FabSwingers.com forum: Will you marry me...at some point?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Although I have zero desire to settle down, I'm at an age where I do panic sometimes about who I'm going to watch telly and take trips to the seaside with in my later years...

So, I've had the Fab lawyers draw up a contract to help out us singles (or couples who feel like sharing their sheltered housing with any others). They've asked me to point out that your eye candy is probably not going to still look as they do now, so it would be unwise to base your proposals solely on aesthetics on this occasion, although of course this can be a factor

To propose your contract, simply fill in the blanks below!

..............................................................................

Dear ______________

If you're still available in ____ years will you marry me because _______________________?

Regards

____________

..............................................................................

Small print: 1. Contracts are not legally, sexually or any other way binding, as they don't really exist. 2. This is just a daft excuse to say something nice about someone, you really don't need to think about this too deeply

. 3. Multiple proposals are allowed. 4. Why not surprise someone who doesn't know you think they're cool? 5. I'm bored.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For example:

Dear Caffeine Dusk

If you're still available in 30 years, will you marry me because you seem kind, interesting, hilarious and I want a shot of your book collection?

Regards

Lana

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I’m presently married to Cheeky and Nora but one or two more wives can’t hurt right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be serious for a brief moment.. Id genuinely love to be married one day but its a real fear i wont ever get that chance.

Id love to have a surname of someone that means everything to me..

Someone just pitty me please..

hahaha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m presently married to Cheeky and Nora but one or two more wives can’t hurt right?

Absolutely! Polyamorous, same sex, platonic, bromances - all allowed

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"I’m presently married to Cheeky and Nora but one or two more wives can’t hurt right?

Absolutely! Polyamorous, same sex, platonic, bromances - all allowed

In that case: F&B - be my lawfully wedded husband I beg you sir! I can’t cook, I know bugger all about mechanics and I don’t understand the offside rule in football.

I do however love both watermelon related sex and leaf blowers

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"For example:

Dear Caffeine Dusk

If you're still available in 30 years, will you marry me because you seem kind, interesting, hilarious and I want a shot of your book collection?

Regards

Lana"

Dear Lana,

I have a pretty hard rule of only being married for 36 hours at the most, at which point my legal team beging the divorce proceedings and the Divorce Party begins.

(There's lots of cake and mingling; it's quite an occasion.)

However, access to said books can be obtained through bribery of the cookie variety.

Regards,

Dusk.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For example:

Dear Caffeine Dusk

If you're still available in 30 years, will you marry me because you seem kind, interesting, hilarious and I want a shot of your book collection?

Regards

Lana

Dear Lana,

I have a pretty hard rule of only being married for 36 hours at the most, at which point my legal team beging the divorce proceedings and the Divorce Party begins.

(There's lots of cake and mingling; it's quite an occasion.)

However, access to said books can be obtained through bribery of the cookie variety.

Regards,

Dusk."

This totally works for me, deal

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To be serious for a brief moment.. Id genuinely love to be married one day but its a real fear i wont ever get that chance.

Id love to have a surname of someone that means everything to me..

Someone just pitty me please..

hahaha

Get proposing then Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would rather shoot myself in the head...

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Woa... Big commitment... Can i have one fabwife and a few fabmistress on the side where we all play happy house

.... All i ask is, have a nice bum

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I would rather shoot myself in the head...

same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't even get a proposal from my actual boyfriend...s'not like anyone else is gonna bother

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

psssst...it's not real

I'm away to pick out my wedding lingerie now anyway, I need distractions that don't involve my work today so that'll do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would rather shoot myself in the head...

same

You would shoot me in the head?!?

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

"psssst...it's not real

I'm away to pick out my wedding lingerie now anyway, I need distractions that don't involve my work today so that'll do! "

Ooo I'm more intrigued now you speak about getting to choose wedding lingerie!

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

Just north of Bristol

A fab wife would be great!

