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Reflection and isolation

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How has or does it effect you, being alone for an extended time? I read a book of a man that lived 30 years alone in a woodland in the US. When he was forced back into society it broke him, leaving him emotionally wrecked. In prison for very minor offences he requested solitary so he could be himself, it was denied. I lived rough for two years but also sought the woodlands and loved waking up to hearing the trees sway in the breeze or the nightjar warbling at night, woodsmoke filling the air as I cooked and washed my clothing. I was asked to choreograph a dance to do with reflecting on oneself and it blew the directors mind as he realised he d never truly been alone, with no outside contact, he d never truly looked into his soul. I knew a woman that believed she was a lady of the woodland spirituality but after 4 hours of staying in a dark, unknown woodland cabin with no contact, she started to cry and had to leave as she was scared..but was she scared of the reflection upon herself or was it the unknown of nature at night that scared her? So have you spent such a time with only your thoughts to share..no outside contact and if you have how did you find it? For me my 2 years were in search of myself and the result was this me, the real me and a far greater me that realised I d missed so much in life as I was leading a falsehood...alas I found myself then covid hit...bugger. I d love to know your stories. To this day I spend the larger part of my time alone, through choice and a love of mother nature, its interesting that the friendship I seek I have found on here but not in my everyday world.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Well, that is certainly deep and profound, and deserves a response even if it's not a very good one.

I do spend time alone, by choice, although this enforced isolation is starting to take its toll to be honest. That said, I've not been alone in the full sense like you have, because I'm slightly scared that if I look too deeply inside myself I won't like what I see reflected back

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Well, that is certainly deep and profound, and deserves a response even if it's not a very good one.

I do spend time alone, by choice, although this enforced isolation is starting to take its toll to be honest. That said, I've not been alone in the full sense like you have, because I'm slightly scared that if I look too deeply inside myself I won't like what I see reflected back "

Haha..yeah I think I have a bit of a rep for deep stuff,rightly or wrongly. Thanks for being honest and posting. Many have the same worries concerning looking hard at oneself but its easier if one remembers who you are now and that all that passed before, right or wrong created the now. Remove one second and you would be different. I lived the way I did in order to face my past...it was a close run thing but worth it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

My personal thoughts are that we're all alone anyway. Whether we choose to fend off that ”aloneness" by allowing outside influences to preve us from deep reflection is up to us. The minutes of meditation can take you to isolation mentally if not physically.

My brother isolated himself with his dog for some time, in much the same way you did op, he still does to an extent.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My personal thoughts are that we're all alone anyway. Whether we choose to fend off that ”aloneness" by allowing outside influences to preve us from deep reflection is up to us. The minutes of meditation can take you to isolation mentally if not physically.

My brother isolated himself with his dog for some time, in much the same way you did op, he still does to an extent. "

For those that are able to meditate then being alone is achievable no matter where the individual may be. And for sure being alone and reflective is more mental than physical as the physicality. As for your brother being with a dog is just something so beautiful..I miss mine massively

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I’m generally quite happy in my own company and I enjoy spending time alone. I walk and wild camp on my own occasionally to get away. But I appreciate that I get to choose to do that when I need to. The rest of the time I have friends and family in my life. I think there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely.

Sometimes the loneliest place is in company.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m generally quite happy in my own company and I enjoy spending time alone. I walk and wild camp on my own occasionally to get away. But I appreciate that I get to choose to do that when I need to. The rest of the time I have friends and family in my life. I think there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely.

Sometimes the loneliest place is in company. "

So very true..I spend almost all my time alone but not lonely and if Im out roughing it its always done way away from people..as a rule in the woodlands, the mountains and close to water.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Isolation doesn't have to be away from people in my experience. I spent years being isolated, but it was an emotional one, one where I neither felt joy nor sadness. I didn't want or require others just wanted to be left alone. That lasted years when I was younger.

Now I'm more in tune with myself, but will cut myself off emotionally when stressed or upset.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Isolation doesn't have to be away from people in my experience. I spent years being isolated, but it was an emotional one, one where I neither felt joy nor sadness. I didn't want or require others just wanted to be left alone. That lasted years when I was younger.

