FabSwingers.com forum: Blowing hot and cold..

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am going to meet a friend this weekend, I have booked my own hotel as she lives near and don't want to make any assumptions. But the conversations are drying up, I am messaging which aren't really getting a reply, until I don't message for a while then she springs into life. I know she may just be busy and trying to reply when she can.. But not really sure if this is a game and seeing how I react. I know people say "if she was interested, she would be interested" advise needed pls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ask her"

Yep ask her straight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's no harm in asking her, I think its perfectly acceptable to want to confirm arrangements.

Her x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the 'pattern ' of communication changes, it's usually an indicator that something is a bit off

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Talk to her and be honest

have a back up activity as well just incase and by that I don't mean another lady

I plan mine with shopping or places I want to see, so if something does crop up its not a wasted journey

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

Definitely ask her OP rather than over thinking it

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

If your instinct is telling you something isn't quite right, then it's worth you looking into.

Maybe confirm with the arrangements or ask to speak on the phone or Skype for a little chat.

You could always look at a backup plan, if your hotel isn't cancellable, maybe you could look for a club hosting a social in the area just in case it doesn't work out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a similar thing once, even when I asked her she said it’s all good, then on the day of the meet(hotel booked etc) nothing not a thing then I was blocked

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Haven't asked about the conversations, she drops a message now and again apologising for lack of contact as been very busy, I say no need to apologise. I did ask if she definitely wants me to come down and she confirmed loads of time... Then I will wake up to pics and vids from her.. Very confusing, think I should just go with an open mind and if nothing comes of it. I am in a beautiful part of the world in a hotel with a pool. So no complaints from me.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"Haven't asked about the conversations, she drops a message now and again apologising for lack of contact as been very busy, I say no need to apologise. I did ask if she definitely wants me to come down and she confirmed loads of time... Then I will wake up to pics and vids from her.. Very confusing, think I should just go with an open mind and if nothing comes of it. I am in a beautiful part of the world in a hotel with a pool. So no complaints from me. "

Yeah, as you’ve already asked her a few times then I’d not ask her anymore else it will look a bit like you’re fussing and could put her off. Vids and messages on wake up is to me a sign she is still interested. So long as you are getting some contact, rather than none, then all is cool.

Hope it goes well

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hope it goes well

Much appreciated, worst case I have a nice spar hotel for the weekend. Can't loose really, although a bit of female contact would top it off

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

I personally don’t like endless conversations however it’s kind a required until the initial meet arranged to establish trust and getting to know eachother. That’s why I tend to shorten my messages or not message much when plan is certain. Reason is that, I try to keep things to say in messages to the actual meet.

Regardless, everyone is different so I would definitely ask if you feel uncertain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am going to meet a friend this weekend, I have booked my own hotel as she lives near and don't want to make any assumptions. But the conversations are drying up, I am messaging which aren't really getting a reply, until I don't message for a while then she springs into life. I know she may just be busy and trying to reply when she can.. But not really sure if this is a game and seeing how I react. I know people say "if she was interested, she would be interested" advise needed pls. "

You make the extra effort when your interested or you make excuses when your not

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah.. Oh well if it wasn't on my mind: I wouldn't have asked. 1st dip of my toe in the water for a while, not really had the confidence up till now. If it happens it happens, if not well at least I have had the courage to take a chance, which is massive for me. Peace out folks and thank you for your input x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I definitely wouldn’t be sending pics and vids if I wasn’t interested OP , sounds like maybe she genuinely has been busy or isn’t great at keeping in contact consistently? I hope your night goes to plan , nice bum btw

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I’ve been accused of doing this OP! I don’t think I blow hot and cold, just have a lot going on in my life so don’t always feel like messaging everyday or all sexy. However when I do think of him, he brings a smile to my face and I message straight away. I would never think of not meeting him if and when we arrange something. I do hope your friend is similar and enjoy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m now invested in this story - please come back and update us how it goes OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you mean by "friend"? Someone you have met before and are friends with?

Or...

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

That's the trouble with second guessing and overthinking - doubts start to creep in - obviously haven't been party to the conversations OP, and a lot may depend on the connection and chemistry you've built, but from what you've said I think you have to trust what she's told you about being busy especially given the wake up messages and take her at her word.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do you mean by "friend"? Someone you have met before and are friends with?

Or..."

Its a lady I met on holiday, we didn't speak all day, but kept getting caught passing casual glances. Normally I would break off a stare but couldn't and ended up waving like Forest Gump when he sees lieutenant Dan on his boat (very embarrassing).

I say friend because I don't know what either wants yet? I have been honest and said I am not ready for a relationship, but like the thought of some company...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I definitely wouldn’t be sending pics and vids if I wasn’t interested OP , sounds like maybe she genuinely has been busy or isn’t great at keeping in contact consistently? I hope your night goes to plan , nice bum btw

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you mean by "friend"? Someone you have met before and are friends with?

Or...

I say friend because I don't know what either wants yet? I have been honest and said I am not ready for a relationship, but like the thought of some company...

Sounds promising. Hope it goes well.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all for your kind input.

I politely messaged this morning, basically saying if she had changed her mind: that's OK, I am a grown up and am going to stick to my plans as the hotel is nice.

Got a quick reply back saying she hadn't changed her mind, so watch this space

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