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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

that was close.

Me and my short little legs decided standing on the back of the sofa was the sufficient to screw the curtain pole batons into the walls.

One of the screws was being a cockwomble and I needed to really give it some and put all my weight behind it (I'm using a screwdriver not a drill you see)

Anywhoooooo, next thing I know my feet are level with my head and I'm free falling onto the floor face first.

Don't ask me how the fuck I did it but SOMEHOW I tilted my head just far enough to the left as my elbows hit the deck and the screwdriver missed my face by fucking millimetres.

I've learnt at not far off 43 years old I no longer bounce, but I also learnt...

Wear grippy footwear.

I still have cat like reflexes.

I'm fucking 'ard

What have you learnt today?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've learnt not to leave you alone with screwdrivers

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I've learnt not to leave you alone with screwdrivers"

I'm gonna be sore tomorrow!

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'm laughing coz I did the worm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly glad you're ok...

Secondly can you be a bit more careful please, you need to actually enjoy the fruits of your labour.

Thirdly I need to conduct a full risk assessment before further work is carried out

Her x

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Jesus, woman, use a stepladder! You're no spring chicken you know, could break a hip in a fall like that

Mrs TMN x

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

That was a close shave m’lady! I’m glad the only injury was to your pride though

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Ouch Peach, glad you are ok.

It’s the sort of thing I do too, make use of what is available to stand on even if it’s stacking things, I really should learn some healthy & safety pc but that’s not my generation

I’ve learnt I must start wearing my glasses more than I did, my body can’t keep taking a bashing as I walk into things that have always been there

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Firstly glad you're ok...

Secondly can you be a bit more careful please, you need to actually enjoy the fruits of your labour.

Thirdly I need to conduct a full risk assessment before further work is carried out

Her x"

I just went weeeeeee splat.

I'm gonna stick to just glossing some more around the rest of the house today I think!

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Jesus, woman, use a stepladder! You're no spring chicken you know, could break a hip in a fall like that

Mrs TMN x"

That meant effort lugging it through and I only had to move the sofa a tidgy bit.

Hip schmip

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Can we start a fundraiser to get you a step ladder and and electric screwdriver?

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"Jesus, woman, use a stepladder! You're no spring chicken you know, could break a hip in a fall like that

Mrs TMN x

That meant effort lugging it through and I only had to move the sofa a tidgy bit.

Hip schmip "

Hippity hoppity schmipitty schmopitty

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"That was a close shave m’lady! I’m glad the only injury was to your pride though "

My pride is dandy, I'm just gutted I never got it on video, could have earned £250!

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I want to laugh but the Mother in me is Saying 'You could of bloody killed yourself'

Hope you're OK you plonker!

Jo.Xx

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Ouch Peach, glad you are ok.

It’s the sort of thing I do too, make use of what is available to stand on even if it’s stacking things, I really should learn some healthy & safety pc but that’s not my generation

I’ve learnt I must start wearing my glasses more than I did, my body can’t keep taking a bashing as I walk into things that have always been there "

Bruises come from nowhere the older ya get don't you find? And they last an age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bloody hello

Oh what have i learned?

Not to perv at a hit womans pefectly sculpted ass when she is squating at the gym

I banged my finger on a weight and lil Ric was also standing to attention

Quite the drama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Firstly glad you're ok...

Secondly can you be a bit more careful please, you need to actually enjoy the fruits of your labour.

Thirdly I need to conduct a full risk assessment before further work is carried out

Her x

I just went weeeeeee splat.

I'm gonna stick to just glossing some more around the rest of the house today I think!"

Yes good idea! We are going to need to set you a schedule for checking in on here to let us know you're ok at this rate

Her x

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Can we start a fundraiser to get you a step ladder and and electric screwdriver? "

Pfffft, it's put me off attempting to get the massive mirror down the stairs.

I did try the other day and got stuck for a good 5 mins fighting with the cunt thinking I was gonna die at the bottom of the stairs in a pool of broken glass, but I'm a stubborn prick and was tempted to try again.

I shall not.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I want to laugh but the Mother in me is Saying 'You could of bloody killed yourself'

Hope you're OK you plonker!

Jo.Xx "

You can laugh, I am

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Bloody hello

Oh what have i learned?

Not to perv at a hit womans pefectly sculpted ass when she is squating at the gym

I banged my finger on a weight and lil Ric was also standing to attention

Quite the drama"

Mwahahaha yep, keep your eyes on what you're meant to be looking at

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By *naquest321Man
over a year ago

Carlisle


"that was close.

Me and my short little legs decided standing on the back of the sofa was the sufficient to screw the curtain pole batons into the walls.

One of the screws was being a cockwomble and I needed to really give it some and put all my weight behind it (I'm using a screwdriver not a drill you see)

Anywhoooooo, next thing I know my feet are level with my head and I'm free falling onto the floor face first.

Don't ask me how the fuck I did it but SOMEHOW I tilted my head just far enough to the left as my elbows hit the deck and the screwdriver missed my face by fucking millimetres.

I've learnt at not far off 43 years old I no longer bounce, but I also learnt...

Wear grippy footwear.

I still have cat like reflexes.

I'm fucking 'ard

What have you learnt today?"

There’s nothing worse than a bad screw.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Can we start a fundraiser to get you a step ladder and and electric screwdriver?

Pfffft, it's put me off attempting to get the massive mirror down the stairs.

I did try the other day and got stuck for a good 5 mins fighting with the cunt thinking I was gonna die at the bottom of the stairs in a pool of broken glass, but I'm a stubborn prick and was tempted to try again.

I shall not."

Please don't try it.

Surely you must know a handyperson (not being sexiest) who can help you???

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Firstly glad you're ok...

Secondly can you be a bit more careful please, you need to actually enjoy the fruits of your labour.

Thirdly I need to conduct a full risk assessment before further work is carried out

Her x

I just went weeeeeee splat.

I'm gonna stick to just glossing some more around the rest of the house today I think!

Yes good idea! We are going to need to set you a schedule for checking in on here to let us know you're ok at this rate

Her x"

At least I know I ain't gonna drown in the tin of paint, my fivehead is way too big to fit in the tin

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"that was close.

Me and my short little legs decided standing on the back of the sofa was the sufficient to screw the curtain pole batons into the walls.

One of the screws was being a cockwomble and I needed to really give it some and put all my weight behind it (I'm using a screwdriver not a drill you see)

Anywhoooooo, next thing I know my feet are level with my head and I'm free falling onto the floor face first.

Don't ask me how the fuck I did it but SOMEHOW I tilted my head just far enough to the left as my elbows hit the deck and the screwdriver missed my face by fucking millimetres.

I've learnt at not far off 43 years old I no longer bounce, but I also learnt...

Wear grippy footwear.

I still have cat like reflexes.

I'm fucking 'ard

What have you learnt today?

There’s nothing worse than a bad screw. "

Dunno, maggots yer japseye can't be much fun?

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Can we start a fundraiser to get you a step ladder and and electric screwdriver?

Pfffft, it's put me off attempting to get the massive mirror down the stairs.

I did try the other day and got stuck for a good 5 mins fighting with the cunt thinking I was gonna die at the bottom of the stairs in a pool of broken glass, but I'm a stubborn prick and was tempted to try again.

I shall not.

Please don't try it.

Surely you must know a handyperson (not being sexiest) who can help you???"

I can ask next door.

I'm impatient when it comes to doing stuff for myself tho when I get the belly fire.

Independent to the detriment to myself.

I think it's because physically I've always battled. I was always one of the smallest, always had to find ways round things ya know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you girls will go through for a quick hard screw x

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Can we start a fundraiser to get you a step ladder and and electric screwdriver?

Pfffft, it's put me off attempting to get the massive mirror down the stairs.

I did try the other day and got stuck for a good 5 mins fighting with the cunt thinking I was gonna die at the bottom of the stairs in a pool of broken glass, but I'm a stubborn prick and was tempted to try again.

I shall not.

Please don't try it.

Surely you must know a handyperson (not being sexiest) who can help you???

I can ask next door.

I'm impatient when it comes to doing stuff for myself tho when I get the belly fire.

Independent to the detriment to myself.

I think it's because physically I've always battled. I was always one of the smallest, always had to find ways round things ya know"

I don't know you, but you're obviously a very capable lady. You must be a little more patient and A LOT MORE CAREFUL. X

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

What have I learned today?

That laughing at the visions of a pint sized Peach free falling doesn't help the pain in my shoulder blade gained from sleeping awkwardly on it.

Question is ya noodle, you have a perfectly good set of step ladders, I know I've seen them in decorating pics - what the eff and jeff were you thinking not using them?

Oh ok, confession time, I probably wouldn't have been arsed to move the sofa either

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"Ouch Peach, glad you are ok.

It’s the sort of thing I do too, make use of what is available to stand on even if it’s stacking things, I really should learn some healthy & safety pc but that’s not my generation

I’ve learnt I must start wearing my glasses more than I did, my body can’t keep taking a bashing as I walk into things that have always been there

Bruises come from nowhere the older ya get don't you find? And they last an age."

Totally I have to on my leg currently that is so big I’d think I should know how I got it, but nope..... one week and counting, the joys of getting old

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"Can we start a fundraiser to get you a step ladder and and electric screwdriver?

Pfffft, it's put me off attempting to get the massive mirror down the stairs.

I did try the other day and got stuck for a good 5 mins fighting with the cunt thinking I was gonna die at the bottom of the stairs in a pool of broken glass, but I'm a stubborn prick and was tempted to try again.

I shall not."

A suggestion if it fits sideways down the stairs when flat, wrap it in a large duvet cover and then slowly lower it down the stairs, with you behind it, works going upstairs as well.

A tip I taught myself after moving house a few times alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive learnt that you're probably quite interesting on the dance floor

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"What have I learned today?

That laughing at the visions of a pint sized Peach free falling doesn't help the pain in my shoulder blade gained from sleeping awkwardly on it.

Question is ya noodle, you have a perfectly good set of step ladders, I know I've seen them in decorating pics - what the eff and jeff were you thinking not using them?

Oh ok, confession time, I probably wouldn't have been arsed to move the sofa either "

I didn't want to risk scuffing the ceiling with them. To be fair tho I'd rather have fallen from the back of the sofa than have the ladders go from under me. Foooooook that

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Can we start a fundraiser to get you a step ladder and and electric screwdriver?

Pfffft, it's put me off attempting to get the massive mirror down the stairs.

I did try the other day and got stuck for a good 5 mins fighting with the cunt thinking I was gonna die at the bottom of the stairs in a pool of broken glass, but I'm a stubborn prick and was tempted to try again.

I shall not.

A suggestion if it fits sideways down the stairs when flat, wrap it in a large duvet cover and then slowly lower it down the stairs, with you behind it, works going upstairs as well.

A tip I taught myself after moving house a few times alone "

Good shout.

Thing is, getting it down will serve no purpose as I need someone to help me lift the big bastard above the fireplace anyway!

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

Oh Peach you are awesome . A clumsy cunt . But awesomely loveable as well

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Ive learnt that you're probably quite interesting on the dance floor"

I don't do much apart from nod my head and a few shimmy wiggles

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Oh Peach you are awesome . A clumsy cunt . But awesomely loveable as well "

Fucking screw ain't in properly tho, it's all poking out like it's sticking its tongue out takin the piss

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"Can we start a fundraiser to get you a step ladder and and electric screwdriver?

Pfffft, it's put me off attempting to get the massive mirror down the stairs.

I did try the other day and got stuck for a good 5 mins fighting with the cunt thinking I was gonna die at the bottom of the stairs in a pool of broken glass, but I'm a stubborn prick and was tempted to try again.

I shall not.

A suggestion if it fits sideways down the stairs when flat, wrap it in a large duvet cover and then slowly lower it down the stairs, with you behind it, works going upstairs as well.

A tip I taught myself after moving house a few times alone

Good shout.

Thing is, getting it down will serve no purpose as I need someone to help me lift the big bastard above the fireplace anyway! "

That I have no tips for except an extra person

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Can we start a fundraiser to get you a step ladder and and electric screwdriver?

Pfffft, it's put me off attempting to get the massive mirror down the stairs.

I did try the other day and got stuck for a good 5 mins fighting with the cunt thinking I was gonna die at the bottom of the stairs in a pool of broken glass, but I'm a stubborn prick and was tempted to try again.

I shall not.

A suggestion if it fits sideways down the stairs when flat, wrap it in a large duvet cover and then slowly lower it down the stairs, with you behind it, works going upstairs as well.

A tip I taught myself after moving house a few times alone

Good shout.

