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Ghosting

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By *hockhorror OP   Woman
over a year ago

Tamworth

When would you say ghosting/ignoring someone is right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you wanna do it.

It’s right for you, but maybe not for them.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Never, frankly. Be honest about what they've done, and why you've changed your mind

It's happened to me recently and I'm a bit over sensitive about these things...

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By *hockhorror OP   Woman
over a year ago

Tamworth

It’s not me doing it, personally I believe in being an adult and discussing things. Especially with someone that you’re seeing.

Just wanted male perspective over it?

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

Honestly, it's not. It's a shitty cowards way to go about things.

Be upfront and honest.

If somebody won't take that as final, then cease all communication. But just skipping to directly ignoring and acting like that person does not exist is just shitty, bad manners and highly disrespectful and says quite a lot about who you are as a person.

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By *aige675Woman
over a year ago

North of London

Depends on the situation. I've had people not contact me for weeks after a meet and then appear from no where, so it's not always ghosting. People have stuff going on in their lives. True there are those that disappear without an explanation but if you spent forever dwelling on it you might miss out on other great people. It does suck, especially if you really liked that person or persons but you can't be everyone's cup of tea. Worry less, look for more.

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By *hockhorror OP   Woman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Thank you.

This is exactly what I needed to read, as I feel the same. It’s completely disrespectful towards the person you were spending time with and talking to.

Just wish more guys see it like you.

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

in general, to avoid an inevitable argument, or emotionally upsetting situation

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By *hockhorror OP   Woman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Totally depends on the situation, I understand after say one meet or one date but when you’ve been “dating” the person for 6months seeing them a few times a week and talking to them daily I believe that being straight up ignored and ghosted isn’t right. It’s disrespectful.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

It’s never ok. It’s cowardly. If someone wants to stop messaging they should say that it’s over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve ghosted people before. People I know in real life.

Why?

Because I’ve spoken to them. I’ve explained how I feel. Nothing changed. I couldn’t have them in my life, for my mental health. I tried explaining, but no. They wouldn’t listen. Ghosting was the only option.

Obviously trying to communicate is the most mature thing to do, but it’s not always possible.

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By *hockhorror OP   Woman
over a year ago

Tamworth

Exactly. It isn’t difficult, it’s closure for you both

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By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

It’s pathetic. Yet common... go figure..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Honestly, it's not. It's a shitty cowards way to go about things.

Be upfront and honest.

If somebody won't take that as final, then cease all communication. But just skipping to directly ignoring and acting like that person does not exist is just shitty, bad manners and highly disrespectful and says quite a lot about who you are as a person. "

Exactly this

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

Personally I hate it.

I’ll try and talk and explain things. But sometimes people won’t listen or take no for an answer. That’s when the block button will be hit.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Totally depends on the situation, I understand after say one meet or one date but when you’ve been “dating” the person for 6months seeing them a few times a week and talking to them daily I believe that being straight up ignored and ghosted isn’t right. It’s disrespectful. "

I'd say that's bang out of order!

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling


"I’ve ghosted people before. People I know in real life.

Why?

Because I’ve spoken to them. I’ve explained how I feel. Nothing changed. I couldn’t have them in my life, for my mental health. I tried explaining, but no. They wouldn’t listen. Ghosting was the only option.

Obviously trying to communicate is the most mature thing to do, but it’s not always possible. "

That's not ghosting. You gave feedback and reasons for how you feel, they ignored that.

Ghosting is no indication that there is a problem, and just dissappearing from all forms of communication with them. As if there was no prior communication and they don't or never existed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say this every time this topic comes up and I sound like a stick record but one woman's ghosting is another man's blocking a creepy stalking mofo who has no sense of self awareness....

Of course there are shades of grey and ppl will be cunts in many ways, it's human nature, and wicked ghosting I guess could be a thing, but it's about perspective, if someone wishes no contact with you why not respect it regardless of what your perception of what you had with them was. Nobody is owed anything in life....

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Ghosting is never acceptable.

We are on an adult site so surely we can all act lie adults. If people change their minds for whatever reason, then they should be mature and decent enough to tell the other people. You don't have to give a reason but the least you can do is say 'sorry this isn't working out for us' or something similar.

People just need to be a little kind in life. It's really not difficult.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham


"I’ve ghosted people before. People I know in real life.

Why?

Because I’ve spoken to them. I’ve explained how I feel. Nothing changed. I couldn’t have them in my life, for my mental health. I tried explaining, but no. They wouldn’t listen. Ghosting was the only option.

Obviously trying to communicate is the most mature thing to do, but it’s not always possible. "

That isn't ghosting. You've explained to them.

