FabSwingers.com forum: If worrying serves no purpose, why do we do it?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Answers below please. I was talking with a colleague who said they’d like to spend less time being worried about things but they cant seem to help themselves. How does one be more supportive?

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

[Removed by poster at 08/09/20 17:34:34]

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Stop thinking of it as worrying and see it as high-speed planning for all scenarios..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A friend once told me “you’re going to die if you worry, you’re going to die if you don’t”

It stuck with me so I don’t, not that I did much anyway, too chilled for all of that.

Tell your friend to maybe try yoga, it totally clears the mind and brings about calmness and quietness in copious amounts.

Good luck anyway x

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

"Answers below please. I was talking with a colleague who said they’d like to spend less time being worried about things but they cant seem to help themselves. How does one be more supportive? "

Read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, failing that CBT

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside

it's part of the flight or fight mechanism in our brain, we are geared towards looking for danger which many moons ago would have been a predator but in this modern age it is more likely to be related to social status. Our brains store and keep reminding us of dangers so we can better avoid them which was great when you had a sabretooth running after you, not so now.

If you can't control it stop worrying by finding something else to occupy your mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i use to worry myself sick.

close friends including some here will tell you i was a horrible person to text or speak to.

always down about myself, unhappy with life in general, and im sure it put a few of them off from contacting me.

the biggest problem in my life is that im so driven in everything i do if someone doesnt pull their weight or meet my expectations i go for them like roy keane in the tunnel before kick off.

i lost work because i would snap and be offering people outside and each employer would say the same thing ' youre a good worker but you just fly off the handle and get peoples back up'

then i took about a year off. looked at everything and said fuck it.

no more worrying what others think. no more running around doing the work others didnt want to do.

no more waking up during the night angry and confused.

i learnt to say to bosses and people NO.

no more a human doing, no being a people pleaser.

the bosses soon noticed this guy isnt always available so they started loading up others.

the key was to care less.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Stop thinking of it as worrying and see it as high-speed planning for all scenarios..

I looked at some self help stuff online today because I’m getting concerned about my levels of worrying, and it basically said this (amongst other things).

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I am a constant worrier. I worry about things that are even outside of my control.

I think of worst case scenarios and try to pre plan around it.

I think it started when I had kids. It’s gotten worse as a mum to a child with ASD who has no self awareness or sense of danger. I’ve had to become hyper vigilant to keep an eye on him to keep him safe..

I worry about things that haven’t happened and the future.

It’s a tiring way to live, and I’m more than aware that it’s weird, but I still do it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Answers below please. I was talking with a colleague who said they’d like to spend less time being worried about things but they cant seem to help themselves. How does one be more supportive?

Read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, failing that CBT"

Ive heard of this book! I’ll suggest it. Ta

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meditate daily. I do and have done for years. I can recommend a number of apps to get you started.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

It can stem from so many places.

*Our parents constantly making criticisms

*asking a colleague/manager "what if xyz happens?* and they dismiss it, then xyz does fucking happen and now you think, "bollocks, I gotta keep my eyes open for them too"

And so it continues. You try to think of/plan for every eventually "just in case"

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By *heGentleman2024Man
over a year ago

North West

Worrying is something we all do.. its completely natural. But the trick is knowing how to deal with it.. life throws us curveballs often.. there’s a famous quote from one of the Rocky films about how many times you can get hit and carry on going.. thats the key in my opinion. You can always talk it out with someone and it helps.

Im a worry all the time, but luckily i can deal with it in small portions

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By *iddle ManMan
over a year ago

Walsall

I always thought that it was over thinking and just planning for all scenarios when I was younger, like some kind of magic sherlock style superhero brain guy, but now I'm that bit older and wiser I now know I that's its probably anxiety and worry, it's not all a bad things as some nerves and worry make things exciting and different, but it's when it's out of my control, I just lose the plot.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

OMG! I can never understand why some people tie themselves in knots over the most trivial things ...

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside

"OMG! I can never understand why some people tie themselves in knots over the most trivial things ... "

It's not a choice for most, brains are crazy messed up things!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Worrying is something we all do.. its completely natural. But the trick is knowing how to deal with it.. life throws us curveballs often.. there’s a famous quote from one of the Rocky films about how many times you can get hit and carry on going.. thats the key in my opinion. You can always talk it out with someone and it helps.

Im a worry all the time, but luckily i can deal with it in small portions

Fighting fires.

Which ones could turn into a catastrophe and which ones, if left will do no more than smoulder a bit until you're able to deal with it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OMG! I can never understand why some people tie themselves in knots over the most trivial things ... "

Like anxiety is that simple, if it was just a case of ‘don’t worry about it’ do you think people would choose to carry on worrying, it’s not something that can be controlled easily, if you try and stop it can manifest elsewhere. Comments like this really don’t help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can worry a lot which can then trigger anxiety. A panic attack will also cause worrying (which is basically a faulty fight or flight response when there is no danger).

When I'm anxious I will just try to ride it out but also use it to concentrate on what I need to plan to do so I don't need to worry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because it’s a natural aspect of our danger response.

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By *artyanna16200TV/TS
over a year ago

leeds

The book of fuck it is full of helpful hints to soothe a furrowed brow , aging pricess seems to offer more suggestions as to the consequences , maturity is the capacity for telling the aging process to go fuck itself !

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