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Freaky Friday!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've just read the funniest male profile, written entirely from the perspective of a stereotypical Fab woman

On this thread you have to chat only in the style of the opposite sex. Stereotypes and cliches welcome, just keep it lighthearted!

So boys, show's your cocks and a smile wouldn't kill you, might never happen...

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Lana - get ya tits out love

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Stimulate my mind and I'll show you my tits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where are all the sexy 6'8"+ studs with 20" cocks at, I want to get dped

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

hi bbe, wuu2

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No vag pics!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where are all the sexy 6'8"+ studs with 20" cocks at, I want to get dped "

Also please have some chest hair but no back hair, cock clean shaven, I don't need to floss. Must have big strong arms, handsome face and blue eyes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"hi bbe, wuu2"

Ok so bbe I'm guessing is baby what does wuu2 mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Treat me with respect or you ain’t gonna get any of this candy

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Where are all the sexy 6'8"+ studs with 20" cocks at, I want to get dped

Also please have some chest hair but no back hair, cock clean shaven, I don't need to floss. Must have big strong arms, handsome face and blue eyes!"

Are you describing yourself, Morningstar

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've sent 500 vag pics today and not a whiff of cock! Where am I going wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Faf

Want to know more, message me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OMG soooo many messages didn’t think my cock would be that popular, please give me time to go through them all xx..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where are all the sexy 6'8"+ studs with 20" cocks at, I want to get dped

Also please have some chest hair but no back hair, cock clean shaven, I don't need to floss. Must have big strong arms, handsome face and blue eyes!

Are you describing yourself, Morningstar "

I have back hair, my cock is a rain forest jungle, my eyes are brown and my arms are tiny

Also 2" not 20" cock!

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By *uyfrombristolMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Fill in later.

Actually in hindsight, that night be too much.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Bored and looking to chat, hit me up

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Where are all the sexy 6'8"+ studs with 20" cocks at, I want to get dped

Also please have some chest hair but no back hair, cock clean shaven, I don't need to floss. Must have big strong arms, handsome face and blue eyes!

Are you describing yourself, Morningstar

I have back hair, my cock is a rain forest jungle, my eyes are brown and my arms are tiny

Also 2" not 20" cock!"

*DELETE*

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By *uyfrombristolMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Might. This place really needs an edit function.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"hi bbe, wuu2

Ok so bbe I'm guessing is baby what does wuu2 mean?"

I'm in no way savvy on txt spk (that's text speak) as I have an absolute desdain for it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"hi bbe, wuu2

Ok so bbe I'm guessing is baby what does wuu2 mean?"

Means 'What you up to?' doll. Stick with me, I'll show you the ways of fab away from all these other weirdos. I'm the last good girl on here

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"hi bbe, wuu2

Ok so bbe I'm guessing is baby what does wuu2 mean?

I'm in no way savvy on txt spk (that's text speak) as I have an absolute desdain for it.

"

For real? It means "what you up to?"

PS love how that underwear looks on you, only place it would look better is on my bedroom floor

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

Sorry I bulk deleted all my messages, I'm just too popular.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Yeah I'm dead kinky. And dominant. Well. I always do the hoovering when Marge tells me, but I damn well do it my way. Because I'm a Dom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

400 messages today, can't be bothered reading them, mass delete.

Why don't I get any super exciting messages!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Hi "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fucking time waster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi "

I'm sensing a ban coming in 3...2...1

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Hi "

I'm howling

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

OK so just what side am I supposed to be on

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi "

You're quite funny darlin...for a bird.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wanna chat?

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Fill in later

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"OK so just what side am I supposed to be on "

Take your pick, who's funnier to wind up ?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Fucking time waster "

You're a fat, ugly moo anyway

(it's just method acting, I'm so sorry Jamie )

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

you make my boyfriend look like shit. Let's get nasty

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fucking time waster

You're a fat, ugly moo anyway

(it's just method acting, I'm so sorry Jamie ) "

Oi you! Stay in character!

Or I'll be forced to put you over my knee and spank you...bet that made you wet.

(I'm sorry too haha!)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Fucking time waster

You're a fat, ugly moo anyway

(it's just method acting, I'm so sorry Jamie )

Oi you! Stay in character!

Or I'll be forced to put you over my knee and spank you...bet that made you wet.

(I'm sorry too haha!) "

Will you come and fuck my girlfriend? Right now. It'll be a lovely surprise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't wanna see you dock let alone one the size of a hedgehogs nose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey babe, let's go shopping it will be fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey babe, let's go shopping it will be fun "

OUCH!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Hey babe, let's go shopping it will be fun "

Only if I can get them to gift wrap you bbe

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hey babe, let's go shopping it will be fun

OUCH! "

Bend over and I'll show you ouch. I've seen 50 shades twice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey babe, let's go shopping it will be fun

Only if I can get them to gift wrap you bbe "

Sure we can like go to this shop, then 20 more and then back to the 1st one. Oh my feet are killing..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d love you spoil you

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Hey babe, let's go shopping it will be fun

Only if I can get them to gift wrap you bbe

Sure we can like go to this shop, then 20 more and then back to the 1st one. Oh my feet are killing.. "

I'll carry you, don't worry. I'm a gentlewoman after all.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

U on the pill hun?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I am a trained massage therapist specialising in *insert any type of massage probably nuru* can I tempt you

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

U into BWF.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey babe, let's go shopping it will be fun

Only if I can get them to gift wrap you bbe

Sure we can like go to this shop, then 20 more and then back to the 1st one. Oh my feet are killing..

