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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land

So there's been a few different threads about people's perceptions of others. I believe it's normal for us to notice differences in each other, how we deal with that information is the important bit. But this ISN'T an OP about that.

It's about deviance from social norms, what is it about you that nonconformist? Do you hide your deviance from the norm or are they obvious by the way you choose to dress for example?

What's different about you?

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

My main social norm difference Is I am poly and like having sex with various male partners, real life it is hidden as its my buisness.

But on here there are a few like minded souls I can chat to about the lifestyle

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

We're just deviants all round

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land

Was thinking about social norms whilst making a cuppa as you do. Since covid hand shaking is now not a social norm and to be honest I don't miss it.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Oh Christ where do I start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the type of person that every one assumes is very normal and very innocent on the surface.

I like giving out that perception as I'm a very private person and get off on the thought people don't know the real me.

When really I have a true sexual deviant side which thanks to fab I've been able to explore.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights


"Oh Christ where do I start "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way I think and see the world and imagination.

I was my school years' weirdo.

I just didn't see things how anyone else saw them.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Polyamorous, kinky, latex designer, slightly on the alternative side, likes rock/metal music.

Personally a big one though is that I'm very much a head over heart person and work mostly on logic rather than emotion. I struggle to understand a lot of people's thought processes a lot as a result. Lots of things in life aren't very logical and therefore don't make much sense to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like fitting in

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Absolutely rule follower conformist here - except for my sex life! I think that's why people are so surprised. I kinda like having a secret deviant side

What about you, OP?

Mrs x

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land

Tend to speak my mind too much which doesn't always go down well. Though when I first met M he thought I was in his words square. He soon realised he was a bit wrong

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"My main social norm difference Is I am poly and like having sex with various male partners, real life it is hidden as its my buisness.

But on here there are a few like minded souls I can chat to about the lifestyle "

I think many of us hide your sexual differences.

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"We're just deviants all round "

Haha always good to hear

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"Oh Christ where do I start "

At the beginning?

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I'm the type of person that every one assumes is very normal and very innocent on the surface.

I like giving out that perception as I'm a very private person and get off on the thought people don't know the real me.

When really I have a true sexual deviant side which thanks to fab I've been able to explore.

"

That is the awesome thing about fab isn't it?

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"The way I think and see the world and imagination.

I was my school years' weirdo.

I just didn't see things how anyone else saw them."

I get you, big up for the weirdos they are my favourite kind of people

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"Polyamorous, kinky, latex designer, slightly on the alternative side, likes rock/metal music.

Personally a big one though is that I'm very much a head over heart person and work mostly on logic rather than emotion. I struggle to understand a lot of people's thought processes a lot as a result. Lots of things in life aren't very logical and therefore don't make much sense to me. "

Have you adapted the way you interact with people to "fit in" more or are you a screw it it's how I am deal with it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Absolutely rule follower conformist here - except for my sex life! I think that's why people are so surprised. I kinda like having a secret deviant side

What about you, OP?

Yep thats me in a nutshell

Mrs x"

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I like fitting in"

Don't we all? But it's surprising how many people hide aspects of themselves to fit in. If everyone ignored the social norms would life be different?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I like fitting in

Don't we all? But it's surprising how many people hide aspects of themselves to fit in. If everyone ignored the social norms would life be different? "

It would make brief interactions more difficult to negotiate and be rather chaotic I think

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I like fitting in

Don't we all? But it's surprising how many people hide aspects of themselves to fit in. If everyone ignored the social norms would life be different?

It would make brief interactions more difficult to negotiate and be rather chaotic I think "

True they do make to quicker interactions

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I'm atypical so I guess that's a deviance from the norm (by it's very definition )? Ermm, there are a few other things, Im kinky, poly.... an ethical slut. I don't think they are obvious until I disclose them to people - I'm quite well versed in hiding it and also, some things I'd rather folk don't know.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"Tend to speak my mind too much which doesn't always go down well. Though when I first met M he thought I was in his words square. He soon realised he was a bit wrong "

I think speaking your mind can have positives and negatives. Mr and I have a wee saying: "If you need to say a thing, say the thing." Finding the appropriate time can be more challenging though...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The way I think and see the world and imagination.

I was my school years' weirdo.

I just didn't see things how anyone else saw them."

I was told by an ex- that I was just being different for the sake of being different.

Which I thought was weird. If I wasn't different why would I want to be different.

