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Red flags

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

When dating what would you say were red flags or warning signs that you should be aware of.

Like if your goal is to have a relationship what signs should tell you that the one you’re interested in isn’t a good choice.

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By *ranimallxl5Man
over a year ago

Winchester


"When dating what would you say were red flags or warning signs that you should be aware of.

Like if your goal is to have a relationship what signs should tell you that the one you’re interested in isn’t a good choice. "

They are only online at certain times and they never want you to meet their mates

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they don't eat meat

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Not really talking about fab but more conventional dating. Although the online thing could apply to dating sites I suppose.

I think someone that has thousands of friends on Facebook and constantly adding random girls is a good warning sign as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Inconsistency between words and actions. Often breaking given words or promise. Saying things for effect to impress you, but not following through when they are needed on more than one occassion.

Just ask yourself what are your priorities in life in partner and dont waste time on those who have different ones. There are things to be compromised on or ignored as human faults but if its something crucial it's just a mutual hurt expected long term.

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

Unable to take calls during the evening for various reasons.

Unwilling to do a quick video chat to confirm who they actually are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go with your gut instinct.

If something doesnt feel right, then it probably isnt.

If they want sex on a first date, bin them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Go with your gut instinct.

If something doesnt feel right, then it probably isnt. "

So this ^^

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Constantly talking about their ex.

Asking questions about your ex.

Conversation always turns sexual.

Will text constantly during the day but silent after 5 and weekends.

Excuses why unable to Skype/meet.

Personally, if my spider senses start tingling and my bullshit monitor starts ringing I don't waste my time.

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By *oxychicWoman
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

Gut instinct , is a big thing often ppl ignore it in the romance side if things

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

A string of "crazy" exes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Playing victim.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What about this one then as a red flag.

Had a guy who would constantly say I was gonna end up falling in love with him and saying things like don’t go falling in love with him cos it always happens!! Now at first glance he just sounds like he’s being a bit cocksure or blowing his own trumpet but he’s actually telling you what he does and what he’s done before!

It’s as if by warning you not to fall in love it’s not their fault you get feelings for them. Doesn’t matter that they give you their time and continue to form an emotional connection with you and continue to pursue you hard.

I know if a guy ever said anything like that to me again I’d cease communication straight away!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What about this one then as a red flag.

Had a guy who would constantly say I was gonna end up falling in love with him and saying things like don’t go falling in love with him cos it always happens!! Now at first glance he just sounds like he’s being a bit cocksure or blowing his own trumpet but he’s actually telling you what he does and what he’s done before!

It’s as if by warning you not to fall in love it’s not their fault you get feelings for them. Doesn’t matter that they give you their time and continue to form an emotional connection with you and continue to pursue you hard.

I know if a guy ever said anything like that to me again I’d cease communication straight away!"

And after they would say.. oh I warned you. And washed their hands off. You shouldn't make yourself emotionally available if you arent prepared for emotions.

Shudder.

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area


"When dating what would you say were red flags or warning signs that you should be aware of.

Like if your goal is to have a relationship what signs should tell you that the one you’re interested in isn’t a good choice. "

They only meet in the day time and on weekdays and don't like love bites or scratches.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"What about this one then as a red flag.

Had a guy who would constantly say I was gonna end up falling in love with him and saying things like don’t go falling in love with him cos it always happens!! Now at first glance he just sounds like he’s being a bit cocksure or blowing his own trumpet but he’s actually telling you what he does and what he’s done before!

It’s as if by warning you not to fall in love it’s not their fault you get feelings for them. Doesn’t matter that they give you their time and continue to form an emotional connection with you and continue to pursue you hard.

I know if a guy ever said anything like that to me again I’d cease communication straight away!"

There wouldn't be another date if he said it the first time: why would I waste my time with someone who has already made it clear I was just a temporary distraction, the latest in a long line of temporary distractions?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What about this one then as a red flag.

Had a guy who would constantly say I was gonna end up falling in love with him and saying things like don’t go falling in love with him cos it always happens!! Now at first glance he just sounds like he’s being a bit cocksure or blowing his own trumpet but he’s actually telling you what he does and what he’s done before!

It’s as if by warning you not to fall in love it’s not their fault you get feelings for them. Doesn’t matter that they give you their time and continue to form an emotional connection with you and continue to pursue you hard.

I know if a guy ever said anything like that to me again I’d cease communication straight away!

And after they would say.. oh I warned you. And washed their hands off. You shouldn't make yourself emotionally available if you arent prepared for emotions.

Shudder. "

Exactly that!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What about this one then as a red flag.

Had a guy who would constantly say I was gonna end up falling in love with him and saying things like don’t go falling in love with him cos it always happens!! Now at first glance he just sounds like he’s being a bit cocksure or blowing his own trumpet but he’s actually telling you what he does and what he’s done before!

