FabSwingers.com forum: Mental Health Check-In

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's good to talk, you most certainly aren't alone and people care about how you feel

So, how's everyone managing lately? If you need to air out anything or vent, the support is here for you to speak your mind

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

How lovely of you.

There are also qualified experts too if someone is in need of help.

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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago

so near and yet so far....

Managing here ty x

Just wish family members lived nearer to share the load of having both sets of parents needing help and support, just hard watching them all deteriorate......

youngest is 85..

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'm a little rocky today after a co-worker and so called friend made me think I was losing my mind big time last night.

It's all cleared up now and was a mistake on her part, but my "people = danger" alarm us ringing big time again and my confidence in being able to trust has taken another low blow at a time when it was already floored.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Cried 3 times at work yesterday. Not out of anything in particular just because people asked how I was.

Stood in my kitchen on Wednesday shouting out loud how boring life was. It's just a never ending conveyor belt of boredom.

I hate being on my own. I hate not having someone to share things with. I just can't be arsed with anything.

I am going to the Dr's next week after I've had a few days away.

This is not where I'd hoped my life would be. I fucking hate it.

And now I can't even get some dick to take my mind off it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve really struggled with something for quite some time, but I had an epiphany recently that’s motioned me into action to find a solution. So, I’m feeling quite positive today. Whether tomorrow will be the same, who knows. I can only control the right now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/08/20 14:48:06]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Managing here ty x

Just wish family members lived nearer to share the load of having both sets of parents needing help and support, just hard watching them all deteriorate......

youngest is 85.."

I hope there's other family around to help share the strain with you, and carers you're able to reply on. Lockdown has been so tough keeping family distant, I hope they're able to master the art of voicecalling / zoom at least! Hang in there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending love to all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm a little rocky today after a co-worker and so called friend made me think I was losing my mind big time last night.

Sorry to hear this. I'm the same I can wear my heart on my sleeve and when my faith in people's kindness is shaken it's all too easy to retreat and clam up and give in to misanthropy. There are decent people out there, most aren't the best at thinking about others but I hope you can keep the motivation to seek them out and surround yourself with the sort of people you want to be around

p.s. in my experience, work friends rarely turn out to be REAL friends

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

I'm F.I.N.E. , but I'm managing the best I can in my own f#ck#d up way.

The fab forums can be a wonderfully supportive place, Threads like this attract people who are struggling, people who are willing to help, and those who help even when they are struggling themselves.

I urge anybody who is having a hard time to speak up & accept the help that anybody offers, if things are bad then speak to your GP, Samaritans, Mind. Talk to your family & friends too. If you notice that somebody you know has had a change in behavior (withdrawn, low mood, irritable ect) then offer them some support & reassurance that they aren't alone, it doesn't take much to save a life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cried 3 times at work yesterday. Not out of anything in particular just because people asked how I was.

Stood in my kitchen on Wednesday shouting out loud how boring life was. It's just a never ending conveyor belt of boredom.

I hate being on my own. I hate not having someone to share things with. I just can't be arsed with anything.

I am going to the Dr's next week after I've had a few days away.

This is not where I'd hoped my life would be. I fucking hate it.

And now I can't even get some dick to take my mind off it. "

Sending out a virtual hug for your rough week x

With how connected we are in modern times I hope you're able to maintain links to people who I guarantee would leap at the chance to share things with you and inject some excitement into your days. Too often I let myself constantly assess the 'state' of where my life is at and get down because of it without stopping to count all things I should be thankful for. I hope you're able to shift the focus from what you don't have to what you could and do have x I can say for sure if you ever want to chat and take your mind off things I'd love to chill and have a laugh

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’ve really struggled with something for quite some time, but I had an epiphany recently that’s motioned me into action to find a solution. So, I’m feeling quite positive today. Whether tomorrow will be the same, who knows. I can only control the right now. "

That's really optimistic, hurray! Was it a personal epiphany or can you share?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Cried 3 times at work yesterday. Not out of anything in particular just because people asked how I was.

Stood in my kitchen on Wednesday shouting out loud how boring life was. It's just a never ending conveyor belt of boredom.

I hate being on my own. I hate not having someone to share things with. I just can't be arsed with anything.