I'll carry you, don't worry. I'm a gentlewoman after all."

As long as you give me a straight opinion about these two outfits, that I am not going to wear either x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hundred quid to suck my clit. Genuine offer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I ask you a question

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Hey babe, let's go shopping it will be fun

Only if I can get them to gift wrap you bbe

Sure we can like go to this shop, then 20 more and then back to the 1st one. Oh my feet are killing..

I'll carry you, don't worry. I'm a gentlewoman after all.

As long as you give me a straight opinion about these two outfits, that I am not going to wear either x"

Anything you want bby

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

X

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Hundred quid to suck my clit. Genuine offer. "

Sorry, I snortled

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey babe what u looking for?

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Show me a dick pic plz. I'll pay you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hundred quid to suck my clit. Genuine offer.

Sorry, I snortled "

Actually half hated myself for that, half found it frickin hilarious !

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

genuine woman looking for fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi babe I’m free and can accommodate you interested

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Genuine 10" here and thick - do you think you can take it?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

07635783XXX What'sApp me baby

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

u look amazing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what u wearing hun.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

hey

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I'm a professional footballer (for the Dog & Duck AFC )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

whats a woman like you doing on here, surely you can get a man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

H R U babe

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Hi sexy

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I'll give you what your husband can't, baby

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

You need to worship my cunt

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Wow fucking bitch. I didn't want to fuck you anyway. P.s. You're fat too.

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Willing to let you fuk me bareback. Meet now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wanna fuck?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey babe, let's go shopping it will be fun

Only if I can get them to gift wrap you bbe

Sure we can like go to this shop, then 20 more and then back to the 1st one. Oh my feet are killing..

I'll carry you, don't worry. I'm a gentlewoman after all.

As long as you give me a straight opinion about these two outfits, that I am not going to wear either x

Anything you want bby "

OMG do you want to meet my parents? They will love you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

meet now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you be interested in meeting and letting me suck your dick. Wouldn’t expect anything in return

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi

Hi

Hi

How's u?

Hi

Fucking fat cow

Don't be so shy bbe

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Hey babe, let's go shopping it will be fun

Only if I can get them to gift wrap you bbe

Sure we can like go to this shop, then 20 more and then back to the 1st one. Oh my feet are killing..

I'll carry you, don't worry. I'm a gentlewoman after all.

As long as you give me a straight opinion about these two outfits, that I am not going to wear either x

Anything you want bby

OMG do you want to meet my parents? They will love you x"

*ponders... Will it get me laid if I say yes? Hmmmmmm*

Yeah course bby, right after we fuck.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ot-AshMan
over a year ago

London

Stop looking at my profile you stalker.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will be the best you ever had.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Hey stranger, remember me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Stop looking at my profile you stalker."

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Vwe genuine bull. I'll cuck your hubby into next fucking week

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey babe, let's go shopping it will be fun

Only if I can get them to gift wrap you bbe

Sure we can like go to this shop, then 20 more and then back to the 1st one. Oh my feet are killing..

I'll carry you, don't worry. I'm a gentlewoman after all.

As long as you give me a straight opinion about these two outfits, that I am not going to wear either x

Anything you want bby

OMG do you want to meet my parents? They will love you x

*ponders... Will it get me laid if I say yes? Hmmmmmm*

Yeah course bby, right after we fuck. "

Good with me, oh haven't you got a big cock? Our sex life will never ever change x

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

love your pics xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you handle my 10in babe.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Arranging my friend's stag do next month in Liverpool. 20 blokes. Fancy blowing us all?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Cracking arse on the wife mate

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By *ot-AshMan
over a year ago

London

I'm fed up being sent soo many boob pics.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What size is that doll?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Fucking frigid up your arse pricks

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I have hand restraints and a ball cock ( )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wont regret it, I promise.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

It's my birthday, who wants to give me a present I’ll never forget?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Why you in a wheelchair? Can you fuck normal, like?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fucking frigid up your arse pricks "

Mate, never mind those pricks, come to my incel meeting and you'll be swimming in cock. Neck deep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re up late

Go to bed missy

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'll settle for a sympathy fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh you're just all talk and no trousers!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Did you hear about the penguin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why you in a wheelchair? Can you fuck normal, like? "

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Only want DD cups or larger. Yea I'm a size king.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Y no reply bitch?

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

What you after?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Why you in a wheelchair? Can you fuck normal, like?

"

True story

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll make you cum like you've never cum before

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

I’m up your way soon on business...

