes me feel like I’m doing something about it.

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

I think women prefer to talk, get it out, fix it. Men in my experience, not so much.

Then we try to fix it for them, which usually ends up in an argument or us sleeping on the edge of the bed

Jo x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Time can be a healer. Or perhaps *we* are the healer, it's just that we need time to heal.

I find talking and giving a safe outlet for my feelings (and fuck knows I feel deeply about things) a really positive thing. When my dad died it was really really hard for various reasons but over time I found that I've come to terms with most of it. Sometimes I want to hide away and not say anything to anyone and when things have been really dark in the past I have done so. I found when I did that my own voice was my enemy and rationality went out the window. If I'm not able to (for whatever reason) talk about something, I write it down. Even that simple act is cathartic. "

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

All depends who I'm talking to.

Some people I know I can speak to about anything and without needing to explain myself to within an inch of my tongue falling off they'll understand me and know my angle kinda thing. They'll get why I'm peeved/upset/disappointed or whatever because they know my background.

Other people not so much because they may trivialise something that's massively important to me and that will make me even more angry and feeling unheard.

I have messages sat in my inbox unread from people I don't know well, but I know they're not the people I can comfortably talk to about stuff. I don't believe they understand me as they don't know me well enough. I'm not ready to have my recent stuff trivialised. It'll set me back on my road to recovery.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Time can be a healer. Or perhaps *we* are the healer, it's just that we need time to heal.

"

Fuck yes. All of this.

We need time to grieve, vent, have that space between us and the event that caused the issue.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I'm a perfect example of not practising what I preach as it were. I'm usually the one that sits and listens to friends vent and get things off their chest and say thats its much better to do so.

But when I have a problem/feel low I tend to go within myself and hide away to the forest for a good walk to release it all to the poor trees

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think we each as individuals find our own way of dealing with things and for some the adage "it's good to talk" will apply - for others it may not, and for others still it may be very situational and dependent on the "who" as much as themselves.

I've always been a believer in talking things through but I also know that it takes two to talk and both have to be willing to do so.

I think Outsider's take on "time is a great healer" is spot on and couldn't have put it better myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All depends who I'm talking to.

Some people I know I can speak to about anything and without needing to explain myself to within an inch of my tongue falling off they'll understand me and know my angle kinda thing. They'll get why I'm peeved/upset/disappointed or whatever because they know my background.

*** Other people not so much because they may trivialise something that's massively important to me and that will make me even more angry and feeling unheard. ***

I have messages sat in my inbox unread from people I don't know well, but I know they're not the people I can comfortably talk to about stuff. I don't believe they understand me as they don't know me well enough. I'm not ready to have my recent stuff trivialised. It'll set me back on my road to recovery."

*** This explains exactly how I'm feeling. I haven't been able to put it into words, thank you!! Xx

I feel totally and utterly devastated about something but my so called friends told other people like it was fucking idle chat.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"All depends who I'm talking to.

Some people I know I can speak to about anything and without needing to explain myself to within an inch of my tongue falling off they'll understand me and know my angle kinda thing. They'll get why I'm peeved/upset/disappointed or whatever because they know my background.

*** Other people not so much because they may trivialise something that's massively important to me and that will make me even more angry and feeling unheard. ***

I have messages sat in my inbox unread from people I don't know well, but I know they're not the people I can comfortably talk to about stuff. I don't believe they understand me as they don't know me well enough. I'm not ready to have my recent stuff trivialised. It'll set me back on my road to recovery.

*** This explains exactly how I'm feeling. I haven't been able to put it into words, thank you!! Xx

I feel totally and utterly devastated about something but my so called friends told other people like it was fucking idle chat. "

I'll cunt kick em if ya need me to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm a perfect example of not practising what I preach as it were. I'm usually the one that sits and listens to friends vent and get things off their chest and say thats its much better to do so.

But when I have a problem/feel low I tend to go within myself and hide away to the forest for a good walk to release it all to the poor trees "

This is very much the same as me, except I don’t hide away to the forest. I just hide away inside of myself x

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By *evil-AngelWoman
over a year ago

...