I am going to the Dr's next week after I've had a few days away.

This is not where I'd hoped my life would be. I fucking hate it.

And now I can't even get some dick to take my mind off it.

Sending out a virtual hug for your rough week x

Thanks. I think it's a bit of burn out thanks to the old 'rona as well. Hopefully some time in Cornwall will do me good but as I say, also going to speak to the Dr.

Turning 40 in lockdown hasn't helped either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm one of those that goes to the doctor and my typical response is to answer that I'm fine. Some of the best advice I was given years ago by a nurse was to keep a diary and take it with me. Not sure if it will help others but it got me the help I needed x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

another quiet weekend here with little motivation to do anything

had weird dream last night (which rarely remember my dreams) that was told had a serious illness and my reaction was one of joy

tired of trying to make decisions and want that decision making taken out of my control, whiile trying not to impact anyone else

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

"Cried 3 times at work yesterday. Not out of anything in particular just because people asked how I was.

Stood in my kitchen on Wednesday shouting out loud how boring life was. It's just a never ending conveyor belt of boredom.

I hate being on my own. I hate not having someone to share things with. I just can't be arsed with anything.

I am going to the Dr's next week after I've had a few days away.

This is not where I'd hoped my life would be. I fucking hate it.

And now I can't even get some dick to take my mind off it. "

One of my biggest fears is somebody asking how i am, so i know how upsetting it can be.

You're not alone! I'm sure you have friends on here you can share things with and talk to, I know its not the same as having somebody in the same room to talk to and share things with, but its better than having nobody at all (trust me, i know)

Going to see your Dr. is a big first step, be honest with them about how you feel and accept any help they have to offer... please.

You're stronger than you think! Stay safe.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cried 3 times at work yesterday. Not out of anything in particular just because people asked how I was.

Stood in my kitchen on Wednesday shouting out loud how boring life was. It's just a never ending conveyor belt of boredom.

I hate being on my own. I hate not having someone to share things with. I just can't be arsed with anything.

I am going to the Dr's next week after I've had a few days away.

This is not where I'd hoped my life would be. I fucking hate it.

And now I can't even get some dick to take my mind off it.

Sending out a virtual hug for your rough week x

Thanks. I think it's a bit of burn out thanks to the old 'rona as well. Hopefully some time in Cornwall will do me good but as I say, also going to speak to the Dr.

Turning 40 in lockdown hasn't helped either

What's in a number...a milf by any other age would still be as scorching as you

haha

Lockdown itself has definitely acted like a mental and physical cage...cornwall sounds lovely, nature really is the cure to urban stresses

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm one of those that goes to the doctor and my typical response is to answer that I'm fine. Some of the best advice I was given years ago by a nurse was to keep a diary and take it with me. Not sure if it will help others but it got me the help I needed x"

This is really solid advice! My therapist advised the same and to rate my feelings through the day the good and the bad. It's great for being able to hone in on what things made you feel better or worse. Then moving on from there you can start to see ahead to avoid those things and steer your day towards the parts that made you feel better

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

"I'm a little rocky today after a co-worker and so called friend made me think I was losing my mind big time last night.

You're a little bundle of awesomeness! farts 'n all, don't ever forget that!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Cried 3 times at work yesterday. Not out of anything in particular just because people asked how I was.

Stood in my kitchen on Wednesday shouting out loud how boring life was. It's just a never ending conveyor belt of boredom.

I hate being on my own. I hate not having someone to share things with. I just can't be arsed with anything.

I am going to the Dr's next week after I've had a few days away.

This is not where I'd hoped my life would be. I fucking hate it.

And now I can't even get some dick to take my mind off it.

Sending out a virtual hug for your rough week x

Thanks. I think it's a bit of burn out thanks to the old 'rona as well. Hopefully some time in Cornwall will do me good but as I say, also going to speak to the Dr.

Turning 40 in lockdown hasn't helped either

What's in a number...a milf by any other age would still be as scorching as you

haha

Lockdown itself has definitely acted like a mental and physical cage...cornwall sounds lovely, nature really is the cure to urban stresses"

I'm not even a 40 year old milf lol no babies, no man, no wedding, no one wants me. (you're gonna be sorry you started this thread soon lol).

