FabSwingers.com forum: different levels in couple

By *exandthesuburbans83 OP Couple
over a year ago

EASTBOURNE

hi all.

Any one ever experienced a situation where one member of the couple is more confident than the other and has slightly different limits. We are new ish but one is more happy for full whereas the other is more happy with soft at the mo.

We talk openly about it and agreed we will move at the lower limits because we both need to be 100% comfy at all times. but obviously there is some feeling of letting the other down if both dont get to the same place. Anyone been through this and any advice as it would be good to hear from both sides. We are not miles apart but obviously we would both like to be on the same page. Have any couples maybe started at one position but then upped the limits and surprised themselves?

Thanks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We've always gone with the attitude that we move at the pace of the person who wants to take things the slowest. There are certain things I'd like to do that Mr N wouldn't like so we don't do them and vice versa. Nobody is letting anybody down, they are simply respecting each other and their relationship.

I'd always say take things slowly. Why would the person who loves you want you to do something you're uncomfortable with?

Enjoy your journey

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eachesAndCream99Couple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Cardiff just off the M4

We are similar and will go to the lower level and at that pace to make sure we are both happy. We are both very honest with our desires, so there is clarity and no ambiguity and that allows the conversation to flow and the clear understanding or both boundaries

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exandthesuburbans83 OP Couple
over a year ago

EASTBOURNE

Thanks guys for the replies. Sounds similar to us then which is good as we have agreed to always go at the lower end of us or anyone we are with. Just can't wait for the next encounter. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Thanks guys for the replies. Sounds similar to us then which is good as we have agreed to always go at the lower end of us or anyone we are with. Just can't wait for the next encounter. X"

There's no normal in this. You have to do what's best for you and your relationship.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

We always begin at the lower limits, but sometimes your limits change after an experience and other times they don't. Keep an open mind and open and honest communication

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I think that it's quite normal for couples to have different boundaries.

I can only agree with comments above to take things st your own pace and stick to boundaries you are both happy with.

Good communication between you and those you meet is important.

Just take things slowly and enjoy the experience.

Plenty of couples are happy to stick with soft swap.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"We've always gone with the attitude that we move at the pace of the person who wants to take things the slowest. There are certain things I'd like to do that Mr N wouldn't like so we don't do them and vice versa. Nobody is letting anybody down, they are simply respecting each other and their relationship.

I'd always say take things slowly. Why would the person who loves you want you to do something you're uncomfortable with?

Enjoy your journey

Agreeing (yet again!) with Nicecouple

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread