FabSwingers.com forum: Not meeting (joke thread)

By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Why aren't you meeting? Ridiculous/wrong answers only

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm on my manstruation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm too good looking for all the women on here

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Turning men down makes me horny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I caught my cock in the zip if my fly's

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

My vagina fell off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm already having a threesome with the voices in my head

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This can't meet my expectations in my profile.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Because when I cum I literally blow their head off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not meeting is so much easier to achieve

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm still tied up on the bed from my meet before covid x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My virginity grew back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/08/20 11:42:20]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a woman pretending to be a man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I'm leading a life of celibacy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dildos better than 90% of guys so would rather just fuck my self with that lol

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"My dildos better than 90% of guys so would rather just fuck my self with that lol"

Ooh too close to the truth there

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

None of you match up to my needs

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'm stuck at the peak of the Eiffel Tower like a Xmas tree topper and may be some time getting back down

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"My dildos better than 90% of guys so would rather just fuck my self with that lol

Ooh too close to the truth there

I thought that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dildos better than 90% of guys so would rather just fuck my self with that lol

Ooh too close to the truth there

Emmm yes it is opps lol ha ha

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I'm stuck at the peak of the Eiffel Tower like a Xmas tree topper and may be some time getting back down "

Now there's an image

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By *imon_hydeMan
over a year ago

Stockport

I only believe in sex when married.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I'm a woman pretending to be a man"

Playing fab on expert difficulty level eh?

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

I don’t like sexual encounters and anything related or leading to that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't exist.

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

My boobs aren’t really that big

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just a figment of your imagination.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I have decided not to meet for the foreseeable due to high demand .

I'm no longer in stock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have chickenpox.

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By *umalotagainMan
over a year ago

a town called malice

I’m not meeting as I have so many offers I can’t decide who to meet first so I’m just not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm married so it's a no no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a catfish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My penis has been sent away for repair.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"I caught my cock in the zip if my fly's"

We mate who had to miss a meeting because he sliced his nutsack open trimming his pubes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve been signed up to do boogie nights 2 and I have to preserve my spunk for the camera.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Because I completed Fab, got past the ultimate boss level and there's nothing left to do other than the secret zombie level which I can't be bothered with now I've seen behind the curtain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m pregnant with octuplets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My cock is too big.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

"I’m pregnant with octuplets "

That's gr8

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m pregnant with octuplets "

OMG, me too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m wearing the wrong PPE

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By *assion and MoreCouple
over a year ago

Here and There, Monaghan

Because they are either to close or you far away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The scab on the end hasn’t fallen off yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm too busy suing some yank, singing, usurper who is trying to rip off my name.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive just recently been bitten by a radioactive spider and found when I recently had a wank it stuck the coffee table to my mantelpiece.

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I’m pregnant with octuplets "

Congrats

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m pregnant with octuplets

Congrats

Am I showing yet

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Ive just recently been bitten by a radioactive spider and found when I recently had a wank it stuck the coffee table to my mantelpiece."

I had that after my participation in a vaccine trial

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ive just recently been bitten by a radioactive spider and found when I recently had a wank it stuck the coffee table to my mantelpiece.

I had that after my participation in a vaccine trial

You spunked web fluid?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't, because my parole hearing isn't due for another 12 years...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm dead.

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By *uvhandle20Man
over a year ago

SE London

Masturbation in isolation is sex with someone who loves me and stays for a cuddle afterwards

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I’m pregnant with octuplets

Congrats

Am I showing yet

You are glowing

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By *inkfluffyunicornWoman
over a year ago

newport

My boyfriend doesn’t like watching me get fucked by other guys or playing with woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am too fat and ugly (not strictly a lie)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My boyfriend doesn’t like watching me get fucked by other guys or playing with woman

Glad this is a joke thread babe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm hung like a doughnut!

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

I'm a ghost and people don't believe I exist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a ghost and people don't believe I exist

Was it due to spontaneous combustion?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've joined the convent and repented my horny sins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab has put me on Furlough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only believe in sex when married."

So do most of the single men on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I only believe in sex when married.

