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(Former) FWB Hot & Cold

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you?

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you? "

I think if he had cancelled for a few weeks then I'd mention it, in this case though, I do think you may have overreacted.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Sounds like you backed him into a corner and he’s backed off. In that instance I’d leave him to come back to you when he’s ready otherwise You will lose him

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you?

I think if he had cancelled for a few weeks then I'd mention it, in this case though, I do think you may have overreacted. "

I appreciate your input. Truly. Its always better to get an outsiders opinion. Just weird how he was so into it and fine and then out of nowhere, he's busy for a week then away.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds like you backed him into a corner and he’s backed off. In that instance I’d leave him to come back to you when he’s ready otherwise You will lose him "

Do you think? Should I have not told him it was annoying he is busy all week? Would it have been better to just say nothing maybe?

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

It seems he is being upfront with you if he is telling you he can't commit to the original deal. Give the boy credit.

Besides, we all have times with particularly busy/stressful weeks....

A *F*WB would understand that, be supportive....... And maybe cheekily demand more than one meet/week in the subsequent week to make it up

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you?

I think if he had cancelled for a few weeks then I'd mention it, in this case though, I do think you may have overreacted.

I appreciate your input. Truly. Its always better to get an outsiders opinion. Just weird how he was so into it and fine and then out of nowhere, he's busy for a week then away. "

Yeah, I get where you're coming from, I'm the same, it's hard when you're actually in the situation.

I think maybe give him space, his time away etc then if you feel you still want to pursue it, message him and see how he's feeling.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It seems he is being upfront with you if he is telling you he can't commit to the original deal. Give the boy credit.

Besides, we all have times with particularly busy/stressful weeks....

A *F*WB would understand that, be supportive....... And maybe cheekily demand more than one meet/week in the subsequent week to make it up "

I appreciate it. Thank you.

Haha cheekily and demand in the same sentence? Hmm

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you?

I think if he had cancelled for a few weeks then I'd mention it, in this case though, I do think you may have overreacted.

I appreciate your input. Truly. Its always better to get an outsiders opinion. Just weird how he was so into it and fine and then out of nowhere, he's busy for a week then away.

Yeah, I get where you're coming from, I'm the same, it's hard when you're actually in the situation.

I think maybe give him space, his time away etc then if you feel you still want to pursue it, message him and see how he's feeling. "

Thank you. I always appreciate someone else's POV. I'll take your advice on board for sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you've lost him. He doesn't know how to tell you. He is now creating distance rather than deal with that conversation.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you?

I think if he had cancelled for a few weeks then I'd mention it, in this case though, I do think you may have overreacted.

I appreciate your input. Truly. Its always better to get an outsiders opinion. Just weird how he was so into it and fine and then out of nowhere, he's busy for a week then away.

Yeah, I get where you're coming from, I'm the same, it's hard when you're actually in the situation.

I think maybe give him space, his time away etc then if you feel you still want to pursue it, message him and see how he's feeling.

Thank you. I always appreciate someone else's POV. I'll take your advice on board for sure. "

Negotiating the complexities of men is a difficult thing, I've given up trying

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think you've lost him. He doesn't know how to tell you. He is now creating distance rather than deal with that conversation.

"

Hmm, over one annoyance? Surprising

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you?

I think if he had cancelled for a few weeks then I'd mention it, in this case though, I do think you may have overreacted.

I appreciate your input. Truly. Its always better to get an outsiders opinion. Just weird how he was so into it and fine and then out of nowhere, he's busy for a week then away.

Yeah, I get where you're coming from, I'm the same, it's hard when you're actually in the situation.

I think maybe give him space, his time away etc then if you feel you still want to pursue it, message him and see how he's feeling.

Thank you. I always appreciate someone else's POV. I'll take your advice on board for sure.

Negotiating the complexities of men is a difficult thing, I've given up trying "

Haha! Oh tell me about it. Been doing it with my boyfriend for 8 years now, i don't know how I've survived

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you?

I think if he had cancelled for a few weeks then I'd mention it, in this case though, I do think you may have overreacted.

I appreciate your input. Truly. Its always better to get an outsiders opinion. Just weird how he was so into it and fine and then out of nowhere, he's busy for a week then away.

Yeah, I get where you're coming from, I'm the same, it's hard when you're actually in the situation.

I think maybe give him space, his time away etc then if you feel you still want to pursue it, message him and see how he's feeling.

Thank you. I always appreciate someone else's POV. I'll take your advice on board for sure.

Negotiating the complexities of men is a difficult thing, I've given up trying

Haha! Oh tell me about it. Been doing it with my boyfriend for 8 years now, i don't know how I've survived "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like the prelude to ghosting, to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definitely give him his space when he gets back dont contact him let him make the first move I know it's hard but you dont want to seem the pushy type as that may make him back off even more x

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you?

I think if he had cancelled for a few weeks then I'd mention it, in this case though, I do think you may have overreacted.

I appreciate your input. Truly. Its always better to get an outsiders opinion. Just weird how he was so into it and fine and then out of nowhere, he's busy for a week then away.

Yeah, I get where you're coming from, I'm the same, it's hard when you're actually in the situation.

I think maybe give him space, his time away etc then if you feel you still want to pursue it, message him and see how he's feeling.

Thank you. I always appreciate someone else's POV. I'll take your advice on board for sure.

Negotiating the complexities of men is a difficult thing, I've given up trying "

We're still more straightforward than you ladies.... x

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you?

I think if he had cancelled for a few weeks then I'd mention it, in this case though, I do think you may have overreacted.

I appreciate your input. Truly. Its always better to get an outsiders opinion. Just weird how he was so into it and fine and then out of nowhere, he's busy for a week then away.

Yeah, I get where you're coming from, I'm the same, it's hard when you're actually in the situation.

I think maybe give him space, his time away etc then if you feel you still want to pursue it, message him and see how he's feeling.

Thank you. I always appreciate someone else's POV. I'll take your advice on board for sure.

Negotiating the complexities of men is a difficult thing, I've given up trying

We're still more straightforward than you ladies.... x"

I'm a simple wench, I just want regular cock, abit of spooning and club shenanigans

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds like the prelude to ghosting, to me."

I did think that then thought "really, after one comment" but hey, we all have our limits

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you?

I think if he had cancelled for a few weeks then I'd mention it, in this case though, I do think you may have overreacted.

I appreciate your input. Truly. Its always better to get an outsiders opinion. Just weird how he was so into it and fine and then out of nowhere, he's busy for a week then away.

Yeah, I get where you're coming from, I'm the same, it's hard when you're actually in the situation.

I think maybe give him space, his time away etc then if you feel you still want to pursue it, message him and see how he's feeling.

Thank you. I always appreciate someone else's POV. I'll take your advice on board for sure.

Negotiating the complexities of men is a difficult thing, I've given up trying

We're still more straightforward than you ladies.... x"

See the thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you?

I think if he had cancelled for a few weeks then I'd mention it, in this case though, I do think you may have overreacted.

I appreciate your input. Truly. Its always better to get an outsiders opinion. Just weird how he was so into it and fine and then out of nowhere, he's busy for a week then away.

Yeah, I get where you're coming from, I'm the same, it's hard when you're actually in the situation.

I think maybe give him space, his time away etc then if you feel you still want to pursue it, message him and see how he's feeling.

Thank you. I always appreciate someone else's POV. I'll take your advice on board for sure.

Negotiating the complexities of men is a difficult thing, I've given up trying

We're still more straightforward than you ladies.... x

I'm a simple wench, I just want regular cock, abit of spooning and club shenanigans "

Im the same. Why so hard!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Definitely give him his space when he gets back dont contact him let him make the first move I know it's hard but you dont want to seem the pushy type as that may make him back off even more x"

True. Will do

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you?

I think if he had cancelled for a few weeks then I'd mention it, in this case though, I do think you may have overreacted.

I appreciate your input. Truly. Its always better to get an outsiders opinion. Just weird how he was so into it and fine and then out of nowhere, he's busy for a week then away.

Yeah, I get where you're coming from, I'm the same, it's hard when you're actually in the situation.

I think maybe give him space, his time away etc then if you feel you still want to pursue it, message him and see how he's feeling.

Thank you. I always appreciate someone else's POV. I'll take your advice on board for sure.

