FabSwingers.com forum: Oh just Nooooooo!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just read that this is the time of year for spiders to come in your house to mate!

Apparently some of them are hand sized

7.30pm is the time the bastards come in apparently!

Just piss off - I think I would actually die if a hand sized spider was in my house

What would you do?

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

Ohh yeah I saw one staring at me last night when I was doing a pee

it was huge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just read that this is the time of year for spiders to come in your house to mate!

Apparently some of them are hand sized

7.30pm is the time the bastards come in apparently!

Just piss off - I think I would actually die if a hand sized spider was in my house

What would you do?

Catch and release.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feed it flies and nurture it.

Train it to be a juggling circus spider and then be it’s manager.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Put a cup over it, slide some card underneath it and set it free outside.

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

At least someone will be have sex in my house tonight then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scoop them up and pop them outside.

Love spiders! Wouldn't wanna risk one of my housemates stepping on them.

I'd have to do the same if I was at J's too, he's a bit scared of em but won't kill anything so I'd have to swoop in and save him

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

catch and release if the dog doesn't splat them first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ohh yeah I saw one staring at me last night when I was doing a pee

it was huge

Timing is everything.

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

"Ohh yeah I saw one staring at me last night when I was doing a pee

it was huge

Spider or the pee

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Put a cup over it, slide some card underneath it and set it free outside. "

This

although I live on the second floor so I hope they survive the drop

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"Ohh yeah I saw one staring at me last night when I was doing a pee

it was huge

Spider or the pee

I knew someone was going to ask that

the spider ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ohh yeah I saw one staring at me last night when I was doing a pee

it was huge

Spider or the pee

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I just leave them be .

I have a housemate called Simon whisper been eating the nasty bugs for 6 months now.

House Spiders are your totally free exterminator, cherish them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"At least someone will be have sex in my house tonight then!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awwwwwwwww I love spiders!!

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

"Ohh yeah I saw one staring at me last night when I was doing a pee

it was huge

Spider or the pee

I knew someone was going to ask that

the spider ffs

Yep and I'm glad you chuckled too

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I just read that this is the time of year for spiders to come in your house to mate!

Apparently some of them are hand sized

7.30pm is the time the bastards come in apparently!

Just piss off - I think I would actually die if a hand sized spider was in my house

What would you do?

I’m sorry but I zap them with my bat

imagine swallowing one of them

thing makes a noise as it goes across the floor

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Feed it flies and nurture it.

Train it to be a juggling circus spider and then be it’s manager."

No Sam you'd just end up as it's bitch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

September/October is mating time for them

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By *hat BlokeMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

Sit and watch telly with it... and offer it some crisps and a drink.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't mind them and quite like them in the house. I think it gives the house a homely feel. Mr N isn't so keen on then inside but tolerated them when we had moth in the carpet because they caught them in their web.

Then last year I was friendly with a nice spider living by the kitchen door until our son in law pointed out it was a false widow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Feed it flies and nurture it.

Train it to be a juggling circus spider and then be it’s manager.

No Sam you'd just end up as it's bitch

Think of the shoes I could buy it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate them so much. I just stand there and scream like a total twat...

A tip on the radio yesterday, leave your used peppermint teabags around the house and they stay away.

There was one so big in the dining room yesterday id imagine it would run off with the fecking teabag.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I’m sorry but I zap them with my bat

imagine swallowing one of them

thing makes a noise as it goes across the floor

Omg shut up!

I'm never sleeping again

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

"I just read that this is the time of year for spiders to come in your house to mate!

Apparently some of them are hand sized

7.30pm is the time the bastards come in apparently!

Just piss off - I think I would actually die if a hand sized spider was in my house

What would you do?

I’m sorry but I zap them with my bat

imagine swallowing one of them

thing makes a noise as it goes across the floor

Get it some slippers then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just read that this is the time of year for spiders to come in your house to mate!

Apparently some of them are hand sized

7.30pm is the time the bastards come in apparently!

Just piss off - I think I would actually die if a hand sized spider was in my house

What would you do?

Offer it tea or coffee

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Diamonds are not a girls best friend.. A Dyson is.

No more spiders

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just leave them be .