It’s as if by warning you not to fall in love it’s not their fault you get feelings for them. Doesn’t matter that they give you their time and continue to form an emotional connection with you and continue to pursue you hard.

I know if a guy ever said anything like that to me again I’d cease communication straight away!"

Lucky escape there!! Sounds like a narcissist to me. That's where it all starts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Their only focus is you. That won’t last forever...then you’ll get to see the real them.

Too needy. Do you want to spend your whole life focused on their requirements or both of yours.

They don’t have any real interests. Oh boy, looks like you’ll have to entertain them daily.

And lastly, their friendships with others. How do they interact and treat them.

Oh I forgot...do they have a password on their phone? Well dodgy

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Trying to make you feel bad about your actions forever questioning them.

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By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

They have a basement and the door is always locked..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When dating what would you say were red flags or warning signs that you should be aware of.

Like if your goal is to have a relationship what signs should tell you that the one you’re interested in isn’t a good choice. "

When she asks for pictures of my arsehole

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Too intense in the very beginning, agreeing with everything I think and liking everything I like, flakiness, being inconsiderate of my time, apparently having lots of "crazy exs", being pushy when arranging to meet up, going suddenly very quiet for long periods with no explanation and reappearing as if nothing happened, lots of inconsistencies in what they say, seeming to want to keep you secret too far into dating.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest


"What about this one then as a red flag.

Had a guy who would constantly say I was gonna end up falling in love with him and saying things like don’t go falling in love with him cos it always happens!! Now at first glance he just sounds like he’s being a bit cocksure or blowing his own trumpet but he’s actually telling you what he does and what he’s done before!

It’s as if by warning you not to fall in love it’s not their fault you get feelings for them. Doesn’t matter that they give you their time and continue to form an emotional connection with you and continue to pursue you hard.

I know if a guy ever said anything like that to me again I’d cease communication straight away!"

You sure know how to attract them.

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

Yawn in front of them if they don’t yawn back I’d be worried

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys who only want to chat when they’re horny!

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place


"Not really talking about fab but more conventional dating. Although the online thing could apply to dating sites I suppose.

I think someone that has thousands of friends on Facebook and constantly adding random girls is a good warning sign as well. "

If they still use Facebook is a red flag

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By *ic_khan2341Man
over a year ago

Manchester


"When dating what would you say were red flags or warning signs that you should be aware of.

Like if your goal is to have a relationship what signs should tell you that the one you’re interested in isn’t a good choice. "

A labour voting veggie

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place


"Yawn in front of them if they don’t yawn back I’d be worried "

Yeah, and if they look at themselves in mirrors or shop windows at every opportunity but they have no reflection!

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

For me it’s if they bad talk exes and parents.

If they keep checking their phone.

You have a few dates but never get to go round theirs (to collect/drop them off etc) and they get a bit edgy about it.

If they are too handsy.

They are rude to waiting staff in restaurant/bars.

They get too emotionally invested too soon.

They get clingy.

They need constant attention and adoration.

They want to see me all the time.

If they won’t add you to Social media after a good while of dating.

They never leave their phone out/it’s always on silent.

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas


"Yawn in front of them if they don’t yawn back I’d be worried

Yeah, and if they look at themselves in mirrors or shop windows at every opportunity but they have no reflection! "

Run just run

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

If they don’t have opinions of they’re own and are too compliant, always agreeing with you.

disagreement, debate and discussions is healthy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got some advice recently....the things that cause red flags in the beginning will ultimately be the things you leave for in the end.

Great advice however I'm shit at taking on board Red flags.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip


"When dating what would you say were red flags or warning signs that you should be aware of.

Like if your goal is to have a relationship what signs should tell you that the one you’re interested in isn’t a good choice. "

If they only want things their way. A relationship should be give and take. I got into a relationship that was take take take and it was a disaster.

Look out for people who are unappreciative of the effort you put in as if they are entitled to it. "Please" and "thank you" are not just social conventions. They show somebody recognises when you have done something for them. If that verbal recognition is absent it could be they don't understand you are putting effort into a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they believe in horoscopes

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Going into any relationship is a risk. A red flag for me would be if I caught myself thinking "he would be ideal but for (insert any characteristic here)". If they aren't what you want as they are, they aren't what you want

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place


"Going into any relationship is a risk. A red flag for me would be if I caught myself thinking "he would be ideal but for (insert any characteristic here)". If they aren't what you want as they are, they aren't what you want "

I sort of agree with that but relationships are also about compromise. If you wait for too long for the exact right person they may never appear. But I agree that you shouldn’t aim to want to change someone.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford


"When dating what would you say were red flags or warning signs that you should be aware of.