Negotiating the complexities of men is a difficult thing, I've given up trying

We're still more straightforward than you ladies.... x

I'm a simple wench, I just want regular cock, abit of spooning and club shenanigans

Im the same. Why so hard! "

Indeed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sounds like the prelude to ghosting, to me."

Sadly this, I've seen it and experienced it in relationships,

Time to get another FWB or two or three. I think when it's one on one even with the best intentions emotions can get the better of us and we demand attention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he is away seeing family for 2 weeks, he might have a lot to get done before he goes.

Be honest, if you still want to be FWB, just say that and you can talk about it after he gets back from seeing his family.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds like the prelude to ghosting, to me.

Sadly this, I've seen it and experienced it in relationships,

Time to get another FWB or two or three. I think when it's one on one even with the best intentions emotions can get the better of us and we demand attention. "

That would make more sense if I were single but I'm not I think, I probably expect too much from people. Oops

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If he is away seeing family for 2 weeks, he might have a lot to get done before he goes.

Be honest, if you still want to be FWB, just say that and you can talk about it after he gets back from seeing his family."

He will be as of next weekend. I never made the choice to not be, he did. I just expressed my feelings over him not being able to make time to see me before he goes then... poof, demoted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If he is away seeing family for 2 weeks, he might have a lot to get done before he goes.

Be honest, if you still want to be FWB, just say that and you can talk about it after he gets back from seeing his family.

He will be as of next weekend. I never made the choice to not be, he did. I just expressed my feelings over him not being able to make time to see me before he goes then... poof, demoted "

That is the nature of these things sometimes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like he's off in a huff. See what happens after he gets back.

I wouldn't worry about it, I'm sure you can find plenty of willing FWB x

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

It's a relatively new FEB relationship.

You both agreed weekly meets but he's decided that doesn't work for him.

Fair enough, at least he has been honest about it.

I guess you now have to decide if casual is enough for you, if not now is the time to bail.

Its disappointing when things dont go the way you've hoped but hey ho, plenty more FWBs in the sea

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If he is away seeing family for 2 weeks, he might have a lot to get done before he goes.

Be honest, if you still want to be FWB, just say that and you can talk about it after he gets back from seeing his family.

He will be as of next weekend. I never made the choice to not be, he did. I just expressed my feelings over him not being able to make time to see me before he goes then... poof, demoted

That is the nature of these things sometimes x"

Oh im learning that, fast aha

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds like he's off in a huff. See what happens after he gets back.

I wouldn't worry about it, I'm sure you can find plenty of willing FWB x"

Haha, you'd be surprised how hard it is

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

FWB not FEB ffs!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's a relatively new FEB relationship.

You both agreed weekly meets but he's decided that doesn't work for him.

Fair enough, at least he has been honest about it.

I guess you now have to decide if casual is enough for you, if not now is the time to bail.

Its disappointing when things dont go the way you've hoped but hey ho, plenty more FWBs in the sea

"

Thank you! I appreciate it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"FWB not FEB ffs!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sounds like he's off in a huff. See what happens after he gets back.

I wouldn't worry about it, I'm sure you can find plenty of willing FWB x

Haha, you'd be surprised how hard it is "

How hard it is?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds like he's off in a huff. See what happens after he gets back.

I wouldn't worry about it, I'm sure you can find plenty of willing FWB x

Haha, you'd be surprised how hard it is

How hard it is? "

Isn't that my line...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish!

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"It's a relatively new FEB relationship.

You both agreed weekly meets but he's decided that doesn't work for him.

Fair enough, at least he has been honest about it.

I guess you now have to decide if casual is enough for you, if not now is the time to bail.

Its disappointing when things dont go the way you've hoped but hey ho, plenty more FWBs in the sea

"

I think I need to be paddling in a different sea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi OP

He may have lots to plan or organise with work and life in advance of going away and he just doesn't have the time to meet.

When I have fwb's or fb's I always am sure that I can easily walk away from them. I don't want emotional attachment and quite possibly this request from you made him have a red flag alert in his mind.

I would just give him space, he will go away on his hols and hopefully return relaxed and ready to pick up where you left it.

