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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Gorgeous fat fucker fem seeks tall man, goegeous on the inside.

Your turn.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Bi and large seeks hot, hard and horny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tall toned and slightly hairy seeks interesting woman with gaping fairy.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Unhinged yet honest, may snap neck of idiots

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Loquacious seeks bodacious.

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By *r.HMan
over a year ago

A gentleman never tells

1 bed flat wanted

£600 pcm

Must be close to major commuting routes.

Oh hang on, wrong advert

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two Hopes. Bob and none

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Short, middle aged man seeks random hole to cock punch.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Tall toned and slightly hairy seeks interesting woman with gaping fairy."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Unhinged yet honest, may snap neck of idiots "

brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fat dumpling looking for sexy funny older guy

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Dizzy blonde with long legs to wrap around your neck.x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Loquacious seeks bodacious. "

Award for succinct

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By *irth VaderMan
over a year ago

glasgow

17” neck seeks long legs to keep it warm

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Idiot seeks similar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Total gent with a penchant for being a bit of a bastard in the bedroom seeks rope bunny for meaningful weekend long relationship...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Idiot seeks similar "

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

Skinny Minnie seeks tall meaty opposite

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Short round fem seeks tall square man x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happy Couple looking for lady to satisfy hubby x

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By *nto My ArmsMan
over a year ago

Herts/London

Dwarf seems midget

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Short round fem seeks tall square man x"

Sounds like the Mister Men books.

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By *enn68Man
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Tall gent seeks filthy lady !

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Tantric fanatic seeks playcocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sweet strange jiggly woman seeking random conversations and cute dicks.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Sweet strange jiggly woman seeking random conversations and cute dicks. "

Works for me

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"Unhinged yet honest, may snap neck of idiots "

That's actually perfect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tall fat ugly balding scotsman seeks an ass spanking.

apply within

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Short round fem seeks tall square man x"

Square pegs dont fit round holes? didnt you learn anything as a kid?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cracking little couple after single men!

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By *arksxMan
over a year ago

Leicester / London


"Short, middle aged man seeks random hole to cock punch."

90% of the make population on fab right?

Just needs "will treat (her) well"

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Short round fem seeks tall square man x

Sounds like the Mister Men books. "

The stories we would create would not be PG ones x

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By *RSTCouple
over a year ago

S. Northants

Naughty wife looking to watch hubby with another lady.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Despite it in any other circumstances being a negative. i will very much me all mouth and no trousers

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Short round fem seeks tall square man x

Sounds like the Mister Men books.

The stories we would create would not be PG ones x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unconvincing transvestite seeks anyone who'll have her.

Bring winegums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unconvincing transvestite seeks anyone who'll have her.

Bring winegums. "

on my way to the shop now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unconvincing transvestite seeks anyone who'll have her.

Bring winegums.

on my way to the shop now "

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By *ikerdude2017Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

BWC Horny guy looking for Fun with Bi couple.

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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

Big spoon looking for little spoon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kinky pair into restraints and wips seeks others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Panthera seeks scratching post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Middle-aged introvert would rather not meet anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Booby geek with fucked up sense of humour and a very short attention span seeks strong, funny weirdos for no strings fantasy encounters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seeks man with pulse

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

Bi tv 4 ac/dc sub/domme s/m fem rsvp plse .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Booby geek with fucked up sense of humour and a very short attention span seeks strong, funny weirdos for no strings fantasy encounters. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Booby geek with fucked up sense of humour and a very short attention span seeks strong, funny weirdos for no strings fantasy encounters. "

*lets his inner weirdo out*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fat, ugly bloke looking for FUN or chat.

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By *oxyvixen99Woman
over a year ago

Newtownabbey

Married with permission seeks bubble partner for fun times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bald, hazy, laid back not lazy. Wants hot sex and cuddles

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

Man seeks little spoon. 1 short of a full set.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

150% British beef requires nice lady for cuddles. Lady with blue underwear preferred, but not essential.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Horny couple who love to tease and to be teased

D.