Yes I can see someone else's point of view but my first thought is usually nowhere near like someone else's first thought...

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I'm atypical so I guess that's a deviance from the norm (by it's very definition )? Ermm, there are a few other things, Im kinky, poly.... an ethical slut. I don't think they are obvious until I disclose them to people - I'm quite well versed in hiding it and also, some things I'd rather folk don't know."

I was thinking of deviance by it's definition yes. It's a really interesting thought for me as I think the vast majority of people are deviants. It just depends on whether we disclose them or not

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"Tend to speak my mind too much which doesn't always go down well. Though when I first met M he thought I was in his words square. He soon realised he was a bit wrong

I think speaking your mind can have positives and negatives. Mr and I have a wee saying: "If you need to say a thing, say the thing." Finding the appropriate time can be more challenging though... "

Yeah I'm not always good at finding the appropriate time, tend to say it out loud regardless, as my boss has found out

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"Tend to speak my mind too much which doesn't always go down well. Though when I first met M he thought I was in his words square. He soon realised he was a bit wrong

I think speaking your mind can have positives and negatives. Mr and I have a wee saying: "If you need to say a thing, say the thing." Finding the appropriate time can be more challenging though...

Yeah I'm not always good at finding the appropriate time, tend to say it out loud regardless, as my boss has found out "

Ha ha! I'm the opposite, naturally I hang back but have got better at speaking up as I've got older. X

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"Tend to speak my mind too much which doesn't always go down well. Though when I first met M he thought I was in his words square. He soon realised he was a bit wrong

I think speaking your mind can have positives and negatives. Mr and I have a wee saying: "If you need to say a thing, say the thing." Finding the appropriate time can be more challenging though...

Yeah I'm not always good at finding the appropriate time, tend to say it out loud regardless, as my boss has found out

Ha ha! I'm the opposite, naturally I hang back but have got better at speaking up as I've got older. X"

Luckily my boss likes it, he's a spade is a spade kind of person x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My brain! I'm always being told I'm "on the spectrum" by people close to me - I don't think they mean it as an insult tbh but it seems a silly thing to say because, by definition, isn't everyone?

I do struggle with common thought mechanisms and tribalism though. I always want to pull everything apart and put it back together again and reach a solution that's not been arrived at yet. Often if I'm talking say politics, the ppl I'm talking to will already have decided the right answer before engaging and it's just a matter of them proving it to me or being upset because I don't yet agree with them. I want to reach a common agreement together though....

That probably makes no sense as usual, but anyway, have a great Wednesday....

Love you Frida!

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"The way I think and see the world and imagination.

I was my school years' weirdo.

I just didn't see things how anyone else saw them.

I was told by an ex- that I was just being different for the sake of being different.

Which I thought was weird. If I wasn't different why would I want to be different.

Yes I can see someone else's point of view but my first thought is usually nowhere near like someone else's first thought..."

See I find that manipulative behaviour. Everyone is different my way is of thinking is different to most, my ex did a similar kind of thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not massively fussed on alcohol so pubs aren’t of interest

Small talk is something I don’t really see the point of so I’m happy to sit quietly in a crowd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"...tribalism though."

I'm definetly not one for tribes. Never saw the point of team sports (or any sports) but if you do that's great. Never been a team player. Always wondered why would you cling to something so much even if it seems to be turning into a mess?

Definetly a lone wolfer...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Nothing. Very few of us are entirely unique or individual. We all have our tribe. The only person who I think comes close to really not giving two hoots about what other people think is Grayson Perry

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"My brain! I'm always being told I'm "on the spectrum" by people close to me - I don't think they mean it as an insult tbh but it seems a silly thing to say because, by definition, isn't everyone?

I do struggle with common thought mechanisms and tribalism though. I always want to pull everything apart and put it back together again and reach a solution that's not been arrived at yet. Often if I'm talking say politics, the ppl I'm talking to will already have decided the right answer before engaging and it's just a matter of them proving it to me or being upset because I don't yet agree with them. I want to reach a common agreement together though....

That probably makes no sense as usual, but anyway, have a great Wednesday....

Love you Frida! "

Funny that I get told the same about being on the spectrum. But a really amazing scientist I know, says every scientist is on the spectrum somewhere or another.

I see that in you, you don't tend to have a firm answer often. But again if you have a certain kind of brain, you are open to suggestions and analysis.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m not massively fussed on alcohol so pubs aren’t of interest

Small talk is something I don’t really see the point of so I’m happy to sit quietly in a crowd"

Hate small talk. It's OK for quick interactions but not for a night out - I need some meat on a conversation.

Happy to sit in a crowd observing everyone else. Happy to sit in silence with one other person. No need to fill the silence.

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I’m not massively fussed on alcohol so pubs aren’t of interest

Small talk is something I don’t really see the point of so I’m happy to sit quietly in a crowd"

I get you, it's odd that not drinking is considered strange. I like people watching too though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a scientist (so to speak) I have the scientific way of viewing of the world, but I also have my idealist side and how I’d like things to be. These can sometimes create cognitive dissonance

Aside from that, I’m not a big fan of the typical stuff a lot of guys like. Not bothered about cars or football.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m not massively fussed on alcohol so pubs aren’t of interest

Small talk is something I don’t really see the point of so I’m happy to sit quietly in a crowd

I get you, it's odd that not drinking is considered strange. I like people watching too though "

‘I’ll get the next round what are you having?’

‘I’ll have a Pepsi please?’

‘Really? Is that all?’

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"Nothing. Very few of us are entirely unique or individual. We all have our tribe. The only person who I think comes close to really not giving two hoots about what other people think is Grayson Perry"

But individuality is different to doing something outside the social norm I think? Like not shaking hands when it's offered, would be considered not abiding my social norms

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"As a scientist (so to speak) I have the scientific way of viewing of the world, but I also have my idealist side and how I’d like things to be. These can sometimes create cognitive dissonance

Aside from that, I’m not a big fan of the typical stuff a lot of guys like. Not bothered about cars or football. "

I get that too, I have my logical analytical side and my overly sensitive side, sometimes they don't marry.

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I’m not massively fussed on alcohol so pubs aren’t of interest

Small talk is something I don’t really see the point of so I’m happy to sit quietly in a crowd

I get you, it's odd that not drinking is considered strange. I like people watching too though

‘I’ll get the next round what are you having?’

‘I’ll have a Pepsi please?’

‘Really? Is that all?’

"

Think that's one that really should be thrown into room 101

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

We look alternative so there's that.

I am collared but most people just assume it's a fashion ch0ker. We don't discuss what we do sexually with friends and family but that's normal, I don't want to know what they get up to either

As for the handshaking, I (f) am so glad it's taboo now! I hate platonic touch especially from strangers. I hate handshaking and then greetings with a kiss/hug started becoming more popular and I hated that too.

I don't want to be touched by apparently I'm the arsehole if I refused. Now strangers stay away from me, it's blissful!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As a scientist (so to speak) I have the scientific way of viewing of the world, but I also have my idealist side and how I’d like things to be. These can sometimes create cognitive dissonance

Aside from that, I’m not a big fan of the typical stuff a lot of guys like. Not bothered about cars or football. "

Omg yesss football!!! I work with people and it's basically my job to make people like me and buy and sell my junk. While I respect people who follow football, I really can't understand the hysteria around football and who scored the third goal in Tottenham Vs Man U in xyz league in 1983 and who's transfer fee is how much and all that jazz, so I just don't do football at all unless maybe it's a world cup or something. I'm not saying people shouldn't like football btw. But my point is, when I walk into a business meeting with someone new and the first thing they say is "hi Steve I'm Mr XYZ, pleased to meet you, did you see the match last night?" and I then have to squirm and admit "sorry I don't follow football at all, who was playing?" and instantly I'm not a real man and building a rapport becomes difficult. I know theyre just trying to build a rapport themselves by asking so it's not really their fault, maybe just a little socially clumsy. Also if I'm out at dinner or whatever with guys who follow football, it's often difficult to be included, maybe my own fault for not liking what they like I fully accept, because I just don't know what language they're speaking when they talk football..... ..... I did genuinely consider following football at one time, purely to help me with my work, but when I thought about it it seemed so insincere and silly. I'll just be me, work a bit harder and charm ppl with my individuality I guess.....

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Polyamorous, kinky, latex designer, slightly on the alternative side, likes rock/metal music.

Personally a big one though is that I'm very much a head over heart person and work mostly on logic rather than emotion. I struggle to understand a lot of people's thought processes a lot as a result. Lots of things in life aren't very logical and therefore don't make much sense to me.