It's worth a chat with him to discuss boundaries and frequency of such events (ie future hols) so that you understand his mindset and he understands your point of view, so that crossed wires are avoided in the future.

It's a bumpy road getting to know people who you're intimate with but always be open to compromise.

I hope this helps, by no means am I criticising you.

Her x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi OP

He may have lots to plan or organise with work and life in advance of going away and he just doesn't have the time to meet.

When I have fwb's or fb's I always am sure that I can easily walk away from them. I don't want emotional attachment and quite possibly this request from you made him have a red flag alert in his mind.

I would just give him space, he will go away on his hols and hopefully return relaxed and ready to pick up where you left it.

It's worth a chat with him to discuss boundaries and frequency of such events (ie future hols) so that you understand his mindset and he understands your point of view, so that crossed wires are avoided in the future.

It's a bumpy road getting to know people who you're intimate with but always be open to compromise.

I hope this helps, by no means am I criticising you.

Her x"

Thank you

I appreciate your comments and feedback so much. I not for one second, thought you were criticising me so dont worry

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

How does the saying go?

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.

I know it's not necessarily love with an FWB, but I'd still apply the same principle - I'd probably send him a message to wish him a nice holiday, and then leave it up to him to make the next contact. If he still wants to see you he'll be in touch when he gets back. If he doesn't, you have your answer.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"How does the saying go?

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.

I know it's not necessarily love with an FWB, but I'd still apply the same principle - I'd probably send him a message to wish him a nice holiday, and then leave it up to him to make the next contact. If he still wants to see you he'll be in touch when he gets back. If he doesn't, you have your answer. "

Good point. Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/08/20 22:42:02]

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"Sounds like you backed him into a corner and he’s backed off. In that instance I’d leave him to come back to you when he’s ready otherwise You will lose him

Do you think? Should I have not told him it was annoying he is busy all week? Would it have been better to just say nothing maybe?"

Yes I do think ..... from my perspective you made it all about you with no understanding of his ‘life’ beyond your Fwb arrangement. Sounds like you’d like it to be a relationship and he doesn’t

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually have a regular fwb from Fab. I have been in the same situation as you a couple of times.

Many men on Fab will say they want a fwb and agree to once a week minimum. However many of them are liars - it’s not what they want - they just want a f**k and go with someone whenever it suits them and think that you will end up settling for this.

If I was you I would just ghost him now and see if he tries to contact you again. If he doesn’t then just move on.

There are some good guys on here who will respect you enough to tell you if there are problems but they are in a minority.

You kept your side of the arrangement so you haven’t done anything wrong.

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London


"It seems he is being upfront with you if he is telling you he can't commit to the original deal. Give the boy credit.

Besides, we all have times with particularly busy/stressful weeks....

A *F*WB would understand that, be supportive....... And maybe cheekily demand more than one meet/week in the subsequent week to make it up

I appreciate it. Thank you.

Haha cheekily and demand in the same sentence? Hmm "

I like cheeky women, sometimes.

Anyway, put the shoe on the other foot. How would you feel if he was giving you grief for not meeting when you were inundated with life chores?...

Be a friend first, and benefits will come naturally when the time is right .

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch


"We're still more straightforward than you ladies.... x

I'm a simple wench, I just want regular cock, abit of spooning and club shenanigans

Im the same. Why so hard! "

It needn't be, as I'd be quite happy with that arrangement, too

But I'm too old for Keeley and too far away from you, Peachy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds like you backed him into a corner and he’s backed off. In that instance I’d leave him to come back to you when he’s ready otherwise You will lose him

Do you think? Should I have not told him it was annoying he is busy all week? Would it have been better to just say nothing maybe?

Yes I do think ..... from my perspective you made it all about you with no understanding of his ‘life’ beyond your Fwb arrangement. Sounds like you’d like it to be a relationship and he doesn’t "

Definitely not. I have a boyfriend. He was purely a FWB who I had expectations of. I expect ones life commitments to be considered before entering into such an agreement otherwise why agree or why get weird when I say how disappointing it is.