Bottling things up isn't a helpful way of dealing with things, we need to process what we go through somehow.

Everyone processes things differently, some will find it helpful to talk and get it off their chest, others find it more helpful to process it by themselves.

What's important is that we find the best way for us

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It depends on what you're talking about and who you're talking to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing wrong with sharing a good old natter on the blower ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have a couple of friends i can vent with or they vent with me

for most and most of family i hide and put on an alls fine face or voice - which is easier to do on phone or email than face to face

while it is soemtimes good to talk its not if all the other person says is "pull yourself out of it"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sometimes it's good to vent and other times you need time to take in what's happened. Both are dealing with the situation, it's whatever gets you through the shit times "

Now this I can relate to 100%

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"....isn't it?

People say this all the time, along with things like "time is a healer" etc etc

Do you honestly believe it? Do you ever want to just not talk, hide away and not believe a word of it even of deep down you know it's true?

*Disclaimer,

This thread is not aimed at any particular person. I'm venting. If that annoys people, I apologise in advance but I'm human, sue me

To me time is a healer. Losing my faather so suddenly brought me to my knees. A few years on I've reconciled his loss and have come a long way. Time and room to think and reflect."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Time can be a healer. Or perhaps *we* are the healer, it's just that we need time to heal.

I find talking and giving a safe outlet for my feelings (and fuck knows I feel deeply about things) a really positive thing. When my dad died it was really really hard for various reasons but over time I found that I've come to terms with most of it. Sometimes I want to hide away and not say anything to anyone and when things have been really dark in the past I have done so. I found when I did that my own voice was my enemy and rationality went out the window. If I'm not able to (for whatever reason) talk about something, I write it down. Even that simple act is cathartic. "

Writing is cathartic and definitely helps me. Also, I love you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes you can't get through to someone so it's best to let them get on with it.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I try to be there for those that want to talk.

I'll even give them a gentle nudge, but if they don't want to talk then trying to force it may make them withdraw more.

Just be there,for them when they're ready.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

I keep “most” things to myself. I’m not one to share my problems with anyone but It helps to have a great group of friends I’m able to vent to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No comment

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By *orace99Man
over a year ago

York

Really helpful listening to others but box up all my own shite and try to forget about it.

Hiding away is always a go to option.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always said it doesn't matter what day it is prevention day everyday should be a learning curve for all of us just because we may be happy in our life doesn't mean everyone else is sometimes it is best to talk

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"Time can be a healer. Or perhaps *we* are the healer, it's just that we need time to heal.

I find talking and giving a safe outlet for my feelings (and fuck knows I feel deeply about things) a really positive thing. When my dad died it was really really hard for various reasons but over time I found that I've come to terms with most of it. Sometimes I want to hide away and not say anything to anyone and when things have been really dark in the past I have done so. I found when I did that my own voice was my enemy and rationality went out the window. If I'm not able to (for whatever reason) talk about something, I write it down. Even that simple act is cathartic.

Writing is cathartic and definitely helps me. Also, I love you "

Love you too, I hope you're feeling a bit better now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I certainly relate to your sentiment of hiding away, and disagree with that old cliche " misery likes company" as sometimes I love to be alone to mull it over and not be given constant advice and opinions.

We're complex creatures, but there's a fundamental difference between the types of difficulties that we experience and sometimes need processing.

I spent decades dealing with trauma and distasteful experiences, but never spoke about it as it was just what I did. Time alone in the wild was certainly therapeutic but didn't stop damage.

Eventually I was referred for counselling and despite being a cynic, I honestly felt that weight lift. Sometimes it is good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Councilling is my idea of hell.

I rarely need to talk and find it awkward and uncomfortable.

I think it would depend on what my issue is - I would first seek advice from a trusted friend if anything.

I'm all for hiding away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"All depends who I'm talking to.