Have you adapted the way you interact with people to "fit in" more or are you a screw it it's how I am deal with it? "

I try but end up doing a of just accepting it is as it is as if I can't understand people as it doesn't compute in my brain then there's not a lot I can do. Often people don't understand me either as I often choose what is logically for the best, even if its really not what I want in my heart. So it works both ways.

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"We look alternative so there's that.

I am collared but most people just assume it's a fashion ch0ker. We don't discuss what we do sexually with friends and family but that's normal, I don't want to know what they get up to either

As for the handshaking, I (f) am so glad it's taboo now! I hate platonic touch especially from strangers. I hate handshaking and then greetings with a kiss/hug started becoming more popular and I hated that too.

I don't want to be touched by apparently I'm the arsehole if I refused. Now strangers stay away from me, it's blissful! "

Do like seeing people dressed in alternative clothing. And I also hide our sexual activity form others. Glad it's not just me that is happy with less contact with strangers

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"I'm atypical so I guess that's a deviance from the norm (by it's very definition )? Ermm, there are a few other things, Im kinky, poly.... an ethical slut. I don't think they are obvious until I disclose them to people - I'm quite well versed in hiding it and also, some things I'd rather folk don't know.

I was thinking of deviance by it's definition yes. It's a really interesting thought for me as I think the vast majority of people are deviants. It just depends on whether we disclose them or not "

I don't really see it as people being deviants (unless they are "extremes") because I think everyone has something that makes them uniquely them? I think that there are some aspects that are still frowned upon and we're more likely to hide them.

And as an aspie, not everyone is on the spectrum, it's one of my lazy expressions. I think it's what people say to explain any behaviour they say as being odd.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hide this lifestyle from everyone I know. I cannot afford to be compromised by someone else’s perception of my deviance and their indiscretion. In addition I like the fact that this is just for me - I do not do Facebook or other forms of social media so I do not feel the need to show everyone what I eat or how great my life is, not do I feel compelled to see theirs. I enjoy being a private individual and value that v highly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So there's been a few different threads about people's perceptions of others. I believe it's normal for us to notice differences in each other, how we deal with that information is the important bit. But this ISN'T an OP about that.

It's about deviance from social norms, what is it about you that nonconformist? Do you hide your deviance from the norm or are they obvious by the way you choose to dress for example?

What's different about you? "

Depends on who is saying what the norm is. I am same as some and different from others.

Probably the fact that I very rarely answer such a question with any information.

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool


"

Do like seeing people dressed in alternative clothing. And I also hide our sexual activity form others. Glad it's not just me that is happy with less contact with strangers "

There's a whole bunch of us who don't like to be touched but most don't mention it because it's not normal.

It was hell when I carried my little ones. Something about pregnancy makes people think they can grab you without warning or asking. Complete strangers!

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"So there's been a few different threads about people's perceptions of others. I believe it's normal for us to notice differences in each other, how we deal with that information is the important bit. But this ISN'T an OP about that.

It's about deviance from social norms, what is it about you that nonconformist? Do you hide your deviance from the norm or are they obvious by the way you choose to dress for example?

What's different about you?

Depends on who is saying what the norm is. I am same as some and different from others.

Probably the fact that I very rarely answer such a question with any information. "

Can't say I noticed

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"

Do like seeing people dressed in alternative clothing. And I also hide our sexual activity form others. Glad it's not just me that is happy with less contact with strangers

There's a whole bunch of us who don't like to be touched but most don't mention it because it's not normal.

It was hell when I carried my little ones. Something about pregnancy makes people think they can grab you without warning or asking. Complete strangers!"

So agree with you on this, people felt the need to invade my personal space because I was pregnant. Don't touch me and ask when I due, I don't even know you, grr rant over

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"As a scientist (so to speak) I have the scientific way of viewing of the world, but I also have my idealist side and how I’d like things to be. These can sometimes create cognitive dissonance

Aside from that, I’m not a big fan of the typical stuff a lot of guys like. Not bothered about cars or football. "

And I'm that woman CAN talk about football for hours, explain the offside rule (current and previous incarnations of) and also talk about a bunch of other things considered to be a "man's" thing. That got even more hilarious when my wheelchair was added into the mix

I've never had any issues with my teetotal-ism, but then again, my trips to pubs/bars (pre Covid) were only ever with S or colleagues who know me well. Ordering a G&T, pint of ale, glass of wine and a soya latte was a common Friday evening thing in Manchester for our little office of people. No-one batted an eyelid because they know me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The list is far too long... I guess its that I hide nothing about me..like it or move on and that Im closer to nature than I am to my own species..hence I have less than a handful of friends..I m used to being a drifter sorting my own road but get close to me and I will always have your back...no matter