Like if your goal is to have a relationship what signs should tell you that the one you’re interested in isn’t a good choice. "

There’s an online course called The Freedom Programme, it helps people spot red flags.

You’re a lovely person and all that but I bet you spend the whole time nodding and saying “yes, the fucker”

Still worth doing the course though - it’s not fair that you keep meeting people like that. Hope it works out for you

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"When dating what would you say were red flags or warning signs that you should be aware of.

Like if your goal is to have a relationship what signs should tell you that the one you’re interested in isn’t a good choice.

There’s an online course called The Freedom Programme, it helps people spot red flags.

You’re a lovely person and all that but I bet you spend the whole time nodding and saying “yes, the fucker”

Still worth doing the course though - it’s not fair that you keep meeting people like that. Hope it works out for you "

Ooh cheers. That's something I think a lot of us could do with

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

If you’ve been in an abusive relationship once, you’re statistically more likely to be in another one.

Knowledge is power

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Going into any relationship is a risk. A red flag for me would be if I caught myself thinking "he would be ideal but for (insert any characteristic here)". If they aren't what you want as they are, they aren't what you want

I sort of agree with that but relationships are also about compromise. If you wait for too long for the exact right person they may never appear. But I agree that you shouldn’t aim to want to change someone. "

I think we're in total agreement on that. The best person to be in a relationship with is someone you accept, warts and all. There'd be no hope for me otherwise I'm as warty as you get .

What I mean is, if in the early stages they get on your nerves for any reason or have a characteristic you really don'tllike ten years down the line you can magnify those feelings by 1,000,000.

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By *irtydanMan
over a year ago

Blackpool


"Too intense in the very beginning, agreeing with everything I think and liking everything I like, flakiness, being inconsiderate of my time, apparently having lots of "crazy exs", being pushy when arranging to meet up, going suddenly very quiet for long periods with no explanation and reappearing as if nothing happened, lots of inconsistencies in what they say, seeming to want to keep you secret too far into dating. "

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place


"Going into any relationship is a risk. A red flag for me would be if I caught myself thinking "he would be ideal but for (insert any characteristic here)". If they aren't what you want as they are, they aren't what you want

I sort of agree with that but relationships are also about compromise. If you wait for too long for the exact right person they may never appear. But I agree that you shouldn’t aim to want to change someone.

I think we're in total agreement on that. The best person to be in a relationship with is someone you accept, warts and all. There'd be no hope for me otherwise I'm as warty as you get .

What I mean is, if in the early stages they get on your nerves for any reason or have a characteristic you really don'tllike ten years down the line you can magnify those feelings by 1,000,000. "

We are in concert then! I completely agree

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By *iggydog78Man
over a year ago

London

A wedding ring is not a good start....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Though don't forget, entirely focusing on the other person being suitable for you, may make you the entitled one! We're responsible for our own actions. Endless expectations of others can be the problem?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Go with your gut instinct.

If something doesnt feel right, then it probably isnt.

If they want sex on a first date, bin them! "

I often want sex on a first date

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Go with your gut instinct.

If something doesnt feel right, then it probably isnt.

So this ^^ "

Yes this all day long. Nobody is perfect but when they do something and you just get that little twinge of 'hey, what was that' always, always believe it first time.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Go with your gut instinct.

If something doesnt feel right, then it probably isnt.

If they want sex on a first date, bin them!

I often want sex on a first date "

Me too . Mr N and I had sex on our first date, 40 years ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What about this one then as a red flag.

Had a guy who would constantly say I was gonna end up falling in love with him and saying things like don’t go falling in love with him cos it always happens!! Now at first glance he just sounds like he’s being a bit cocksure or blowing his own trumpet but he’s actually telling you what he does and what he’s done before!

It’s as if by warning you not to fall in love it’s not their fault you get feelings for them. Doesn’t matter that they give you their time and continue to form an emotional connection with you and continue to pursue you hard.

I know if a guy ever said anything like that to me again I’d cease communication straight away!"

I feel bad now because I want to challenge this but I reckon I'll get beaten up over it . I've actually said this before for genuine reason, but only on fab I must stress and only when I've been looking for casual fun, NOT for general long term dating because that would just be silly. My experience of fab is that I have encountered many women saying they just want a no drama shag and they have not told me of their true intentions or the true reason they arrived at fab in the first place and that reason being that they were indeed looking for love and attention because something is missing in their world.

I recently had a sex date with a "happily married woman, just looking to expand her sexual horizons", who I'd made my emotional limits very clear to, and after just ONE DATE she was talking of having feelings for me and wanting to see me weekly, go on dinner dates, travel dates, wanting to cook dinner for me at her place and mist importantly if all talking of leaving her husband! One meet ffs! Whoa married frustrated lady - I agreed to a sex date, nothing more, and I thought your "happily married" status might actually make that even clearer for us, I did NOT agree to be the cause of your life and status changes or to replace your husband! Now what the actual fuck is that all about? So if as a half arsed warning I was to say please don't fall in love with me to a new person I begin chatting to casually on fab next week, because I genuinely don't want anyone's love atm, where's the harm in that? I think some folk haven't thought fab through when they joined and are looking for others to blame for their own choices at times.....