Its all very confusing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most people are pretty busy the week leading up to time away, no? I would have probably put an end to things totally, so ya know... If I wanted that kind of demanding reaction, to a one time occurance, I would get a bf

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By *quaman87Man
over a year ago

douglas


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you? "

You getting feelings?? Does it bother you that much?

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

[Removed by poster at 25/08/20 23:03:31]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It seems he is being upfront with you if he is telling you he can't commit to the original deal. Give the boy credit.

Besides, we all have times with particularly busy/stressful weeks....

A *F*WB would understand that, be supportive....... And maybe cheekily demand more than one meet/week in the subsequent week to make it up

I appreciate it. Thank you.

Haha cheekily and demand in the same sentence? Hmm

I like cheeky women, sometimes.

Anyway, put the shoe on the other foot. How would you feel if he was giving you grief for not meeting when you were inundated with life chores?...

Be a friend first, and benefits will come naturally when the time is right . "

I see your point.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"It seems he is being upfront with you if he is telling you he can't commit to the original deal. Give the boy credit.

Besides, we all have times with particularly busy/stressful weeks....

A *F*WB would understand that, be supportive....... And maybe cheekily demand more than one meet/week in the subsequent week to make it up "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you?

You getting feelings?? Does it bother you that much? "

My issue is the hot and cold and being messed around. I'm quite specific when talking to people and making connections, before even meeting. If someone is interested I let them know the few things I expect... So yes, it bothers me that I'm told what I want to hear.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Most people are pretty busy the week leading up to time away, no? I would have probably put an end to things totally, so ya know... If I wanted that kind of demanding reaction, to a one time occurance, I would get a bf "

Again. I have one. So wanting him as one is NOT the case lol

I probably should have put that in the first bit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I usually have a regular fwb from Fab. I have been in the same situation as you a couple of times.

Many men on Fab will say they want a fwb and agree to once a week minimum. However many of them are liars - it’s not what they want - they just want a f**k and go with someone whenever it suits them and think that you will end up settling for this.

If I was you I would just ghost him now and see if he tries to contact you again. If he doesn’t then just move on.

There are some good guys on here who will respect you enough to tell you if there are problems but they are in a minority.

You kept your side of the arrangement so you haven’t done anything wrong."

I wouldn't have minded if it was discussed in the beginning but it was agreed and no issue for him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Most people are pretty busy the week leading up to time away, no? I would have probably put an end to things totally, so ya know... If I wanted that kind of demanding reaction, to a one time occurance, I would get a bf

Again. I have one. So wanting him as one is NOT the case lol

I probably should have put that in the first bit. "

Not really what I meant but you are still treating more like a bf than an fwb... I live with my fwb but I don't expect him to prioritise me over his own life, whatever that might be, we don't answer to eachother, only ourselves... Hence, fwb, not a couple

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Most people are pretty busy the week leading up to time away, no? I would have probably put an end to things totally, so ya know... If I wanted that kind of demanding reaction, to a one time occurance, I would get a bf

Again. I have one. So wanting him as one is NOT the case lol

I probably should have put that in the first bit.

Not really what I meant but you are still treating more like a bf than an fwb... I live with my fwb but I don't expect him to prioritise me over his own life, whatever that might be, we don't answer to eachother, only ourselves... Hence, fwb, not a couple "

Then why agree to what it is i want if you cannot fulfil that? I also never asked to be a priority. I asked for once a week.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I usually have a regular fwb from Fab. I have been in the same situation as you a couple of times.

Many men on Fab will say they want a fwb and agree to once a week minimum. However many of them are liars - it’s not what they want - they just want a f**k and go with someone whenever it suits them and think that you will end up settling for this.

If I was you I would just ghost him now and see if he tries to contact you again. If he doesn’t then just move on.

There are some good guys on here who will respect you enough to tell you if there are problems but they are in a minority.

You kept your side of the arrangement so you haven’t done anything wrong.

I wouldn't have minded if it was discussed in the beginning but it was agreed and no issue for him. "

Yes many Fab men will say they agree to whatever you say and appear to be delighted. They just want everything handed to them on a plate - entitled.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Shut the door and walk away. "Hes not that into you" its worth a read brilliant book.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I've only read the O.P.

Your expectations are too rigid.

Life happens. If you can't be a little flexible to accommodate changes n fluctuations in life then you are fucked.

