FabSwingers.com forum: Split or self?

By *oodnitegirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Have booked a train for 3 people. Let’s say it was £40pp for arguments sake.

My brother is in the Forces so gets a discount (I also get one but could only use one railcard per booking). I messaged him and my sister and said it’s now x amount each. (A split of 3 of the final price). He txt back and said ‘err. No. It’s MY discount.’

In my opinion that’s pure selfish.

I suppose it’s like when you go out for a meal. I instantly just think ‘i will pay my quarter (or whatever)’ and it’s like a given.

Are you a splitter or a selfer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Splitter

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

splitter usually but I'm quite conscious that some people might not be able to afford to split so I try to be aware of that especially in restaurants. I do get a bit miffed when someone glugs expensive wine and orders the most expensive food then magnanimously and ostentatiously puts their "share" in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Split if my amount is less than theirs, self if mine is more so they do not have to pay for me

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By *oodnitegirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"splitter usually but I'm quite conscious that some people might not be able to afford to split so I try to be aware of that especially in restaurants. I do get a bit miffed when someone glugs expensive wine and orders the most expensive food then magnanimously and ostentatiously puts their "share" in

I suppose a restaurant is a bit of a hard example for that very reason but then I can’t think of another where there wouldn’t be a divided amount (like a retirement present at work for example)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to be a selfer these days. I have friends that will order costly things and want to split things equally. Ironic when they're the ones with the well paid jobs.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I suppose a restaurant is a bit of a hard example for that very reason but then I can’t think of another where there wouldn’t be a divided amount (like a retirement present at work for example)"

Yeah, its one area that's ripe for simmering resentment.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I think it depends really. I was talking about the restaurant scenario with someone in work the other day actually. I'm usually happy to split but some people take the piss. I don't usually drink and I've been out with people before who had about an expensive bottle of wine each or fancy cocktails as well as ordering expensive steak meals while I don't eat meat. I'm not going to sit there working it out but if you've clearly spent £20-£30 more than other people at the table then at least offer to chuck in some extra towards the bill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Splitter... But I usually lose out as I'm vegan and tend to drive, so my meal + drinks are dirt cheap and i end up subbing 10 huge d*unk men who eat for England

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Usually a splitter. If someone has taken extra food or drink with their meal I’d tell them why it’s not an exact split.

Maybe because I do it infrequently it doesn’t really matter if it’s a few quid here or there, I should get more than that in the value of their company.

“Sorry Dave, you didn’t make me laugh tonight and that anecdote was shite. You’re paying for your own dessert and try harder next time”

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By *uge G RectionMan
over a year ago

where I like to be... down south

Well as I only go out for meals with either my kids or as a "date" then I dont split the bill, I just pay for it all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Splitter... But I usually lose out as I'm vegan and tend to drive, so my meal + drinks are dirt cheap and i end up subbing 10 huge d*unk men who eat for England

This is me too! I dont drink much yet my mates all have 5 beers against my one soft drink!

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"Splitter... But I usually lose out as I'm vegan and tend to drive, so my meal + drinks are dirt cheap and i end up subbing 10 huge d*unk men who eat for England

They make you pay at a pre-gangbang meal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always a splitter, I've been sat at tables all awkward when some people want to do the self thing, back fired a couple times when they ended up paying more.. Then complained after

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

If splitting the bill for

a meal If it's more or less the same then split but if someone is over indugent then selfer.

I wouldn't think twice about splitting my rail discount between those traveling.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Splitter... But I usually lose out as I'm vegan and tend to drive, so my meal + drinks are dirt cheap and i end up subbing 10 huge d*unk men who eat for England

Yeah. Usually a splitter but I've had a few "well hang on" conversations when I nurse a lemonade and my companions have several alcoholic drinks. Once in awhile, fine.

With some groups we now do split except drinks

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"I think it depends really. I was talking about the restaurant scenario with someone in work the other day actually. I'm usually happy to split but some people take the piss. I don't usually drink and I've been out with people before who had about an expensive bottle of wine each or fancy cocktails as well as ordering expensive steak meals while I don't eat meat. I'm not going to sit there working it out but if you've clearly spent £20-£30 more than other people at the table then at least offer to chuck in some extra towards the bill. "

If it’s that far adrift you can quickly add up what you had, throw your cash in and let the others split it between them.

Seems crazy that friends would take advantage like that

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By *amantha1967Woman
over a year ago

Redditch

As a non drinker I get really miffed after drinking a lemonade to split the bill and end up paying a share for several bottles of wine and cocktails

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By *oodnitegirl OP Woman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Away from the restaurant thing I was thinking more about the original tickets scenario as that seems ‘fairer’

Im literally still shocked. Wish you could still shove them out of an open door like on a western/circus train

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends..

On a night out as a group, when I am driving, I dont appreciate splitting the drinks bill, and I cant be doing with those that order all expensive choices, like steak or lamb, and then expect to split it.

If its family I am happy to split.

Basically, I am generous, but dont take the piss!!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Away from the restaurant thing I was thinking more about the original tickets scenario as that seems ‘fairer’

Im literally still shocked. Wish you could still shove them out of an open door like on a western/circus train

That does seem pretty tight

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

If it’s that far adrift you can quickly add up what you had, throw your cash in and let the others split it between them.

