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Heartless !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

and 'cruel to be kind'.

Same trait or different ?

I don't consider myself either of these. How about you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Different. Heartless as in cold, no empathy, inconsiderate of feelings.

Cruel to be kind - well intended but often harsh. Coming from a good place in a hard criticism with a lots of love on side?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are different imo.

‘Heartless’ infers someone lacks compassion, understanding and shows a complete lack of feelings or consideration.

‘Cruel to be kind’ is doing or saying something to ultimately benefit the person in the long run. Someone heartless wouldn’t care at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They are different imo.

‘Heartless’ infers someone lacks compassion, understanding and shows a complete lack of feelings or consideration.

‘Cruel to be kind’ is doing or saying something to ultimately benefit the person in the long run. Someone heartless wouldn’t care at all.

"

I wouldn’t describe myself as either.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ


"They are different imo.

‘Heartless’ infers someone lacks compassion, understanding and shows a complete lack of feelings or consideration.

‘Cruel to be kind’ is doing or saying something to ultimately benefit the person in the long run. Someone heartless wouldn’t care at all.

"

What Fallout said ^

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Different. Heartless as in cold, no empathy, inconsiderate of feelings.

Cruel to be kind - well intended but often harsh. Coming from a good place in a hard criticism with a lots of love on side?"

Agree .

If you were in a situation where you felt harshly treated. How could you tell which of the above traits the person is possessing ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Seeking answers in the deep blue sea

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Is there any need to be cruel to be kind, it really works and is just an excuse to be selfish.

You can be brave and say and do difficult / challenging things , but never any need for cruelty

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

I'm doing some tough love at the moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"and 'cruel to be kind'.

Same trait or different ?

I don't consider myself either of these. How about you?

"

No, they’re completely different.

I’m neither. I’d be more likely to be an enabler, than doing something harsh for someone’s own good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it hurts you to be harsh with someone, then that's being cruel to be kind.

If you it doesn't bother you to be harsh with someone, then that's heartless.

If you enjoy being harsh with someone, then that's plain badness.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"If it hurts you to be harsh with someone, then that's being cruel to be kind.

If you it doesn't bother you to be harsh with someone, then that's heartless.

If you enjoy being harsh with someone, then that's plain badness."

Good post.

It would be interesting to know how many forumites have either used this type of behaviour on someone else or been on the receiving end.

How did it make you feel ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you asking our opinion on you being heartless, or ourselves?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a time to be cruel to be kind. And its not the same as heartless.

The person being cruel very often carries the same hurt but for a reason.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Totally different traits.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


" There is a time to be cruel to be kind. And its not the same as heartless.

The person being cruel very often carries the same hurt but for a reason. "

Nah ........ he said 'Cruel to be Kind' ......

That's a different intent to 'cruel' OR 'kind' ....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I've had to be heartless a couple of times in my life for my own sake.

If you're doing something for an eventual good outcome it isn't cruel, it's just the adult thing to do

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Do you stay in touch with these people ? If yes or No, why ?

Did you think it was the adult thing to do in explaining your reasons ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think these are definitely different things, I'm definitely not heartless. When it comes to cruel to be kind, think a bit of tact and mindfulness is needed as can come across as being heartless.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Do you stay in touch with these people ? If yes or No, why ?

Did you think it was the adult thing to do in explaining your reasons ? "

I don't stay in touch with these people, the heartless thing I did was to cut them out of my life completely. They deserved it.

I didn't make myself clear. I think being heartless is different to being cruel to be kind. Sometimes when you're a parent for instance or a good friend you have to tell someone something they don't want to hear. That's the adult thing to do in some circumstances and isn't cruel because it's not done from spite or malice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Do you stay in touch with these people ? If yes or No, why ?

Did you think it was the adult thing to do in explaining your reasons ?

I don't stay in touch with these people, the heartless thing I did was to cut them out of my life completely. They deserved it.

I didn't make myself clear. I think being heartless is different to being cruel to be kind. Sometimes when you're a parent for instance or a good friend you have to tell someone something they don't want to hear. That's the adult thing to do in some circumstances and isn't cruel because it's not done from spite or malice. "

I follow you. When you have children you have to be cruel to be kind at times.

My question was more relationship related with a partner.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Do you stay in touch with these people ? If yes or No, why ?

Did you think it was the adult thing to do in explaining your reasons ?

I don't stay in touch with these people, the heartless thing I did was to cut them out of my life completely. They deserved it.

I didn't make myself clear. I think being heartless is different to being cruel to be kind. Sometimes when you're a parent for instance or a good friend you have to tell someone something they don't want to hear. That's the adult thing to do in some circumstances and isn't cruel because it's not done from spite or malice.

I follow you. When you have children you have to be cruel to be kind at times.

My question was more relationship related with a partner. "

I think with a partner you need to look at yourself before you make any comment and unless your relationship is about to collapse there's never an excuse to be hard hearted and there's certainly never a reason to be cruel, thats a horrible word.

When I left my first husband I deliberately made myself heartless because he was devastated but he deserved to be devastated.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Do you stay in touch with these people ? If yes or No, why ?

Did you think it was the adult thing to do in explaining your reasons ?

I don't stay in touch with these people, the heartless thing I did was to cut them out of my life completely. They deserved it.

I didn't make myself clear. I think being heartless is different to being cruel to be kind. Sometimes when you're a parent for instance or a good friend you have to tell someone something they don't want to hear. That's the adult thing to do in some circumstances and isn't cruel because it's not done from spite or malice.

I follow you. When you have children you have to be cruel to be kind at times.

My question was more relationship related with a partner.

I think with a partner you need to look at yourself before you make any comment and unless your relationship is about to collapse there's never an excuse to be hard hearted and there's certainly never a reason to be cruel, thats a horrible word.

When I left my first husband I deliberately made myself heartless because he was devastated but he deserved to be devastated."

Thank you for the contribution

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