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

Short arse who's good in bed, try me

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By *lder funCouple
over a year ago

tottenham

Ageing pussy,needs a good home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scottish Male seeks woman for pegging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Short arse who's good in bed, try me "

Do you have a scratching post ???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolute Dipshit looking for similar dipshit for being a dipshits together

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By *umalotagainMan
over a year ago

a town called malice

Kinky Old bald Scotsman seeks Hot woman for discreet fun and restraint

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Tall, relatively filthy man seeks woman who is pleasantly crackers for above average sex

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!


"Short arse who's good in bed, try me

Do you have a scratching post ??? "

You won't need a scratching post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Socially distanced male seeks a socially distanced build up to a close and personal climax.

(When the time is right)

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I put the average into average but I make a lovely bacon and fried egg butty

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

Clumsy lady seeks man who doesn’t bruise easily to love her.

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By *tingly ByronMan
over a year ago

In a town Fab forgot


"Gorgeous fat fucker fem seeks tall man, goegeous on the inside.

Your turn. "

I "may" have posted these on one of my threads before;

Paul Coia look a like seeks companion for long walks and dining out, for platonic friendship only, no sex (except anal)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

North Sockford man, good looking professional type age 34, WLTM genuinely caring lady who will not swallow my heart whole and then shit it out in a raging bonfire of spite.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sporty fit attractive female seeks lumpy disastrous "all over in two minutes" mid-life crisis sufferer for short to mid term relationship.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spoon seeks flag. This sounds odd. So does baked Alaska.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Woman placing advert seeks man responsive to advert.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Man dressed as snail, GSOH, likes classical music, seeks woman dressed as patio.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gingerbread man seeks gingerbread lady. Must be single, over 8" and made of gingerbread.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Victorian slattern, fallen woman. Carnal smorgasbord extraordinaire, I will manipulate you to leisurely issue, no hasty pudding.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

120 single men seek at least three women (must be single) for swinging. No more wooden legs please.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I look nothing like my photo, I am a pig-eyed horse frightener with an electronic part.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

7' 6" man seeks 1' 2" woman to shove up bum. Only possible with these lengths. Feet first though, no kinky stuff.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Unusual Milford woman early 40's, shaped like a keyhole, seeks genuine man with big round head and narrow body that widens into a triangle towards his huge flat feet. Resemblance to keyhole unimportant.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tall slim woman from Codge seeks quiet petite portable man with carrying handles and little wheels.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vivacious/vacuous woman, never known which one was which, WLTM local man with no fear of commitment/communards, never known which one was which.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Quiet shy lady from Urling, aged 42, looks unimportant, actually very important, so pay attention!!! To me you are a mere mote of dust on the collar of God. Mountains quake at my approach. Likes eating out, romantic walks in the country and romantic novels.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fun seeking F, own parrot WLTM treasure seeking pirate. Likes cinema, map reading and long romantic walks up the plank. Yarl be sorry..........

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Very oily lady wishes to slip into your life.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Straight curious man from Codge seeks straight Codge man for straight gay relationship. No funny stuff. None of that!!! You people make me sick.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Male 32, own house and car seeks big affectionate breasts for fun and friendship. Woman attached to breasts need not be anything special.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Genuine lesbian, usual description, seeks two other lesbians with long blonde hair to do things in front of me while I watch. Honestly I'm a real lesbian. Call Dave or Malcolm on **** ********

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Male 39, positively charged personality seeks negatively charged woman without fillings, jewellery or pacemaker for nights in stuck to the fridge.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I love dancing but have no legs. Maybe you have legs but hate dancing. Together I could ride you to happiness.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Stephen King fan, gothic female 36. Brown hair, into cinema and reading books seeks nice gently guy for tying to the bed and breaking his fucking ankles. Maybe more..........

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Single mum age 32. Enjoys being single, so fuck off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Bottom of Alfriston canal. You were drowning, I was trying to retrieve my shopping trolley, hence I was a bit distracted. Do you still need saving?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Attractive separated sporty man. Very sporty sport, likes sport. Looking for sporty sport who likes sport. How many words am I allowed? 25. ok. Sport.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Caring sensitive genuine male. Likes opera, reading books, quiet romantic nights in, cooking, going to the theatres, walking hand in hand through the countryside, visiting museums and gallery's, art and literature. Old fashioned gentleman. Show me your tits.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Attractive professional male 46, seeks fun woman for fun in June 1973. It may seem like a long time ago, but I'm optimistic.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

*courtesy of the Framley Examiner

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Clumsy lady seeks man who doesn’t bruise easily to love her."