Now I'm more in tune with myself, but will cut myself off emotionally when stressed or upset. "

Though I work alone I understand your words as some days I will pick those jobs that are truly isolated..no chance of passers by or I ll drive somewhere and just sit and disappear inside myself. I dance the same, I often dance almost trance state especially if I need to sort my head x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Isolation doesn't have to be away from people in my experience. I spent years being isolated, but it was an emotional one, one where I neither felt joy nor sadness. I didn't want or require others just wanted to be left alone. That lasted years when I was younger.

Now I'm more in tune with myself, but will cut myself off emotionally when stressed or upset.

Though I work alone I understand your words as some days I will pick those jobs that are truly isolated..no chance of passers by or I ll drive somewhere and just sit and disappear inside myself. I dance the same, I often dance almost trance state especially if I need to sort my head x"

If Im processing things my emotions ice up as Im too focussed on fighting the wildfire..gf knows and understands this..I can be at a huge gathering and can emotionally switch off in a second leaving only a ghost to those around

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Isolation doesn't have to be away from people in my experience. I spent years being isolated, but it was an emotional one, one where I neither felt joy nor sadness. I didn't want or require others just wanted to be left alone. That lasted years when I was younger.

Now I'm more in tune with myself, but will cut myself off emotionally when stressed or upset.

Though I work alone I understand your words as some days I will pick those jobs that are truly isolated..no chance of passers by or I ll drive somewhere and just sit and disappear inside myself. I dance the same, I often dance almost trance state especially if I need to sort my head x

If Im processing things my emotions ice up as Im too focussed on fighting the wildfire..gf knows and understands this..I can be at a huge gathering and can emotionally switch off in a second leaving only a ghost to those around"

Yes this is exactly what I do, this used to last for long periods of time. I'm like a zombie but I will come around eventually

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love my alone time, and am found out walking hills or coast very often...however!

I think the most antisocial of us, deep down yearns contact? Have you noticed people online proclaiming to desire solicitude, yet come here for company?

Of course there's always reasons. Maybe they're shy and become anxious in company, or have been bullied so seek solitude rather than risk more exposure?

Ultimately we all want to be loved, if not then liked, or at the very least accepted by others?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


" I love my alone time, and am found out walking hills or coast very often...however!

I think the most antisocial of us, deep down yearns contact? Have you noticed people online proclaiming to desire solicitude, yet come here for company?

Of course there's always reasons. Maybe they're shy and become anxious in company, or have been bullied so seek solitude rather than risk more exposure?

Ultimately we all want to be loved, if not then liked, or at the very least accepted by others? "

Oh I agree...to be completely cut off can send the system down a dodgy road, I know this from personal experience. Social side for me is probably around 30 per cent of my time, and Im happy that way but no social contact would be contrary to a healthy mind.

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By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago

A little village

I often need to spend a bit of time by myself to rebalance and reconnect to myself. I feel myself getting more stressed if I know I need this, but I’m surrounded by people. But it lasts maybe a couple days and then I need to be around others, as solitude isn’t something I crave longer term. For reasons linked to my childhood and a traumatic experience, prolonged solitude can actually trigger slight panic for me. So most of the time I need to know there’s at least someone I trust nearby who I can contact if needs be. I find I generally strike the balance of solitude and company of others quite well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I often need to spend a bit of time by myself to rebalance and reconnect to myself. I feel myself getting more stressed if I know I need this, but I’m surrounded by people. But it lasts maybe a couple days and then I need to be around others, as solitude isn’t something I crave longer term. For reasons linked to my childhood and a traumatic experience, prolonged solitude can actually trigger slight panic for me. So most of the time I need to know there’s at least someone I trust nearby who I can contact if needs be. I find I generally strike the balance of solitude and company of others quite well. "

Coming from and having issues with my own childhood I get this. The difference for me is that I seek solitude with my past issues as it turns me against being around people whereas when Im ok I do socialise.

You look after yourself eh x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I grew up in a very busy, noisy household. I cherished my alone time and sought it often, when I moved out I realised how much I missed to noise and the craziness and sought that out instead eventually finding a good balance. All went well until my dad died and ever since I've hated spending too much time alone. It's never quiet because there is too much noise in my head. I was managing it until lockdown kicked in, I lasted nearly two months before it eventually broke me ( that time was full of emotional breakdowns) I practically ran to my sisters and locked down with her instead. Moral of the story, I'm not good with spending too much time alone anymore. I need my family and friends around me as much as possible. Too much self reflection ties me in knots of what if's and buts.

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By *riental_brit_studMan
over a year ago

London

This is one of the most profound and honest threads I have read of any fora. Who would have thought it would be on a swingers forum!

There are so many fundamental truths already on this thread. Such as, 'Sometimes the loneliest place is in company.'

Isolation for me personally is double-edged, it's a necessity to have time for myself but too much and I long for social contact. Sometimes it's not always possible to strike the right balance. This is where the saying 'Sometimes the loneliest place is in company' is apt.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I grew up in a very busy, noisy household. I cherished my alone time and sought it often, when I moved out I realised how much I missed to noise and the craziness and sought that out instead eventually finding a good balance. All went well until my dad died and ever since I've hated spending too much time alone. It's never quiet because there is too much noise in my head. I was managing it until lockdown kicked in, I lasted nearly two months before it eventually broke me ( that time was full of emotional breakdowns) I practically ran to my sisters and locked down with her instead. Moral of the story, I'm not good with spending too much time alone anymore. I need my family and friends around me as much as possible. Too much self reflection ties me in knots of what if's and buts. "

Hey..for many those friends and , dare it be said these days, those hugs,are not simply nice but VITAL. I hope things are balancing..feel free to bend my ear if you need to get something off your chest...so to speak

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This is one of the most profound and honest threads I have read of any fora. Who would have thought it would be on a swingers forum!

There are so many fundamental truths already on this thread. Such as, 'Sometimes the loneliest place is in company.'

Isolation for me personally is double-edged, it's a necessity to have time for myself but too much and I long for social contact. Sometimes it's not always possible to strike the right balance. This is where the saying 'Sometimes the loneliest place is in company' is apt."

Being amongst the masses is often a contrary belief of being a good place to be. Often if that masse have no idea of the problems one may face it can increase the sense of anxiety, panic and isolation. Our world has become a world where often judgements are reached concerning an individuals behaviour without knowing the facts etc..and this was pre covid. This also can make one anxious. These are my own experiences so may not suit all.

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By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago

A little village


"I often need to spend a bit of time by myself to rebalance and reconnect to myself. I feel myself getting more stressed if I know I need this, but I’m surrounded by people. But it lasts maybe a couple days and then I need to be around others, as solitude isn’t something I crave longer term. For reasons linked to my childhood and a traumatic experience, prolonged solitude can actually trigger slight panic for me. So most of the time I need to know there’s at least someone I trust nearby who I can contact if needs be. I find I generally strike the balance of solitude and company of others quite well.

Coming from and having issues with my own childhood I get this. The difference for me is that I seek solitude with my past issues as it turns me against being around people whereas when Im ok I do socialise.

You look after yourself eh x "

The past leaves quite a mark doesn’t it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I grew up in a very busy, noisy household. I cherished my alone time and sought it often, when I moved out I realised how much I missed to noise and the craziness and sought that out instead eventually finding a good balance. All went well until my dad died and ever since I've hated spending too much time alone. It's never quiet because there is too much noise in my head. I was managing it until lockdown kicked in, I lasted nearly two months before it eventually broke me ( that time was full of emotional breakdowns) I practically ran to my sisters and locked down with her instead. Moral of the story, I'm not good with spending too much time alone anymore. I need my family and friends around me as much as possible. Too much self reflection ties me in knots of what if's and buts.

Hey..for many those friends and , dare it be said these days, those hugs,are not simply nice but VITAL. I hope things are balancing..feel free to bend my ear if you need to get something off your chest...so to speak "

Exactly this, I didn't realise that until it happened. Not quite but I've got good people looking out for me. Thank you xx

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