Rather than look for red flags, why not put out your own green flags and be clear whether you want to date, keep it casual or if you just don't know, which is also fine? Then your potential suitor can make his or her educated choice, innit....

If I use "you're not going to fall in love with me", then I'm using it as a filter - answer me honestly and I'll make my choice, no mind games I'm just saying what I don't want. Same as if I said "you don't like pegging do you?" and you answered "no I hate it", then I wouldn't expect to feel your strappon nudging my bumhole on our second date now would I? Thanks for listening....

Plant your own GREEN FLAGS ppl and stay positive....

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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago

London


"When dating what would you say were red flags or warning signs that you should be aware of.

Like if your goal is to have a relationship what signs should tell you that the one you’re interested in isn’t a good choice. "

When he says he’s not interested in a relationship, when you both talk openly and candidly. When he doesn’t even want to talk only and candidly. When he isn’t only engaged with you sexually in terms of his proactive attention.

Read this the other day;

Was the sex with your ex really that good, or was it that they starved you of intimacy anywhere but the bedroom that it seemed that way?

I read it a few times and then had an epiphany.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Touchy about being asked about certain things, defensive etc. It's fine to have things we're uncomfortable with in our past but equally it's fine to be honest with partners, even if we still have an emotional impact from them. It's also fine to just share what we are happy to share, which can change over time.

I'd be cautious if someone had periods when they were inexplicably frequently unavailable.

Someone who is emotionally distant and potentially cold would be a pause for concern for me.

I'd try to be rational in my thinking about someone as just our emotional feeling can lead us away from someone who doesn't fit our past patterns. It's often good to explore new pastures

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

They are interested in my financial background of myself and parents. Not just about work but going much deeper. You get the sense they are after a meal ticket. I had the number of a friends single friend and called her up. In the first few sentences all she seemed bothered about was the number of rooms in my home and the car I drove!

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By *ic_khan2341Man
over a year ago

Manchester

If they are financially inept or excessively concerned

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"What about this one then as a red flag.

Had a guy who would constantly say I was gonna end up falling in love with him and saying things like don’t go falling in love with him cos it always happens!! Now at first glance he just sounds like he’s being a bit cocksure or blowing his own trumpet but he’s actually telling you what he does and what he’s done before!

It’s as if by warning you not to fall in love it’s not their fault you get feelings for them. Doesn’t matter that they give you their time and continue to form an emotional connection with you and continue to pursue you hard.

I know if a guy ever said anything like that to me again I’d cease communication straight away!

I feel bad now because I want to challenge this but I reckon I'll get beaten up over it . I've actually said this before for genuine reason, but only on fab I must stress and only when I've been looking for casual fun, NOT for general long term dating because that would just be silly. My experience of fab is that I have encountered many women saying they just want a no drama shag and they have not told me of their true intentions or the true reason they arrived at fab in the first place and that reason being that they were indeed looking for love and attention because something is missing in their world.

I recently had a sex date with a "happily married woman, just looking to expand her sexual horizons", who I'd made my emotional limits very clear to, and after just ONE DATE she was talking of having feelings for me and wanting to see me weekly, go on dinner dates, travel dates, wanting to cook dinner for me at her place and mist importantly if all talking of leaving her husband! One meet ffs! Whoa married frustrated lady - I agreed to a sex date, nothing more, and I thought your "happily married" status might actually make that even clearer for us, I did NOT agree to be the cause of your life and status changes or to replace your husband! Now what the actual fuck is that all about? So if as a half arsed warning I was to say please don't fall in love with me to a new person I begin chatting to casually on fab next week, because I genuinely don't want anyone's love atm, where's the harm in that? I think some folk haven't thought fab through when they joined and are looking for others to blame for their own choices at times.....

Rather than look for red flags, why not put out your own green flags and be clear whether you want to date, keep it casual or if you just don't know, which is also fine? Then your potential suitor can make his or her educated choice, innit....

If I use "you're not going to fall in love with me", then I'm using it as a filter - answer me honestly and I'll make my choice, no mind games I'm just saying what I don't want. Same as if I said "you don't like pegging do you?" and you answered "no I hate it", then I wouldn't expect to feel your strappon nudging my bumhole on our second date now would I? Thanks for listening....

Plant your own GREEN FLAGS ppl and stay positive.... "

It's not the same thing though.

If you're single, on a dating site you're open to the possibility there could be something more. If straight off the bat you're told not to fall in love then they've already made it clear they don't see you as a long term interest.

That said, meeting a married person the given is you're a distraction so why the need to assume anything more? That said if after one encounter there was talk of walks on the beach, cosy nights in on the sofa watching Brigitte Jones' Diary...I'd run for the hills!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What about this one then as a red flag.

Had a guy who would constantly say I was gonna end up falling in love with him and saying things like don’t go falling in love with him cos it always happens!! Now at first glance he just sounds like he’s being a bit cocksure or blowing his own trumpet but he’s actually telling you what he does and what he’s done before!

It’s as if by warning you not to fall in love it’s not their fault you get feelings for them. Doesn’t matter that they give you their time and continue to form an emotional connection with you and continue to pursue you hard.

I know if a guy ever said anything like that to me again I’d cease communication straight away!

I feel bad now because I want to challenge this but I reckon I'll get beaten up over it . I've actually said this before for genuine reason, but only on fab I must stress and only when I've been looking for casual fun, NOT for general long term dating because that would just be silly. My experience of fab is that I have encountered many women saying they just want a no drama shag and they have not told me of their true intentions or the true reason they arrived at fab in the first place and that reason being that they were indeed looking for love and attention because something is missing in their world.

I recently had a sex date with a "happily married woman, just looking to expand her sexual horizons", who I'd made my emotional limits very clear to, and after just ONE DATE she was talking of having feelings for me and wanting to see me weekly, go on dinner dates, travel dates, wanting to cook dinner for me at her place and mist importantly if all talking of leaving her husband! One meet ffs! Whoa married frustrated lady - I agreed to a sex date, nothing more, and I thought your "happily married" status might actually make that even clearer for us, I did NOT agree to be the cause of your life and status changes or to replace your husband! Now what the actual fuck is that all about? So if as a half arsed warning I was to say please don't fall in love with me to a new person I begin chatting to casually on fab next week, because I genuinely don't want anyone's love atm, where's the harm in that? I think some folk haven't thought fab through when they joined and are looking for others to blame for their own choices at times.....

Rather than look for red flags, why not put out your own green flags and be clear whether you want to date, keep it casual or if you just don't know, which is also fine? Then your potential suitor can make his or her educated choice, innit....

If I use "you're not going to fall in love with me", then I'm using it as a filter - answer me honestly and I'll make my choice, no mind games I'm just saying what I don't want. Same as if I said "you don't like pegging do you?" and you answered "no I hate it", then I wouldn't expect to feel your strappon nudging my bumhole on our second date now would I? Thanks for listening....

Plant your own GREEN FLAGS ppl and stay positive....

It's not the same thing though.

If you're single, on a dating site you're open to the possibility there could be something more. If straight off the bat you're told not to fall in love then they've already made it clear they don't see you as a long term interest.

That said, meeting a married person the given is you're a distraction so why the need to assume anything more? That said if after one encounter there was talk of walks on the beach, cosy nights in on the sofa watching Brigitte Jones' Diary...I'd run for the hills!"

I know lol, and yes, run forest run for the hills! . I was just saying I've used those words on here because of such people and even to such people, when it's been clear I didn't want that level of commitment and I probably will use them again, so it should be taken in context and specific words groupings not demonised for all situations. If I was on elite, harmonious, find a husband with active sperm dating.com, then it's a different thing entirely and kinda should be blindingly obvious to those that see.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They are interested in my financial background of myself and parents. Not just about work but going much deeper. You get the sense they are after a meal ticket. I had the number of a friends single friend and called her up. In the first few sentences all she seemed bothered about was the number of rooms in my home and the car I drove!"

This seems very strange

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By *ackdaw52Man
over a year ago

Chesterfield

Marilyn Monroe quotes!

Likening herself to a Disney princess

Long fingernails. People with long nails aren't doing anything with their hands, which means they probably haven't got any hobbies or interests.

If she goes on and on about holidays but hasn't been anywhere interesting. It means she sees you as a cash machine.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What about this one then as a red flag.

Had a guy who would constantly say I was gonna end up falling in love with him and saying things like don’t go falling in love with him cos it always happens!! Now at first glance he just sounds like he’s being a bit cocksure or blowing his own trumpet but he’s actually telling you what he does and what he’s done before!

It’s as if by warning you not to fall in love it’s not their fault you get feelings for them. Doesn’t matter that they give you their time and continue to form an emotional connection with you and continue to pursue you hard.

I know if a guy ever said anything like that to me again I’d cease communication straight away!

I feel bad now because I want to challenge this but I reckon I'll get beaten up over it . I've actually said this before for genuine reason, but only on fab I must stress and only when I've been looking for casual fun, NOT for general long term dating because that would just be silly. My experience of fab is that I have encountered many women saying they just want a no drama shag and they have not told me of their true intentions or the true reason they arrived at fab in the first place and that reason being that they were indeed looking for love and attention because something is missing in their world.

