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 now I see the looks and those looks often denote the thought, the sideways glances, the laughter. You reading this now..what was your instant thought? Well heres the truth behind why. I have a childhood past, one you really dont want to know but many on here will know as they will have experiencedsimilar themselves. For fifty years I wore dark colours, shadow colours to hide me because I felt dirty, i felt I had no right to be seen. Then I had a meltdown that made me realise and understand I was a victim.All those years feeling I should hide, years wasted of my life. I wear these colours as a reminder to me, it makes me smile to have colour on my person at all times after believing colour was wrong for me. This isn t a woe is me thread this is a thread that says please..THINK... before sneering or looking down on someones outlook or appearance..for one sneering laugh is bearable to many but many sneering laughs could force some back into a place you have no understanding of.
I doubt many will read this or think about this but if you do, please be kind to those that live outside of your thoughts and ideals and think before judging.
Love to all x  | |||
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I always wear bright colours on my toes - makes me smile when I see them  | |||
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I love bright colours & anything a bit different to the norm | |||
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"The world has a perception of what is normal and majority will follow that and anyone outside that circle will get judged by narrow minded people. Even people using this website will be judged, thats why majority of users keep it quiet. Your life is yours to lead. Enjoy it X" True. but most people will judge on what is alien to them in their own lives, its how they act on that judgment that is important x | |||
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"This links to my last thread. Now,I wear bright coloured nail varnish upon my toes, often colours associated with females but then why should that be, who made nail varnish and colours a female thing, they are toes, everyone has them..hopefully now I see the looks and those looks often denote the thought, the sideways glances, the laughter. You reading this now..what was your instant thought? Well heres the truth behind why. I have a childhood past, one you really dont want to know but many on here will know as they will have experiencedsimilar themselves. For fifty years I wore dark colours, shadow colours to hide me because I felt dirty, i felt I had no right to be seen. THEN I HAD A MELTDOWN THAT MADE ME REALISE AND UNDERSTAND I WAS A VICTIM .All those years feeling I should hide, years wasted of my life. I wear these colours as a reminder to me, it makes me smile to have colour on my person at all times after believing colour was wrong for me. This isn t a woe is me thread this is a thread that says please..THINK... before sneering or looking down on someones outlook or appearance..for one sneering laugh is bearable to many but many sneering laughs could force some back into a place you have no understanding of.
I doubt many will read this or think about this but if you do, please be kind to those that live outside of your thoughts and ideals and think before judging.
Love to all x "What were you a victim of? You post is a little vague, although it's early lol maybe I'm not with it yet | |||
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"This links to my last thread. Now,I wear bright coloured nail varnish upon my toes, often colours associated with females but then why should that be, who made nail varnish and colours a female thing, they are toes, everyone has them..hopefully now I see the looks and those looks often denote the thought, the sideways glances, the laughter. You reading this now..what was your instant thought? Well heres the truth behind why. I have a childhood past, one you really dont want to know but many on here will know as they will have experiencedsimilar themselves. For fifty years I wore dark colours, shadow colours to hide me because I felt dirty, i felt I had no right to be seen. THEN I HAD A MELTDOWN THAT MADE ME REALISE AND UNDERSTAND I WAS A VICTIM .All those years feeling I should hide, years wasted of my life. I wear these colours as a reminder to me, it makes me smile to have colour on my person at all times after believing colour was wrong for me. This isn t a woe is me thread this is a thread that says please..THINK... before sneering or looking down on someones outlook or appearance..for one sneering laugh is bearable to many but many sneering laughs could force some back into a place you have no understanding of.
I doubt many will read this or think about this but if you do, please be kind to those that live outside of your thoughts and ideals and think before judging.
Love to all x
What were you a victim of?