Ghosting is just disappearing without giving any inclination you aren't happy or that something has changed. Just cutting all communication abrubtly and without warning and giving no reason or sign is ghosting.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I say this every time this topic comes up and I sound like a stick record but one woman's ghosting is another man's blocking a creepy stalking mofo who has no sense of self awareness....

Of course there are shades of grey and ppl will be cunts in many ways, it's human nature, and wicked ghosting I guess could be a thing, but it's about perspective, if someone wishes no contact with you why not respect it regardless of what your perception of what you had with them was. Nobody is owed anything in life.... "

I would respect their wishes to cut me out of their life...so be it!

But...to walk away after sharing 'something' without a bye or leave is a bit much!

Agree, there are can be many of shades of grey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women get bombed with messages on here so I can understand if they don't reply.

However it still gets to me sometimes after I've sent a long well written message stating what they require in the profile.

I guess it's all about the cock being attached to the right man at the right time for women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not for me. We are all adults and the ghoster should bring up what the problem is and either talk it through or just say it's not working.

Then again if someone ghosts me they are probably not for me anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I say this every time this topic comes up and I sound like a stick record but one woman's ghosting is another man's blocking a creepy stalking mofo who has no sense of self awareness....

Of course there are shades of grey and ppl will be cunts in many ways, it's human nature, and wicked ghosting I guess could be a thing, but it's about perspective, if someone wishes no contact with you why not respect it regardless of what your perception of what you had with them was. Nobody is owed anything in life....

I would respect their wishes to cut me out of their life...so be it!

But...to walk away after sharing 'something' without a bye or leave is a bit much!

Agree, there are can be many of shades of grey

"

I don't think full on ghosting happens often though! I'd agree it's wrong I'd no attempt has been made to explain why, I think often ppl don't accept that someone wants to leave though and then they complain unfairly of being ghosted.

Also if someone does ghost another person, then that person clearly didn't know them well enough to know what was going on in their lives for them to do so, so in a way they had nothing even if it seemed like something amazing at the time. I think it needs reflection and perspective and when ppl are heartbroken things get skewed....

Plus, if we're talking fab - it's a casual sex site for some and a marriage bureau for others - often a catastrophic mix.....

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"I say this every time this topic comes up and I sound like a stick record but one woman's ghosting is another man's blocking a creepy stalking mofo who has no sense of self awareness....

Of course there are shades of grey and ppl will be cunts in many ways, it's human nature, and wicked ghosting I guess could be a thing, but it's about perspective, if someone wishes no contact with you why not respect it regardless of what your perception of what you had with them was. Nobody is owed anything in life....

I would respect their wishes to cut me out of their life...so be it!

But...to walk away after sharing 'something' without a bye or leave is a bit much!

Agree, there are can be many of shades of grey

I don't think full on ghosting happens often though! I'd agree it's wrong I'd no attempt has been made to explain why, I think often ppl don't accept that someone wants to leave though and then they complain unfairly of being ghosted.

Also if someone does ghost another person, then that person clearly didn't know them well enough to know what was going on in their lives for them to do so, so in a way they had nothing even if it seemed like something amazing at the time. I think it needs reflection and perspective and when ppl are heartbroken things get skewed....

Plus, if we're talking fab - it's a casual sex site for some and a marriage bureau for others - often a catastrophic mix..... "

Yes Nippy...many shades of grey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gets me when a lady says something like this after a conversation "it was nice to chat with you, feel free to message me anytime you like!"

Only to ignore me the next time lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I say this every time this topic comes up and I sound like a stick record but one woman's ghosting is another man's blocking a creepy stalking mofo who has no sense of self awareness....

Of course there are shades of grey and ppl will be cunts in many ways, it's human nature, and wicked ghosting I guess could be a thing, but it's about perspective, if someone wishes no contact with you why not respect it regardless of what your perception of what you had with them was. Nobody is owed anything in life....

I would respect their wishes to cut me out of their life...so be it!

But...to walk away after sharing 'something' without a bye or leave is a bit much!

Agree, there are can be many of shades of grey

I don't think full on ghosting happens often though! I'd agree it's wrong I'd no attempt has been made to explain why, I think often ppl don't accept that someone wants to leave though and then they complain unfairly of being ghosted.

Also if someone does ghost another person, then that person clearly didn't know them well enough to know what was going on in their lives for them to do so, so in a way they had nothing even if it seemed like something amazing at the time. I think it needs reflection and perspective and when ppl are heartbroken things get skewed....

Plus, if we're talking fab - it's a casual sex site for some and a marriage bureau for others - often a catastrophic mix.....