Some people I know I can speak to about anything and without needing to explain myself to within an inch of my tongue falling off they'll understand me and know my angle kinda thing. They'll get why I'm peeved/upset/disappointed or whatever because they know my background.

*** Other people not so much because they may trivialise something that's massively important to me and that will make me even more angry and feeling unheard. ***

I have messages sat in my inbox unread from people I don't know well, but I know they're not the people I can comfortably talk to about stuff. I don't believe they understand me as they don't know me well enough. I'm not ready to have my recent stuff trivialised. It'll set me back on my road to recovery.

*** This explains exactly how I'm feeling. I haven't been able to put it into words, thank you!! Xx

I feel totally and utterly devastated about something but my so called friends told other people like it was fucking idle chat.

I'll cunt kick em if ya need me to "

It's me that needs the cunt kick.

To be fair to my ex friends, I know they didn't do it maliciously. They may even have been trying to help. My feelings about it are the problem, so better I just avoid them.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

I tend to keep my own counsel, go through things in my head or write a letter that won’t be delivered to get things out of my head

I’m not a great sharer and it takes a lot for me to do so. There are a couple of individuals I trust to share things with who I know, no matter how irrational my thoughts maybe, will listen, be understanding and non judgemental, but they normally hear about things after I’ve rationalised it myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Councilling is my idea of hell.

I rarely need to talk and find it awkward and uncomfortable.

I think it would depend on what my issue is - I would first seek advice from a trusted friend if anything.

I'm all for hiding away "

Counselling isn't about giving advice

It's more about getting you to discover that for yourself

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Time can be a healer. Or perhaps *we* are the healer, it's just that we need time to heal.

I find talking and giving a safe outlet for my feelings (and fuck knows I feel deeply about things) a really positive thing. When my dad died it was really really hard for various reasons but over time I found that I've come to terms with most of it. Sometimes I want to hide away and not say anything to anyone and when things have been really dark in the past I have done so. I found when I did that my own voice was my enemy and rationality went out the window. If I'm not able to (for whatever reason) talk about something, I write it down. Even that simple act is cathartic.

Writing is cathartic and definitely helps me. Also, I love you

Love you too, I hope you're feeling a bit better now. "

Meh I'll get there eventually just need to wrap my head around a few things first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Councilling is my idea of hell.

I rarely need to talk and find it awkward and uncomfortable.

I think it would depend on what my issue is - I would first seek advice from a trusted friend if anything.

I'm all for hiding away

Counselling isn't about giving advice

It's more about getting you to discover that for yourself "

I'm sure it works for some but its not gor me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"....isn't it?

People say this all the time, along with things like "time is a healer" etc etc

Do you honestly believe it? Do you ever want to just not talk, hide away and not believe a word of it even of deep down you know it's true?

*Disclaimer,

This thread is not aimed at any particular person. I'm venting. If that annoys people, I apologise in advance but I'm human, sue me "

Oh sparks

So my personal experience:

sometimes all you want to do is hide away, drown yourself I your own thoughts - that fine nothing wrong with that. But getting too wound up in your thoughts can sometimes be a bad thing.

Talking about what's on your mind helps. Sometimes theres things you wanna get out , without judgement or need for opinion. I've often found talking about things helps me get a different perspective on what's bothering me, even if the person I'm talking is just listening

I'm not a big fan of "time is a heeler". I think time only helps you learn to live with whatever has happened - it doesn't actually takeaway any of the pain. Casing point , my mum passed away 3 years ago. The pain is still there, but I've had to learn to deal with her not around - it's not easy by any means

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every issue is different. Some are best managed by thinking, some are managed by talking them through and some by both in that order.

Often it's also good to park the issue for a while and get distracted chatting about something completely unrelated. Like any injury ( emotional or physical ) time is definitely needed to begin to deal and heal.

Sometimes it's great to chat with a friend who knows you've got an elephant in your sitting room but knows it might help you more right then to engage you in conversation about the fly in their kitchen. You can always chat about another time when you're rested and ready.

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