I have a housemate called Simon whisper been eating the nasty bugs for 6 months now.

House Spiders are your totally free exterminator, cherish them

No they can fuck off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just call them all George.. they dont seam so scary then lol

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I just leave them be .

I have a housemate called Simon whisper been eating the nasty bugs for 6 months now.

House Spiders are your totally free exterminator, cherish them

No they can fuck off!

Say what you mean now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've already had a few scurrying across the carpet in the evenings. Sometimes the dogs get them

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"Diamonds are not a girls best friend.. A Dyson is.

No more spiders "

I did that once and it climbed out again

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By *ark ph0enixWoman
over a year ago

Teesside

We name ours. I do believe the current count of regulars is about half a dozen

I'd much rather have them than those horrid crane flies

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By *tephanjMan
over a year ago

Kettering

I hate it when they crawl across my face at night when I'm trying to sleep....ended up with a black eye once trying to knock it off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

don't mind the spiders, its the 15 wasps that have come in this morning that get on my tits.

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By *oxyVikingCouple
over a year ago

East Anglia

Spiders are ok.....it’s flies I hate. Seems to be loads this year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was hand sized, I'd scream like a little girl, go pack my overnight bag and go stop at a B&B, hopefully by that time it'll be gone

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

"I just read that this is the time of year for spiders to come in your house to mate!

Apparently some of them are hand sized

7.30pm is the time the bastards come in apparently!

Just piss off - I think I would actually die if a hand sized spider was in my house

What would you do?

As much as you hate to think about it, you've already eaten a few in your sleep... We all have... Apparently

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

put it out side unharmed

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Block it's fab account

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

Just to be clear I’m talking about the huge spiders that have an average leg span of 8cm

not the normal house spider they don’t bother me I give them names

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By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk

I don't like spiders to at the best of times they freak me out had one of the huge ones in our bathroom the other night had to get my husband to evict it, it wasn't paying rent and needed its own room, but my husband being the reaction seeker he is pretended to throw the damn thing at me

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By *moothshaftMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Thing is, is purely their appearance.

There's not one spider in this land that will kill you. One or two can give you a little nip if threatened, but the rest are harmless.

And they eat all manner of creepy crawlies in your home.

Don't hurt them.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

depends which ones they are.

The ones with the almost thread like legs and a pin-head body can stay. You know the ones that are big but there's fuck all to them. They tend to sit in the same corner of the ceiling for weeks on end and then one day it's swapped corners.

The hairy leg chunky cunts tho... whole different ball game. They're quick, they're savage and they hide in places to make you jump, like in your dirty knickers in the washing basket and when you pick them up, there he is like a fucking jack-in-the-box shouting "BOO"

They're the floor scurriers, the jumper outers. If they came with a little cat bell round their necks we could live in harmony, but they don't, so NO NO NO, they are not welcome.

I'm the only hairy-legged chunky cunt allowed in this house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like spiders to at the best of times they freak me out had one of the huge ones in our bathroom the other night had to get my husband to evict it, it wasn't paying rent and needed its own room, but my husband being the reaction seeker he is pretended to throw the damn thing at me "

Id of twatted him after I'd stoped screaming and crying xx

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By *rsPricklePantsWoman
over a year ago

Room 237 at The Overlook Hotel, Suffolk

Id of twatted him after I'd stoped screaming and crying xx"

If I wasn't on the loo at the time I would totally have wet myself.

He wasn't happy that I wouldn't let him let him near me when we went to bed.

He's still claims that he was just showing me what he was going to catch it with

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

I just leave them be. They do good by catching house pests.

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By *hat BlokeMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

"I just call them all George.. they dont seam so scary then lol"

Mine are all called Dave lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cats and Dyson are excellent soider killers!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’ve had about 20 of them so far. Easily the size of a small hand yep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My cats and Dyson are excellent soider killers!!"

Are they soider drinkers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id of twatted him after I'd stoped screaming and crying xx

If I wasn't on the loo at the time I would totally have wet myself.

He wasn't happy that I wouldn't let him let him near me when we went to bed.

He's still claims that he was just showing me what he was going to catch it with "

Serves him right naughty man

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

I cant see what all the fuss is about over a little spider

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cat sometimes deals with them.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"depends which ones they are.

They're the floor scurriers, the jumper outers. If they came with a little cat bell round their necks we could live in harmony, but they don't, so NO NO NO, they are not welcome.

I'm the only hairy-legged chunky cunt allowed in this house."

you have such a way with words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand why people have a fear of them, and I did too as a youngun, however I learnt about all the good they can do. That said if I do see one no matter how big I will put them outside, pick em up and let them go. Cockroaches though........my gawd no way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never used to like spiders until I was in Australia and found a red back in my work boot.. Since then I welcome any UK spider In to the house

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

I have a bullmastiff that doesn’t tolerate spiders. She stomps them into mush.

I’m surrounded by fields so when they get harvested and it gets colder they all seem to head to mine.

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By *siancouplehantsCouple
over a year ago

K-PAX

"I just read that this is the time of year for spiders to come in your house to mate!

Apparently some of them are hand sized

7.30pm is the time the bastards come in apparently!

Just piss off - I think I would actually die if a hand sized spider was in my house

What would you do?

I would leave the house if my wife does not kill it and show me its dead

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By *hat BlokeMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

"depends which ones they are.

They're the floor scurriers, the jumper outers. If they came with a little cat bell round their necks we could live in harmony, but they don't, so NO NO NO, they are not welcome.

I'm the only hairy-legged chunky cunt allowed in this house."

PMSL! If there was one reason and one reason alone to read the forums....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I took one off my bedroom wall last night that was pretty big, he was right above my headboard. I placed him in a bottle, took that bottle outside and then spun it 3 times before I let him out. Hopefully he wont remember his way back! True story

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I hate it when they crawl across my face at night when I'm trying to sleep....ended up with a black eye once trying to knock it off"

Shut up

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"depends which ones they are.

They're the floor scurriers, the jumper outers. If they came with a little cat bell round their necks we could live in harmony, but they don't, so NO NO NO, they are not welcome.

I'm the only hairy-legged chunky cunt allowed in this house."

exactly!

The chunky cunts aren't welcome

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I like spiders. My house is old and the big ones always appear at this time of year. I would never harm one but they have been well warned to stay out of my bed.

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By *k11976Man
over a year ago

exeter

Apparently if you put conkers near the door or windows it keeps them out ! Something about the smell they give off

They dont play with them lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love spiders! Have had a few Tarantulas in my time.

Just scoop them up and put them out of the way. They keep the midges/flys down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Urgh

I had a massive one crawl across the carpet in the dark the other night. My skin was crawling for days and I kept imagining it crawling up the side of my bed.

I have to woman up around the kids, but actually my daughter is better at catching and releasing them than me

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

My lovely pussy Cuthbert chows down on them. Otherwise, I catch & release them outside.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those of you that kill spiders, imagine if that spider actually cared for you and thought you were her housemate?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I took one off my bedroom wall last night that was pretty big, he was right above my headboard. I placed him in a bottle, took that bottle outside and then spun it 3 times before I let him out. Hopefully he wont remember his way back! True story

Lmfao

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By *elly72Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

Catch it put in the toilet and flush then it won’t come back that’s what I do anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There was a huge one in my bathroom last week I just screamed until someone got rid. Apparently it had fangs

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

We leave them.

Hate flies, wasps etc, and having spuders around removes them. Their harmless, kill horribke insects, win for all.

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By *amish SMan
over a year ago

Eastleigh

Don't worry about the big ones, it's the false widows that are not welcome. Seems to be a lot of them this year. Also seeing more green fangs as well, but they stay in their holes around the walls outside and not bother anyone.

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

Hand sized? Not my based on my hands I hope. That’s too big for a pint glass capture. Best buy a bucket.

We all gotta mate. I wouldn’t hold being a big bastard against them.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"I just call them all George.. they dont seam so scary then lol"

All my house spiders are called Henry, but ma last Border Collie was called Spider

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If anyone wants help with spiders, I’m your girl! I love spiders

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

I'm a spider assassin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never kill a spider, just catch it and chuck it outside

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spiders dont scare me so if you need someone I can remove them for you

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

That would be grounds for divorce

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

As uninvited guests I leave them to the cats

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