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

How hard is your cock right now? I bet it tastes sooooooo good

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

u free?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I'll have you gushing everywhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

U a squirter

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I don't have any pics but I can assure you I'm handsome, blue eyed and hung so whatever you just imagined, that's what I look like and you should totally reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm single...... well I've just started seeing someone but its not that serious

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I know you say you don't meet married people, but my husband doesn't give me what I need.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Some of them would earn me a forum ban

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I feel a bit bad hardly any guys are commenting haha! Roast us! We're fair game too, and I say in my standard womanly form

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

u game?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I feel a bit bad hardly any guys are commenting haha! Roast us! We're fair game too, and I say in my standard womanly form "

Is there a reason for that though?!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I wanna pin you down and make you ch*oke on my strap-on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is like therapy - Well done OP x "that's just a statement not in line with game".

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Me and my mate are bored and wanking. I coming round?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

ur stunning, wanna meet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wanna pin you down and make you ch*oke on my strap-on "

You're just throwing you own thoughts in now, never have I heard a man say that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

U squirt babe?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I wanna pin you down and make you ch*oke on my strap-on

You're just throwing you own thoughts in now, never have I heard a man say that "

Well I personally don't have a penis so I had to improvise

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I feel a bit bad hardly any guys are commenting haha! Roast us! We're fair game too, and I say in my standard womanly form

Is there a reason for that though?! "

Yeah we don't message

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I live with my parents - can you come through the back door, please. And be quiet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I feel a bit bad hardly any guys are commenting haha! Roast us! We're fair game too, and I say in my standard womanly form

Is there a reason for that though?!

Yeah we don't message "

This is true.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Free for an hour from 6am-7am. Want to come round?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

U like doggy bby?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi darling

Iv had covid and I'm now immune, you're safe with me.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

*sent 82 messages to the same person and not 1 reply*

Don't be shy baby

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London


"Me and my mate are bored and wanking. I coming round? "

My pal and i are horny and fingering each others pussy's. Can we come round so you can spunk on us?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone got cake..?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've got lovely tits. Can I cum on them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Counting down till I see "How come we are not friends on here yet?"

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Fuck ur bird mate?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can i cum on your glasses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Me and my mate are bored and wanking. I coming round?

My pal and i are horny and fingering each others pussy's. Can we come round so you can spunk on us?"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

do you like pineapple on pizza?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see you only want safe sex but I'm allergic to all condoms but I'm clean.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I wanna clean up after you cum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"do you like pineapple on pizza?"

Oh PP, you know its mandarin segments or its all off... come and fuck me anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I see you only want safe sex but I'm allergic to all condoms but I'm clean. "

But I'd only do it bareback with you babe because you're so special...and im too big for them...and latex makes.me sneeze...and erm...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please send me dick pics, special points if it's in a sink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nibbles bum..... Hi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I see you only want safe sex but I'm allergic to all condoms but I'm clean.

But I'd only do it bareback with you babe because you're so special...and im too big for them...and latex makes.me sneeze...and erm..."

I'll pull out i promise.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"do you like pineapple on pizza?

Oh PP, you know its mandarin segments or its all off... come and fuck me anyway "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Marry me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Marry me?"

I'm still waiting for that one.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I love an older MILF (from a man age 38 )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi naughty girl, wanna fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dunno... what with Catholicism and felatio I haven't been off my knees all day!

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Marry me?

I'm still waiting for that one. "

I've had it a few times.... just off strangers tho!

Come on Ash, pull yer finger out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll give you what your husband can't, baby "

An STI!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Marry me?

I'm still waiting for that one.

I've had it a few times.... just off strangers tho!

Come on Ash, pull yer finger out!"

You tell him.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hey babe, let's go shopping it will be fun

OUCH!

Bend over and I'll show you ouch. I've seen 50 shades twice "

Plz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you let me clean up after you’ve been with someone else

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I'll give you what your husband can't, baby

An STI! "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love women with a massive arse so I might be what you're looking for babe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi

I'm Lola. 5ft6,bbw,dark hair, huge boobs. Genuine, quality not quantity, good girl. Not a time waster.

Your profile caught my eye and I'd love to get to know you babe

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Hi I'm Peach, 42 years old, 4'11 with a deep and wide vagina, well, I've been told it's bigger than average but you can decide that for yourself. You look like the sort of person I'd really like to meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Oh yeah baby {no further information}

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi

I'm Lola. 5ft6,bbw,dark hair, huge boobs. Genuine, quality not quantity, good girl. Not a time waster.

Your profile caught my eye and I'd love to get to know you babe

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not on fab all day, I just didn't log off...

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Meet after Covid? I'm free on Monday afternoon

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I'm not on fab all day, I just didn't log off..."

Attention seeking man-bitch

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Will only play if you're larger than a 250ml red bull can.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi

I'm Lola. 5ft6,bbw,dark hair, huge boobs. Genuine, quality not quantity, good girl. Not a time waster.

Your profile caught my eye and I'd love to get to know you babe

(and same message again)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Hi

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I've recently moved to your area and hoping you can show me the ropes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not on fab all day, I just didn't log off...

Attention seeking man-bitch "

Your only jealous coz i got such a nice arse lol

 (closed, thread got too big)

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