FabSwingers.com forum: Sad day

By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I really love my work but sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Held a ladies hand while she passed away this morning. I have done and seen this on many occasions but this one I can't get my head around and I don't know why.

Sorry for putting this on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *airytaleOfNewPorkMan
over a year ago

Close By

Sometimes its difficult to experience bad things alone... and you havw to share them. Sorry ypu had to go throigh this and please dont apologise for sharing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

no need to apologise ya dafty.

I can only imagine the comfort you gave her in her final moments. That my darling is priceless

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It would be more worrying if it didn't affect you. Take it easy today and be kind to yourself x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

No need to be sorry.

It shows how lovely and caring you are. Xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"I really love my work but sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Held a ladies hand while she passed away this morning. I have done and seen this on many occasions but this one I can't get my head around and I don't know why.

Sorry for putting this on here

This is something i do often and it breaks my heart but knowing they are now at peace and were well cared for helps a little.x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Thank you for what you do xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Thank you for your caring and for being with this lady as she passed. I'm sure you comforted her and that her family will be grateful she was in the care of a loving person in her final moments. Hugs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending a masisve cwtch xx you are a wonderful human being x x thank you for every thing you do x x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

"no need to apologise ya dafty.

I can only imagine the comfort you gave her in her final moments. That my darling is priceless

This! Don't be sorry about letting your feelings be expressed, better to be in the wrong place (not that it is the wrong place) than have them fester and eat from within.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Sometimes the most rewarding jobs can be the most emotionally taxing! Obviously difficult in a very different way but I've seen some safeguarding cases lately that have haunted me somewhat so you have my sympathy when it comes to loving your job but sometimes taking it home with you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because you've done it before doesn't make it easier and doesn't mean you have to put on a brave face.

Allow yourself you mourn and cope in your own way. I'm sorry for your loss and hope you feel better soon

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear about your day.

We all have tuff days and if having a vent on here helps you through it go for it. no one here will hold it against you.

Stay safe and I hope you feel better soon

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awww sweetness.

huge hugs and just to say, you're awesome for being there when they needed you, in their final moments, showing some love and compassion xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you didn't have an emotional response then you shouldn't be doing the job. Its perfectly normal and the best thing is that you are comfortable to express that feeling.

Why that one person? Who knows, sometimes its our personal situation on that day that just makes an extra emotional attachment. Its happened to me and ill never forget that one case, but others I recall less clearly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"I really love my work but sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Held a ladies hand while she passed away this morning. I have done and seen this on many occasions but this one I can't get my head around and I don't know why.

Sorry for putting this on here

Xxxxxxx hugs xxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rimKardashianMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"I really love my work but sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Held a ladies hand while she passed away this morning. I have done and seen this on many occasions but this one I can't get my head around and I don't know why.

Sorry for putting this on here

To approach such a scenario without feeling something would be more worrying, no matter how many times you had encountered it.

Being there at the end of someone's life is immeasurably poignant and hopefully would have afforded them some small comfort knowing that they were not alone.

This is perhaps even more important during these difficult times. Please don't feel sorry for sharing something so touching with us all.

Take care.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending hugs. I hope I have someone with me like you at the end xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No need to apologise. What you done for that lady is priceless and shows how kind and caring you are.

Be gentle with yourself. Sending you hugs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings

"I really love my work but sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Held a ladies hand while she passed away this morning. I have done and seen this on many occasions but this one I can't get my head around and I don't know why.

Sorry for putting this on here

Thank you for being you...

Can I also thank you for reaching out for support on a site like this it's good to see someany care for you and my throught will be with you take care of you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Awww sparkle ...big hugs .. you're one in a million...that lady had the best end of life ... someone there to care

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s really tough. Feel loved

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In their final moments, that lady had someone care when there was nobody else there. Humankind needs more like you. Can I join the many in letting you know how much you and your colleagues are appreciated, admired, and respected.

