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Bitten on the arse by a goose...

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Have you ever a comedy animal attack?

I got pecked by an over -enthusiastic goose as a kid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got orally violated by a moth...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I git chased round a field by what I thought were our pet sheep. Turns out they were swapped over for a, couple others, and they had a baaaaad attitude, got knocked on my arse by one of them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A goat wrestled me to the ground as a child...

Ok, he bumped me and I fell over...

Lu

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

A boat age my mum's handbag at Chessington zoo oncd, on the same trip an elephant sneezed on me.

Years later our goats are all the washing mum and I had hung on the line, up as far as they could reach. We returned home to find what was left of sheets hanging forlorn and tattered and some guilty looking goats.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

*a goat age my mum's handbag not a boat

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By *ntrepid ExplorersCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

I'll always remember when I was about 12, seeing one of our (lady) jersey cows rearing up and mounting my nanna. EEK!

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester

Mr is always getting into trouble with his animals. One of the most amusing was watching him lasso an escaped sow and then getting dragged through a load of nettles

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Another goat victim here. Used to be two a penny where I’m from. One around every corner lurking to fuck with the unwary.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mr is always getting into trouble with his animals. One of the most amusing was watching him lasso an escaped sow and then getting dragged through a load of nettles "

Hey, you and my other half would get on like house on fire, glad you find that stuff amusing

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Whilst camping with mates I awoke to see a cow enjoying our ‘enclosed’ area, one friend thought it was clever to shoo it away! It ran directly towards my pop up tent!! I shit myself! I protected my balls instead of my head! luckily it turned and jumped over the guide rope

D.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mr is always getting into trouble with his animals. One of the most amusing was watching him lasso an escaped sow and then getting dragged through a load of nettles

Hey, you and my other half would get on like house on fire, glad you find that stuff amusing "

I've got one like that. Walking along the beach at the weekend talking and not looking where I was going, put my foot straight in a hole some bloody ch!ld had dug and went arse over tit. She very nearly wee'd laughing so hard.

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mr is always getting into trouble with his animals. One of the most amusing was watching him lasso an escaped sow and then getting dragged through a load of nettles

Hey, you and my other half would get on like house on fire, glad you find that stuff amusing

I've got one like that. Walking along the beach at the weekend talking and not looking where I was going, put my foot straight in a hole some bloody ch!ld had dug and went arse over tit. She very nearly wee'd laughing so hard.

Mr"

Oh I've got loads like that, one springs to mind was while in Turkey, I'd went and got a couple drinks, walking back, the floor was really slippy, and about 5ft from our table, I slipped, couldn't stop myself with hands, as holding drinks, face plant the floor. All the while, she's in stitches nearly falling off her chair as others try to help me up .

If that's not love, I don't know what is

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By *uriouscouple83Couple
over a year ago

Worcester


"Mr is always getting into trouble with his animals. One of the most amusing was watching him lasso an escaped sow and then getting dragged through a load of nettles

Hey, you and my other half would get on like house on fire, glad you find that stuff amusing

I've got one like that. Walking along the beach at the weekend talking and not looking where I was going, put my foot straight in a hole some bloody ch!ld had dug and went arse over tit. She very nearly wee'd laughing so hard.

Mr

Oh I've got loads like that, one springs to mind was while in Turkey, I'd went and got a couple drinks, walking back, the floor was really slippy, and about 5ft from our table, I slipped, couldn't stop myself with hands, as holding drinks, face plant the floor. All the while, she's in stitches nearly falling off her chair as others try to help me up .

If that's not love, I don't know what is "

That is indeed love as long as no one is injured (badly) it is usually the facial expressions that set me off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mr is always getting into trouble with his animals. One of the most amusing was watching him lasso an escaped sow and then getting dragged through a load of nettles

Hey, you and my other half would get on like house on fire, glad you find that stuff amusing

I've got one like that. Walking along the beach at the weekend talking and not looking where I was going, put my foot straight in a hole some bloody ch!ld had dug and went arse over tit. She very nearly wee'd laughing so hard.

Mr

Oh I've got loads like that, one springs to mind was while in Turkey, I'd went and got a couple drinks, walking back, the floor was really slippy, and about 5ft from our table, I slipped, couldn't stop myself with hands, as holding drinks, face plant the floor. All the while, she's in stitches nearly falling off her chair as others try to help me up .

If that's not love, I don't know what is

That is indeed love as long as no one is injured (badly) it is usually the facial expressions that set me off. "

Well, she knows I have a high pain threshold (and secretly she is evil) but yeah, totally get what you mean about facial expressions. She's desperate to hear me scream, like proper scream with fright or whatever

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!


"Have you ever a comedy animal attack?

I got pecked by an over -enthusiastic goose as a kid.

"

Shove some paxo up his arse then in the oven for three hours That should teach the vicious little bastard a lesson!

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"Have you ever a comedy animal attack?

I got pecked by an over -enthusiastic goose as a kid.

Shove some paxo up his arse then in the oven for three hours That should teach the vicious little bastard a lesson!"

I had to check which thread I was on for a moment there!

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Went to a lake with birds (on it, not actually with me). A nearby goose took a disliking to me and squarked/hissed then flapped madly towards me. I was out of there sharpish #coward

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I was attacked by a squirrel in a park. They ganged up on me! A couple distracted me while another came from behind and ran up my leg!

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

Nope - but a pigeon got into my kitchen yesterday and totally freaked me out. My Neice and her partner had to get rid of it for me!

