FabSwingers.com forum: man down, man down!

By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

yesterday when I was wallpapering and using sharp scissors, climbing ladders and balancing precariously on furniture etc I sustained an injury.

Not from any of the obvious ones above, but as I was measuring the very last drop of paper I sliced my finger on the bastard tape measure. Cunt.

What injuries have you sustained from objects that should come with a warning label but don't?

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I needed a knee op because I'm so short I had to jump on to a swivel chair. Which span and jammed my knee between it and a lab bench

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I sliced my finger open whilst attempting to open a tin of Corned Beef with that stupid fucking key thingy once .

I agree . Cunt

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

Had a carpet needle curved go right through my hand when working in a house doing a Rewire

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By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

Why the fuck did I ask this question? It's already making me nauseous

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

30ft up a ladder that decided gravity was stronger.

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I moved a glass coffee table and didn’t realise the lower shelf was attached by those sucker things not screws... severed 2 toes..

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

My bloody bike!! Not only did it leave me looking like I’d been attacked but it cost me the earth at the dentist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got smacked in the face with a wheelie bin lid, my forehead was about twice the size it usually is!

I'm actually gonna send you a pic too of when my eye collided with the back of my daughters head, just because it's so funny

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By *rambuie100Man
over a year ago

essex/suffolk border

"yesterday when I was wallpapering and using sharp scissors, climbing ladders and balancing precariously on furniture etc I sustained an injury.

Not from any of the obvious ones above, but as I was measuring the very last drop of paper I sliced my finger on the bastard tape measure. Cunt.

What injuries have you sustained from objects that should come with a warning label but don't?

Many on a building site... i had a big chunk out my head. Tripped over someones mess, high speed headbutt onto open boiler cupboard door edge. Blood everywhere and world went black for a minute or 2 Lump like an egg tor days.

Those tape cuts sting like a bastard, bless ya

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

When I was three a toy pushchair folded up as I was pushing it. I still have the scar on my finger.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Not an object, per se, but carting a growing human round in my uterus caused permenant nerve damage, because she squashed my lumbosacral plexus

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By *rambuie100Man
over a year ago

essex/suffolk border

"30ft up a ladder that decided gravity was stronger. "

That’s not good dude, we cant shit feathers and glide in a few seconds. Been there. Break anything ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once clanked my Johnson, between two dumbbell weights, whilst doing shoulder raises.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I took a nipple to the eyeball whilst a lady was riding me once

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I open the cupboard door and the whole cabinet came off the wall, the central part him me right in the face and split my lip on the inside, blocked my eye and I was lucky it didn’t cut my head open, all the glass bottles of sauces, jams, herbs crashed to the floor, my son came running in as he heard the glass breaking and my shouting in pain and cut his foot open on the broken glass, it was a proper family affair

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By *aughty Hubby n Sexy WifeCouple
over a year ago

Scarborogh

"yesterday when I was wallpapering and using sharp scissors, climbing ladders and balancing precariously on furniture etc I sustained an injury.

Not from any of the obvious ones above, but as I was measuring the very last drop of paper I sliced my finger on the bastard tape measure. Cunt.

What injuries have you sustained from objects that should come with a warning label but don't?

Beware of hand sanitizer! It’s obviously bloody everywhere at the moment but it will hurt more than the original injury if you get any in it! (Voice of experience here) Mrs SW

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Treading on Lego.

Shit got real.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I dropped a plate. It smashed. One of the pieces rico..... riqosh....... shot up and sliced my inner calf muscle.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

When I was little i fell of a really high slide and landed on my arm funny - broke it so bad the bone was sticking out! Beware the slide!!

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

Mandoline food slicer, took the end of a finger clean off.

Sledgehammer, wonky pointing finger.

Step ladder, 4 stitches in my noggin & 3 hours i cant remember.

Tea towel, towel whipped somebody & dislocated my shoulder.

Bouncy castle, summersaulted and dislocated my shoulder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cut my palm open a little on one of the plastic sheds panels, that's most recent.

When I was quite young, I cut my finger open on a new axe while chopping kindling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything hard ( no not that)within walking distance of my little toe.

I have an annoying habit of being able to accidently kick anything!!

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I’ve just cut my tongue open eating a cracker

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

"I’ve just cut my tongue open eating a cracker

assault & buttery?

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By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

"yesterday when I was wallpapering and using sharp scissors, climbing ladders and balancing precariously on furniture etc I sustained an injury.

Not from any of the obvious ones above, but as I was measuring the very last drop of paper I sliced my finger on the bastard tape measure. Cunt.

What injuries have you sustained from objects that should come with a warning label but don't?

Beware of hand sanitizer! It’s obviously bloody everywhere at the moment but it will hurt more than the original injury if you get any in it! (Voice of experience here) Mrs SW"

Luckily I'm on holiday from work (hence the decorating and DIY)

Fuck me.... hand sanitiser, finding cuts you didn't know you had and having to not swear in front of customers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yesterday when I was wallpapering and using sharp scissors, climbing ladders and balancing precariously on furniture etc I sustained an injury.

Not from any of the obvious ones above, but as I was measuring the very last drop of paper I sliced my finger on the bastard tape measure. Cunt.

What injuries have you sustained from objects that should come with a warning label but don't?

Poor princess x

It’s for this exact reason I’ve never measured my penis.

I can’t think of a single example of me receiving any injuries from objects like this.

I’m just that ‘ard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was little i fell of a really high slide and landed on my arm funny - broke it so bad the bone was sticking out! Beware the slide!! "

I snapped my arm when I slipped on wet grass. Heard it snap. I was adult age.

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By *airytaleOfNewPorkMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham/Telford

I balanced on 2 stacked chairs to look in a loft hatch. The chairs slipped... the loft hatch closed my middle finger and was made of metal... it ripped the tip of my finger almost clean off.... that hurt

But im a twat for not using a ladder

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

I was using a extension ladder as I was bringing down the extended bit it jumped out of its guide and hit by thumb forcing it out of place, It was just hanging there all floppy

I had to shake it a few times until it popped back into place, I was lucky it was only a light ladder and not one of the heavy duty ones or it could of snapped my thumb clean of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was loading blocks for my extension and when loading a stack that was at waist height dropped one one the end of cock. I was going commando and wearing loose shorts so it was flapping about.

Luckily no real damage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ohhh. The time I burnt my vagina with my glass dildo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ohhh. The time I burnt my vagina with my glass dildo."

I remember that!

Well, not actually being present but you saying on the forum.

Ouch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ohhh. The time I burnt my vagina with my glass dildo."

Lube lube lube

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I banged ma knee on a knee high bollard while oggling some totty on the other side of the road. Ma mates were full of sympathy

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By *rambuie100Man
over a year ago

essex/suffolk border

"Treading on Lego.

Shit got real.

Oooo, thats never good day out !!, even the smallest bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m always getting really deep paper cuts. Just don’t get how I do it but they hurt.

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By *rincess peach OP Woman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I’m always getting really deep paper cuts. Just don’t get how I do it but they hurt.

I gave my workmate a deep one across the fleshy bit of nose underneath that separates your nostrils. What the fuck is it called? You know the bit a bull has pierced.

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By *ichaelsmyMan
over a year ago

douglas

worst injurires i've seen or heard about.

playing five a side football. the ball is kicked hard and hits the cross bar. the goalie turns as the ball bounces down, spreads his legs as the ball bounces up. it then hits right between the legs.

so hard it pushed his balls back inside him. good job it was mixed teams so the ladies could help him. the medics arrived and got us to bounce him hard off of the floor to knock them back out again. frozen pea special.

a guy had not seen his wife for a few months, came back and they were having fun in the bedroom. she broke the valve that lets blood out, but not the one that lets blood in. his penis got bigger, he fainted and woke up in hospital room that looked like something out of a horror movie. the lady doctor explained that she stabbed him with a scapel to relieve the pressure and let the blood out. he doesnt remember getting to hospital in an ambulance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My bloody bike!! Not only did it leave me looking like I’d been attacked but it cost me the earth at the dentist

Mine left me with my knee cap hanging on by 2 inches of skin. Was 15 and its never beem right since

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

Mucking about in the garden with a mate, playing catch with a yoga ball, as i threw it at him his girlfriend shouted him, the gym ball hit him in the head and knocked him off his feet, as he landed he knocked himself out & dislocated his shoulder, then proceeded to have an epileptic fit

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I’m always getting really deep paper cuts. Just don’t get how I do it but they hurt.

I gave my workmate a deep one across the fleshy bit of nose underneath that separates your nostrils. What the fuck is it called? You know the bit a bull has pierced."

That would be the septum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ohhh. The time I burnt my vagina with my glass dildo.

I remember that!

Well, not actually being present but you saying on the forum.

Ouch

I wish I could forget it! That dildo hasn't been anywhere near any temperature play ever since

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Medical records. They seem to make themof the thickest cardboard still capable of paper cuts. They're so deep they bleed.

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By *inky_CarpenterMan
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Licked an envelope to fast and got a papercut on the tip of my tounge.

Pain was completely disproportionate to the injury.

Dislocated a pinkie finger playing with my four year old in the pool, with a stupid light plastic kids blow up ball.... WTF?

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By *0NyorksMan
over a year ago

.......

"I got smacked in the face with a wheelie bin lid, my forehead was about twice the size it usually is!

I'm actually gonna send you a pic too of when my eye collided with the back of my daughters head, just because it's so funny

Hahaha... i did this too as it blew open in the wind and smashed my nose. Bloody things.

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Pencils.

I accidently stabbed myself in the gum with a pencil (that really hurt)

Actually, I also stabbed myself under the nail with a pencil too (that also really hurt)!

In both cases the lead broke off the pencils and left permanent marks. I guess they could be classed as tattoos

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By *orkyguyMan
over a year ago

Doncaster

32 stitches in my scrotum while stretching up I slipped into a hook long story lol

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

Fell down the stairs top to bottom my toe nail polish marked above the hand rail - still can’t work out how my feet ended up above the hand rail ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/09/20 17:20:52]

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By *xelf787Man
over a year ago

Chorlton, Manchester

Managed to rip the end of my pinkie finger open yesterday with the nail of my other pinkie finger

not sure how I managed to do that!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"[Removed by poster at 05/09/20 17:20:52]"

Hope nothing serious was removed. Did it hurt?!

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By *etsplay68Man
over a year ago

beaconsfield

"Ohhh. The time I burnt my vagina with my glass dildo."
blimey you must have been pumping it like a sewing machine

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By *reeneggsandsamMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

I've had my heart ripped in two. The scars don't heal.

Seriously though the minor injuries heal, they're all part of life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a 9in grinder kick when I was an apprentice got me smack in the mush, bleeding took about an hour to totally stop and Was walking around Like mick Jagger for a week.

Stabbed myself in the knee with a tig welder I’d just finished using mmmm roast pork

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By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham

I’ve grated my knuckles several times while in a cheese frenzy...very topical as the last time was just yesterday! Worst time I could actually see the bone.

I’ve also ripped a bald patch in my scalp by getting my hair stick on fly paper.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mandoline food slicer, took the end of a finger clean off.

Sledgehammer, wonky pointing finger.

Step ladder, 4 stitches in my noggin & 3 hours i cant remember.

Tea towel, towel whipped somebody & dislocated my shoulder.

Bouncy castle, summersaulted and dislocated my shoulder."

I am banned from using the mandolines now, I had never used one until about a year ago, didn't realise there was a safety feature...I could have bled out with the amount of blood! (I maybe lying about the bleeding out part...there was alot though!)

Danish x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Queen of stupid here, worked in a coffee shop once and the blender got stuck with a coffee bean, never used one before (not to get stuck beans out from anyway) of course stupid pants here thought she would press the button to release the bean as I pushed...needless to say I had to clean the whole damn thing with a chunk of my index finger sliced open (with a fashionable blue plaster). Twat

Danish x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yesterday when I was wallpapering and using sharp scissors, climbing ladders and balancing precariously on furniture etc I sustained an injury.

Not from any of the obvious ones above, but as I was measuring the very last drop of paper I sliced my finger on the bastard tape measure. Cunt.

What injuries have you sustained from objects that should come with a warning label but don't?

I got hit in the face with one of those bungee cord things. I honestly thought someone had punched me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone bought me pink tools as I work in the building trade.

Problem with pink tools is they aren’t really tools.

The tape measure broke and slashed my finger.

The ‘Stanley’ knife let the blade escape and got another.

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By *nked_kittenWoman
over a year ago

Ankh Morpork

"My bloody bike!! Not only did it leave me looking like I’d been attacked but it cost me the earth at the dentist

I have scars up and down my shins from my vampire peddles

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By *horehouseprincessWoman
over a year ago

small town near Munich

Was doing the dishes, a wine glas under water. Stem broke and I rammed it into my palm. Had just moved out of my parents house and no bandages or anything in the house. Wrapped a tea towel around my hand and walked bleeding into the pharmacy around the corner… the lady there almost keeled over at the sight and I still have the scar lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Snapped my achilles tendon doing martial arts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nurse here... Sending out plasters a plenty

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By *irth VaderMan
over a year ago

Busby

[Removed by poster at 05/09/20 20:20:07]

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By *irth VaderMan
over a year ago

Busby

Chopped the tip of my left index finger off 29 years ago when the wind caught the back door of my van and and it slammed shut taking the digit clean off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Snapped my achilles tendon doing martial arts

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By *uvhandle20Man
over a year ago

SE London

A couple of years ago I was cleaning up the bushes when a branch cracked and scratch cut my forehead. A nice cut with a lot of blood, but didn't require stitches. But it left a nice scar just above my eyebrows ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got smacked in the face with a wheelie bin lid, my forehead was about twice the size it usually is!

I'm actually gonna send you a pic too of when my eye collided with the back of my daughters head, just because it's so funny

Hahaha... i did this too as it blew open in the wind and smashed my nose. Bloody things. "

That's exactly what happened to me too. It was full and I was midway through bumping it down steps so I couldn't even put my hands up to save my face!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Hospital treatment needed for a cut, whilst moving some of my kittens

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