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Woa... Big commitment... Can i have one fabwife and a few fabmistress on the side where we all play happy house

.... All i ask is, have a nice bum

Could I be a fab mistress? Pretty please?? I'll let you see my bum

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I would rather shoot myself in the head...

same

You would shoot me in the head?!?

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I can't even get a proposal from my actual boyfriend...s'not like anyone else is gonna bother

Lu , if nobody marries you by 40 I will

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't even get a proposal from my actual boyfriend...s'not like anyone else is gonna bother

Lu , if nobody marries you by 40 I will

I already have that deal with one of my best mates...J is gonna be our bridesmaid

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

A wife for Mrs would be great

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I can't even get a proposal from my actual boyfriend...s'not like anyone else is gonna bother

Lu , if nobody marries you by 40 I will

I already have that deal with one of my best mates...J is gonna be our bridesmaid

* Sulks *

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't even get a proposal from my actual boyfriend...s'not like anyone else is gonna bother

Lu , if nobody marries you by 40 I will

I already have that deal with one of my best mates...J is gonna be our bridesmaid

* Sulks *

You can be a bridesmaid too...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not filling in the form as I'm not prepared to give my intended the option to say no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has Llandudno and a ice-cream shoved up ya hooter all over it

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I can't even get a proposal from my actual boyfriend...s'not like anyone else is gonna bother

Lu , if nobody marries you by 40 I will

I already have that deal with one of my best mates...J is gonna be our bridesmaid

* Sulks *

You can be a bridesmaid too...

"
Can Prince be the ring bearer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't even get a proposal from my actual boyfriend...s'not like anyone else is gonna bother

Lu , if nobody marries you by 40 I will

I already have that deal with one of my best mates...J is gonna be our bridesmaid

* Sulks *

You can be a bridesmaid too...

Can Prince be the ring bearer

YES!

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I can't even get a proposal from my actual boyfriend...s'not like anyone else is gonna bother

Lu , if nobody marries you by 40 I will

I already have that deal with one of my best mates...J is gonna be our bridesmaid

* Sulks *

You can be a bridesmaid too...

Can Prince be the ring bearer

YES!

Awww your good to me xx

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Exclusive Update: Wedding dresses for under a tenner on eBay

I’m going to look awesome

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Its getting to the point where I genuinely believe friends and family would pay a guy just to date me let alone marry me

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Oh just marry me hurry up

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I’m presently married to Cheeky and Nora but one or two more wives can’t hurt right?

Cheat

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

"psssst...it's not real

I'm away to pick out my wedding lingerie now anyway, I need distractions that don't involve my work today so that'll do! "

Don't forget to get the 50% discount on divorce lingerie at the same time also.

Have a lovely day, 2050 wife.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Dear Lana,

We're not up for marrying, but you can count on us for trips to the seaside or watching TV or whatever enjoyable activities you like for many years to come whenever distance can be overcome. We both think you are lovely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.....next question

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"I’m presently married to Cheeky and Nora but one or two more wives can’t hurt right?

Cheat

Can I marry you to? Xxx

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

"Woa... Big commitment... Can i have one fabwife and a few fabmistress on the side where we all play happy house

.... All i ask is, have a nice bum

Could I be a fab mistress? Pretty please?? I'll let you see my bum

I might just let you be my mistress due to your snoggable lips

... Still want to see your bum though

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I don't want to get married (even fab married) but I'd love to have a non-wedding registry somewhere and have everyone buy me gifts as payback for all the wedding gifts, wedding anniversary gifts, new baby gifts, christening gifts, first communion gifts etc. I've bought for them and their families over the years.

Maybe if it was a sham wedding so my spouse could get a visa I could get paid for the wedding too... hmm... *goes off to Google it*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have my gorgeous hubby already I just need a wifey for lifey now

Any sexy bi ladies give me a hola xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have lots of wives but ssshhhhh don’t tell my real wife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd just like to be a bridesmaid please, especially if the best man/woman is hot

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Well ive always said I'd never marry and haven't been suckered into it yet

Happy to help out the bridesmaids with their outfits and make sure they're all wearing suitable lingerie though

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

[Removed by poster at 01/09/20 16:08:31]

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Going off at a tangent, is bigamy still a thing?