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"The list is far too long... I guess its that I hide nothing about me..like it or move on and that Im closer to nature than I am to my own species..hence I have less than a handful of friends..I m used to being a drifter sorting my own road but get close to me and I will always have your back...no matter "

You have a long list? Well I never

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"As a scientist (so to speak) I have the scientific way of viewing of the world, but I also have my idealist side and how I’d like things to be. These can sometimes create cognitive dissonance

Aside from that, I’m not a big fan of the typical stuff a lot of guys like. Not bothered about cars or football.

And I'm that woman CAN talk about football for hours, explain the offside rule (current and previous incarnations of) and also talk about a bunch of other things considered to be a "man's" thing. That got even more hilarious when my wheelchair was added into the mix

I've never had any issues with my teetotal-ism, but then again, my trips to pubs/bars (pre Covid) were only ever with S or colleagues who know me well. Ordering a G&T, pint of ale, glass of wine and a soya latte was a common Friday evening thing in Manchester for our little office of people. No-one batted an eyelid because they know me. "

My sister is a massive formula 1 geek and it's funny when men presume she hasn't a clue, and she has far superior knowledge to them

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I'm completely normal. Absolutely nothing outside of the social norm here. Clearly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The list is far too long... I guess its that I hide nothing about me..like it or move on and that Im closer to nature than I am to my own species..hence I have less than a handful of friends..I m used to being a drifter sorting my own road but get close to me and I will always have your back...no matter

You have a long list? Well I never

"

Yeah which is a problem humping it around being a dwarf hobbit

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I'm completely normal. Absolutely nothing outside of the social norm here. Clearly. "

Missy your friends with me, think that's the definition of abnormal

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"The list is far too long... I guess its that I hide nothing about me..like it or move on and that Im closer to nature than I am to my own species..hence I have less than a handful of friends..I m used to being a drifter sorting my own road but get close to me and I will always have your back...no matter

You have a long list? Well I never

Yeah which is a problem humping it around being a dwarf hobbit "

Oh now see which are you a dwarf or a hobbit? These things are important in life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The list is far too long... I guess its that I hide nothing about me..like it or move on and that Im closer to nature than I am to my own species..hence I have less than a handful of friends..I m used to being a drifter sorting my own road but get close to me and I will always have your back...no matter

You have a long list? Well I never

Yeah which is a problem humping it around being a dwarf hobbit "

Actually are you saying Im complicated..moi?

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"The list is far too long... I guess its that I hide nothing about me..like it or move on and that Im closer to nature than I am to my own species..hence I have less than a handful of friends..I m used to being a drifter sorting my own road but get close to me and I will always have your back...no matter

You have a long list? Well I never

Yeah which is a problem humping it around being a dwarf hobbit

Actually are you saying Im complicated..moi? "

You no never

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm completely normal. Absolutely nothing outside of the social norm here. Clearly.

Missy your friends with me, think that's the definition of abnormal "

Good point. Does that make me mental?

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I'm completely normal. Absolutely nothing outside of the social norm here. Clearly.

Missy your friends with me, think that's the definition of abnormal

Good point. Does that make me mental? "

Yep totally to quote one of my favourite books

"Have I gone mad? I'm afraid so.

You're entirely Bonkers.

But I will tell you a secret,

All the best people are."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The list is far too long... I guess its that I hide nothing about me..like it or move on and that Im closer to nature than I am to my own species..hence I have less than a handful of friends..I m used to being a drifter sorting my own road but get close to me and I will always have your back...no matter

You have a long list? Well I never

Yeah which is a problem humping it around being a dwarf hobbit

Actually are you saying Im complicated..moi?

You no never "

Hence alone is best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My brain! I'm always being told I'm "on the spectrum" by people close to me - I don't think they mean it as an insult tbh but it seems a silly thing to say because, by definition, isn't everyone?

I do struggle with common thought mechanisms and tribalism though. I always want to pull everything apart and put it back together again and reach a solution that's not been arrived at yet. Often if I'm talking say politics, the ppl I'm talking to will already have decided the right answer before engaging and it's just a matter of them proving it to me or being upset because I don't yet agree with them. I want to reach a common agreement together though....

That probably makes no sense as usual, but anyway, have a great Wednesday....