I recently had a sex date with a "happily married woman, just looking to expand her sexual horizons", who I'd made my emotional limits very clear to, and after just ONE DATE she was talking of having feelings for me and wanting to see me weekly, go on dinner dates, travel dates, wanting to cook dinner for me at her place and mist importantly if all talking of leaving her husband! One meet ffs! Whoa married frustrated lady - I agreed to a sex date, nothing more, and I thought your "happily married" status might actually make that even clearer for us, I did NOT agree to be the cause of your life and status changes or to replace your husband! Now what the actual fuck is that all about? So if as a half arsed warning I was to say please don't fall in love with me to a new person I begin chatting to casually on fab next week, because I genuinely don't want anyone's love atm, where's the harm in that? I think some folk haven't thought fab through when they joined and are looking for others to blame for their own choices at times.....

Rather than look for red flags, why not put out your own green flags and be clear whether you want to date, keep it casual or if you just don't know, which is also fine? Then your potential suitor can make his or her educated choice, innit....

If I use "you're not going to fall in love with me", then I'm using it as a filter - answer me honestly and I'll make my choice, no mind games I'm just saying what I don't want. Same as if I said "you don't like pegging do you?" and you answered "no I hate it", then I wouldn't expect to feel your strappon nudging my bumhole on our second date now would I? Thanks for listening....

Plant your own GREEN FLAGS ppl and stay positive.... "

Everything you just said confirms why it is a red flag and a warning to someone looking for a relationship. I’m not on about red flags for fab, I was specifically asking for red flags when dating with the view to a relationship.

If someone says oh don’t go falling in love with me now that just shows that they don’t want any emotions involved or for the other person to develop feelings therefore it’s the perfect red flag/warning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The guys who I have found have been cheats have always had a similar pattern.

So what’s app is always a good one. Not having last seen on.

Saying goodnight to you but they are still showing online

Having a second phone

Changing plans constantly

A similar pattern of availability

Forgetting there own lies

If their quick to point out a phone call as not being important. Ie it’s just my sister/ work etc

You can’t go to there house

They suggest going In your car because theirs is messy

I could go on and on. I’ve had 2 occasions in the past when guys have robbed me off as a place being theirs but it’s actually a friends oh also tooth brushes. If they live there with a house mate and that’s why you can only go for a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon but you use the loo and there is only one toothbrush you know that he’s a lying knob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*fobbed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

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By *arksxMan
over a year ago

Leicester / London


"They are interested in my financial background of myself and parents. Not just about work but going much deeper. You get the sense they are after a meal ticket. I had the number of a friends single friend and called her up. In the first few sentences all she seemed bothered about was the number of rooms in my home and the car I drove!

This seems very strange "

Obviously you've never been a mature man dating women

I've had women come out to dates without a handbag

My first question is not... How are you paying for your meal. Inlet that slide

But at least how do expect to get home tonight?

(some and I stress some) women are all about equality of the sexes... Right up and till the bill arrives.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Online at certain hours , work times or very late at night and never show their face .

Stay away from blank profiles .

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"Unable to take calls during the evening for various reasons.

Unwilling to do a quick video chat to confirm who they actually are."

Yes had a few of these on kik wont show me a live pic till the point of asking so many times they then get abusive x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When dating what would you say were red flags or warning signs that you should be aware of.

Like if your goal is to have a relationship what signs should tell you that the one you’re interested in isn’t a good choice.

There’s an online course called The Freedom Programme, it helps people spot red flags.

You’re a lovely person and all that but I bet you spend the whole time nodding and saying “yes, the fucker”

Still worth doing the course though - it’s not fair that you keep meeting people like that. Hope it works out for you "

Will have a look at that

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford


"Go with your gut instinct.

If something doesnt feel right, then it probably isnt.

If they want sex on a first date, bin them! "

Deffo this wish I'd listened to my inner voice a few times live and learn! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really is a minefield isn’t it?

Gut instinct should never be ignored, every time I’ve ignored mine in the past it’s well and truly bit me in the arse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Red flags? I’ll take a dozen please

Can I have some more of what you consider to be a red flag when it comes to dating with a view to a relationship.

NOT red flags when it comes to profiles on here.

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick


"Go with your gut instinct.

If something doesnt feel right, then it probably isnt.

If they want sex on a first date, bin them! "

I was chatting to a mate about this sex on a first date opinion the other day.

How many dates would it take before you are happy to have sex and how long do these dates usually last?

My mate firmly believe in 2 dates before sex.

My thoughts are that it's not 'that' simple, as what if you had been video chatting with someone for more time than that before you had even had your first date (quite likely at the moment) and then it went really well. Would you still not want sex and bin them if he did?

Personally, I think the time spent interacting is important, but not the number of dates.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Red flags? I’ll take a dozen please

Can I have some more of what you consider to be a red flag when it comes to dating with a view to a relationship.

NOT red flags when it comes to profiles on here. "

If they've got a hockey mask in the cupboard or a machete under the bed. If both, that's a definite no no!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Go with your gut instinct.

If something doesnt feel right, then it probably isnt.

If they want sex on a first date, bin them!

I was chatting to a mate about this sex on a first date opinion the other day.

How many dates would it take before you are happy to have sex and how long do these dates usually last?

My mate firmly believe in 2 dates before sex.

My thoughts are that it's not 'that' simple, as what if you had been video chatting with someone for more time than that before you had even had your first date (quite likely at the moment) and then it went really well. Would you still not want sex and bin them if he did?

Personally, I think the time spent interacting is important, but not the number of dates. "

Strongly believe this too. I don’t think the sex on the first physical meeting thing is a red flag.

You could shag someone the first night and be with them for 10 years or more.

You could also wait 3 months and meet many times before having sex and then never see nor hear from them again.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham


"Go with your gut instinct.

If something doesnt feel right, then it probably isnt.

If they want sex on a first date, bin them!

I was chatting to a mate about this sex on a first date opinion the other day.

How many dates would it take before you are happy to have sex and how long do these dates usually last?

My mate firmly believe in 2 dates before sex.

My thoughts are that it's not 'that' simple, as what if you had been video chatting with someone for more time than that before you had even had your first date (quite likely at the moment) and then it went really well. Would you still not want sex and bin them if he did?

Personally, I think the time spent interacting is important, but not the number of dates.

Strongly believe this too. I don’t think the sex on the first physical meeting thing is a red flag.

You could shag someone the first night and be with them for 10 years or more.

You could also wait 3 months and meet many times before having sex and then never see nor hear from them again. "

We had sex on the first date, happily together 17 years later.

What works for one person doesn't for another. Just go with your gut instinct where relationships are concerned. A persons instinct is usually right.

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By *reemindCoolMan
over a year ago

between Barnsley and Wakefield

You just described Boris Johnson even his name is not really Boris

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Go with your gut instinct.

If something doesnt feel right, then it probably isnt.

If they want sex on a first date, bin them!

I was chatting to a mate about this sex on a first date opinion the other day.

How many dates would it take before you are happy to have sex and how long do these dates usually last?

My mate firmly believe in 2 dates before sex.

My thoughts are that it's not 'that' simple, as what if you had been video chatting with someone for more time than that before you had even had your first date (quite likely at the moment) and then it went really well. Would you still not want sex and bin them if he did?

Personally, I think the time spent interacting is important, but not the number of dates.

Strongly believe this too. I don’t think the sex on the first physical meeting thing is a red flag.

You could shag someone the first night and be with them for 10 years or more.

You could also wait 3 months and meet many times before having sex and then never see nor hear from them again.

We had sex on the first date, happily together 17 years later.

What works for one person doesn't for another. Just go with your gut instinct where relationships are concerned. A persons instinct is usually right."

Absolutely agree, and I’m going to have a whole chapter dedicated to the gut feeling and it’s importance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh my what a question

And where to begin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Secrecy

Lack of respect for woman

Gas lighting

Having 2 phones but you only have his work number

He doesn’t invite you to meet his friends

The list could go on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The guys who I have found have been cheats have always had a similar pattern.

So what’s app is always a good one. Not having last seen on.

Saying goodnight to you but they are still showing online

Having a second phone

Changing plans constantly

A similar pattern of availability

Forgetting there own lies

If their quick to point out a phone call as not being important. Ie it’s just my sister/ work etc

You can’t go to there house

They suggest going In your car because theirs is messy

I could go on and on. I’ve had 2 occasions in the past when guys have robbed me off as a place being theirs but it’s actually a friends oh also tooth brushes. If they live there with a house mate and that’s why you can only go for a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon but you use the loo and there is only one toothbrush you know that he’s a lying knob "

This a good start.

However aa some one has mentioned gut instinct i agree with this but with done caution

If you are naturally a suspicions type it can cause havoc.

But also there is no smoke without fire too lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Secrecy

Lack of respect for woman

Gas lighting

Having 2 phones but you only have his work number

He doesn’t invite you to meet his friends

The list could go on "

Let it go on. The more the better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ex whether male or female was always the crazy one, not them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gut feeling.

All you need

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone on here.

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York

I'm pretty good at reading people straight away when meeting them for the first time, and I can tell if a woman is going to be drama or tipped too far over into the crazy, that's an instant red flag for me, even if they're drop dead gorgeous! I'm really chilled out and can't be doing with it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm pretty good at reading people straight away when meeting them for the first time, and I can tell if a woman is going to be drama or tipped too far over into the crazy, that's an instant red flag for me, even if they're drop dead gorgeous! I'm really chilled out and can't be doing with it."