Would you settle for a guy who will just adore you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bald 'n' bearded seeks similar female

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"Clumsy lady seeks man who doesn’t bruise easily to love her.

Would you settle for a guy who will just adore you? "

I’d be honoured

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Clumsy lady seeks man who doesn’t bruise easily to love her.

Would you settle for a guy who will just adore you?

I’d be honoured "

So should any guy.

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By *umalotagainMan
over a year ago

a town called malice


"Clumsy lady seeks man who doesn’t bruise easily to love her."

Don’t bruise me I won’t bruise you

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Reliable good runner requires new filter.

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By *ingfisher740Man
over a year ago

birmingham

Horny guy seeking real woman stretch mark and cellulite an advantage but not deal breaker for fun and share exploring sexual desires together

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

Ginger seeking female to help apply factor 1000 suncream,

Free Sandwiches,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cougar seeks prey

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara


"Cougar seeks prey"
that will work

Every time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Muscle bound fool looking for petite sub

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cougar seeks prey that will work

Every time"

Yes, yes it does

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Short, middle aged man seeks random hole to cock punch."

Say what you like, but although this profile pic is of a cock, it actually made me laugh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

6 feet, muscular, beard, dreadlocs looking for slim or average white women for fwb, ons, but most importantly nsa fun x

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By *ooking4othersMan
over a year ago

Here ...

Cake ... I have cake .... willing to trade

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By *umalotagainMan
over a year ago

a town called malice

Bloke with high hopes seeks woman Sight low expectations

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara


"Cougar seeks prey that will work

Every time

Yes, yes it does"

I knew it

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

.

Boobs seeks hard and horny to take control, bring the missus too

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Seeks man with pulse"

You deserve so much more

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Fat, hairy fucker seeks none-too-fussy woman

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Tall, relatively filthy man seeks woman who is pleasantly crackers for above average sex "

An addendum: needs shower installing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little and large seek squirting adventure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many previous & not too careful owners but still going strong seeks new driver with a sense of adventure

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Clumsy (very intelligent) lady seeks man who doesn’t bruise easily to love her."

FTFY

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Old but functioning seek people who get it.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"Clumsy (very intelligent) lady seeks man who doesn’t bruise easily to love her.

FTFY "

Awwwww

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"Old but functioning seek people who get it. "

You’d get it.

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

Man seeking lady (poor eyesight) an advantage for fun.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Bald 'n' bearded seeks similar female "

Hmmm you might get a lady responding if she has alopecia or hirsutism, not necessarily at the same time tho.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soldier, pinned down, require immediate reinforcements

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Old but functioning seek people who get it.

You’d get it. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Man seeking lady (poor eyesight) an advantage for fun.

"

Ladies, leave your glasses at home

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By *addyBabygirl2020Couple
over a year ago

norwich

Dont bother replying to this advert as we will probably ignore you unless your hot, polite, funny, heavy cummer and willing to be used as a sex toy

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"Tall, relatively filthy man seeks woman who is pleasantly crackers for above average sex

An addendum: needs shower installing "

I have one we can share

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By *ubmissive guyMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Old, ugly, useless guy, with no dick. Seeks pussy to lick ONO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

4' bed for sale, would suit small child or amputee.

Offers

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By *aul1973HullMan
over a year ago

East Hull

Male agoraphobic sociophobe seeks opposite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

looking to fuck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Tall, relatively filthy man seeks woman who is pleasantly crackers for above average sex

An addendum: needs shower installing

I have one we can share "

the add-on was for the needs of the filthy man

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By *layful HarlequinMan
over a year ago

iver heath

Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24+ year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Bald 'n' bearded seeks similar female

Hmmm you might get a lady responding if she has alopecia or hirsutism, not necessarily at the same time tho. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cunt. Arse. Twat. Piss. Crocodile. Tourette's sufferer seeks girlfriend.

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"4' bed for sale, would suit small child or amputee.

Offers"

I would.