Love you Frida!

Funny that I get told the same about being on the spectrum. But a really amazing scientist I know, says every scientist is on the spectrum somewhere or another.

I see that in you, you don't tend to have a firm answer often. But again if you have a certain kind of brain, you are open to suggestions and analysis. "

Genius twins, innit....

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"As a scientist (so to speak) I have the scientific way of viewing of the world, but I also have my idealist side and how I’d like things to be. These can sometimes create cognitive dissonance

Aside from that, I’m not a big fan of the typical stuff a lot of guys like. Not bothered about cars or football.

And I'm that woman CAN talk about football for hours, explain the offside rule (current and previous incarnations of) and also talk about a bunch of other things considered to be a "man's" thing. That got even more hilarious when my wheelchair was added into the mix

I've never had any issues with my teetotal-ism, but then again, my trips to pubs/bars (pre Covid) were only ever with S or colleagues who know me well. Ordering a G&T, pint of ale, glass of wine and a soya latte was a common Friday evening thing in Manchester for our little office of people. No-one batted an eyelid because they know me.

My sister is a massive formula 1 geek and it's funny when men presume she hasn't a clue, and she has far superior knowledge to them "

Its hilarious! People (on average) also assume that people in wheelchairs are mentally incapacitated and need to be spoken to in single syllable words, preferably as if you were addressing a very young child. Upon discovering wheelchair users can and do work (shock!), are managers/supervisors (is that wise?), can drive, play sport, talk about sport, go on holiday and, the piéce de resistance, have sex (), some folks really are baffled. The nurse at the first pre op appt this morning was baffled as to why I didn't need her to push me along into the hospital or that I could go in the lift unassisted. Fuck sake, I've normally got a 3yo strapped on my knee!

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"My brain! I'm always being told I'm "on the spectrum" by people close to me - I don't think they mean it as an insult tbh but it seems a silly thing to say because, by definition, isn't everyone?

I do struggle with common thought mechanisms and tribalism though. I always want to pull everything apart and put it back together again and reach a solution that's not been arrived at yet. Often if I'm talking say politics, the ppl I'm talking to will already have decided the right answer before engaging and it's just a matter of them proving it to me or being upset because I don't yet agree with them. I want to reach a common agreement together though....

That probably makes no sense as usual, but anyway, have a great Wednesday....

Love you Frida!

Funny that I get told the same about being on the spectrum. But a really amazing scientist I know, says every scientist is on the spectrum somewhere or another.

I see that in you, you don't tend to have a firm answer often. But again if you have a certain kind of brain, you are open to suggestions and analysis.

Genius twins, innit...."

Definitely, always open and always learning

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I'm completely normal. Absolutely nothing outside of the social norm here. Clearly.

Missy your friends with me, think that's the definition of abnormal

Good point. Does that make me mental?

Yep totally to quote one of my favourite books

"Have I gone mad? I'm afraid so.

You're entirely Bonkers.

But I will tell you a secret,

All the best people are."

"

I love it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

social distancing has been a blessing.

its keeping away all the people i never liked in the first place

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"As a scientist (so to speak) I have the scientific way of viewing of the world, but I also have my idealist side and how I’d like things to be. These can sometimes create cognitive dissonance

Aside from that, I’m not a big fan of the typical stuff a lot of guys like. Not bothered about cars or football.

And I'm that woman CAN talk about football for hours, explain the offside rule (current and previous incarnations of) and also talk about a bunch of other things considered to be a "man's" thing. That got even more hilarious when my wheelchair was added into the mix

I've never had any issues with my teetotal-ism, but then again, my trips to pubs/bars (pre Covid) were only ever with S or colleagues who know me well. Ordering a G&T, pint of ale, glass of wine and a soya latte was a common Friday evening thing in Manchester for our little office of people. No-one batted an eyelid because they know me.