I see so many of my friends get together with people time after time. People I know have been married 3 times or more but I can't find one guy who thinks I'm special.

I know relationships aren't all that matters in life but I do wonder what the fuck is wrong with me sometimes.

Think I'll step way from the keyboard in a bit, let someone else have a turn lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a good tip. May also help to look back at dark days and see that today may be dark but it's brighter than the really dark days.

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By *9alMan
over a year ago

Bridgend

40 is a difficult time in life I went though a rocky but at 40 , felt a bit of a failure but as you get past it you stop worrying about things you cant change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cried 3 times at work yesterday. Not out of anything in particular just because people asked how I was.

Stood in my kitchen on Wednesday shouting out loud how boring life was. It's just a never ending conveyor belt of boredom.

I hate being on my own. I hate not having someone to share things with. I just can't be arsed with anything.

I am going to the Dr's next week after I've had a few days away.

This is not where I'd hoped my life would be. I fucking hate it.

And now I can't even get some dick to take my mind off it.

Sending out a virtual hug for your rough week x

Thanks. I think it's a bit of burn out thanks to the old 'rona as well. Hopefully some time in Cornwall will do me good but as I say, also going to speak to the Dr.

Turning 40 in lockdown hasn't helped either

What's in a number...a milf by any other age would still be as scorching as you

haha

Lockdown itself has definitely acted like a mental and physical cage...cornwall sounds lovely, nature really is the cure to urban stresses"

Lockdown wasn’t a physical or mental cage to me at all. I thought it was bloody brilliant personally.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not even a 40 year old milf lol no babies, no man, no wedding, no one wants me. (you're gonna be sorry you started this thread soon lol).

I see so many of my friends get together with people time after time. People I know have been married 3 times or more but I can't find one guy who thinks I'm special.

I know relationships aren't all that matters in life but I do wonder what the fuck is wrong with me sometimes.

Think I'll step way from the keyboard in a bit, let someone else have a turn lol. "

Hey talk as much or as little as you want there's no judgement here! Oh I respectfully disagree on the not being a milf part

less the direct acronym & more the meaning behind it

Is that what you want or what you think is *expected* of you? Don't let norms and arbitrary standards get in the way of your own persuit of happiness

If they happen to align with yours then great, you'll find someone that measures up to YOU and not you measuring up to anything else

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lockdown wasn’t a physical or mental cage to me at all. I thought it was bloody brilliant personally."

Personally, agreed. It was some much needed headspace and break from the commute, office, repeat, life draining grind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lockdown wasn’t a physical or mental cage to me at all. I thought it was bloody brilliant personally.

Personally, agreed. It was some much needed headspace and break from the commute, office, repeat, life draining grind."

Oh, I still went into the office every day but it was lovely having empty buses, clear roads and the town centre being quiet and peaceful.

I miss how life was during the lockdown

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not waving, but drowning

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Staying in voluntary lockdown, while i can work from home. Tbh probably becoming phobic about people.

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By *asy_tiger68Man
over a year ago

West Mids

Motivation, Posivity and a Sheer desire not to give in to fear has been what's kept me going. On a good day all three. Its when it a zero I feel step back and get at least one back. It was the second week of July an epithany. A school friend died and it really hurt that is when I thought if there's anything you want to do it now! Life's too short! I'm sorry to hear the heartache out there. Talking does help and that's coming from a Single guy who doesn't like to post. Don't be afraid to reach out and no shame in admitting not coping. In fact it's a strength x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a good tip. May also help to look back at dark days and see that today may be dark but it's brighter than the really dark days. "

That's sound like a great idea. Think I might start doing this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been wavering on the edge for a while since I had a health scare. So I decided to make an effort get out there and change things in my life. The things i tried to change haven’t really worked and I feel let down and rejected. Everything is now riding on a interview I had last week to change my career path, if that goes wrong I fear I won’t be able to handle the blow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve been wavering on the edge for a while since I had a health scare. So I decided to make an effort get out there and change things in my life. The things i tried to change haven’t really worked and I feel let down and rejected. Everything is now riding on a interview I had last week to change my career path, if that goes wrong I fear I won’t be able to handle the blow. "

You made it through the other things that didn't work as well as you hoped. That means you are strong. Maybe they just need tweaking. Brighter things to come.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a bit of a week of it. Got the news my moms got cancer on Monday, I can deal with that and all it entails, even my siblings who will have more to put me down for. But I’ve 2 children with disabilities who have struggled with the news and have been distraught, angry, questioning and a whole lot more. Trying to cope with them is draining me. I was planning a day out but my youngest has invited himself along too. I need some headspace, just to be myself and not mom, sister, daughter, carer x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life can go fuck itself at the minute

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Doing ok and working hard. Was so much looking forward to my holiday in Sept but it got cancelled yesterday which was a blow.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Ive just started to surface from 6 months of living hell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive just started to surface from 6 months of living hell"

Glad to hear you're coming out the other side

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

I'm on a rollercoaster. Split with hubby & he bought me out & kept the family home. Our 18 yr old son has stayed at the house he grew up in..unsurprisingly (he does have a bedroom at my new place). I see him a couple of times a week (he's busy) but I don't feel like a Mum any more..it's breaking my heart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm on a rollercoaster. Split with hubby & he bought me out & kept the family home. Our 18 yr old son has stayed at the house he grew up in..unsurprisingly (he does have a bedroom at my new place). I see him a couple of times a week (he's busy) but I don't feel like a Mum any more..it's breaking my heart

Massive heartfelt virtual hugs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was doing fine until I opened a bag of salt and vinegar discos to discover there is only about 15 crisps in the pack now I'm just sat here crying.

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

Massive heartfelt virtual hugs.

Thank you so much xxx

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By *r.PringleMan
over a year ago

Bradford

A MASSIVE HUG,from a son who lost him mum (and dad) 34 years ago and misses them every day. It's a shame your son doesn't make more time for you.

Sending you lots of love and hugs

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

A MASSIVE HUG,from a son who lost him mum (and dad) 34 years ago and misses them every day. It's a shame your son doesn't make more time for you.

Sending you lots of love and hugs "

Thank you xx

I should be glad that I raised a son who is balanced, independent & knows he doesn't have to worry about me, but it's tough

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

A MASSIVE HUG,from a son who lost him mum (and dad) 34 years ago and misses them every day. It's a shame your son doesn't make more time for you.

Sending you lots of love and hugs "

I meant to also say that I'm sorry for your loss xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep mines still shit haha.

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By *ice__blokeMan
over a year ago

redcar

It's so good that people on here care, just a few thoughtful words can help lift some ones spirits

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Big hugs to everyone

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Struggling today

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By *ice__blokeMan
over a year ago

redcar

Hutz - or man whats up ?

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Hutz - or man whats up ?

Just struggling mate.

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By *ice__blokeMan
over a year ago

redcar

Your not alone fella, anyone can be going through tough times

I saw a memorial plaque today on a tree - armed forces - was newly put up - made me feel very sad.

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By *ice__blokeMan
over a year ago

redcar

Was painted with small red poppies - just said " we will all see you on the other side "

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Your not alone fella, anyone can be going through tough times

I saw a memorial plaque today on a tree - armed forces - was newly put up - made me feel very sad. "

Ta mate

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Bit sad to see the summer end. But making plans for winter sun as a little pick me up mid seasons.

Had a good weekend seeing friends so feel recharged.

to all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your favourite Music should be something that should never be underestimated in your mental health state ..in my opinion it's HUGE ... anytime l feel like a few quite moments to myself or a bit of space ,my favourite music is always there too...l think it's imperative...it's such a brilliant pick me up feel good factor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big hug to you lady ...HUGE BIG HUG !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a broken heart. Shattered spirit and lost hopes. The irony is the one person who causes it is also the one person who could make it better

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

"I have a broken heart. Shattered spirit and lost hopes. The irony is the one person who causes it is also the one person who could make it better "

I’ve been there mate. It took me ages to get back to a good place.

It does get better at your own pace though.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I have a broken heart. Shattered spirit and lost hopes. The irony is the one person who causes it is also the one person who could make it better "

Big hugs

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

Big hug to you lady ...HUGE BIG HUG !!!"

Thank you so much xxx

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By *.L.0460.Woman
over a year ago

Bognor Regis

"I have a broken heart. Shattered spirit and lost hopes. The irony is the one person who causes it is also the one person who could make it better "

I'm so sorry lovely. It seems awful now, but trust me, you'll find your strength & you WILL see a way through the hurt. Be kind to yourself & it'll get better xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK let's go for it.