So explain what those signs are then. Be good to hear from a Male point of view.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"When dating what would you say were red flags or warning signs that you should be aware of.

Like if your goal is to have a relationship what signs should tell you that the one you’re interested in isn’t a good choice. "

Turn up with their mummy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont have a flag system i say do what feels right instinct is the best way to know

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"When dating what would you say were red flags or warning signs that you should be aware of.

Like if your goal is to have a relationship what signs should tell you that the one you’re interested in isn’t a good choice.

Turn up with their mummy"

#NotEgyptian

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By *hatYorkLadMan
over a year ago

York


"I'm pretty good at reading people straight away when meeting them for the first time, and I can tell if a woman is going to be drama or tipped too far over into the crazy, that's an instant red flag for me, even if they're drop dead gorgeous! I'm really chilled out and can't be doing with it.

So explain what those signs are then. Be good to hear from a Male point of view. "

Kind of hard to word it but you know when you can tell what someone is like from their mannerisms, a look in their eye, if they're too full on or loud, or if they're the type who flip out over what I'd consider to be nothing and are a bit radgey.

One of my best mates girlfriends is exactly like that, she's pretty but jesus some of the dramas he has with her when we're on nights out, she'll be literally screaming in his face or sat sobbing and wailing on the pavement in front of everyone over something so stupid as he didn't go and stand with her when she went out for a cig because he was talking to a friend for a minute (she's 28). I was with him on a night out when he first started seeing her and could tell within five minutes she was like that. I couldn't be doing with that shit at all and wouldn't even entertain dating someone with that sort of personality. Full on red flags!!

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By *hisisntpofMan
over a year ago

bristol

Trust your instincts ,youll know if its right,just dont be naive,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seem to attract men with issues and rather than seeing them as warning signs (which in retrospect are abundantly clear) I end up somehow helping them then the move on to someone else.

I go with chemistry over logic even though it hasn't served me well,because I refuse to settle for mediocre

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By *unmatt888Man
over a year ago

Duns


"The ex whether male or female was always the crazy one, not them. "

Statistically, most people will have at least one ex who's crazier than they are. It's when there are lots of them that you have to worry...

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I'm pretty good at reading people straight away when meeting them for the first time, and I can tell if a woman is going to be drama or tipped too far over into the crazy, that's an instant red flag for me, even if they're drop dead gorgeous! I'm really chilled out and can't be doing with it.

So explain what those signs are then. Be good to hear from a Male point of view.

Kind of hard to word it but you know when you can tell what someone is like from their mannerisms, a look in their eye, if they're too full on or loud, or if they're the type who flip out over what I'd consider to be nothing and are a bit radgey.

One of my best mates girlfriends is exactly like that, she's pretty but jesus some of the dramas he has with her when we're on nights out, she'll be literally screaming in his face or sat sobbing and wailing on the pavement in front of everyone over something so stupid as he didn't go and stand with her when she went out for a cig because he was talking to a friend for a minute (she's 28). I was with him on a night out when he first started seeing her and could tell within five minutes she was like that. I couldn't be doing with that shit at all and wouldn't even entertain dating someone with that sort of personality. Full on red flags!! "

I don't think either of us has enough experience of different relationships to comment, but we've seen similar to this amongst friends and acquaintances. It's form of control (using pressure/emotional blackm*il) to get someone to do what you want and it's toxic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes can vouch for that. I unfortunately met a narcissist twat on here. And wonder if we are all talking about the same guy.

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro


"It really is a minefield isn’t it?

Gut instinct should never be ignored, every time I’ve ignored mine in the past it’s well and truly bit me in the arse."

This with anything to do with meeting anyone online.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Incapable of holding a conversation and feeling like you have to put in all the work. Met a couple girls like that.. all were crazy bitches.. dropped them like a sack of shit lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gut feeling - mines never steered me wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When dating what would you say were red flags or warning signs that you should be aware of.

Like if your goal is to have a relationship what signs should tell you that the one you’re interested in isn’t a good choice. "

When he puts himself down all the time ..he's stone cracked about you but he'll never think himself good enough for you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not being striaght forward and Honest, Bad Hygiene, Being Grumpy, And if they get jealous and upset kwik.

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand

Keep asking more photos instead of asking the possibility of social and keep sexting only

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By *effrey45Man
over a year ago

Lytham

They never seem to pay for anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Keep asking more photos instead of asking the possibility of social and keep sexting only "

Send nudes

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By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand


"Keep asking more photos instead of asking the possibility of social and keep sexting only

Send nudes"

Only to you if you ask nicely

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