Thing is, getting it down will serve no purpose as I need someone to help me lift the big bastard above the fireplace anyway!

That I have no tips for except an extra person "

I'm proper chuckling tho, it makes my house sound all grand and luxurious it's a pokey shit hole I'm doing my best to make semi non embarrassing

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Come on people - there must be someone local who can help the lady.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon


"that was close.

Me and my short little legs decided standing on the back of the sofa was the sufficient to screw the curtain pole batons into the walls.

One of the screws was being a cockwomble and I needed to really give it some and put all my weight behind it (I'm using a screwdriver not a drill you see)

Anywhoooooo, next thing I know my feet are level with my head and I'm free falling onto the floor face first.

Don't ask me how the fuck I did it but SOMEHOW I tilted my head just far enough to the left as my elbows hit the deck and the screwdriver missed my face by fucking millimetres.

I've learnt at not far off 43 years old I no longer bounce, but I also learnt...

Wear grippy footwear.

I still have cat like reflexes.

I'm fucking 'ard

What have you learnt today?"

What have I learnt today? Princess Peach really needs to get a man in!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive learnt that you're probably quite interesting on the dance floor

I don't do much apart from nod my head and a few shimmy wiggles "

Clearly you should put up some curtains near a dance floor then

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"Can we start a fundraiser to get you a step ladder and and electric screwdriver?

Pfffft, it's put me off attempting to get the massive mirror down the stairs.

I did try the other day and got stuck for a good 5 mins fighting with the cunt thinking I was gonna die at the bottom of the stairs in a pool of broken glass, but I'm a stubborn prick and was tempted to try again.

I shall not.

A suggestion if it fits sideways down the stairs when flat, wrap it in a large duvet cover and then slowly lower it down the stairs, with you behind it, works going upstairs as well.

A tip I taught myself after moving house a few times alone

Good shout.

Thing is, getting it down will serve no purpose as I need someone to help me lift the big bastard above the fireplace anyway!

That I have no tips for except an extra person

I'm proper chuckling tho, it makes my house sound all grand and luxurious it's a pokey shit hole I'm doing my best to make semi non embarrassing "

You can make it your little palace.... when is the chandelier arriving

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you at least get the screw in?

It’s lucky you don’t have a cat. Imagine a cat sat watching and judging like a little fluffy judge Judy

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Can we start a fundraiser to get you a step ladder and and electric screwdriver?

Pfffft, it's put me off attempting to get the massive mirror down the stairs.

I did try the other day and got stuck for a good 5 mins fighting with the cunt thinking I was gonna die at the bottom of the stairs in a pool of broken glass, but I'm a stubborn prick and was tempted to try again.

I shall not.

A suggestion if it fits sideways down the stairs when flat, wrap it in a large duvet cover and then slowly lower it down the stairs, with you behind it, works going upstairs as well.

A tip I taught myself after moving house a few times alone

Good shout.

Thing is, getting it down will serve no purpose as I need someone to help me lift the big bastard above the fireplace anyway!

That I have no tips for except an extra person

I'm proper chuckling tho, it makes my house sound all grand and luxurious it's a pokey shit hole I'm doing my best to make semi non embarrassing

You can make it your little palace.... when is the chandelier arriving "

Delboy and Rodney are delivering it tomorrow.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Oh Peach you are awesome . A clumsy cunt . But awesomely loveable as well

Fucking screw ain't in properly tho, it's all poking out like it's sticking its tongue out takin the piss "

Haha I have a vision of that now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've learnt that I.T. is a twunt that is trying to ruin my life... its doing it deliberately and can't be trusted

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"that was close.

Me and my short little legs decided standing on the back of the sofa was the sufficient to screw the curtain pole batons into the walls.

One of the screws was being a cockwomble and I needed to really give it some and put all my weight behind it (I'm using a screwdriver not a drill you see)

Anywhoooooo, next thing I know my feet are level with my head and I'm free falling onto the floor face first.

Don't ask me how the fuck I did it but SOMEHOW I tilted my head just far enough to the left as my elbows hit the deck and the screwdriver missed my face by fucking millimetres.

I've learnt at not far off 43 years old I no longer bounce, but I also learnt...

Wear grippy footwear.

I still have cat like reflexes.

I'm fucking 'ard

What have you learnt today?

What have I learnt today? Princess Peach really needs to get a man in! "

No she bastard don't!

She may want one at some point, but she will never need one.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Ive learnt that you're probably quite interesting on the dance floor

I don't do much apart from nod my head and a few shimmy wiggles

Clearly you should put up some curtains near a dance floor then"

Fuck that shizzle with a cactus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"that was close.

Me and my short little legs decided standing on the back of the sofa was the sufficient to screw the curtain pole batons into the walls.

One of the screws was being a cockwomble and I needed to really give it some and put all my weight behind it (I'm using a screwdriver not a drill you see)

Anywhoooooo, next thing I know my feet are level with my head and I'm free falling onto the floor face first.

Don't ask me how the fuck I did it but SOMEHOW I tilted my head just far enough to the left as my elbows hit the deck and the screwdriver missed my face by fucking millimetres.

I've learnt at not far off 43 years old I no longer bounce, but I also learnt...

Wear grippy footwear.

I still have cat like reflexes.

I'm fucking 'ard

What have you learnt today?"

Ouch!glad you’re ok Take care plan if you can

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Can we start a fundraiser to get you a step ladder and and electric screwdriver?

Pfffft, it's put me off attempting to get the massive mirror down the stairs.

I did try the other day and got stuck for a good 5 mins fighting with the cunt thinking I was gonna die at the bottom of the stairs in a pool of broken glass, but I'm a stubborn prick and was tempted to try again.

I shall not.

A suggestion if it fits sideways down the stairs when flat, wrap it in a large duvet cover and then slowly lower it down the stairs, with you behind it, works going upstairs as well.

A tip I taught myself after moving house a few times alone

Good shout.

Thing is, getting it down will serve no purpose as I need someone to help me lift the big bastard above the fireplace anyway!

That I have no tips for except an extra person

I'm proper chuckling tho, it makes my house sound all grand and luxurious it's a pokey shit hole I'm doing my best to make semi non embarrassing

You can make it your little palace.... when is the chandelier arriving "

I'll make one out of bog roll tubes

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Can we start a fundraiser to get you a step ladder and and electric screwdriver?

Pfffft, it's put me off attempting to get the massive mirror down the stairs.

I did try the other day and got stuck for a good 5 mins fighting with the cunt thinking I was gonna die at the bottom of the stairs in a pool of broken glass, but I'm a stubborn prick and was tempted to try again.

I shall not.

A suggestion if it fits sideways down the stairs when flat, wrap it in a large duvet cover and then slowly lower it down the stairs, with you behind it, works going upstairs as well.

A tip I taught myself after moving house a few times alone

Good shout.

Thing is, getting it down will serve no purpose as I need someone to help me lift the big bastard above the fireplace anyway!

That I have no tips for except an extra person

I'm proper chuckling tho, it makes my house sound all grand and luxurious it's a pokey shit hole I'm doing my best to make semi non embarrassing

You can make it your little palace.... when is the chandelier arriving

Delboy and Rodney are delivering it tomorrow. "

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"that was close.

Me and my short little legs decided standing on the back of the sofa was the sufficient to screw the curtain pole batons into the walls.

One of the screws was being a cockwomble and I needed to really give it some and put all my weight behind it (I'm using a screwdriver not a drill you see)

Anywhoooooo, next thing I know my feet are level with my head and I'm free falling onto the floor face first.

Don't ask me how the fuck I did it but SOMEHOW I tilted my head just far enough to the left as my elbows hit the deck and the screwdriver missed my face by fucking millimetres.

I've learnt at not far off 43 years old I no longer bounce, but I also learnt...

Wear grippy footwear.

I still have cat like reflexes.

I'm fucking 'ard

What have you learnt today?

What have I learnt today? Princess Peach really needs to get a man in!

No she bastard don't!

She may want one at some point, but she will never need one.

"

You just need someone to catch you. Lol

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Did you at least get the screw in?

It’s lucky you don’t have a cat. Imagine a cat sat watching and judging like a little fluffy judge Judy "

It's not quite in. It's a prick.

I can imagine a feline giving me a right dirty look!

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I've learnt that I.T. is a twunt that is trying to ruin my life... its doing it deliberately and can't be trusted "

Fuck all can be.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"that was close.

Me and my short little legs decided standing on the back of the sofa was the sufficient to screw the curtain pole batons into the walls.

One of the screws was being a cockwomble and I needed to really give it some and put all my weight behind it (I'm using a screwdriver not a drill you see)

Anywhoooooo, next thing I know my feet are level with my head and I'm free falling onto the floor face first.

Don't ask me how the fuck I did it but SOMEHOW I tilted my head just far enough to the left as my elbows hit the deck and the screwdriver missed my face by fucking millimetres.

I've learnt at not far off 43 years old I no longer bounce, but I also learnt...

Wear grippy footwear.

I still have cat like reflexes.

I'm fucking 'ard

What have you learnt today?

What have I learnt today? Princess Peach really needs to get a man in!

No she bastard don't!

She may want one at some point, but she will never need one.

You just need someone to catch you. Lol"

Or I could put cushions on the floor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg woman be careful!

To be fair I do knobbish things like that all the time

When I moved in December I spent most of my time tying really heavy things to my bicycle with bungee cords like 9 foot metal curtain poles and Henry Hoovers and pushing them up hills

I nearly broke my fingers with a hammer as well.

I've still got so much stuff to do it takes time you'll get there

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"that was close.

Me and my short little legs decided standing on the back of the sofa was the sufficient to screw the curtain pole batons into the walls.

One of the screws was being a cockwomble and I needed to really give it some and put all my weight behind it (I'm using a screwdriver not a drill you see)

Anywhoooooo, next thing I know my feet are level with my head and I'm free falling onto the floor face first.

Don't ask me how the fuck I did it but SOMEHOW I tilted my head just far enough to the left as my elbows hit the deck and the screwdriver missed my face by fucking millimetres.

I've learnt at not far off 43 years old I no longer bounce, but I also learnt...

Wear grippy footwear.

I still have cat like reflexes.

I'm fucking 'ard

What have you learnt today?

What have I learnt today? Princess Peach really needs to get a man in!

No she bastard don't!

She may want one at some point, but she will never need one.

You just need someone to catch you. Lol

Or I could put cushions on the floor "

I have a blow-up bed you could borrow.

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

Aww Miss Peach, don't feel too bad, I did something similar using one of them cheapo Black & Decker Workbench jobbies as a step, snapped the top in half and ended up in a heap on the floor with cuts n scratches on my foot & leg.

My advice for you, as I know you're only ikle, next time you go more than 500mm above floor level wear a parachute

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That little lump on my boob was actually a crumb from my toast!

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


" Omg woman be careful!

To be fair I do knobbish things like that all the time

When I moved in December I spent most of my time tying really heavy things to my bicycle with bungee cords like 9 foot metal curtain poles and Henry Hoovers and pushing them up hills

I nearly broke my fingers with a hammer as well.

I've still got so much stuff to do it takes time you'll get there "

I still need actual curtains, carpet and the mirror up, but.... I can say for the first time in 7 years (since I moved in).... it FEELS almost like a living room

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Aww Miss Peach, don't feel too bad, I did something similar using one of them cheapo Black & Decker Workbench jobbies as a step, snapped the top in half and ended up in a heap on the floor with cuts n scratches on my foot & leg.

My advice for you, as I know you're only ikle, next time you go more than 500mm above floor level wear a parachute "

Yes! I totes should have attached a pillowcase to my back

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"That little lump on my boob was actually a crumb from my toast!"

I'm proper chuckling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive learnt that you're probably quite interesting on the dance floor

I don't do much apart from nod my head and a few shimmy wiggles

Clearly you should put up some curtains near a dance floor then

Fuck that shizzle with a cactus "

Ya kinky bugger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad you're ok.

Today I've learnt I'm really not keen on someone at work.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I'm glad your beautiful face hasn't been damaged.

Today I have learned that dropping a spoon on your cold feet when you're making a cup of tea at stupid o clock is really bloody painful.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Glad you're ok.

Today I've learnt I'm really not keen on someone at work. "

Replace their tea bag with a turd on a string

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I'm glad your beautiful face hasn't been damaged.

Today I have learned that dropping a spoon on your cold feet when you're making a cup of tea at stupid o clock is really bloody painful."

Oh sugar tits that's not a lesson I wanted you to learn and I bet your feet weren't impressed either. Boooooooooooooooo

Fluffy bed socks for you

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

Today I’ve learned they you can put your back out by sneezing.

As a similar age, I’m having to reign in my stupid stunts. I’m using a loft ladder instead of leaping from the bannister rail, for example.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"that was close.

Me and my short little legs decided standing on the back of the sofa was the sufficient to screw the curtain pole batons into the walls.

One of the screws was being a cockwomble and I needed to really give it some and put all my weight behind it (I'm using a screwdriver not a drill you see)

Anywhoooooo, next thing I know my feet are level with my head and I'm free falling onto the floor face first.

Don't ask me how the fuck I did it but SOMEHOW I tilted my head just far enough to the left as my elbows hit the deck and the screwdriver missed my face by fucking millimetres.

I've learnt at not far off 43 years old I no longer bounce, but I also learnt...

Wear grippy footwear.

I still have cat like reflexes.

I'm fucking 'ard

What have you learnt today?"

OMG! lady you need to invest in step ladders!

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Today I’ve learned they you can put your back out by sneezing.

As a similar age, I’m having to reign in my stupid stunts. I’m using a loft ladder instead of leaping from the bannister rail, for example. "

Ouchies!

No more "leaping lizards" for you.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"that was close.

Me and my short little legs decided standing on the back of the sofa was the sufficient to screw the curtain pole batons into the walls.

One of the screws was being a cockwomble and I needed to really give it some and put all my weight behind it (I'm using a screwdriver not a drill you see)

Anywhoooooo, next thing I know my feet are level with my head and I'm free falling onto the floor face first.

Don't ask me how the fuck I did it but SOMEHOW I tilted my head just far enough to the left as my elbows hit the deck and the screwdriver missed my face by fucking millimetres.

I've learnt at not far off 43 years old I no longer bounce, but I also learnt...

Wear grippy footwear.

I still have cat like reflexes.

I'm fucking 'ard

What have you learnt today?

OMG! lady you need to invest in step ladders! "

I've got next doors, in all honesty I reckon they'd have flown out from underneath me even if I used them

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield


"Today I’ve learned they you can put your back out by sneezing.

As a similar age, I’m having to reign in my stupid stunts. I’m using a loft ladder instead of leaping from the bannister rail, for example.

Ouchies!

No more "leaping lizards" for you."

Yeah, the final pull-up into the loft is a lot more challenging than it used to be!

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Today I’ve learned they you can put your back out by sneezing.

As a similar age, I’m having to reign in my stupid stunts. I’m using a loft ladder instead of leaping from the bannister rail, for example.

Ouchies!

No more "leaping lizards" for you.

Yeah, the final pull-up into the loft is a lot more challenging than it used to be!"

You know what, I reckon I'd struggle these days getting myself out of a swimming pool!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blimey that sounds like a narrow escape! Glad you’re ok lovely x

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Blimey that sounds like a narrow escape! Glad you’re ok lovely x"

It really was!

I'm sound, perhaps a tad of whiplash on the way

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

Right, I've sat on my arse all day and I'm about to have a flat battery.

I'll fetch the paint out.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Right, I've sat on my arse all day and I'm about to have a flat battery.

I'll fetch the paint out. "

Now im imagining the Mr Bean sketch where he uses a stick of dinamite in a tin of paint to paint the room.

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull


"Right, I've sat on my arse all day and I'm about to have a flat battery.

I'll fetch the paint out.

Now im imagining the Mr Bean sketch where he uses a stick of dinamite in a tin of paint to paint the room. "

Now im imagining the Mythbusters episode where they tried to re-create the Mr Bean sketch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That would make an interesting obituary;)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Alright

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Not going to lie princess I laughed at the image. A cockwomble of a screw indeed.

I have not learnt much today to be honest. But the day isn’t over.

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Not going to lie princess I laughed at the image. A cockwomble of a screw indeed.

I have not learnt much today to be honest. But the day isn’t over. "

Seriously, it was funny!

My big toe must have taken a knock as it's gone stiff

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By *lfacatMan
over a year ago

Kendal

Today I have learnt that sofa make a piss poor substitutes for ladder!

And that other people falling off a sofa is funnier than me falling down the stairs..!

Hope your aches & pains are only from laughing!

X

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By *rincess peach OP   Woman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Today I have learnt that sofa make a piss poor substitutes for ladder!

And that other people falling off a sofa is funnier than me falling down the stairs..!

Hope your aches & pains are only from laughing!

X"

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