FabSwingers.com forum: What do dogs say to other dogs?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When they bark at each other while walking past and can sense each other from miles away.

If you could understand what they were saying, what do you think they would be saying to each other?

“Oi big bollocks, come and have a go if you think you are hard enough. I’m safe in my garden and you look a right cunt with that muzzle on. Get to fuck.”

So what do you think they are saying?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My master is seeing your mistress. I don't like you,you don't like me. But for the sake of this swinging lark we're just going to have to get on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always have visions of my Dog complaining about me!

'Oi oi wtf! She's a grade A nutjob! fascinated with picking up me shit'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘Dave!’

‘What?’

‘Dave!’

‘What?’

‘........!’

‘What?’

‘I didn’t say anything!’

‘What?’

‘Dave!’

‘What?’

‘Dave!’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"‘Dave!’

‘What?’

‘Dave!’

‘What?’

‘........!’

‘What?’

‘I didn’t say anything!’

‘What?’

‘Dave!’

‘What?’

‘Dave!’"

PMSL

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Hi, wanna sniff my bum?.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

That god dam postman is putting stuff through door again!

Omg! A mother fuckin strange dog is walking past the garden gate!

When I'm putting my shoes on and getting harnesses out! Yes yes we getting outa here for a while! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And also....

When regular dogs see police dogs, do they think to themselves "shit, it's the cops!"

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By *uckOfTheBayMan
over a year ago

Mold

I better have a big breakfast after this long hike!

Ooh rabbits !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the park one of mine is probably saying 'Squirrel I see you up in that tree and ond day I'll get you' and to other dogs 'Chase! You're it ... No I'm it ... Chase me ... I'll chase you ...'

The other is more vocal and has a selection:

'I'm here! I'm outside! I'm in the park wankers'

'I've just pooed and it's my best yet'

'Throw the ball, just throw the fucking ball'

'No I'm not bringing the fucking ball back'

'Back off he belongs to me'

'Treat! Food! Now!'

'You're not doing what you normally do. What the fuck is wrong with you?!'

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By *oson-BlueCouple
over a year ago

North Kent

Some of these responses are hilarious

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"And also....

When regular dogs see police dogs, do they think to themselves "shit, it's the cops!""

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

2 dogs walking in the opposite direction.

One is wearing a neckerchief.

The one without turns head right and glances neckerchief doggo, glances up left at best friend and person holding the lead. Sees best friend also glance at neckerchief doggo and lets out a "POSH TWAT" then glances back up at his bestie as they both snigger

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

When you're walking past a house and there's a bouncy yappy one up the window.

It sees you coming and the low growl is "hmmmmmmm don't you fucking dare"

Followed by shouting "fuck off ya cunt, don't even think about it, keep on fucking walking ya floppy eared thicko"

Gets past house and the bark has turned into the low growl..

"Yeaaaaaaaahhhh, you knew what was good for ya, fucking keep it that way"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi, wanna sniff my bum?."

Gladly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you're walking past a house and there's a bouncy yappy one up the window.

It sees you coming and the low growl is "hmmmmmmm don't you fucking dare"

Followed by shouting "fuck off ya cunt, don't even think about it, keep on fucking walking ya floppy eared thicko"

Gets past house and the bark has turned into the low growl..

"Yeaaaaaaaahhhh, you knew what was good for ya, fucking keep it that way""

Oh yeah. My two adefinetly doing do this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

“I just took a shit in Paris Hilton’s handbag.... hahaha”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lick my ass. I cant reach it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lick my ass. I cant reach it."

My tongues not quite that long

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lick my ass. I cant reach it.

My tongues not quite that long

Dammit ill just get someone else to do it.

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By *appytrailmanMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Food, food, food, food, food

Is it time for a biscuit?

Let's have biscuit

Take me for a walk

Can I have a biscuit

Who farted it woke me up...oh you're all blaming me are you?

Whilst I'm awake I think we should have a biscuit don't you?

Oi human let me out i need a wee

Ive come in from my wee so I deserve a biscuit

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Food, food, food, food, food

Is it time for a biscuit?

Let's have biscuit

Take me for a walk

Can I have a biscuit

Who farted it woke me up...oh you're all blaming me are you?

Whilst I'm awake I think we should have a biscuit don't you?

Oi human let me out i need a wee

Ive come in from my wee so I deserve a biscuit"

Ohh yes the biscuit thing ! Deffo x

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By *hilledout-coupleCouple
over a year ago

telford

Good afternoon

Good afternoon to you

Good day for a walk isn’t it

Very good day but this asshole has taken me round the park 7 times clocking all the female joggers. He won’t even let me off my lead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

May I smell your arse?

If I can smell your arse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Allo Sabre! The vets got me on a new pill and I'm shitting out white turds like a good un.

Gods sake Rex, we haven't seen that for a while.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well hello there my dear, may i inhale your heavenly derriere aroma?" *takes in a good lungful* "Oh i say, such a heady scent, im getting Dentastix, biscuits, Bakers and just a hint of human slipper. You are a lady of discerning taste, fancy joining me for a spot of scooting later?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Allo darlin, 'ow 'bout a sniff?"

"Piss off Rover, we all know you've lost ya bollocks, i want a real dog!"

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

Depends if they know one another, they're like humans, a little cautious and reserved with strangers but more relaxed with ones they know. They have friends, enemies and can be jealous and possessive as humans.

Body language tells you more about how a dog is. Some breeds are more vocal but excessive barking isn't a good sign.

Humans think they invented social media but dogs have been doing P-mail for ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine's is prbably bitching about me for making him smell like watermelon or coconut and putting an anorak on him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Border Collie

"I once got extra food for fetching a ball all day"

Rottweiler

"I once got extra food for removing a burglars"!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I better have a big breakfast after this long hike!

Ooh rabbits !"

That's not how you pronounce it!

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By *allBristolManMan
over a year ago

nowhere

'DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN!'

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By *appytrailmanMan
over a year ago

Manchester

"'DAN! DAN! DAN! DAN!'"

Your dog is Alan Partridge?

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Small dogs all sound like the Mitchell brothers.

Labradors sound like Gylles Brandreth.

Fact

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

I like Ezekiel and Tony who I saw on Twitter. Not sure if link can be posted.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

[Removed by poster at 11/09/20 12:40:09]

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

There was a Far Side cartoon by Gary Larson on exactly this. A scientist had created a dog translator and it had a picture of dogs barking a cars, postmen, nothing etc. The translation for all of them is "Hey! Hey! Hey!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am so excite

am a gud boi

henloo gud boi dogz

wow wut a nice walk

am so excite

am a happ doggo

i like grrasz

sniff sniff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/09/20 12:50:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guide dog that didn't get given a doggie biscuit.

'Yes, of course the roads clear and safe for you to cross'

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