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

A pot belly pig kept sniffing my bum at the safari park. Tried to get his nose up my dress and nearly knocked me over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few years ago a group of us were walking in a single line on a path. Bloke at front nearly trod on an adder, jumped backwards, he went straight into bloke behind him or leaped backwards..It was human skittles!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bent over in a chicken run I now know what aspect means

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a close encounter with a bull moose off the beaten trail.

It kept licking its lips in a rather comical manner, which unbeknown to be is a sign they may be about to attack!

Despite many efforts on fab, I have failed to recieve such attention on Fab from moose or similar since!

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By *otPrinceHarryMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I have been bitten by:

Dogs, cats, a rabbit, a goose, a horse, and on one d*unken ocassion a fox.

I once had to chase a swan off a coastal road, which quickly became the swan chasing me off the road and me having to shimmy up a sea wall.

I also once rescued an owl from the middle of a country road, in that it attached itself to my foot and I had to quickly scuttle off as a lorry rapidly approached.

And I once found a spider in my crotch, having too quickly put on my jeans in the morning.

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

I used to get allergic reaction of sneezing time to time after I went for a swim. One of those days where ducks are about, it happened and I’m not exaggerating but I surrounded by at least 15 ducks and guessing shouted at quack quack every time I sneezed. It lasted at least 5-10min which I think it lasted a life time. Never scared of my life before in a day light.

Most hilarious experience for my family and anyone around at that time

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

On holiday with the family I once picked up a lizard to show the kids. It latched onto the soft skin on the inside of my middle finger. He couldn't be pulled off & it took me 20 mins for it to decide to release it's grip & feck off! It bloody hurt!!

I also stroked a lion cub which was being shown to the public at a zoo (many years ago)..it was about the size of a small dog. It rolled over & grabbed my hand, like kittens do. It clamped my fingers in it's teeth & started trying to disembowel my arm with it's rear claws!! Broke the skin & was sore for weeks.

Another time, I held a 5ft boa constrictor (another zoo..). The thing suddenly got a burst of energy, headed in between the buttons on my shirt & circled my waist. I had 2 zookeepers hands up my shirt trying to unravel it.

There are several more stories I'll save for another time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. Rooster was charging at me. I must have been around 12 maybe. Maybe elder. I was standing by the gate to my house and was completely paralysed.. when it was about 2 metres away I screamed at top of my lungs and it stopped running! . I regained power in my legs and got to safety

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also got pinched by geese and bitten by dogs. Horse was charging after me and rat ran between my legs.. I could go on. Childhood in the village

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

I wonder if being bitten on the arse by a goose is the origin of the term 'being goosed' referring to somebody pinching your arse?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A ferret sold me some bitcoin

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

I sat on a bee once and it stung me on the cheek poor bee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A ferret sold me some bitcoin "

And you fell ferret?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got my chips stolen by seagull

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!


"I sat on a bee once and it stung me on the cheek poor bee "

Worse ways to die x

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"I got my chips stolen by seagull "

I didn't know that seagulls were allowed into casinos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had chickens and walking across the yard every day terrified me. The bastard cockerel used to chase and attack me every time. Only me, no one else.

Traumatised me. He even survived a fox attack that killed all the hens, so my relief that he was dead was short lived.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I got caught by odd geese a couple of times. They're persistent but do warm to you eventually. They can be big and pretty strong

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Some fantastic stories on here! Apparently in the 1960s/70s near where I live now someone had a real pet lion that lived in the house. Imagine!

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

In the late 80's when it was fashionable for guys to have perms, my auntie permed my hair for me, afterwards i went out to play in her garden and a blackbird flew straight for my head, wings spread and feet at the ready for a landing, guess it though my hair was a nest! I've been scared of birds ever since

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was in my teens. I was sitting on a gate feeding a horse polo's. As you do.

Unfortunately the horse was more demanding than I could keep up with. Pesky polo wrappers! So he just kept nudging me backwards until I ran out of gate and fell off, getting impaled on a barbed wire fence.

J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good thread title Op

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

when i was about three i was in a feed of sheep petting the lambs and a sheep ran from the other side of the field butted me and somersaulted me over ive also been cornered by a group of kids all head butting me. My sister sat on a donkey and it ran off with her

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

when my partner first moved into his house he woke up one morning to a herd of cows in his garden and all trampled down. Just gets the odd sheep these days

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By *oachman 9CoolMan
over a year ago

derby

I remember once a earwig latching on to my finger as a kid, and a donkey once on the beach bolting with me in the saddle for so many yards.

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

wasps nest for me going to destroy its live nest got stung right in the middle of the forehead for it and it hurt

so oily cloth dug out blow lamp and that nest was fully detroyed its not the first nest ive destroyed either.

2nd a group of us walking in a middle of a field high wall one side we knew that as been at side of it once already

walked right in the middle of them before we realised what we had done, Then the group scattered when we met the big bull in the middle.

I went straight up the wall some followed me but was struggerling to climb it, others went around until it was lower and went over it.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I once walked across a field with cows in and I got terrified when they all started walking towards me. One even had a bit of pace and I had to leg it to the gate.

I view all cows with deep suspicion now.

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"In the late 80's when it was fashionable for guys to have perms, my auntie permed my hair for me, afterwards i went out to play in her garden and a blackbird flew straight for my head, wings spread and feet at the ready for a landing, guess it though my hair was a nest! I've been scared of birds ever since "

The perils of the perm

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