Seems crazy that friends would take advantage like that

Never had an issue with friends. Either when I go with friends the bill is fairly equal or I have other friends who are self aware enough to know they drink more so chip in extra. It's usually happened in situations I don't know people well like with an exs extended family or a group where I only know one or two people. The consensus has been to split so I've just begrudgingly paid my £50 share for my main and soft drink

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also it depends,

For something like that train example then its split all the way as it's just fair even if it was me who gets the discount.

For meals out though if its obvious that one has chosen differently to others then they either pay the lions share or pay the least in a group situation.

One on one then even over a long period of time i hate thinking someone else has paid more than me, especially a female as I am old fashioned in some ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Splitter... But I usually lose out as I'm vegan and tend to drive, so my meal + drinks are dirt cheap and i end up subbing 10 huge d*unk men who eat for England

This is me too! I dont drink much yet my mates all have 5 beers against my one soft drink! "

Wow 5 beers... Thats an appetiser for my guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Splitter... But I usually lose out as I'm vegan and tend to drive, so my meal + drinks are dirt cheap and i end up subbing 10 huge d*unk men who eat for England

They make you pay at a pre-gangbang meal?

You don't usually pay

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

We travel as a group (with kids) on the train every now and again and a couple of people have railcards (You can add more than one on Trainline) plus you get a group save deal for more than 3 adults together so we always just split the final cost equally. The adults pay an equal share regardless of how many children we each have.

Perhaps you should charge your brother an admin/booking fee

The splitting the restaurant bill thing depends on who we’re with really. If I’m with my regular friends it’s an equal split as it all comes out in the wash but with others I’m conscious that some may not be able to afford as much as others and it’s not fair to assume we’re splitting it, we usually have a rough idea of what we’ve spent and round up to include a tip.

I get frustrated at those who rush off and chuck some money down then when the bill arrives it includes the ‘forgotten’ extras and service charge etc.

And I have one friend who drinks more in soft drinks and coffee than I do in wine but still expects the drinkers to pay extra ... you live and learn.

Lou x

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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

Splitter... I just see it as swings and roundabouts. Sometime it may benefit you more than others..

I always agree prior to ordering in a group..

If someone not drinking alcohol for example we would not expect them to contribute towards that aspect of the bill.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

In some occasions I will pay the entire bill rather than get into the split/self argument, but most times its split, or split + if I feel I should pay more for having more drinks/food etc.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I tend to be a splitter unless I've had something expensive, in which case I wouldn't ask someone else to subsidise me.

I do have one mate who is a nightmare for this. We once went to the cinema back when orange Wednesday was a thing - her idea. I was with orange and foolishly assumed we'd each pay half price, but her theory was that I would have to pay anyway, so the free ticket was hers as it didn't cost me anything.

We tend now to just either meet at home or go for coffee and each buy our own. It's too petty a thing to lose a friendship over, but it's a constant gnawing annoyance when she takes being cheap to such extraordinary levels (when she also isn't hard up for cash!).

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I think in your example he is being selfish and I would agree to a split, but that's an unusual situation.

However, I am not here to subsidise anybody. Take a restaurant for example. If I don't have a starter and others do, I'm not going to split. I'll pay for what I have. Why should anybody have my money towards what they had and I didn't? I also don't drink alcohol and only have water at restaurants. I'm not subsidising other people's drinks.

Equally, if I have a dessert and not everybody else does I don't expect anybody to subsidise me.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Your brother seems the opposite to you. I bet you were quite taken aback by his attitude.

We would always split costs evenly.We do when we are out for a meal with others, even if I just have 1 course and others have 3 courses. It's how we do things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Total bill split by amount of people. Simple...!

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By *imon_hydeMan
over a year ago

Stockport

I'm a splitter, I always ask what other people are ordering and tend to base my order around that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Almost always self as I like steaks, drinks, sides, etc. and C usually likes a nice main and a dessert so would bu unfair to expect others to subsidise our part of the bill, always add a bit extra towards a tip if the service has been good too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Splitter, but more often I'll take turns to pay the whole bill if it's with someone or ppl I go out with frequently, my treat/their treat....

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"Splitter, but more often I'll take turns to pay the whole bill if it's with someone or ppl I go out with frequently, my treat/their treat....

I do this with friends sometimes. Or if one of us is skint the other will front it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

splitter, its always good so share

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have booked a train for 3 people. Let’s say it was £40pp for arguments sake.

In my opinion that’s pure selfish.

I suppose it’s like when you go out for a meal. I instantly just think ‘i will pay my quarter (or whatever)’ and it’s like a given.

Are you a splitter or a selfer?"

Can I check 3 x £40 = £120 (I know slow down there Einstein)

If, for sake of my basic maths skills his discount is 10% that would mean the tickets are now £108

Is he expecting you pair to pay £40 and he pays £28 where you were suggesting £36 each??

If so, he really is taking the piss

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Always a splitter - unless out with a friend who is tee-total. I'd never let her pay my G&T compared to her sprite!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Split always! Can’t be doing with but you had an expensive starter and you had a pudding and people getting their phone calculators out! They wouldn’t be my kind of people.

If someone isn’t drinking it’s different but very rare that any of my friends don’t drink!

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