FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Arguments

Jump to newest
 

By *icearms OP   Man
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

Are you good at arguing? Do you forget about an argument quite quickly or do you stew on it?

I've had a big argument today and it's left me feeling quite crappy. I've never been good at arguing as I always feel like my words are twisted and it leaves me so frustrated.

I'm now playing it over in my head and have to talk to the person tomorrow even though I'd rather not. It's getting me quite stressed...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Negative energy =

No

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm better at having a discussion. Arguing isn't ideal.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'm good at arguing I get told. But I dont like to do it often. I'll say my piece, listen to the other side, then move on. Very rare I dwell on it. It solves nothing except making me have bad feelings x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not good at arguing because I have no time for it.

I'll sometimes cry in a really heated argument but I say what I have to say in a calm manner and remove myself as soon as possible.

I think life is too short to always get caught up in that toxic shit.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago

A little village

Arguments are never pleasant. Whether it affects me for the rest of the day or has an emotional impact on me depends on who it is and what the disagreement is. If I’m close to the person I’ve argued with (eg partner or family member) and/or the issue is an important one to me, then it does tend to consume my thoughts and feelings until it’s resolved. Random disagreement with stranger? Forgotten within minutes. It all depends on the emotional significance...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I avoid arguing as I can explode.

It takes a while for me to defuse as well and I might stew on it afterwards....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I hate conflict and hate to argue. It is usually hours after the row that i kick myself for not saying this or not saying that. Life is too short for arguements. Hope you shake hands when you meet next. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago

A little village

Also .. I wouldn’t say I’m particularly “good at” arguing. I can hold my own very well and make a point articulately if I feel I need to. But that said, I do find it stressful and don’t enjoy it or think I’m “good” at it, as such. It’s just sometimes a necessary part of life isn’t it...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ob Carpe DiemMan
over a year ago

Torquay

Avoid if I can, always regret it and nobody wins, but it happens from time to time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *HE PROBLEMMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Negative energy =

No"

This

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Try writing it all down if it's winding you up. Sometimes that's enough to clear your mind. I don't tend to argue I end up getting distressed and crying. I take things to personally but that is me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im expecting a big one when i go back into work.

So heyho

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate arguing. Can't be bothered with it tbh

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Try writing it all down if it's winding you up. Sometimes that's enough to clear your mind. I don't tend to argue I end up getting distressed and crying. I take things to personally but that is me "

Yeah, there's much to be said for processing your feelings then talking through a problem. Me arguing is not a good time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icearms OP   Man
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

In the grand scheme it's a work argument. However it was quite heated and I raised my voice.. which I rarely do in a work environment. I now feel unprofessional and I've let myself down.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Try writing it all down if it's winding you up. Sometimes that's enough to clear your mind. I don't tend to argue I end up getting distressed and crying. I take things to personally but that is me

Yeah, there's much to be said for processing your feelings then talking through a problem. Me arguing is not a good time"

Exactly often we can't change the person we are arguing, but we can change how we react to them. Negative people are like emotional vampires sometimes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"In the grand scheme it's a work argument. However it was quite heated and I raised my voice.. which I rarely do in a work environment. I now feel unprofessional and I've let myself down. "

Shows you have passion for your work, depending on the situation may not be a bad thing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

I try to calm things down and see reason with most people - I don’t let rip unless someone has really riled me. A discussion is preferable and favourable outcome for all.

Many a cruel word is exchanged in haste and anger yet regretted later....

“Negotiations on the battlefield are infinitely preferable to war”

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

I tend to walk away before an argument these days, mainly because I know if I get drawn in I'm very feisty and I can be vicious - I don't really want to cause people upset, especially those close to me. I'd rather wait until all involved have calmed down and discuss it calmly.

Sometimes you just can't avoid it though.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT


"Negative energy =

No

This "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate confrontation, I walk away or I bottle it up or go quiet. It’s on text that I tend to lash out afterwards. Oh and I cry like a knob too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you good at arguing? Do you forget about an argument quite quickly or do you stew on it?

I've had a big argument today and it's left me feeling quite crappy. I've never been good at arguing as I always feel like my words are twisted and it leaves me so frustrated.

I'm now playing it over in my head and have to talk to the person tomorrow even though I'd rather not. It's getting me quite stressed... "

I know the feeling. I’m a good arguer but I do stew on it after for sure.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

I cannot remember the last time I had an argument, but I am pretty laid back and it takes a awful lot for me to get riled, I tend to stand my ground, listen to them, then talk it out, negotiation does come naturally to me, try and have an argument with a 1 ton horse

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I don't think arguing is something you can be good at as such. Resolving it, yes. I think during an argument I'm crap - I angry cry and my anxiety spirals (depending on how close I am to someone). I can also be quite vicious when attacked especially if I know the other is in the wrong.

I'm also very much the sort who likes to get it resolved quickly and can't understand why others don't; I'm basically a bit of a 'mare.

If I step back and calm down (even for a few minutes) I can rationalise quite quickly. I'm also good to listening to the other's point of view and understanding where they are coming from, I'd much rather discuss things than shut them out and let bad feelings fester - 1) because negative energy isn't good for anyone and 2) I know sometimes I can be a throbber and it's good for me to learn from and grow.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I argue then I'm done. It is sometimes necessary to clear the air and i think it's healthy now and then. But once done I move on. I'm really not a dweller. Life is too short not to stick up for what you think is right and definitely too short to dwell on what is done.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In the grand scheme it's a work argument. However it was quite heated and I raised my voice.. which I rarely do in a work environment. I now feel unprofessional and I've let myself down. "

I know it's easy to say but try not to think about it too much.

It's over and done now and nothing will change what happened.

The good news is tomorrow is a new day. It's natural for things to become very heated and I can understand why you feel unprofessional, but you can learn from this and you can always apologise for raising your voice and let them know you got too caught up in the moment. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I'm not going to go into definitions of argument.

Getting angry is not arguing. Getting angry is loss of control.

I genuinely feel for you. Here is my advice.

You cannot change it. It's happened. Learn from it and don't stew.

Tomorrow in work ..... make the first move. Don't grovel.

If the other person comes at you with all mouths firing....... let them. They have already lost control.

Listen to them. Their steam will dissipate. Then you can put your side.

Smiles help. Apologies for tempers help but acknowledge how important what you had to say was.

Stewing will result in anxiety, loss of sleep and a loss of temper tomorrow.

Forgive yourself xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"In the grand scheme it's a work argument. However it was quite heated and I raised my voice.. which I rarely do in a work environment. I now feel unprofessional and I've let myself down.

I know it's easy to say but try not to think about it too much.

It's over and done now and nothing will change what happened.

The good news is tomorrow is a new day. It's natural for things to become very heated and I can understand why you feel unprofessional, but you can learn from this and you can always apologise for raising your voice and let them know you got too caught up in the moment. X"

Stop writing what i'm typing while you are posting what i'm writing......

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales


"In the grand scheme it's a work argument. However it was quite heated and I raised my voice.. which I rarely do in a work environment. I now feel unprofessional and I've let myself down. "

We all have bad days Op, there is nothing wrong with holding your hands up, admitting it went too far and you’re sorry.

Tomorrow is another day.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icearms OP   Man
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

Thanks all..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Thanks all.. "

You have to come back later and let us all know what happened.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Arguing is an important part of communication. It can be done well or badly. Not arguing can mean that things are going unsaid.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you good at arguing? Do you forget about an argument quite quickly or do you stew on it?

I've had a big argument today and it's left me feeling quite crappy. I've never been good at arguing as I always feel like my words are twisted and it leaves me so frustrated.

I'm now playing it over in my head and have to talk to the person tomorrow even though I'd rather not. It's getting me quite stressed... "

I've been told im always right

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Today is a new day. What happened yesterday cannot be changed, its gone. And no matter how important it may have seemed yesterday, a few feathers may have been ruffled, today its time to leave the past in the past.

Today, its a new day, live in it and put aside things of yesterday

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icearms OP   Man
over a year ago

KIDLINGTON

So just to update you.. the guy I argues with is a complete tool. Would not accept my calls today and cancelled a meeting we had planned.

So I now don't care that I raised my voice at him... rant over.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never argue with idiots

They will beat you with experience

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top