You post is a little vague, although it's early lol maybe I'm not with it yet "Oh ok, i thought the thread was straight forward. Its not about the kind of abuse, its about people judging and expecting of others around them without knowing the facts or wanting to know. | |||
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"I get sick to the back teeth of people judging and criticising. I moved jobs earlier this year partly because my work colleagues were constantly doing this about me and my family. One reason they had a go was because I'm a curvy girl and in their eyes I should be slim, as all women should be slim according to them!! Everyone has their own lives to live how they wish. As long as it's not hurting others, people should be able to feel they can without fear of judgement. Why people expect everyone to be the same and live their lives in the same way is beyond me. Anything slightly different can be judged harshly. Our son is gay and felt he had to move away from where we live because of the stigma and him not feeling he can live his life as the 'real' him. He was judged and mocked for being gay. Narrow mindedness and judgemental people really make me boil. Haha sorry for the rant but it's a topic close to my heart." I’m so sorry to read your son had those struggles I hope life is better for him now? People are arseholes sometimes and judge others harshly because of some insecurities of their own but some are just arseholes! X | |||
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"I get sick to the back teeth of people judging and criticising. I moved jobs earlier this year partly because my work colleagues were constantly doing this about me and my family. One reason they had a go was because I'm a curvy girl and in their eyes I should be slim, as all women should be slim according to them!! Everyone has their own lives to live how they wish. As long as it's not hurting others, people should be able to feel they can without fear of judgement. Why people expect everyone to be the same and live their lives in the same way is beyond me. Anything slightly different can be judged harshly. Our son is gay and felt he had to move away from where we live because of the stigma and him not feeling he can live his life as the 'real' him. He was judged and mocked for being gay. Narrow mindedness and judgemental people really make me boil. Haha sorry for the rant but it's a topic close to my heart. I’m so sorry to read your son had those struggles I hope life is better for him now? People are arseholes sometimes and judge others harshly because of some insecurities of their own but some are just arseholes! X" Rant away...it is said life is cruel..no its not..it is the expectations and rules and ideals of us, people, that can turn someones life upside down. Life just is, its upto us how we live that life but others believe, worst now with social media,that all are allowed a say, an opinion of another. Its hard to believe that we ve walked upon this earth for so long and yet being gay is still a problem..but can I add to this with no offence meant to anyone. It is generally a stigma perpetuated by the male side of humanity and yet if it is a female gay relationship it appears to be accepted by that group..as with bisexuality. But its global as well. At the start of all this crap I heard comments about the filthy Chinese, how they are filthy eaters, how they ll eat anything..not suprising it started there. Utter crap. The Chinese culture is as old as any other its just different to the western world whatever the politics. In England it is largely expected that we grieve a death in black and in private and its all very solemn and pretty gloomy..but in Ireland they celebrate that life..in the eastern world they have very public pyres. Live and let live. A rant is good for the soul..I wish you and your son the very very best. X | |||
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"I guess we all have our own ideals of normal, but really who are we to judge what’s normal for other people?! Coloured nail varnish on a fella? I’d think fantastic good for you , my daughter nearly 18 thinks guys that paint their nails are sexy and there are a lot of young men that do this not because they’re trying to be ‘feminine’ but because they can and they want to , brilliant! X" Exactly..I ve been laughed at for wearing an anklet which is so ridiculous...I d love to know who was the first to say these things are for male or female alone. I remember a long time ago the james bond movie for the first time ever had a bond girl that was born male. The sun or mirror did a picture of the legs in heels and fishnets and said who do tgese belong to? I was in the guardroom at the time and you could see the paper being passed around with all the fk me love some of that type comments..til they got the answer then it was excuses and how fkin crap and weird and other bullshit. The fact is does it matter who or what gender..if it makes them happy then who has the right to say its wrong or put down. There are some guys on here that look sexy in lingerie and there are many straights that say no to that and then privately message or fab those same pics. Life shouldn t need acceptance it should be lived however an individual wishes. | |||
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"Be you always, why be anything other than you are. Ànd why be like everyone else, how boring is that! I often wonder how many people fall into being what other people/society/culture expect them to be and that is sad because I believe there really is only one person you have a duty to be true to and that is yourself. " If we were all the same we would be robots with programmes but then are we not programmed from birth..the difference we do have choice | |||
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"Keep being you Mr Tree and enjoy your journey of self discovery "Oh I am but it would be so much easier for so many out there if people just chilled and thought hey thats cool. Remember the 80s? Whatever happened to all those colours and fashions and hair dos..it was like walking down a circus street...so much colour without the judgement of today. Wishing you the very best x | |||
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" There's no doubt there's a perceived 'normal' for everyday folk, and when others apparently step out of it it attracts attention. But its not always negative? People look at things which are different out of curiosity, and sometimes it can garner interest and engagement? Good for you being able to do so with confidence. " True...I ve met some real interesting people, not many, but enough to bring a smile to our faces. | |||
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"Life is so much better when you start to give 0 fucks about the small stuff. Took me a while to feel that way though. " Haha..glad you found your way..enjoy | |||
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"The world has a perception of what is normal and majority will follow that and anyone outside that circle will get judged by narrow minded people. Even people using this website will be judged, thats why majority of users keep it quiet. Your life is yours to lead. Enjoy it X True. but most people will judge on what is alien to them in their own lives, its how they act on that judgment that is important x" Exactly and if this thread were to change one persons outlook on others I would do a cartwheel..no really I actually would, even though Im old enough to know better   | |||
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"This links to my last thread. Now,I wear bright coloured nail varnish upon my toes, often colours associated with females but then why should that be, who made nail varnish and colours a female thing, they are toes, everyone has them..hopefully now I see the looks and those looks often denote the thought, the sideways glances, the laughter. You reading this now..what was your instant thought? Well heres the truth behind why. I have a childhood past, one you really dont want to know but many on here will know as they will have experiencedsimilar themselves. For fifty years I wore dark colours, shadow colours to hide me because I felt dirty, i felt I had no right to be seen. THEN I HAD A MELTDOWN THAT MADE ME REALISE AND UNDERSTAND I WAS A VICTIM .All those years feeling I should hide, years wasted of my life. I wear these colours as a reminder to me, it makes me smile to have colour on my person at all times after believing colour was wrong for me. This isn t a woe is me thread this is a thread that says please..THINK... before sneering or looking down on someones outlook or appearance..for one sneering laugh is bearable to many but many sneering laughs could force some back into a place you have no understanding of.
I doubt many will read this or think about this but if you do, please be kind to those that live outside of your thoughts and ideals and think before judging.
Love to all x
What were you a victim of?
You post is a little vague, although it's early lol maybe I'm not with it yet
Oh ok, i thought the thread was straight forward. Its not about the kind of abuse, its about people judging and expecting of others around them without knowing the facts or wanting to know. "Not really any clearer as to what your saying you were the victim of? Are you saying you were the victim of being judged? | |||
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"I guess we all have our own ideals of normal, but really who are we to judge what’s normal for other people?! Coloured nail varnish on a fella? I’d think fantastic good for you , my daughter nearly 18 thinks guys that paint their nails are sexy and there are a lot of young men that do this not because they’re trying to be ‘feminine’ but because they can and they want to , brilliant! X Exactly..I ve been laughed at for wearing an anklet which is so ridiculous...I d love to know who was the first to say these things are for male or female alone. I remember a long time ago the james bond movie for the first time ever had a bond girl that was born male. The sun or mirror did a picture of the legs in heels and fishnets and said who do tgese belong to? I was in the guardroom at the time and you could see the paper being passed around with all the fk me love some of that type comments..til they got the answer then it was excuses and how fkin crap and weird and other bullshit. The fact is does it matter who or what gender..if it makes them happy then who has the right to say its wrong or put down. There are some guys on here that look sexy in lingerie and there are many straights that say no to that and then privately message or fab those same pics. Life shouldn t need acceptance it should be lived however an individual wishes. "An interesting thing on here would be for a man and a woman to dress in the other genders clothes with no hint as to their gender and then see how many fabs they received and then to be able to ask that changed their view on their gender being revealed as to why they changed their view | |||
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"This links to my last thread. Now,I wear bright coloured nail varnish upon my toes, often colours associated with females but then why should that be, who made nail varnish and colours a female thing, they are toes, everyone has them..hopefully now I see the looks and those looks often denote the thought, the sideways glances, the laughter. You reading this now..what was your instant thought? Well heres the truth behind why. I have a childhood past, one you really dont want to know but many on here will know as they will have experiencedsimilar themselves. For fifty years I wore dark colours, shadow colours to hide me because I felt dirty, i felt I had no right to be seen. THEN I HAD A MELTDOWN THAT MADE ME REALISE AND UNDERSTAND I WAS A VICTIM .All those years feeling I should hide, years wasted of my life. I wear these colours as a reminder to me, it makes me smile to have colour on my person at all times after believing colour was wrong for me. This isn t a woe is me thread this is a thread that says please..THINK... before sneering or looking down on someones outlook or appearance..for one sneering laugh is bearable to many but many sneering laughs could force some back into a place you have no understanding of.
I doubt many will read this or think about this but if you do, please be kind to those that live outside of your thoughts and ideals and think before judging.
Love to all x
What were you a victim of?
You post is a little vague, although it's early lol maybe I'm not with it yet
Oh ok, i thought the thread was straight forward. Its not about the kind of abuse, its about people judging and expecting of others around them without knowing the facts or wanting to know.
Not really any clearer as to what your saying you were the victim of? Are you saying you were the victim of being judged? "Ok I was violently abused in the home and tortured and sexually abused outside of the home. My so called father did not know of the sexual abuse until I was in my forties..when he found out he sent me a letter saying I d dishonoured his family and that I was dirty and that I should have taken the life of the offenders or my own..that from a man that nearly drowned me in the bath and would scrub me at a tender age with nail brushes and scourers..any clearer? | |||
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"This links to my last thread. Now,I wear bright coloured nail varnish upon my toes, often colours associated with females but then why should that be, who made nail varnish and colours a female thing, they are toes, everyone has them..hopefully now I see the looks and those looks often denote the thought, the sideways glances, the laughter. You reading this now..what was your instant thought? Well heres the truth behind why. I have a childhood past, one you really dont want to know but many on here will know as they will have experiencedsimilar themselves. For fifty years I wore dark colours, shadow colours to hide me because I felt dirty, i felt I had no right to be seen. THEN I HAD A MELTDOWN THAT MADE ME REALISE AND UNDERSTAND I WAS A VICTIM .All those years feeling I should hide, years wasted of my life. I wear these colours as a reminder to me, it makes me smile to have colour on my person at all times after believing colour was wrong for me. This isn t a woe is me thread this is a thread that says please..THINK... before sneering or looking down on someones outlook or appearance..for one sneering laugh is bearable to many but many sneering laughs could force some back into a place you have no understanding of.
I doubt many will read this or think about this but if you do, please be kind to those that live outside of your thoughts and ideals and think before judging.
Love to all x
What were you a victim of?
You post is a little vague, although it's early lol maybe I'm not with it yet
Oh ok, i thought the thread was straight forward. Its not about the kind of abuse, its about people judging and expecting of others around them without knowing the facts or wanting to know.
Not really any clearer as to what your saying you were the victim of? Are you saying you were the victim of being judged?
Ok I was violently abused in the home and tortured and sexually abused outside of the home. My so called father did not know of the sexual abuse until I was in my forties..when he found out he sent me a letter saying I d dishonoured his family and that I was dirty and that I should have taken the life of the offenders or my own..that from a man that nearly drowned me in the bath and would scrub me at a tender age with nail brushes and scourers..any clearer? "I was forced into hiding myself due to bruising etc..hide myself for so long that it became my way of life until 3 year ago when I did indeed attempt to take my life..all because of a man that was seen as a perfect gent and pillar of the community..sorry if my response appears harsh, its touched on a place that creates a reaction...one of the outside offenders was a man that sat in judgement of others professionally. | |||
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"This links to my last thread. Now,I wear bright coloured nail varnish upon my toes, often colours associated with females but then why should that be, who made nail varnish and colours a female thing, they are toes, everyone has them..hopefully now I see the looks and those looks often denote the thought, the sideways glances, the laughter. You reading this now..what was your instant thought? Well heres the truth behind why. I have a childhood past, one you really dont want to know but many on here will know as they will have experiencedsimilar themselves. For fifty years I wore dark colours, shadow colours to hide me because I felt dirty, i felt I had no right to be seen. THEN I HAD A MELTDOWN THAT MADE ME REALISE AND UNDERSTAND I WAS A VICTIM .All those years feeling I should hide, years wasted of my life. I wear these colours as a reminder to me, it makes me smile to have colour on my person at all times after believing colour was wrong for me. This isn t a woe is me thread this is a thread that says please..THINK... before sneering or looking down on someones outlook or appearance..for one sneering laugh is bearable to many but many sneering laughs could force some back into a place you have no understanding of.
I doubt many will read this or think about this but if you do, please be kind to those that live outside of your thoughts and ideals and think before judging.
Love to all x
What were you a victim of?
You post is a little vague, although it's early lol maybe I'm not with it yet
Oh ok, i thought the thread was straight forward. Its not about the kind of abuse, its about people judging and expecting of others around them without knowing the facts or wanting to know.
Not really any clearer as to what your saying you were the victim of? Are you saying you were the victim of being judged?
Ok I was violently abused in the home and tortured and sexually abused outside of the home. My so called father did not know of the sexual abuse until I was in my forties..when he found out he sent me a letter saying I d dishonoured his family and that I was dirty and that I should have taken the life of the offenders or my own..that from a man that nearly drowned me in the bath and would scrub me at a tender age with nail brushes and scourers..any clearer? "Much You didn't need to go into quite such detail, your original post about the colours you choose to wear didn't really convey much other than other peoples judgement about something, seemingly the colours of your clothes. Seems odd people would judge you negatively over these things. Some people are strange though | |||
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"I get sick to the back teeth of people judging and criticising. I moved jobs earlier this year partly because my work colleagues were constantly doing this about me and my family. One reason they had a go was because I'm a curvy girl and in their eyes I should be slim, as all women should be slim according to them!! Everyone has their own lives to live how they wish. As long as it's not hurting others, people should be able to feel they can without fear of judgement. Why people expect everyone to be the same and live their lives in the same way is beyond me. Anything slightly different can be judged harshly. Our son is gay and felt he had to move away from where we live because of the stigma and him not feeling he can live his life as the 'real' him. He was judged and mocked for being gay. Narrow mindedness and judgemental people really make me boil. Haha sorry for the rant but it's a topic close to my heart." That's not nice for your son! My son who is now my daughter was so lucky with the people around her work friends family etc when she came out were really supportive so much so it still touches me of course there was the odd one or 2 nasty but on the whole people were lovely! She moved to florida a year ago on fri to b with her friend she met online and is soo happy! I do miss her so much though today is her 24th birthday her first b day away from me! But she is happy which makes me happy! | |||
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"I think keeping a healthy perspective is key here, both of why you do what you do and also of others reactions to your actions. If ppl are shocked by what they see as unusual then they're allowed that perception as long as they're not abusive about it. For example my girl might see a man in the park with bright green hair and say "look daddy that man over there has has green spikey hair" and point (because it's unusual to her) and I'd maybe reply something like "oh yes darling isn't he cool!". Job done really, but if the green haired man heard my daughter say that he shouldn't feel bad or take offence because it was just her natural, harmless reaction and we can't hope to control that now can we, she's never seen a man with green hair before because we live in the back end of nowhere. Life is what it is, enjoy being you OP and don't take any shit, I always enjoy reading you.... "This is pretty much it. | |||
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"I think keeping a healthy perspective is key here, both of why you do what you do and also of others reactions to your actions. If ppl are shocked by what they see as unusual then they're allowed that perception as long as they're not abusive about it. For example my girl might see a man in the park with bright green hair and say "look daddy that man over there has has green spikey hair" and point (because it's unusual to her) and I'd maybe reply something like "oh yes darling isn't he cool!". Job done really, but if the green haired man heard my daughter say that he shouldn't feel bad or take offence because it was just her natural, harmless reaction and we can't hope to control that now can we, she's never seen a man with green hair before because we live in the back end of nowhere. Life is what it is, enjoy being you OP and don't take any shit, I always enjoy reading you.... "I agree with this , it’s human nature to look at someone/something different, someone with tattoos, scars, burns, fat, amputees, extremely tall etc etc and I feel this is ok as long as that look is just curious/acknowledgement/awe even but what’s not ok is when people take it further in a judgemental or offensive way , I’m sure people look at me on holiday and think oh there’s a big girl in a bikini and that’s cool because I am a big girl in a bikini which maybe isn’t the norm at my size and it’s possibly maybe something they don’t see lots off , if they were to think fat cow shouldn’t be wearing that then they have issues but I would damn well still rock my bikini, sorry went off track a little maybe there ! What I’m saying is I think it’s normal to look twice at what we see as not normal for us but jolly well have nice thoughts about it | |||