You both agreed to have a fuck at least once per week........ the best anyone can do on that is stick to it when it's possible.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I usually have a regular fwb from Fab. I have been in the same situation as you a couple of times.

Many men on Fab will say they want a fwb and agree to once a week minimum. However many of them are liars - it’s not what they want - they just want a f**k and go with someone whenever it suits them and think that you will end up settling for this.

If I was you I would just ghost him now and see if he tries to contact you again. If he doesn’t then just move on.

There are some good guys on here who will respect you enough to tell you if there are problems but they are in a minority.

You kept your side of the arrangement so you haven’t done anything wrong.

I wouldn't have minded if it was discussed in the beginning but it was agreed and no issue for him.

Yes many Fab men will say they agree to whatever you say and appear to be delighted. They just want everything handed to them on a plate - entitled."

It's unfortunate but true! Even when I compromised what I wanted for him, it's still too much, apparently.

I got a lot of views and opinions which is what I wanted so I'm grateful for that at least.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Shut the door and walk away. "Hes not that into you" its worth a read brilliant book.

"

Noted

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch


"Most people are pretty busy the week leading up to time away, no? I would have probably put an end to things totally, so ya know... If I wanted that kind of demanding reaction, to a one time occurance, I would get a bf

Again. I have one. So wanting him as one is NOT the case lol

I probably should have put that in the first bit.

Not really what I meant but you are still treating more like a bf than an fwb... I live with my fwb but I don't expect him to prioritise me over his own life, whatever that might be, we don't answer to eachother, only ourselves... Hence, fwb, not a couple

Then why agree to what it is i want if you cannot fulfil that? I also never asked to be a priority. I asked for once a week."

Simple answer life changes, things come up, what you agree to at the beginning doesn’t mean that is how it is going to be always.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Most people are pretty busy the week leading up to time away, no? I would have probably put an end to things totally, so ya know... If I wanted that kind of demanding reaction, to a one time occurance, I would get a bf

Again. I have one. So wanting him as one is NOT the case lol

I probably should have put that in the first bit.

Not really what I meant but you are still treating more like a bf than an fwb... I live with my fwb but I don't expect him to prioritise me over his own life, whatever that might be, we don't answer to eachother, only ourselves... Hence, fwb, not a couple

Then why agree to what it is i want if you cannot fulfil that? I also never asked to be a priority. I asked for once a week.

Simple answer life changes, things come up, what you agree to at the beginning doesn’t mean that is how it is going to be always. "

Point taken

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks all for your input. Much appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people like the idea of a regular meet up, but the reality is that life gets in the way.

Certainly, a weekly fwb would be perfect for me in theory, but realistically some weeks I’m too busy.

If a fwb got annoyed with me because I couldn’t see them, then I’d probably put a stop to things too as the whole point (for me) of that kind of set up is not having to answer to someone or feel like I need/should see someone when I’m busy or just don’t want to. There’s a difference between being disappointed and being annoyed, too.

Just my perspective.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor


"Definitely give him his space when he gets back dont contact him let him make the first move I know it's hard but you dont want to seem the pushy type as that may make him back off even more x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So, I got into a new FWB relationship recently and all seemed to be going well. We discussed beforehand what we like and don't like, what we expect, etc. One thing we agreed to was weekly meets minimum.

He's due to go away for a couple weeks to see family so I asked to see him this week before he goes and he said he can't as he is busy all week - even the weekend when I'm his City. This annoyed me and I expressed that and now he's decided we shouldn't be FWB and just casual as he can't see me when I want.

