Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to The Lounge |
Jump to newest |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I saw an interesting debate about it of how when some meet only the one of the couple wants a child but not the other one, they love eachother but the one who wanted a child had a hard decision to make, to stay or go, have you encounterd that problem, what would be the solution to this? The host of the program didnt know it either, all I can guess is that it have to be a really tough decision to make from that person." Its the kind of discussion we had before things got serious. Its much harder to try and have that discussion once you are in a long term relationship. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I saw an interesting debate about it of how when some meet only the one of the couple wants a child but not the other one, they love eachother but the one who wanted a child had a hard decision to make, to stay or go, have you encounterd that problem, what would be the solution to this? The host of the program didnt know it either, all I can guess is that it have to be a really tough decision to make from that person." Sometimes you don't know what you don't know. My ex forced kids on me. Was the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm eternally greatful for that. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I saw an interesting debate about it of how when some meet only the one of the couple wants a child but not the other one, they love eachother but the one who wanted a child had a hard decision to make, to stay or go, have you encounterd that problem, what would be the solution to this? The host of the program didnt know it either, all I can guess is that it have to be a really tough decision to make from that person." I’ve been there There‘s a 20 year gap between us I decided to leave I loved her still and by leaving set her free She now has a child and we still talk as friends all good. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I saw an interesting debate about it of how when some meet only the one of the couple wants a child but not the other one, they love eachother but the one who wanted a child had a hard decision to make, to stay or go, have you encounterd that problem, what would be the solution to this? The host of the program didnt know it either, all I can guess is that it have to be a really tough decision to make from that person." Always cringe when men encourage chats about children on here, It's inappropriate | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I saw an interesting debate about it of how when some meet only the one of the couple wants a child but not the other one, they love eachother but the one who wanted a child had a hard decision to make, to stay or go, have you encounterd that problem, what would be the solution to this? The host of the program didnt know it either, all I can guess is that it have to be a really tough decision to make from that person. Always cringe when men encourage chats about children on here, It's inappropriate" By adding to it you are doing what? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I saw an interesting debate about it of how when some meet only the one of the couple wants a child but not the other one, they love eachother but the one who wanted a child had a hard decision to make, to stay or go, have you encounterd that problem, what would be the solution to this? The host of the program didnt know it either, all I can guess is that it have to be a really tough decision to make from that person. Always cringe when men encourage chats about children on here, It's inappropriate" Why? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I saw an interesting debate about it of how when some meet only the one of the couple wants a child but not the other one, they love eachother but the one who wanted a child had a hard decision to make, to stay or go, have you encounterd that problem, what would be the solution to this? The host of the program didnt know it either, all I can guess is that it have to be a really tough decision to make from that person. Always cringe when men encourage chats about children on here, It's inappropriate By adding to it you are doing what?" Letting them know it's inappropriate what are you doing here? On second thoughts don't answer that | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I saw an interesting debate about it of how when some meet only the one of the couple wants a child but not the other one, they love eachother but the one who wanted a child had a hard decision to make, to stay or go, have you encounterd that problem, what would be the solution to this? The host of the program didnt know it either, all I can guess is that it have to be a really tough decision to make from that person. Always cringe when men encourage chats about children on here, It's inappropriate Why?" Because this is an adult site so children should not be discussed | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I saw an interesting debate about it of how when some meet only the one of the couple wants a child but not the other one, they love eachother but the one who wanted a child had a hard decision to make, to stay or go, have you encounterd that problem, what would be the solution to this? The host of the program didnt know it either, all I can guess is that it have to be a really tough decision to make from that person. Always cringe when men encourage chats about children on here, It's inappropriate Why? Because this is an adult site so children should not be discussed" It is a part of a forum where everything is discussed. It's not inappropriate at all. You thinking of it being inappropriate speaks volumes. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I saw an interesting debate about it of how when some meet only the one of the couple wants a child but not the other one, they love eachother but the one who wanted a child had a hard decision to make, to stay or go, have you encounterd that problem, what would be the solution to this? The host of the program didnt know it either, all I can guess is that it have to be a really tough decision to make from that person. Always cringe when men encourage chats about children on here, It's inappropriate" He's not encouraging chats about children as such. He's encouraging opinions on how couples might solve a situation in which one of them wanted children and the other didn't. That is in no way "about children" in the sense that you're implying | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I saw an interesting debate about it of how when some meet only the one of the couple wants a child but not the other one, they love eachother but the one who wanted a child had a hard decision to make, to stay or go, have you encounterd that problem, what would be the solution to this? The host of the program didnt know it either, all I can guess is that it have to be a really tough decision to make from that person. Always cringe when men encourage chats about children on here, It's inappropriate Why? Because this is an adult site so children should not be discussed It is a part of a forum where everything is discussed. It's not inappropriate at all. You thinking of it being inappropriate speaks volumes." Sure it does, Nice turnaround. I just don't think you should be discussing kids on an adult site but I'll leave you to it | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I saw an interesting debate about it of how when some meet only the one of the couple wants a child but not the other one, they love eachother but the one who wanted a child had a hard decision to make, to stay or go, have you encounterd that problem, what would be the solution to this? The host of the program didnt know it either, all I can guess is that it have to be a really tough decision to make from that person. Always cringe when men encourage chats about children on here, It's inappropriate He's not encouraging chats about children as such. He's encouraging opinions on how couples might solve a situation in which one of them wanted children and the other didn't. That is in no way "about children" in the sense that you're implying " Thank you. Common sense at last | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Sure it does, Nice turnaround. I just don't think you should be discussing kids on an adult site but I'll leave you to it" Think about what you've actually said, and implied. The OP was asking about how position of polar opposites in a relationship can be overcome. In this particular case, it is arguably one of the most powerful reasons to have a relationship. I thought it was an interesting and appropriate question. On the other hand, you've somehow managed to imply a more perverse angle in it all. This may be a sex site, but in the forums, particularly the lounge section, all aspects of life are discussed. And it's great that people from all walks of life pile in and discuss diverse subjects. You can learn a lot in here from peoples comments, just not necessarily about the subject they are commenting on. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Not sure what the solution would be...neither of us want kids thankfully. I think it's unfair and irresponsible to have kids unless you want them, obviously shit happens sometimes and you make the best of it but I just think if you're not desperate to be a parent, don't try for kids... Lu " Yes, it is a tricky one too. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"depends whats the over riding feeling.. their love for each other or the priority of lifestyle When dating i always made my views on children known early days. " That is a good point, as it is always a good idea to be upfront to the partner of your wanting at the start of the relationship | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Sure it does, Nice turnaround. I just don't think you should be discussing kids on an adult site but I'll leave you to it Think about what you've actually said, and implied. The OP was asking about how position of polar opposites in a relationship can be overcome. In this particular case, it is arguably one of the most powerful reasons to have a relationship. I thought it was an interesting and appropriate question. On the other hand, you've somehow managed to imply a more perverse angle in it all. This may be a sex site, but in the forums, particularly the lounge section, all aspects of life are discussed. And it's great that people from all walks of life pile in and discuss diverse subjects. You can learn a lot in here from peoples comments, just not necessarily about the subject they are commenting on." | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I saw an interesting debate about it of how when some meet only the one of the couple wants a child but not the other one, they love eachother but the one who wanted a child had a hard decision to make, to stay or go, have you encounterd that problem, what would be the solution to this? The host of the program didnt know it either, all I can guess is that it have to be a really tough decision to make from that person. Always cringe when men encourage chats about children on here, It's inappropriate" I think others have a lot of value to add. Given it takes the help of a male to make it happen. So maybe just change the channel if its not for you. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"From a man's point of view if in a relationship you do not want children but your partner does you are going to lose. If you go through with it the relationship will be weaker and after birth women can change towards their partners. It's a very emotional time before,during and after for a woman and their feeling change because of depression and in some cases they feel less loved at the baby is getting all the attention. What can happen is the man ends up having to leave the relationship and then has many years of financial support to provide for a child firstly he didn't want, secondly he now cannot get access too. Aa a man you just can't win in this situation so you are always best making it clear no is final and if that causes problems it's best to go before the damage is done and your being slagged off all over Facebook and itv4." This is wrong on so many levels. Firstly, if your partner wants children and you don't, and you know you never will, then just leave. It prevents all the problems you describe later. Relationships change after childbirth, and that's how it should be. Being a parent means putting the child, or children's needs before your own. Men can change too, it's not all about women. I'm a father. I don't think I'm unique in saying that when each of my children were born, my feelings changed on pretty much everything. Men have emotions too, not just women. My relationship didn't last with my children's mother. I'm glad, and so are my children. I have sole residency. I'm chasing her for financial support. You appear to have a very outdated view of the world, or you're spending too much time on mumsnet, which is the paramilitary division of the WI. Here we actually agree, although partially. If there is an imbalance, then leaving is the best option. For him, for her, and any yet created children. It is wrong for one person to hold onto a relationship if the other party wants children and they don't. When the option to have children is no longer there, a huge amount of resentment will be. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As controversial as it sounds, I'm not sure men would have children if they were honest. I may be completely wrong." My ex did it was the reason we split up. Maybe I'm a man | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As controversial as it sounds, I'm not sure men would have children if they were honest. I may be completely wrong." I think the fact that the woman does the pregnancy and delivery bit and then is (usually) the main care giver for the next 18+ years and that men (usually) mainly get to do all the nice, fun stuff with the kids sways them towards wanting children. If the shoe were on the other foot I think many (not all) would have a different outlook or there would at least be a higher number of one child families | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As controversial as it sounds, I'm not sure men would have children if they were honest. I may be completely wrong. My ex did it was the reason we split up. Maybe I'm a man " Me too! Certainly explains my facial hair... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As controversial as it sounds, I'm not sure men would have children if they were honest. I may be completely wrong. My ex did it was the reason we split up. Maybe I'm a man Me too! Certainly explains my facial hair... " I'm aiming to be the mad old childless spinster in my later years with the Poirot like moustache | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As controversial as it sounds, I'm not sure men would have children if they were honest. I may be completely wrong." I think they do but often want them a bit later in life than some women. I would love a couple more now everything is sorted and could afford a nanny and cleaner but Mrs says she done lol | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I'm aiming to be the mad old childless spinster in my later years with the Poirot like moustache " Start your preparations today by getting a few cats... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's a relationship breaker because there isn't a compromise. One person has to live for ever with the consequences of something they didn't want to happen. Having children is tough on a relationship and not having them if you really want them is too. Luckily we both agreed on timing and number. " You are right there as there are no compromise on it unless they change their mind about it. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What an awful position to be in. The love of your life or children! I would probably choose to have children...couldn't see my life without them." Yes it is not a good position to be in to choose between the two there. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I was with my partner - who I didn't live with - for 5 years. He didn't want children but I did so I had a child using a sperm donor and my partner is now my fwb it's a compromise that has worked very well " That is also a good solution to it as well | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I saw an interesting debate about it of how when some meet only the one of the couple wants a child but not the other one, they love eachother but the one who wanted a child had a hard decision to make, to stay or go, have you encounterd that problem, what would be the solution to this? The host of the program didnt know it either, all I can guess is that it have to be a really tough decision to make from that person." Kids. Every time. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |