FabSwingers.com forum: what if the wife found out

By *lder A Wiser Passion OP Woman
over a year ago

morecambe

Ok folk what is your thoughts on this

what do you think od married folk doing this behind the others back?

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

Personally, we think there are better way to sort out relationship problems, than being unfaithful but it's not our place to judge.

We just try and avoid married guys but it's not something we would ask about at a club or party.

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west

I suppose if they leave all that drama at home then again that's easier said than done and normally just not worth the energy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok folk what is your thoughts on this

what do you think od married folk doing this behind the others back?"

Each to their own and all that ,and am certainly not being judgemental here ,every one has what they believe are their reasons for doing whatever they do but in this situation ,for me anyway ,the ride is certainly not worth the fall ...

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

I think life isn't black and white.

I think as long as they are upfront with potential meets then it's only their business

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

In saying that I have no respect for serial adulterers. Someone who just wants to fuck everyone over

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

I don't agree with it at all.

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By *abasaurus RexMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

I think that there are many factors that make it far from a simple issue.

As Annabelle said, I think people should be honest. At that stage it’s up to those involved to decide if they’re ok with it or not.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

"Ok folk what is your thoughts on this

what do you think od married folk doing this behind the others back?"

I think is not correct being unfaithful, is bad behaviour and just shows the lack of trust and honesty in the relationship, most times this is the point where relationships they start falling apart

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Cheating is never a good thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think life isn't black and white.

I think as long as they are upfront with potential meets then it's only their business "

True to a certain point but it still doesn't protect those involved from the potential carnage that could happen if found out , especially if there is kids involved ..yes ,if they're upfront etc the people they're meeting know then but for me l would certainly not want to be the one that could become involved in potential heartache for anyone...like l said the ride is not worth the fall ... listen to the Rolling stones " you can't always get what you want " ..the first and last verse ..all about it ..great song too..love it

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I think life isn't black and white.

I think as long as they are upfront with potential meets then it's only their business

Maybe it's about what you need!

Need in order to have something for yourself!

When you are in a position that you cannot or do not want to walk away from. I can imagine a few of them scenarios, longterm illness of loved one, that kind of thing. It is for each to make their own mind, as long as they have the facts. There's not always kids involved but often very lonely people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's cheating and they're dicks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funny how it's always about guys cheating!!

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"Ok folk what is your thoughts on this

what do you think od married folk doing this behind the others back?"

I think that if you ask the same people the same question, you’ll get the same answers.

Nobody ever comes out of these things with a changed opinion

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By *adysueandneroCouple
over a year ago

witney

"Funny how it's always about guys cheating!! "

I was thinking the same thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t really worry about what others get up to, unless it directly affects me

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By *luebellRacerCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

We don't want to be involved in a potentially homewrecking situation.

Plenty of honest single/consenting people out there.

If the relationship is lacking, talk it through. Nothing is going to be made better by cheating.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What if the husband found out? It's not just men going behind their partner's back.

Men and women have been being unfaithful since time immemorial. It isn't always an uncaring guy leaving a barefoot wife at home sobbing into her gruel with 6 hungry children crying and asking where daddy is. Life is more nuanced than that.

How about the man whose partner tells him she's no longer interested in intimacy of any kind, refuses to discuss it and won't even cuddle him in a non sexual way? What about the woman who cares for her partner who can do nothing for himself, full time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both find cheating pretty abhorrent. But honestly, though we wouldn't knowingly meet someone playing away, we don't tend to question people we meet at clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh it's a day, there's a married people meeting thread

Sheesh

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By *oneeMan
over a year ago

bath

What about a thread “what if the husband found out” it’s not only men cheating on their partners on here.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Don’t tell the wife about my GF cause she’ll kill me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheating can be like stealing. Some steal because they're addicted to the thrill, some steal because they are starving.

In an ideal world nobody would transgress, but who's life is always ideal ?

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

It's shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s deceitful, it’s cheating and it leads to people being hurt

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By *andyblokeMan
over a year ago

birmingham

"I think life isn't black and white.

I think as long as they are upfront with potential meets then it's only their business

Maybe it's about what you need!

Need in order to have something for yourself!

that is very profound and true. Life isnt simple and there are many reasons. Fabs is a sex site..we are all on here for pleasure and fun. Too much analysis make take the edge off that? I try not to be judgemental. xx

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

What if people were less judgmental of others!?

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I think life isn't black and white.

I think as long as they are upfront with potential meets then it's only their business

Maybe it's about what you need!

Need in order to have something for yourself!

Anabelle you took the very words out of my mouth. It's not for us to judge another's situation. If we aren't in it then we can't know.

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By *ugRollersCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

Nevermind the wife ... what about the husband? Women are dirty dogs too ... it’s thrill seeking, excitement, the idea of getting caught. The rebel in them... to some degree it’s quite selfish .. but each to their own no one knows what is going on in people’s heads ... everyone makes mistakes ... it’s them that has to live with it at the end of the day x

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"I think life isn't black and white.

I think as long as they are upfront with potential meets then it's only their business

Maybe it's about what you need!

Need in order to have something for yourself!

Anabelle you took the very words out of my mouth. It's not for us to judge another's situation. If we aren't in it then we can't know.

My thoughts exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s their own business and not mine. Just be honest about it to allow people to make an informed choice. Like someone said, not everything is black or white. I do have issues with people saying they’re single when they’re not though. Other than that I don’t see what business it is of anyone’s.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I think it’s their own business and not mine. Just be honest about it to allow people to make an informed choice. Like someone said, not everything is black or white. I do have issues with people saying they’re single when they’re not though. Other than that I don’t see what business it is of anyone’s. "

This too. It's not fair to put someone unwittingly into a situation they might be comfortable in.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I wouldn't judge either way, each to their own and all that - and how can you even be in a position to judge if you don't know their full circumstances and innermost thoughts?

Whether it affects me or not really depends on my interaction with that person. For a one-off meet or club play, I'm never going to ask and I don't care...all that matters to me then is that I fancy them and they're going to be respectful and safe.

With someone that I'm looking to see on a regular basis, I would like them to be honest with me so that I can make my own choice whether to see them or not once armed with all the facts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think tbh! It's not my business, I don't have to meet them....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am probably in the minority here.... But I never ask people’s martial status when meeting someone....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bang out of order. Cheating is the worse form of betrayal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you are right. Life is not always black and white and sometimes people have their shades of grey, including the partners of the relationship

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By *weety321Woman
over a year ago

nottingham

Each to their own and nobody’s business what they’re doing, I don’t judge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do I think of it?

Well noone can provide a plausible argument that its OK and noone should find it unacceptable?

But it happens, because there's so many flaws to people's habits and behaviour? Amongst the people screaming 'stone them' will be people who are guilty of all sorts ranging from abusive behaviour, thefts, misuse if substances etc etc.

Trouble is fab focuses on sex so it gets highlighted.

If you want to do something its your choice, and own it when it goes wrong! But don't expect everyone to see your perspective. If you really need everyone's approval you're going to crash and burn.

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

"I think life isn't black and white.

I think as long as they are upfront with potential meets then it's only their business"

Agreed. I always advocate honesty. Cheating is always wrong, and there will always be a better route / path to take... however taking it can be much harder. It's not a black & white issue, no two marriages are the same and there could be a myriad of factors going on behind the scenes that we're unaware of.

Cheaters aren't always these evil, heartless, narcissistic sociopaths... in fact I'd guess only a very, very small percentage are. Most are probably driven to it through fear, lonliness, desperation, etc. Either way, on places like this I believe you should be upfront with people so everyone knows what they're getting into and can bow out if they so desire.

It's a tough one, to be sure. Unfortunately we've been raised by a culture and taught by religion that we don't have any other options... that we can't practice ethical non-monogamy and embrace our more animalistic, polyamourous nature, and are therefore forced to lie and hide and cheat. Hopefully we'll start to see a shift now that polyamory and ENM are seeping into the mainstream a bit more.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

And if you look to the left you will see this topic that we get every day.

My stance though is I’d rather not meet them. I am In a relationship and it took me a lot to open up a discussion about what I wanted and needed so why others can’t do that is beyond me

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"And if you look to the left you will see this topic that we get every day.

My stance though is I’d rather not meet them. I am In a relationship and it took me a lot to open up a discussion about what I wanted and needed so why others can’t do that is beyond me "

Because all the talking in the world won't make a partner who is unwilling to listen or discuss respond

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t judge. I just don’t play with them.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"And if you look to the left you will see this topic that we get every day.

My stance though is I’d rather not meet them. I am In a relationship and it took me a lot to open up a discussion about what I wanted and needed so why others can’t do that is beyond me

Because all the talking in the world won't make a partner who is unwilling to listen or discuss respond "

But at least they tried, is how I see it! Rather just going out and doing it alone.

Maybe If that’s the life they want for themselves and a relationship just ain’t working for them it’s time to do something about that rather than deceiving an unsuspecting party

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

"And if you look to the left you will see this topic that we get every day.

My stance though is I’d rather not meet them. I am In a relationship and it took me a lot to open up a discussion about what I wanted and needed so why others can’t do that is beyond me"

But, surely the fact that you know first hand that it took you a lot should give you an idea as to why so many people struggle with it, no?

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

The French seem to manage it quite well.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Judge not lest ye be judged.

You never know someone else's circumstances or what led them to this place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think no one should judge another person's reasons. Life is complex and perhaps if people took the time to discover instead of assuming the world would be a better place. People will do what they do, sometimes to cope, sometimes to survive, but you'll never know if you just slap a label on them.

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By *lasphemouscoupleCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

Although we aren't judgemental we will not meet anyone who hasn't got permission to play from a partner. We won't be complicit in someone else's misery.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not for me, but it's up to them what they do and how they go about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s their problem not mine. People will probably read that and think ouch. But I’ve got into many fwb situations where I have found out later that are attached.

So my only stipulation is that they are honest with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" What do I think of it?

Well noone can provide a plausible argument that its OK and noone should find it unacceptable?

Trouble is fab focuses on sex so it gets highlighted.

If you want to do something its your choice, and own it when it goes wrong! But don't expect everyone to see your perspective. If you really need everyone's approval you're going to crash and burn.

This really^

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By *moothshaftMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"Funny how it's always about guys cheating!! "

Thank you!

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By *isces WomanWoman
over a year ago

West London

Been hurt by falling madly in love with a married man. I thought he felt the same. It had to end because it couldn't progress. I now will not entertain a taken man even with her permission.

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Everyone is here for their own reason but perhaps the consequences should be considered..... and those who may inadvertently get caught up in a spiders web.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if people were less judgmental of others!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It’s their problem not mine. People will probably read that and think ouch. But I’ve got into many fwb situations where I have found out later that are attached.

So my only stipulation is that they are honest with me "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we should make the people who are cheaters wear a Big red letter A on there clothes and Put a big red A on their Fab profiles.....

So the good people of Fab can stay far away from them...

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

Absolutely not on

We come as a pair and play as a pair , end of

Some people not only want there cake , they want to eat it to !

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

Cheating men do seem to get a lot more shit than cheating women ..Double standards

..I don’t agree with cheating whatever the reason but at the same time it’s none of my business how other’s live there life’s..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think other people's business is none of my business. You'll have people who are fucking about for the ego boost and others who have been in a sexless marriage for years, with no physical contact or affection. Should those two very different groups be treated with the same contempt? I don't think they should. What about couples who have been married years, still very much in love and one becomes seriously ill, so much so that they can't have sex?

But I would never knowingly become physically involved with someone who had a partner. Simply the guilt of the partner not knowing would get to me.

We like to compartmentalise people and their relationships. Sadly real life is way more complicated than that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you married, OP?

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"What if people were less judgmental of others!?

Isn’t that rather judgmental?

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

"I think we should make the people who are cheaters wear a Big red letter A on there clothes and Put a big red A on their Fab profiles.....

So the good people of Fab can stay far away from them..."

What does the A stand for?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we find this type of dishonesty totally discusting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think we should make the people who are cheaters wear a Big red letter A on there clothes and Put a big red A on their Fab profiles.....

So the good people of Fab can stay far away from them...

What does the A stand for?"

Adulterer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

adulterer i was tempted to say asshole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think we should make the people who are cheaters wear a Big red letter A on there clothes and Put a big red A on their Fab profiles.....

So the good people of Fab can stay far away from them...

What does the A stand for?

Adulterer?

Yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok folk what is your thoughts on this

what do you think od married folk doing this behind the others back?"
I think it’s truly shocking ! And hope I don’t get caught !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if the husband found out? It's not just men going behind their partner's back.

Very well said x

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Its not our place to police the lives of others. We have both been broken hearted in the past by unfaithful partners. But we also understand the world is not black and white. And how sad it must be to be in a relationship where you dont feel free to be who you are. We tend to pick up people in clubs. Generally (especially given our past history) this is not an attractive feature but we don't go about asking people. We have been surprised by the amount of people we've met doing it behind their patners backs and how many of them have been women. It is a sad side of the game often for both halves of the couple in question. Which I know is controversial to show sympathy and not condoning cheating. But not everyone cheating is a totally selfish cold ass player. Often its just about a relationship that is not functioning properly, a lack of a certain connection or someone who is not free to express themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What if the husband found out? It's not just men going behind their partner's back.

Very well said x"

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By *oachman 9CoolMan
over a year ago

derby

"Although we aren't judgemental we will not meet anyone who hasn't got permission to play from a partner. We won't be complicit in someone else's misery.

"
But how do you (really) know they have had permission from a partner to play Its their word only.

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By *omesticflightMan
over a year ago

Burton-on-Trent

Not my monkeys, not my circus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We ask the wife to call us or call her no one has yet taken up the offer

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