Am I overreacting? Has this, or something similar happened to you? "

A woman overreacting ?? Never.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you could have won either way, if someone is interested: they are interested. I had a great meet over the weekend, but looking back for me there was a lot of work involved. I asked before I booked and paid for hotels, she confirmed, went quiet. I never said anything just kept on as usual. Confirmed I was coming and got yeah all good.. Went no show day one, show late day 2.Gotta say had an amazing time, I thought got on really well. Came back getting two word answers if any.. I haven't raised it, I have simply put it down to it was what it was. I know if I ask I will just get, I am busy or this is happening.. Sad really as she is an amazing lady. But that's me if I like someone I really like them. As I said if people are interested they would be interested...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Definitely give him his space when he gets back dont contact him let him make the first move I know it's hard but you dont want to seem the pushy type as that may make him back off even more x

"

I am doing exactly this, but tbh how hard is it to be polite or honest? All that people want is a straight answer, not to be towed alone in case something else better turns up.. I only ever want to make the people I choose to have in my life feel special and wanted. I love big, perhaps that's my problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think you could have won either way, if someone is interested: they are interested. I had a great meet over the weekend, but looking back for me there was a lot of work involved. I asked before I booked and paid for hotels, she confirmed, went quiet. I never said anything just kept on as usual. Confirmed I was coming and got yeah all good.. Went no show day one, show late day 2.Gotta say had an amazing time, I thought got on really well. Came back getting two word answers if any.. I haven't raised it, I have simply put it down to it was what it was. I know if I ask I will just get, I am busy or this is happening.. Sad really as she is an amazing lady. But that's me if I like someone I really like them. As I said if people are interested they would be interested... "

Sorry to hear this hun...x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think you could have won either way, if someone is interested: they are interested. I had a great meet over the weekend, but looking back for me there was a lot of work involved. I asked before I booked and paid for hotels, she confirmed, went quiet. I never said anything just kept on as usual. Confirmed I was coming and got yeah all good.. Went no show day one, show late day 2.Gotta say had an amazing time, I thought got on really well. Came back getting two word answers if any.. I haven't raised it, I have simply put it down to it was what it was. I know if I ask I will just get, I am busy or this is happening.. Sad really as she is an amazing lady. But that's me if I like someone I really like them. As I said if people are interested they would be interested...

Sorry to hear this hun...x"

Thank you, I am starting to learn who I am and what I do. I don't ever want to change me and I know I can't change other people (nor should I want to). I think that helps me deal with this kind of thing.. I think what I struggle with is the could have been and feeling of missing. I am sure that's a more advanced part of my self healing. Or actually what's wrong with that feeling? I love giving my heart, that is who I am.. Hopeless romantic, wasn't after marriage just for things to continue as they were. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think you could have won either way, if someone is interested: they are interested. I had a great meet over the weekend, but looking back for me there was a lot of work involved. I asked before I booked and paid for hotels, she confirmed, went quiet. I never said anything just kept on as usual. Confirmed I was coming and got yeah all good.. Went no show day one, show late day 2.Gotta say had an amazing time, I thought got on really well. Came back getting two word answers if any.. I haven't raised it, I have simply put it down to it was what it was. I know if I ask I will just get, I am busy or this is happening.. Sad really as she is an amazing lady. But that's me if I like someone I really like them. As I said if people are interested they would be interested...

Sorry to hear this hun...x

Thank you, I am starting to learn who I am and what I do. I don't ever want to change me and I know I can't change other people (nor should I want to). I think that helps me deal with this kind of thing.. I think what I struggle with is the could have been and feeling of missing. I am sure that's a more advanced part of my self healing. Or actually what's wrong with that feeling? I love giving my heart, that is who I am.. Hopeless romantic, wasn't after marriage just for things to continue as they were. X"

You know where i am. Wont bombard the forum x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sounds like the prelude to ghosting, to me.

Sadly this, I've seen it and experienced it in relationships,

Time to get another FWB or two or three. I think when it's one on one even with the best intentions emotions can get the better of us and we demand attention.

That would make more sense if I were single but I'm not I think, I probably expect too much from people. Oops "

Take it you're other half doesn't know you are having a fwb then?

Have you got more of an emotional tie to the fwb than he has to you and could this be the reason he's backing off, so you don't get hurt?

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss


"Sounds like you backed him into a corner and he’s backed off. In that instance I’d leave him to come back to you when he’s ready otherwise You will lose him

Do you think? Should I have not told him it was annoying he is busy all week? Would it have been better to just say nothing maybe?

Yes I do think ..... from my perspective you made it all about you with no understanding of his ‘life’ beyond your Fwb arrangement. Sounds like you’d like it to be a relationship and he doesn’t

Definitely not. I have a boyfriend. He was purely a FWB who I had expectations of. I expect ones life commitments to be considered before entering into such an agreement otherwise why agree or why get weird when I say how disappointing it is.

Its all very confusing."

Have you considered that he may have found someone else?

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I have a radical idea: ask him what he thinks?

You know how people join the gym with the intentions of going 3 times a week, getting an instructor, shedding kilos, building abs... the reality is that 3 times a week is a if commitment when you have daily life too.

Maybe he said once a week is good and with optimism in his heart and boobs on his mind he meant it. However we all have other commitments too like family, friends and a job.

How about you ask him for a chat when he comes back and you can go over what you both think is achievable now you’ve tried it for a bit.

It needs to be in an environment where you can both feel safe to speak honestly though, otherwise he might just tell you what he thinks you want to hear, or leave entirely.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds like the prelude to ghosting, to me.

Sadly this, I've seen it and experienced it in relationships,

Time to get another FWB or two or three. I think when it's one on one even with the best intentions emotions can get the better of us and we demand attention.

That would make more sense if I were single but I'm not I think, I probably expect too much from people. Oops

Take it you're other half doesn't know you are having a fwb then?

Have you got more of an emotional tie to the fwb than he has to you and could this be the reason he's backing off, so you don't get hurt? "

Boyfriend knows, of course.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds like you backed him into a corner and he’s backed off. In that instance I’d leave him to come back to you when he’s ready otherwise You will lose him

Do you think? Should I have not told him it was annoying he is busy all week? Would it have been better to just say nothing maybe?

Yes I do think ..... from my perspective you made it all about you with no understanding of his ‘life’ beyond your Fwb arrangement. Sounds like you’d like it to be a relationship and he doesn’t

Definitely not. I have a boyfriend. He was purely a FWB who I had expectations of. I expect ones life commitments to be considered before entering into such an agreement otherwise why agree or why get weird when I say how disappointing it is.

Its all very confusing.

Have you considered that he may have found someone else?"

No? I mean, he may have but the whole thing was still really fresh so thatd be surprising

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I have a radical idea: ask him what he thinks?

You know how people join the gym with the intentions of going 3 times a week, getting an instructor, shedding kilos, building abs... the reality is that 3 times a week is a if commitment when you have daily life too.

Maybe he said once a week is good and with optimism in his heart and boobs on his mind he meant it. However we all have other commitments too like family, friends and a job.

How about you ask him for a chat when he comes back and you can go over what you both think is achievable now you’ve tried it for a bit.

It needs to be in an environment where you can both feel safe to speak honestly though, otherwise he might just tell you what he thinks you want to hear, or leave entirely."

Good idea. Thank you

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I'm no5 one who would arrange a definite weekly because life does get in the way. I wouldn't like to be made to feel like I'd let someone down.

I think you have probably over reacted.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I have a radical idea: ask him what he thinks?

You know how people join the gym with the intentions of going 3 times a week, getting an instructor, shedding kilos, building abs... the reality is that 3 times a week is a if commitment when you have daily life too.

Maybe he said once a week is good and with optimism in his heart and boobs on his mind he meant it. However we all have other commitments too like family, friends and a job.

How about you ask him for a chat when he comes back and you can go over what you both think is achievable now you’ve tried it for a bit.

It needs to be in an environment where you can both feel safe to speak honestly though, otherwise he might just tell you what he thinks you want to hear, or leave entirely."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Most people are pretty busy the week leading up to time away, no? I would have probably put an end to things totally, so ya know... If I wanted that kind of demanding reaction, to a one time occurance, I would get a bf

Again. I have one. So wanting him as one is NOT the case lol

I probably should have put that in the first bit.

Not really what I meant but you are still treating more like a bf than an fwb... I live with my fwb but I don't expect him to prioritise me over his own life, whatever that might be, we don't answer to eachother, only ourselves... Hence, fwb, not a couple

Then why agree to what it is i want if you cannot fulfil that? I also never asked to be a priority. I asked for once a week."

From your original post, you make it sound like this is the only time he has said he is too busy but the rest it sounds like he does it all the time... Once in a week before he is going away shouldn't be a problem.... We all have lives, regardless of what we would rather be doing, hence making the agreement in the first place, no?

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