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"I think keeping a healthy perspective is key here, both of why you do what you do and also of others reactions to your actions. If ppl are shocked by what they see as unusual then they're allowed that perception as long as they're not abusive about it. For example my girl might see a man in the park with bright green hair and say "look daddy that man over there has has green spikey hair" and point (because it's unusual to her) and I'd maybe reply something like "oh yes darling isn't he cool!". Job done really, but if the green haired man heard my daughter say that he shouldn't feel bad or take offence because it was just her natural, harmless reaction and we can't hope to control that now can we, she's never seen a man with green hair before because we live in the back end of nowhere. Life is what it is, enjoy being you OP and don't take any shit, I always enjoy reading you.... "I totally agree as children are still learning and exploring and should do both..its important..but an adult should have more understanding as we all have our quirks..and thank you | |||
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"I think keeping a healthy perspective is key here, both of why you do what you do and also of others reactions to your actions. If ppl are shocked by what they see as unusual then they're allowed that perception as long as they're not abusive about it. For example my girl might see a man in the park with bright green hair and say "look daddy that man over there has has green spikey hair" and point (because it's unusual to her) and I'd maybe reply something like "oh yes darling isn't he cool!". Job done really, but if the green haired man heard my daughter say that he shouldn't feel bad or take offence because it was just her natural, harmless reaction and we can't hope to control that now can we, she's never seen a man with green hair before because we live in the back end of nowhere. Life is what it is, enjoy being you OP and don't take any shit, I always enjoy reading you....
I totally agree as children are still learning and exploring and should do both..its important..but an adult should have more understanding as we all have our quirks..and thank you "Adults are (or certainly should be) learning too.... | |||
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"I think keeping a healthy perspective is key here, both of why you do what you do and also of others reactions to your actions. If ppl are shocked by what they see as unusual then they're allowed that perception as long as they're not abusive about it. For example my girl might see a man in the park with bright green hair and say "look daddy that man over there has has green spikey hair" and point (because it's unusual to her) and I'd maybe reply something like "oh yes darling isn't he cool!". Job done really, but if the green haired man heard my daughter say that he shouldn't feel bad or take offence because it was just her natural, harmless reaction and we can't hope to control that now can we, she's never seen a man with green hair before because we live in the back end of nowhere. Life is what it is, enjoy being you OP and don't take any shit, I always enjoy reading you....
I agree with this , it’s human nature to look at someone/something different, someone with tattoos, scars, burns, fat, amputees, extremely tall etc etc and I feel this is ok as long as that look is just curious/acknowledgement/awe even but what’s not ok is when people take it further in a judgemental or offensive way , I’m sure people look at me on holiday and think oh there’s a big girl in a bikini and that’s cool because I am a big girl in a bikini which maybe isn’t the norm at my size and it’s possibly maybe something they don’t see lots off , if they were to think fat cow shouldn’t be wearing that then they have issues but I would damn well still rock my bikini, sorry went off track a little maybe there ! What I’m saying is I think it’s normal to look twice at what we see as not normal for us but jolly well have nice thoughts about it "Absolutely! | |||
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