My sister is a massive formula 1 geek and it's funny when men presume she hasn't a clue, and she has far superior knowledge to them

Its hilarious! People (on average) also assume that people in wheelchairs are mentally incapacitated and need to be spoken to in single syllable words, preferably as if you were addressing a very young child. Upon discovering wheelchair users can and do work (shock!), are managers/supervisors (is that wise?), can drive, play sport, talk about sport, go on holiday and, the piéce de resistance, have sex (), some folks really are baffled. The nurse at the first pre op appt this morning was baffled as to why I didn't need her to push me along into the hospital or that I could go in the lift unassisted. Fuck sake, I've normally got a 3yo strapped on my knee! "

That's just lazy stereotyping. I confess I know bog all about sport. But I dress up all feminine in work but I put my lab coat on and can strip bits of machinery that cost more than my house. People presumptuous nature amuses me often, not my fault they are closed minded

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"social distancing has been a blessing.

its keeping away all the people i never liked in the first place"

It's a blessing in some ways indeed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"social distancing has been a blessing.

its keeping away all the people i never liked in the first place"

Don't you miss the nice one's?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its taken time, and having spent a lifetime in a disciplined world, I think I can honestly say I march to the beat of my own drum and take what I believe is best from others behaviour and feel no need to fit in for the sake of it.

I'm happy to just do my thing, but more importantly let others do their thing. Unless they're a dick. Don't be a dick

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


" Its taken time, and having spent a lifetime in a disciplined world, I think I can honestly say I march to the beat of my own drum and take what I believe is best from others behaviour and feel no need to fit in for the sake of it.

I'm happy to just do my thing, but more importantly let others do their thing. Unless they're a dick. Don't be a dick "

Wise words as always Mr, but what is it about you that distinguishes you from the everyone else?

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By *uciferLingerieMan
over a year ago

Leeds


"So there's been a few different threads about people's perceptions of others. I believe it's normal for us to notice differences in each other, how we deal with that information is the important bit. But this ISN'T an OP about that.

It's about deviance from social norms, what is it about you that nonconformist? Do you hide your deviance from the norm or are they obvious by the way you choose to dress for example?

What's different about you? "

Socially I'm no different in my head, but I do behave differently around different people that I don't know that well with regards to many subjects. It depends how you meet/ or circumstances how you meet someone if that makes sense? I usually wouldn't get into political or sexual chat with someone I first met.

On fab it's obvious I have a kink for lingerie so happy to chat about that but not personally to friends as it's something not many know about it...a bit frowned upon or general piss taken would be expected!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Its taken time, and having spent a lifetime in a disciplined world, I think I can honestly say I march to the beat of my own drum and take what I believe is best from others behaviour and feel no need to fit in for the sake of it.

I'm happy to just do my thing, but more importantly let others do their thing. Unless they're a dick. Don't be a dick

Wise words as always Mr, but what is it about you that distinguishes you from the everyone else? "

I'm not sure. I don't think I even look to be different is my point? I'm taking those that try to be...arent??

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By *randmrsmanchesterCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

I’m not a massive fan of people, I spend all day doing small talk because of my job but happy to sit quietly if we were to go out.

I am not a touch feely person. Even when I feel like I’m being extra loving Mr laughs at me and tells me I’m really not. Dead inside apparently

Social distance wise I’ve been quite happy not having to touch people or be around more people. When you first meet me I come across as the shy quiet type. I have always said if you know me well enough for me to be my true non shy weird self around you then you are honoured.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Its taken time, and having spent a lifetime in a disciplined world, I think I can honestly say I march to the beat of my own drum and take what I believe is best from others behaviour and feel no need to fit in for the sake of it.

I'm happy to just do my thing, but more importantly let others do their thing. Unless they're a dick. Don't be a dick

Wise words as always Mr, but what is it about you that distinguishes you from the everyone else?

I'm not sure. I don't think I even look to be different is my point? I'm taking those that try to be...arent??"

Love that last line

(also sorry about the poolcock friends pic, just don't look..... )

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


" Its taken time, and having spent a lifetime in a disciplined world, I think I can honestly say I march to the beat of my own drum and take what I believe is best from others behaviour and feel no need to fit in for the sake of it.

I'm happy to just do my thing, but more importantly let others do their thing. Unless they're a dick. Don't be a dick

Wise words as always Mr, but what is it about you that distinguishes you from the everyone else?

I'm not sure. I don't think I even look to be different is my point? I'm taking those that try to be...arent??"

That's lush

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I’m not a massive fan of people, I spend all day doing small talk because of my job but happy to sit quietly if we were to go out.

I am not a touch feely person. Even when I feel like I’m being extra loving Mr laughs at me and tells me I’m really not. Dead inside apparently

Social distance wise I’ve been quite happy not having to touch people or be around more people. When you first meet me I come across as the shy quiet type. I have always said if you know me well enough for me to be my true non shy weird self around you then you are honoured.

"

I very much understand that

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I have never been one to follow the crowd, bow to peer pressure or conform to traditional expectations.