No thanks to the creepy bed tho.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pick me, pick me... Annoying AF

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By *athan 123Man
over a year ago

rochdale oldham border

Tall ish professional sexy guy with good body Looking for sexy female with great sense of humour and fabulous bum for fun times can travel , message me or fab my pictures or just wink

Ta very much oh ps I can travel x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Old broken fella. OHAC (own hat and coat) and GSOH (goat scent on hands).

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

Short male seeks even shorter female. Oh I thought I said short persons ads

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"Pick me, pick me... Annoying AF "

“Desperate female seeks... anyone really”

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By *ucklingsCouple
over a year ago

Rugby

Happy couple seeks others for fun and frolics

PS: Mrs D seeks females for friendship and fun, hubby is happy for me doing this by myself

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By *icearmsMan
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

Man has wand.. cab travel or accommodate

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By *arklordMan
over a year ago

rugeley

male 12" tongue and with the ability to breath through is ass seeks female

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tetchy techie with dadbod needs attention too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Pick me, pick me... Annoying AF

“Desperate female seeks... anyone really” "

Block, delete, move on

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By *r.HMan
over a year ago

A gentleman never tells

Short arse, tattooed arse, smart arse seeks similar for romantic retreats and some debauchery to boot

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By *arpePinguisWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Fat birds likes going on top. If you die, you die

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Short arsed dad bod man seeks stocking clad lady for fun...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Cunt. Arse. Twat. Piss. Crocodile. Tourette's sufferer seeks girlfriend."

Never a dull moment

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fat birds likes going on top. If you die, you die"

I'm sure many will risk it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Tall ish professional sexy guy with good body Looking for sexy female with great sense of humour and fabulous bum for fun times can travel , message me or fab my pictures or just wink

Ta very much oh ps I can travel x"

And the anti-award for succinct ad goes to...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Under used fem with filthy imagination seeks tall man who can deliver food, wine and flowers or preferably copious amounts of said filthy sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bike buddy wanted for hoots and hydration jelly babies guaranteed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

listens to rock and country music.

book reader, good time keeper.

inspired by alan watts and Sadhguru

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Invisible runner seeks local

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By *ate_BMan
over a year ago

London

'Kiss and tell' looking for a 'shag and shout'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kind hearted jester seeks good kisser with boobs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Angel in the north requires filthy devil to assist with halo polishing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Woman who can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy seeks a guy who knows the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. No time wasters please.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Angel in the north requires filthy devil to assist with halo polishing "

Loving it

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By *ark ph0enixWoman
over a year ago

Teesside

Looks better in a photo seeks the rare fabber who neither ghosts or stalks. Looking for something in between please

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

Looking for a regular to do daily missions to satisfy my sexual needs both in and out of the bedroom, it doesnt have to be sex everyday, like on monday lots of kissing, tuesday dress up very sexy with a massage, wednesday could be a bj day thursday full sex and so on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unhinged yet honest, may snap neck of idiots "

Or neck of dildo if angry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Massive titted Oompa Loompa with minge as wide as a barn door seeks pencil dicked skanky and unwashed git git for stomach churning sexy nights in or outside in the pigpen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Booby geek with fucked up sense of humour and a very short attention span seeks strong, funny weirdos for no strings fantasy encounters. "

Oh that was me . Still right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Little lady requires large cock with banter to match.. apply within

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By *_DirectorMan
over a year ago

Middle of somewhere

Articulate Irish man seeks a female for dark adventures ..

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Dumpling seeks beef.

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By *RSTCouple
over a year ago

S. Northants

Bi couple looking so she can watch him play.

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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago

Solihull and Brentwood

Looking for:

A tall well-built woman with good

reputation, who can cook frogs,

legs, who appreciates a good fuc-

shia garden clasical music and tal

king without getting too serious.

But please only read lines 1,3 & 6

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

Chunky but funky male seeks whatever you’re prepared to give

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheeky little lady who seeks a brute to redden the cheeks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me. You?

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Sex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tall toned and slightly hairy seeks interesting woman with gaping fairy."

That brought back memories.

You’d never believe it worked!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bi male for male half of married couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight guy seeking fellow horror movie fan!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aging, unconvincing transvestite seeks compliments

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