Yes Nippy...many shades of grey "

I think this year has probably skewed peoples reactions to "ghosting" more than normal as our emotions and brains are all over the place.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Gets me when a lady says something like this after a conversation "it was nice to chat with you, feel free to message me anytime you like!"

Only to ignore me the next time lol "

That's easy done tbh.

I've done it. I may have seen a message meant to get back to it and just never got round to it.

Then the message is lost or momentum can be lost. Or your just preoccupied with life at that moment to reply

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North


"When would you say ghosting/ignoring someone is right? "

When the other person is being a twat. Then they deserve to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gets me when a lady says something like this after a conversation "it was nice to chat with you, feel free to message me anytime you like!"

Only to ignore me the next time lol

That's easy done tbh.

I've done it. I may have seen a message meant to get back to it and just never got round to it.

Then the message is lost or momentum can be lost. Or your just preoccupied with life at that moment to reply "

Oh, yes I never have that problem and I just pounce on the yellow boxes lol

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38


"Gets me when a lady says something like this after a conversation "it was nice to chat with you, feel free to message me anytime you like!"

Only to ignore me the next time lol

That's easy done tbh.

I've done it. I may have seen a message meant to get back to it and just never got round to it.

Then the message is lost or momentum can be lost. Or your just preoccupied with life at that moment to reply

Oh, yes I never have that problem and I just pounce on the yellow boxes lol "

I have recently blocked men and now messages are so much easier to manage.

I would never like to come across as intentionally ignorant to those I may have shared a message with but I'm sure that I may have done. It doesn’t feel good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Easy to know when someone doesn’t want to talk to you.

If there is no reply to my message I don’t mind sending another one like a day later. Everyone is busy with their lives and might have forgot or had trouble replying.

If I get nothing back from that then I consider it case closed! Not only are you harassing someone who doesn’t want to chat but also I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself by constantly messaging haha

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"

Plus, if we're talking fab - it's a casual sex site for some and a marriage bureau for others - often a catastrophic mix..... "

Great phrase Nippy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gets me when a lady says something like this after a conversation "it was nice to chat with you, feel free to message me anytime you like!"

Only to ignore me the next time lol

That's easy done tbh.

I've done it. I may have seen a message meant to get back to it and just never got round to it.

Then the message is lost or momentum can be lost. Or your just preoccupied with life at that moment to reply

Oh, yes I never have that problem and I just pounce on the yellow boxes lol

I have recently blocked men and now messages are so much easier to manage.

I would never like to come across as intentionally ignorant to those I may have shared a message with but I'm sure that I may have done. It doesn’t feel good

"

Awe I can't speak for everyone but I always thought you were lovely

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

It's a shitty thing to do if it's someone you've been getting on well with for a while and then they just out of nowhere ghost you, it's happened to me a few times in the past. Usually it turned out someone better had come along and caught their eye but it would be better to have been told rather than mourning over it for ages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm the opposite of a ghoster. I am so bad at getting out of conversations I don't really want to be in anymore that I'll probably end up married at some point, because I felt too bad saying I didn't want to!

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch


"I think I'm the opposite of a ghoster. I am so bad at getting out of conversations I don't really want to be in anymore that I'll probably end up married at some point, because I felt too bad saying I didn't want to! "

Darling! I love you. Marry me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I'm the opposite of a ghoster. I am so bad at getting out of conversations I don't really want to be in anymore that I'll probably end up married at some point, because I felt too bad saying I didn't want to!

Darling! I love you. Marry me! "

Might actually take you up on that based on the jokes in the other thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's a shitty thing to do if it's someone you've been getting on well with for a while and then they just out of nowhere ghost you, it's happened to me a few times in the past. Usually it turned out someone better had come along and caught their eye but it would be better to have been told rather than mourning over it for ages. "

I agree with this. I do think the web lets people forget there are real people behind the screen and being ghosted without explanation is more akin to the actions of small children than adults.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think I'm the opposite of a ghoster. I am so bad at getting out of conversations I don't really want to be in anymore that I'll probably end up married at some point, because I felt too bad saying I didn't want to!

Darling! I love you. Marry me!

Might actually take you up on that based on the jokes in the other thread "

Only joke I can see is why aren’t you already married!?

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch


"I think I'm the opposite of a ghoster. I am so bad at getting out of conversations I don't really want to be in anymore that I'll probably end up married at some point, because I felt too bad saying I didn't want to!

Darling! I love you. Marry me!

Might actually take you up on that based on the jokes in the other thread "

See, make 'em laugh - works every time

Taxi to Glasgow, please!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shit happens. Its fab!

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