Now everything is recorded on line I mean, so you can't get married in Leeds, Bristol and Scunthorpe and hope no one will find out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Going off at a tangent, is bigamy still a thing?

Now everything is recorded on line I mean, so you can't get married in Leeds, Bristol and Scunthorpe and hope no one will find out?"

Bigamy at Christmas - what am I to do?

Spend it with the family?

I can't - I've got two.

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By *nozcumberMan
over a year ago

Honiton

[Removed by poster at 01/09/20 16:11:30]

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Going off at a tangent, is bigamy still a thing?

Now everything is recorded on line I mean, so you can't get married in Leeds, Bristol and Scunthorpe and hope no one will find out?"

Yeah, it’s awesome - I like to have one wife per county at least

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By *nozcumberMan
over a year ago

Honiton

"To be serious for a brief moment.. Id genuinely love to be married one day but its a real fear i wont ever get that chance.

Id love to have a surname of someone that means everything to me..

Someone just pitty me please..

hahaha

I would marry you without question but spending the rest of your life with the surname Smith? Now I wouldn't wish that on anybody lol

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"Woa... Big commitment... Can i have one fabwife and a few fabmistress on the side where we all play happy house

.... All i ask is, have a nice bum

Could I be a fab mistress? Pretty please?? I'll let you see my bum

I might just let you be my mistress due to your snoggable lips

... Still want to see your bum though

Incoming!!!!! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd take a fab husband. I even still have my wedding dress so I can whack that on again x

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I’m presently married to Cheeky and Nora but one or two more wives can’t hurt right?

Cheat

Can I marry you to? Xxx"

Yes x

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

"I'd take a fab husband. I even still have my wedding dress so I can whack that on again x"

Well i can help you with that....will you be my fab wife

we can spend our days eating pizza.... And jagged edge comes to mind

Lana- can you officiate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am unmarriable, if thats a word!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd heard of 'Fab single' but not 'Fab married'!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd take a fab husband. I even still have my wedding dress so I can whack that on again x

Well i can help you with that....will you be my fab wife

we can spend our days eating pizza.... And jagged edge comes to mind

Lana- can you officiate

I will indeed be your fab wife! As long as we can also have tequila.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd take a fab husband. I even still have my wedding dress so I can whack that on again x

Well i can help you with that....will you be my fab wife

we can spend our days eating pizza.... And jagged edge comes to mind

Lana- can you officiate

Sure, I'm busy for 36ish hours when I'm 67, and then I have some plans with _partharmony but aside from that, all yours for weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no point in getting married these days.

a guy is better of pulling up his pants, yawning and walking out the door.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"no point in getting married these days.

a guy is better of pulling up his pants, yawning and walking out the door.

But I'll only give a husband anal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"no point in getting married these days.

a guy is better of pulling up his pants, yawning and walking out the door.

But I'll only give a husband anal

i stand correctly.

he runs like fuck out the door

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I am unmarriable, if thats a word!

Snap!

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

"I'd take a fab husband. I even still have my wedding dress so I can whack that on again x

Well i can help you with that....will you be my fab wife

we can spend our days eating pizza.... And jagged edge comes to mind

Lana- can you officiate

I will indeed be your fab wife! As long as we can also have tequila. "

Huzzah!!! Fab wedding of the year

Oh you needn't worry, I'm already in supra-brexit trade talks to ensure you and I have a ready supply of tequila import

it's my fabvow to you

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Can I write separate homes into my contract please? I’m not sociable enough for full time marriage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be serious for a brief moment.. Id genuinely love to be married one day but its a real fear i wont ever get that chance.

Id love to have a surname of someone that means everything to me..

Someone just pitty me please..

hahaha

Me too... on that basis... wanna get married?

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

Oi you.... yes you, ignore the time limit, let’s just agree that you will agree NOT to marry me, because well I don’t do that b*llocks, but we’ll still have a laugh on our adventures

Cheers Moi

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