So do most of the single men on here!"

Ooooo good burn!

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Ive just recently been bitten by a radioactive spider and found when I recently had a wank it stuck the coffee table to my mantelpiece.

I had that after my participation in a vaccine trial

You spunked web fluid?

God it was a mess. Then I turned green.

Then I reported it to VAERS

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"I'm a ghost and people don't believe I exist

Was it due to spontaneous combustion? "

Funny you should say that...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All ready came on my keyboard wanking off to message sorry is that one to real agen lol xxx

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By *luebellRacerCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

Inaswingdress stole all my condoms...

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Inaswingdress stole all my condoms... "

I ran out of balloons

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By *luebellRacerCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

"Inaswingdress stole all my condoms...

I ran out of balloons "

Crisp packets and an elastic band?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Inaswingdress stole all my condoms...

I ran out of balloons

Crisp packets and an elastic band?

Hair bobble and a bin bag for the VWE

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"Inaswingdress stole all my condoms...

I ran out of balloons

Crisp packets and an elastic band?

Hair bobble and a bin bag for the VWE "

I’d be fine with a thimble

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I fell back in love with my Ex.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

They won't let me out while I'm wanking.

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By *iventake84Man
over a year ago

Manchester

I would but I've just got so much porn to get through.

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By *orraine999Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere

I’m not meeting because I’m watching old episodes of Outlander.

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
over a year ago

Sussex

"Why aren't you meeting? Ridiculous/wrong answers only"

I'm doing my hair tonight.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

I'm allergic to penii

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"I'm allergic to penii

"
especially ceiling ones.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

The butt plug is stuck in my rectum and I am to scared to go to hospital as I don’t want to catch covid

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

Waiting for the antibiotics to kick in and the itch to go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My boobs aren’t really that big

Once that smile is, its all good.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Just discovered VAR porn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm locked in mistresses dumgeon and haven't seen the light of day since beginning of March.

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I'm allergic to penii

Do they have a pill for that?

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

"Why aren't you meeting? Ridiculous/wrong answers only"

I’ve got a note off my mum that says can I please be excused from meeting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dildos better than 90% of guys so would rather just fuck my self with that lol

Ooh too close to the truth there

Burn

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics

Because my daughter very kindly has dyed my eyebrows and I now have to hide from civilization for probably a month. I'd love to say this is a joke, unfortunately I can't say that.

That's something I won't be doing twice.

Mind you I've scrubbed it with everything apart from bleach and by the looks of it I would never need to contemplate doing it twice.

It's got better staying power than a fabster on a Viagra overdose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because my daughter very kindly has dyed my eyebrows and I now have to hide from civilization for probably a month. I'd love to say this is a joke, unfortunately I can't say that.

That's something I won't be doing twice.

Mind you I've scrubbed it with everything apart from bleach and by the looks of it I would never need to contemplate doing it twice.

It's got better staying power than a fabster on a Viagra overdose."

some fairy liquid and baking soda in a paste will sort you out. You'll need a new excuse then though

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I'm allergic to penii

You could always try tagliatelle or spaghetti instead...or farfalle instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m stuck in the bottom of a very deep well !

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I'm a squirrel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I'm under influence of russian covid vaccine. No side effects so far...

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

i'm enjoying phone sex....

yeh, i deepthroat my phone

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By *nglishCharmMan
over a year ago

Midlands

It's been that long I've forgotten how to use it, might have to start watching porn to give me an idea,

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"I'm allergic to penii

You could always try tagliatelle or spaghetti instead...or farfalle instead

Mmmmmmm I do enjoy a farfalle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm colour sorting my belly button fluff

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

My sat nav says no!

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By *naswingdress OP Woman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Because my daughter very kindly has dyed my eyebrows and I now have to hide from civilization for probably a month. I'd love to say this is a joke, unfortunately I can't say that.

That's something I won't be doing twice.

Mind you I've scrubbed it with everything apart from bleach and by the looks of it I would never need to contemplate doing it twice.

It's got better staying power than a fabster on a Viagra overdose."

Dyed too dark or something else? Will makeup help?

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