I'm a wreck, I've pretty much failed in everything I've ever tried to do.

Even so, I stupidly tried to start my own business believing that I could overcome any shortfalls by working bloody hard and that I'd if worked if would improve my life and give me a confidence boost.

A year on I'm shot to pieces, worn out, confidence through the floor and I'm a bit of a walking shambles.

I'm now in debt, I've wasted a small inheritance that I got and it would have been easier to take the pound notes into the garden and set fire to them.

I continue on fabs even though everything about it screams at me that I'm wasting my time.

You did ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OK let's go for it.

I'm a wreck, I've pretty much failed in everything I've ever tried to do.

A year on I'm shot to pieces, worn out, confidence through the floor and I'm a bit of a walking shambles.

I'm now in debt, I've wasted a small inheritance that I got and it would have been easier to take the pound notes into the garden and set fire to them.

I continue on fabs even though everything about it screams at me that I'm wasting my time.

You did ask. "

I could never do my own business, I'd be shit at it. You tried and that's amazing. It sounds like you gave it your everything and that's all anyone can do.

Fab is different. Pretty much all men struggle on here, it's the nature of the site unfortunately. Especially at the moment.

Hope you have a good day. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got over some sickness and feeling physically better, things are going good at work and things are good at home. I should be thankful and happy for what I have but these days my smiles dont last long anymore. If I ever accidentally show signs of not feeling myself I deflect with humour and put a positive spin on everything for not wanting to bring people down and not wanting to worry anyone, but every day is filled with self reflection. Out of that comes self doubt, and great plans to change and develop mentally are thought up but never followed through on because the self doubt creeps in and shoots them down. At the end of the day I say to myself "that's life, people have actual problems, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Tomorrow is another day" and that snaps me out of it till tomorrow

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

Tired. Anxious. Sleepless.

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By *ice__blokeMan
over a year ago

redcar

Positive supporting words - applied to anyone needing a virtual hug and to be listened to. x

Try to think of the moment this very moment - just breath in feel all that fkn awfull tensions and shit thoughts....

Hold your breath for 3 seconds- then slowly deflate let out that bad air expel it counting to 6 seconds......

Now breath in some good slow air for 6 seconds..... hold for 3 seconds...

slowly blow out the bad air and thoughts... counting for 6 seconds..expel it

Now breath in nice clean fresh air for 6 ....... hold it... 1, 2 , 3 and nice calmly breath out for 6 saying " arhhhhhh "

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By *ice__blokeMan
over a year ago

redcar

Anyone need to say how they are feeling today ?

Me anxious 4

1 being fine 5 being not good.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

"Anyone need to say how they are feeling today ?

Me anxious 4

1 being fine 5 being not good.

Try the 3 minute breathing space.

http://franticworld.com/free-meditations-from-mindfulness/

Lay off the caffeine

Try to understand whether you can affect the things you are worried about. Try to push away the things you can’t do anything about.

Make a decision when you’re going to worry about things - not now - some time when it’s more convenient. You might find you forget to worry about them then.

Things you can do something about - make an action plan. Break them up into small achievable steps. Reward yourself for each step you take.

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By *ice__blokeMan
over a year ago

redcar

Thanks for that _otsossie

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

"Thanks for that _otsossie

You can’t run a marathon, mate.

But you can run a mile.

Then another mile.

And - why were you running anyway?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really couldn't give a fuck. Men treating me like crap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is so lovely OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is so lovely OP

People shouldn't ever feel like no one cares about them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is so lovely OP

People shouldn't ever feel like no one cares about them x"

Sometimes it's true.

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By *uge G RectionMan
over a year ago

where I like to be... down south

My mental health is like nothing ive ever had to try and deal with today.... im so low that even an ants public hair growing off his balls dragging along the floor is higher than I feel atm

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This is so lovely OP

People shouldn't ever feel like no one cares about them x

Sometimes it's true."

Well, I care so it can't be. Checkmaten

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really couldn't give a fuck. Men treating me like crap."

I feel like no one cares

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all just a bit shit at the moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fine ta.

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