Swinging is definitely against social norms.

As I get older, the most obvious sign that I refuse to conform is my hair and dress sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Its taken time, and having spent a lifetime in a disciplined world, I think I can honestly say I march to the beat of my own drum and take what I believe is best from others behaviour and feel no need to fit in for the sake of it.

I'm happy to just do my thing, but more importantly let others do their thing. Unless they're a dick. Don't be a dick

Wise words as always Mr, but what is it about you that distinguishes you from the everyone else?

I'm not sure. I don't think I even look to be different is my point? I'm taking those that try to be...arent??

Love that last line

(also sorry about the poolcock friends pic, just don't look..... )"

Oh lordy I'm trying to look in my peripheral vision only

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" Its taken time, and having spent a lifetime in a disciplined world, I think I can honestly say I march to the beat of my own drum and take what I believe is best from others behaviour and feel no need to fit in for the sake of it.

I'm happy to just do my thing, but more importantly let others do their thing. Unless they're a dick. Don't be a dick

Wise words as always Mr, but what is it about you that distinguishes you from the everyone else?

I'm not sure. I don't think I even look to be different is my point? I'm taking those that try to be...arent??

Love that last line

(also sorry about the poolcock friends pic, just don't look..... )

Oh lordy I'm trying to look in my peripheral vision only "

Yw....

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I have never been one to follow the crowd, bow to peer pressure or conform to traditional expectations.

Swinging is definitely against social norms.

As I get older, the most obvious sign that I refuse to conform is my hair and dress sense "

I love seeing people with the confidence to dress differently.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"I have never been one to follow the crowd, bow to peer pressure or conform to traditional expectations.

Swinging is definitely against social norms.

As I get older, the most obvious sign that I refuse to conform is my hair and dress sense

I love seeing people with the confidence to dress differently. "

I don't really think about it. I just wear whatever I like... I live charity shops and things that are a bit quirky.

Not sure it's confidence, more about being comfortable in myself.

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By *emorefrida OP   Couple
over a year ago

La la land


"I have never been one to follow the crowd, bow to peer pressure or conform to traditional expectations.

Swinging is definitely against social norms.

As I get older, the most obvious sign that I refuse to conform is my hair and dress sense

I love seeing people with the confidence to dress differently.

I don't really think about it. I just wear whatever I like... I live charity shops and things that are a bit quirky.

Not sure it's confidence, more about being comfortable in myself. "

In my opinion that is the ultimate confidence x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve always been the weirdo outsider, when I was a kid it was damn hard just existing. As I grew older and learned how to cope I became more confident in myself. I’m not insecure and I don’t need anyone’s reassurance but the gap between me and the majority of society just widens the older I get.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I guess socially I'm quite often seen as the norm as no one sees my tattoos or piercings and don't know about any of my kinks. When people have found out bits they are usually shocked which I find hilarious - one person even said I'd shattered their angelic imagine of me

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"I have never been one to follow the crowd, bow to peer pressure or conform to traditional expectations.

Swinging is definitely against social norms.

As I get older, the most obvious sign that I refuse to conform is my hair and dress sense

I love seeing people with the confidence to dress differently.

I don't really think about it. I just wear whatever I like... I live charity shops and things that are a bit quirky.

Not sure it's confidence, more about being comfortable in myself.

In my opinion that is the ultimate confidence x"

I have my parents to thank for that. They brought me up to be happy being me.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss


"I have never been one to follow the crowd, bow to peer pressure or conform to traditional expectations.

Swinging is definitely against social norms.

As I get older, the most obvious sign that I refuse to conform is my hair and dress sense "

I adore that red hair colour - missing mine already

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"I guess socially I'm quite often seen as the norm as no one sees my tattoos or piercings and don't know about any of my kinks. When people have found out bits they are usually shocked which I find hilarious - one person even said I'd shattered their angelic imagine of me "

I don't think that anyone has thought of me as angelic for a very long time.

Very few people know we swing, but I doubt many would be particularly surprised.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"I have never been one to follow the crowd, bow to peer pressure or conform to traditional expectations.

Swinging is definitely against social norms.

As I get older, the most obvious sign that I refuse to conform is my hair and dress sense

I adore that red hair colour - missing mine already "

Dye time for you I reckon.

Mine washed out to almost blonde last week... it's now bright pink.

I've had random hair colours so long normal just feels wrong.

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