Don't be afraid to reach out for help. It's not a weakness, it shows strength.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really love my work but sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Held a ladies hand while she passed away this morning. I have done and seen this on many occasions but this one I can't get my head around and I don't know why.

Sorry for putting this on here

Don't apologise! That's an incredibly tough thing to have done, and it's natural for it to affect you.

Take it easy, put your feet up and it'll pass.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really love my work but sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Held a ladies hand while she passed away this morning. I have done and seen this on many occasions but this one I can't get my head around and I don't know why.

Sorry for putting this on here

People like you are needed in this world for the love and compassion you clearly have, and for that reason I doubt you will ever be comfortable with it.

Send a big comforting hug xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No need to be sorry.

It shows how lovely and caring you are. Xx"

Exactly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really love my work but sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Held a ladies hand while she passed away this morning. I have done and seen this on many occasions but this one I can't get my head around and I don't know why.

Sorry for putting this on here

Never say sorry for needing to express your feelings.

I have broken my heart over some of the people I've cared for at the end.

It shows we have compassion

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

You were with her in her final moments that's a wonderful thing for you to do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its wonderful you held her in these final moments x be kind to yourself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

Oh bless you, you were there when she needed someone, be proud of what you do xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending lots of love , I have someone I’m supporting at work who is end of life and it’s heartbreaking you can’t help but feel it too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thoughts are with you, palliative care can be quite hard, especially when having an attachment with the person. Try to take comfort in knowing you contributed to the persons wellbeing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" In their final moments, that lady had someone care when there was nobody else there. Humankind needs more like you. Can I join the many in letting you know how much you and your colleagues are appreciated, admired, and respected.

Don't be afraid to reach out for help. It's not a weakness, it shows strength."

This, so much this. Xxxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending you strength and courage and love

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You my darling are an angel.

I only hope that when it's my time to shuffle off this mortal coil there is someone like you to show me the way.

Stay safe xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uvhandle20Man
over a year ago

SE London

"I really love my work but sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Held a ladies hand while she passed away this morning. I have done and seen this on many occasions but this one I can't get my head around and I don't know why.

Sorry for putting this on here

No reason to be sorry, you are a real human being and I just want to hug you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I gently stroked my late wife's arm as she passed away from pancreatic cancer at 47.

We were together 30 years, and as gut wrenchingly heart breaking for me as it was, I now find a great comfort for doing so, (although I still cannot say why I do).

All I know is people such as you are very very special and beautiful souls. To do this sort of thing on a regular basis takes 'Angels'... My daughters were 11, and 16 when we lost her, my eldest daughter is now a palliative care nurse which makes me so very proud.

God bless you, I pray someone like you will be there for me when my time comes. xxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth

What a gift to humanity you are

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"I really love my work but sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Held a ladies hand while she passed away this morning. I have done and seen this on many occasions but this one I can't get my head around and I don't know why.

Sorry for putting this on here

Hug of support to you OP

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Sending you a big hug

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"I really love my work but sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Held a ladies hand while she passed away this morning. I have done and seen this on many occasions but this one I can't get my head around and I don't know why.

Sorry for putting this on here

I hear you and I thank you deeply for it.

Last year, I was admitted for a week with the sort of pain that had me begging, shouting and writhing and wanting to die. I even cried out that I didn't understand why with so much pain, was I still alive.

Throughout it all, a third year student nurse clasped my hand in hers and didn't let go. She came down to the floor with me, didn't try to shut me up and understood without words that that contact was the only thing that stopped me from going mad with the pain.

She then sat with me whilst I sobbed with relief when the analgesia kicked in.

Thank you for being that person too, the power of a hand to hold is hugely underestimated and highly emotional.

I hope there's someone to hold your hand right now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I really love my work but sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Held a ladies hand while she passed away this morning. I have done and seen this on many occasions but this one I can't get my head around and I don't know why.

Sorry for putting this on here

I hear you and I thank you deeply for it.

She then sat with me whilst I sobbed with relief when the analgesia kicked in.

Thank you for being that person too, the power of a hand to hold is hugely underestimated and highly emotional.

I hope there's someone to hold your hand right now."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *apiomanMan
over a year ago

Shipley

That sounds like a really tough day. We are human and are allowed to feel pain and should talk about it in places we feel safe. Take care. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974 OP Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Thank you all for your kind words today. I still don't think it has sank in yet and I keep replaying a moment over and over again. I take some sort of comfort that she wasn't alone or died in pain. I guess that is what we can all hope for when the time comes.

to you all xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Thank you all for your kind words today. I still don't think it has sank in yet and I keep replaying a moment over and over again. I take some sort of comfort that she wasn't alone or died in pain. I guess that is what we can all hope for when the time comes.

to you all xx"

Xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

What an amazing privilege to be there to comfort and support someone in that moment.

You did a wonderful thing. But I appreciate it’s still a sad thing. Sending hugs.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

to you all xx"

Absolutely

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

[Removed by poster at 26/08/20 19:30:56]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

to you all xx"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

end of life jobs ie hospital / hostels / carehomes can be a very rewarding job ive sat with lots over the years each and everyone brings a tear and sadness as that shows you care the rewarding bit is after when you know you were there doing your job making them as comfortable as can be ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending all the hugs and kisses I can!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tella HeelsTV/TS
over a year ago

west here ford shire

Sorry this event has upset you, I know you probably feel very down..

We all have a limited time on earth, then we have to go

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I can only imagine how difficult this can be at times. I really hope you feel better about it soon. You do such a great job and that you were there is everything and she wasn't alone xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending big hugs x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings

Hope all the love from the site is helping

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ove2pleaseseukMan
over a year ago

Hastings

"end of life jobs ie hospital / hostels / carehomes can be a very rewarding job ive sat with lots over the years each and everyone brings a tear and sadness as that shows you care the rewarding bit is after when you know you were there doing your job making them as comfortable as can be ..."

Hat of to all that do this work don't know I could Handel it mentally that is I could do the physical bit but would not cope inside I'm to soft ....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hat of to all that do this work don't know I could Handel it mentally that is I could do the physical bit but would not cope inside I'm to soft ...."

you have to be soft and caring soft inside is a good trait to have

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh sweetie *hugs*

It’s such an vital thing to help someone in their final moments and it’s a brave thing to do. It’s never easy, so please take comfort in the knowledge you supported that wee lady in the most vulnerable moments of her life.

You did a good thing.

xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must be so sad, but to give comfort to someone must also be very spiritual.

All I can do I send you a virtual big hug. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I'm sorry to hear that, it's never easy to do and is not something I think anyone should get used to doing. In my opinion, when it no longer effects you at all then you are in the wrong job. It often upset me more when I had to sit with a patient whose family wanted to be there but couldn't travel. I guess I felt sad for them.

Sending hugs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I really love my work but sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Held a ladies hand while she passed away this morning. I have done and seen this on many occasions but this one I can't get my head around and I don't know why.

Sorry for putting this on here

Don't be sorry. You needed to share a sad moment. It shows the caring nature of your job and just how much you care.

It's a truth we all have to accept òne day. Stay caring x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

I think it's all been said already Sparkle but no need to apologise - it was so obviously from the heart and had touched you, and has touched all of us that have read it too - you provided comfort and dignity to someone in their final moments and that says a lot about you - doesn't matter if it was the first time or the hundredth it's bound to have an effect - just know that you did a lovely thing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

"I really love my work but sometimes it's heartbreaking.

Held a ladies hand while she passed away this morning. I have done and seen this on many occasions but this one I can't get my head around and I don't know why.

Sorry for putting this on here

Deafly no need to apologise OP. you’re doing a tough job. I’m sure most people will appreciate it.all the power to you and a BIG well done. Don’t ever let anybody tell you different!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread