FabSwingers.com forum: Ladies ONLY ......

By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Think twice you silly boys....... Ladies only....

Women ! ( This is for my own research here based on a theory that is building in my bonce )

When you and a male are in dispute , what are the three main things he will say to discredit you and what you say?

Think carefully now. No messin ....... K ?

Go.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Like most crimes .. follow the money

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Like most crimes .. follow the money"

You just couldn't let it lie ........

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

are you stupid?

I never even said that ya mad bitch

Oh shut up, you ain't got a clue what you're on about

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"are you stupid?

I never even said that ya mad bitch

Oh shut up, you ain't got a clue what you're on about "

Oh, and it was best to say nothing and lock myself in the loo for a while

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Try to imply I'm just being emotional/ irrational.

Say I wouldn't understand.

Appeal to the authority of another man to show that he's right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Him: Are you sure that was meant? Me: Fuck off.

Him: Are you sure you meant that? Me: Fuck off.

Him: I’m sure you didn’t mean that. Me: Ffs FUCK OFF.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Try to imply I'm just being emotional/ irrational.

Say I wouldn't understand.

Appeal to the authority of another man to show that he's right."

Yeah, I'll swap one of mine out for blaming it on hormones or sensitivity because of being female

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Depends on yhe man. If they're a decent guy there are no three main things as they dispute me with relevant facts or points of view.

Though as you say discredit you and what you say, twats will call you over emotional or say you need to calm down, make some sort of reference to feminism or your political leanings or simply rule the whole thing unimportant and try to make you look silly for being involved in a dispute over it in the first place despite the fact that they also were.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Try to imply I'm just being emotional/ irrational.

Say I wouldn't understand.

Appeal to the authority of another man to show that he's right.

Yeah, I'll swap one of mine out for blaming it on hormones or sensitivity because of being female "

Yeah periods are definitely a subset of irrational

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Depends on yhe man. If they're a decent guy there are no three main things as they dispute me with relevant facts or points of view.

Or deny facts. Gaslighting is fun.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

PEOPLE say such an such about you

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Try to imply I'm just being emotional/ irrational.

Say I wouldn't understand.

Appeal to the authority of another man to show that he's right.

Yeah, I'll swap one of mine out for blaming it on hormones or sensitivity because of being female

Yeah periods are definitely a subset of irrational

I still get those comments and I haven't had one for 5 years

. Then I'm the one being embarrassing when I say so even though they brought it up in the first place.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"PEOPLE say such an such about you"

You're just refusing exclusion .....

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Do you mean "discredit you" or are you actually talking about a man putting his side of the story?

As a guy who was in a long-term abusive relationship, I resent the implication that when I defended myself verbally I was trying to discredit my ex. I wasn't. I was trying to be honest. I was trying to get her to understand there are two sides to many stories. I was trying to explain she wasn't right about everything all the time. I failed on every count, by the way.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Try to imply I'm just being emotional/ irrational.

Say I wouldn't understand.

Appeal to the authority of another man to show that he's right.

Yeah, I'll swap one of mine out for blaming it on hormones or sensitivity because of being female

Yeah periods are definitely a subset of irrational

I still get those comments and I haven't had one for 5 years

. Then I'm the one being embarrassing when I say so even though they brought it up in the first place. "

Periods are icky unless it helps their argument

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That I am over reacting, emotional, hormonal or I dont understand because I am a woman

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Do you mean "discredit you" or are you actually talking about a man putting his side of the story?

I get it. I'm sorry.

Abuse and manipulation absolutely happens towards and by all genders.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"Do you mean "discredit you" or are you actually talking about a man putting his side of the story?

Or did she just fail to listen?

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

"PEOPLE say such an such about you

You're just refusing exclusion .....

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Do you mean "discredit you" or are you actually talking about a man putting his side of the story?

I meant..... discredit you......

I'm aware men go through similar. I'm asking females for a reason.

I don't really mind how many men respond. I just won't be counting what they say

into the women's responses.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Ummmm, S never does. He just sticks to facts (as he understands them) and repeats them ad nauseum until I give up or totally lose my temper. Then he blanks me/doesn't talk to me and he's very good at being stubborn.

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By *rink Me xxWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

"Youre fucking mental you are!" "Youre imagining things!" "Youre reading too much into it" Ive had these a few times. Funnily enough, 2 different men and both times I was correct about my suspicions of cheating lol

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Ummmm, S never does. He just sticks to facts (as he understands them) and repeats them ad nauseum until I give up or totally lose my temper. Then he blanks me/doesn't talk to me and he's very good at being stubborn. "

This sounds like me

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

Nice cheery opener to aspects of coercive control OP. What is the idea in your bonce? That public listing of individual bullying is *not* socially devisive? Agendas on a postcard to... (profile hidden)

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

This sounds like me"

There are indeed some similarities between S and your good self, Swing

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Nice cheery opener to aspects of coercive control OP. What is the idea in your bonce? That public listing of individual bullying is *not* socially devisive? Agendas on a postcard to... (profile hidden)

Don't doubt Granny. She's one of the good ones.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Don't doubt Granny. She's one of the good ones. "

So many end of year reports..... it has to take its toll eventually

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Don't doubt Granny. She's one of the good ones.

So many end of year reports..... it has to take its toll eventually

Cheeky mare

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

Surely the more we talk about bullying the more it can bring people together, not divide them.

Hiding things doesn't help, but knowing you're not alone really does.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You dont know what you're talking about

You make stuff up

You've always been a liar

You're mental

Everyone knows youre crazy

You expect too much

Thats always been your problem ( insert myriad of my problems)

Whats wrong with you?

I could go on...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm never wrong, so there's no dispute granny

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Surely the more we talk about bullying the more it can bring people together, not divide them.

Hiding things doesn't help, but knowing you're not alone really does.

If we talk about it, we bring the tactics into the open. Sunlight disinfects.

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By *ranny-Crumpet OP Woman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I'm never wrong, so there's no dispute granny

I knew you wouldn't be

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I had a particular ex who made every disagreement into such a huge drama that usually resulted in a complete character assassination of me that eventually I just didn't raise any problem as it wasn't worth it.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I had a particular ex who made every disagreement into such a huge drama that usually resulted in a complete character assassination of me that eventually I just didn't raise any problem as it wasn't worth it. "

God I've been there.

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

God I've been there."

And yet men wonder why women do the "I'm fine" thing. It took me a long time to get back to my naggy self

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

God I've been there.

And yet men wonder why women do the "I'm fine" thing. It took me a long time to get back to my naggy self

. "

"It's better for me to seethe than have you overreact".

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By *luebellRacerCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

I wouldn't say discredit me, he tries to make me see rationally...

"We're both tired" (we usually are)

"Let it go, it's not that big a deal" (it's usually not, I'm a perfectionist and let things bother me)

"I'm not doing this right now" (we need a time out, and we come back calm and rational)

I've got a good egg

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By *ecretlivesCouple
over a year ago

FABWatch HQ

Surely the more we talk about bullying the more it can bring people together, not divide them.

Hiding things doesn't help, but knowing you're not alone really does.

If we talk about it, we bring the tactics into the open. Sunlight disinfects."

Agreed. Openess is absolutely part of healing (though a swinging site is a challenging forum for therapy). Bullying is the not the sole perogative of men. People who bully use the same techniques and phrases. There is more strength in realising the similarities than beginning a discussion with an exclusion that undermines the conclusion.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Surely the more we talk about bullying the more it can bring people together, not divide them.

Hiding things doesn't help, but knowing you're not alone really does.

If we talk about it, we bring the tactics into the open. Sunlight disinfects.

The exclusion isn't mine.

Although I think bullying tactics can be gendered. Not saying anyone bullies more than anyone else, but... It's not like we tell men that they're irrational because they're on the rag, is it?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I should caveat this by saying neither of my partners do this but the joyous men I've dated/worked with before have uttered such delights as:

- you wouldn't understand/you've got it wrong because men and women think differently, men are more rational apparently.

- you're hormonal and obviously not thinking straight (even though I was not, it wasn't even near my period I was just calling out twattery).

Actually I'm sticking with two because those are the main ones and the others are variants on that theme.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Are you due on?

You’re crazy.

You just don’t trust me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It was just a joke,cant you take a joke?

I never said that!

Are you due on? That was the one that would make me want to throw things, especially if I was

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London

That’s not what happened/was said.

Are you hormonal/d*unk/mental/picking a fight?

I refuse to argue/I’m not doing this.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

You've been tidying up again ...I can't find anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You took it the wrong way

I can't help it if you feel that way but it's not my fault

If you took my words that way, it's your fault.

You're overreacting

You're not listening/understanding

You don't/won't/couldn't possibly get it

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

*Why do you push me/make me act this way (not me i'm up for a quiet life)

*I did say (totally never said)

*would shout me down (until I no longer cared)

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"Time of the month?"

"Oh yeah, that's right, I'm wrong again"

Anything said in a voice which implies that I'm a child.

I must say this doesn't apply to all men. But these are recurring patterns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*Why do you push me/make me act this way (not me i'm up for a quiet life)

*I did say (totally never said)

*would shout me down (until I no longer cared)

Same

. Added to bullying me until I lost the confidence in myself.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"*Why do you push me/make me act this way (not me i'm up for a quiet life)

*I did say (totally never said)

*would shout me down (until I no longer cared)

Same

. Added to bullying me until I lost the confidence in myself."

For me too and it was a long hard fight to get back to 'me' again. And I will never ever go back there again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*Why do you push me/make me act this way (not me i'm up for a quiet life)

*I did say (totally never said)

*would shout me down (until I no longer cared)

Same

. Added to bullying me until I lost the confidence in myself.

For me too and it was a long hard fight to get back to 'me' again. And I will never ever go back there again."

Same here. I’m still doubting myself at times, and still feel the fear if I speak up. I’m very lucky I have someone who is completely awesome and I can say anything to him, which is helping build my confidence again.

I’m so sorry you went through it too.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"*Why do you push me/make me act this way (not me i'm up for a quiet life)

*I did say (totally never said)

*would shout me down (until I no longer cared)

Same

. Added to bullying me until I lost the confidence in myself.

For me too and it was a long hard fight to get back to 'me' again. And I will never ever go back there again."

I'm a kintsugi pot. I've been broken but I'm made more beautiful in the way I'm brought back together again.

And stronger, too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Him....silence

Me ...please talk to me

Him ...silence

Me.... but we need to talk about this

Him....just leave me alone

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I can't rem_mber any occasions whrre I have had problems with being talked down to, purely because of being a woman.

If I did, I would tell them that any argument that is simply misogynistic is irrelevant, and insist the discussion is based on facts.

I'm more than willing to stand up for myself and will not be bullied. One manager tried and ended up apologising when I pulled him up on it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*Why do you push me/make me act this way (not me i'm up for a quiet life)

*I did say (totally never said)

*would shout me down (until I no longer cared)

Same

. Added to bullying me until I lost the confidence in myself.

For me too and it was a long hard fight to get back to 'me' again. And I will never ever go back there again.

I'm a kintsugi pot. I've been broken but I'm made more beautiful in the way I'm brought back together again.

And stronger, too."

That’s beautiful

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"*Why do you push me/make me act this way (not me i'm up for a quiet life)

*I did say (totally never said)

*would shout me down (until I no longer cared)

Same

. Added to bullying me until I lost the confidence in myself.

For me too and it was a long hard fight to get back to 'me' again. And I will never ever go back there again.

I’m so sorry you went through it too. "

I really sorry that you went through it too..it's such an awful place to be in!

I don't think about it often, it was a long time ago. I'm glad you have found someone special and me well, I have found my voice xx

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"*Why do you push me/make me act this way (not me i'm up for a quiet life)

*I did say (totally never said)

*would shout me down (until I no longer cared)

Same

. Added to bullying me until I lost the confidence in myself.

For me too and it was a long hard fight to get back to 'me' again. And I will never ever go back there again.

I'm a kintsugi pot. I've been broken but I'm made more beautiful in the way I'm brought back together again.

And stronger, too.

That’s beautiful

That really is beautiful xx

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

"*Why do you push me/make me act this way (not me i'm up for a quiet life)

*I did say (totally never said)

*would shout me down (until I no longer cared)

Same

. Added to bullying me until I lost the confidence in myself.

For me too and it was a long hard fight to get back to 'me' again. And I will never ever go back there again.

I’m so sorry you went through it too.

I really sorry that you went through it too..it's such an awful place to be in!

I don't think about it often, it was a long time ago. I'm glad you have found someone special and me well, I have found my voice xx"

And if you ever get a sore throat, I'll always be there to give you a throat sweet so your voice comes back ASAP

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By *atalie..Woman
over a year ago

Bolton

I'm telling you the truth

My friend was there he knows what happened.

You fucking said that I could, I was there when you said it.

Why do you always listen to your friends?

Oh here we go don't get me mixed up with your ex.

Why do you always bring up the past it's done and gone.

You have me confused with your ex!

If you don't trust me well there's no point in being together, YOU do trust me don't you?

You know I love you,I wouldn't hurt you like that,I know what you have been through.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

"*Why do you push me/make me act this way (not me i'm up for a quiet life)

*I did say (totally never said)

*would shout me down (until I no longer cared)

Same

. Added to bullying me until I lost the confidence in myself.

For me too and it was a long hard fight to get back to 'me' again. And I will never ever go back there again.

I’m so sorry you went through it too.

I really sorry that you went through it too..it's such an awful place to be in!

I don't think about it often, it was a long time ago. I'm glad you have found someone special and me well, I have found my voice xx

And if you ever get a sore throat, I'll always be there to give you a throat sweet so your voice comes back ASAP "

Of that I have no doubt

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Him....silence

Me ...please talk to me

Him ...silence

Me.... but we need to talk about this

Him....just leave me alone"

Christ I hate this

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