FabSwingers.com forum: Rubbish jokes..

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hit me with your best. Bonus points for the punniest one (see what I did there).

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off!

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Where's nowhereman when you need him?

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By *uvhandle20Man
over a year ago

SE London

I wanted to make a rubbish joke, but it went straight to trash

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wanted to make a rubbish joke, but it went straight to trash

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call Cheese that’s not yours ?

Nacho Cheese

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

What goes Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha bonk?

A man laughing his head off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Manchester City

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By *abasaurus RexMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

What’s brown and sticky.

.. a stick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the cheese say when it saw itself in the mirror?

Haloumi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to buy a face mask on Saturday but the wouldn't let me in the shop

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

So.....I recently told my friend I have a major crush on Beyonce and he replied, ‘Whatever floats your boat mate.’

‘No I said, thats Buoyancy.’

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By *andAukCouple
over a year ago

leeds

How do you circumcise a whale?

Send 4 skin divers down.

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By *attb179Man
over a year ago

London

Why did the cum cross the road?

I put the wrong pair of socks on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

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By *oc30Man
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I wondered what my parents did to fight boredom before the Internet??

I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don’t seem to know either

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So.....I recently told my friend I have a major crush on Beyonce and he replied, ‘Whatever floats your boat mate.’

‘No I said, thats Buoyancy.’

Hahaha that tickled me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do you call a blind dinosaur?

Doyathinkhesaurus

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"I wondered what my parents did to fight boredom before the Internet??

I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don’t seem to know either

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By *adbod74Man
over a year ago

Dudley

I'm good at marriage

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I’m a boat maker and since working from home sails have gone through the roof

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I’m a boat maker and since working from home sails have gone through the roof "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What do you call a blind dinosaur?

Doyathinkhesaurus "

Yesssssss hahhahaha

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

My gardener says he’s FAB straight, but today I caught him with Peat in his bum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Russian man with only one testicle

Ivor Bollockov

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a donkey with 3 legs??

A wonky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I took the shell off my snail to make it go faster...

It just made it more sluggish

I've posted this in a fair few threads now and nobody laughs

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"I took the shell off my snail to make it go faster...

It just made it more sluggish

I've posted this in a fair few threads now and nobody laughs

I won’t laugh here but I might steal it for my status update and take the credit

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I took the shell off my snail to make it go faster...

It just made it more sluggish

I've posted this in a fair few threads now and nobody laughs

I laughed. I just told someone else and they laughed. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yessss! My work here is done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My top 3 assumptions when the doorbell rings...

An axe murderer.

The police, come to tell me everyone I love has died in a freak accident.

That book I ordered on positive thinking.

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

What’s the difference between an old bus stop snd a crab with big tits?

Ones a crusty bus station, the others a busty crustacean.

I’ll get me coat......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do gay horses eat?

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By *attb179Man
over a year ago

London

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk "

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a man in a hole? Doug

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently a cat has caught covid 19. Don't ask meow

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

The new Karaoke world champion has been crowned...Gerrup N Singh

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Apparently a cat has caught covid 19. Don't ask meow "

Hahahahaha topical I like it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

He was outstanding in his field.

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By *ob Carpe DiemMan
over a year ago

Torquay

Knock Knock

Who's there?

A midget who can't reach the doorbell

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By *irenGuy70Man
over a year ago

Cirencester

Why did the Bakers hands smell?

Because he kneaded a poo

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By *jonesMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

Chat up line ....

Have you got a mirror in your knickers ?....

I can see myself in your pants tonight

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By *oneeMan
over a year ago

bath

Do you know a man who can drink four pints of petrol?

Jerry can

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why did the Bakers hands smell?

Because he kneaded a poo

Oh my god that’s just terrible. But it did make me smile.

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Do you hear about the man with five cocks?

His underpants fitted him like a glove

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Bought by dog from a blacksmiths, he made a bolt for the door

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the Randy Rooster order at the Chip shop?

2 chicken legs left open

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By *he Mac LassWoman
over a year ago

Hefty Hideaway

"What did the Randy Rooster order at the Chip shop?

2 chicken legs left open"

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the cock on the otherside

Thank you I'm here all day to take bookings

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By *uskymotoMan
over a year ago

Cumbria

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the cock on the otherside

Thank you I'm here all day to take bookings

Why did the pervert cross the road?

He was still inside the chicken

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The owner of Dulux paint was found frozen at the top of Mount Everest.

Police spokesman said he could have been done with another coat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you make a bears cross?

Nail 2 bears together.

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By *r.HMan
over a year ago

A gentleman never tells

Last night I tried sharing a bag of chips with a homeless man who was sat on the curb...

he said sod off and get your own bloody chips.

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By *irenGuy70Man
over a year ago

Cirencester

"Why did the Bakers hands smell?

Because he kneaded a poo

Oh my god that’s just terrible. But it did make me smile. "

I'm a treasure trove of poo jokes

What did the fly say to the other fly?

"Is this stool taken?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The owner of Dulux paint was found frozen at the top of Mount Everest.

Police spokesman said he could have been done with another coat "

Hahahahaha.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why did the Bakers hands smell?

Because he kneaded a poo

Oh my god that’s just terrible. But it did make me smile.

I'm a treasure trove of poo jokes

What did the fly say to the other fly?

"Is this stool taken?"

Hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Recently i have started to binge drink on Brake fluid.

But i can assure you that i can stop anytime

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west

How do you keep a couple of birds undercontrol? cage them

Still taking bookings

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

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By *-ManMan
over a year ago

Kark

"I took the shell off my snail to make it go faster...

It just made it more sluggish

I've posted this in a fair few threads now and nobody laughs

Slugs are just homeless snails

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot "

Hahaha

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his cousin in the woods

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Liam Gallagher was taken to hospital after feeding his pet. Mad Ferret

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his cousin in the woods "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his cousin in the woods

??"
Ate him then shit him out in the woods I imagined, maybe wrong lol

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By *ryingitout19Man
over a year ago

Wales

What goes black, white, black white, bump?

A penguin rolling down a hill.

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

The interrupting cow

The interrupting cow wh....Moo!!!

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

Why can't penguins fly ?

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

"Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his cousin in the woods

??Ate him then shit him out in the woods I imagined, maybe wrong lol

It’s never good when a joke needs explaining! Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why can't penguins fly ?

Dunno?? X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What goes black, white, black white, bump?

A penguin rolling down a hill.

Knock Knock

Who’s there?

The interrupting cow

The interrupting cow wh....Moo!!!"

I love the cow one x

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"Why can't penguins fly ?

Dunno?? X"

Because it's just a chocolate biscuit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why can't penguins fly ?

Dunno?? X

Because it's just a chocolate biscuit.

Oh god I should’ve seen that one coming

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why didn’t the crisps accept the offer of a lift?

Coz they were walkers...

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By *uvhandle20Man
over a year ago

SE London

"And a apart from that little incident, Ms Lincoln, did you enjoy the theatre tonight?"

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By *eesideMan
over a year ago

margate sumwear by the sea

"Why can't penguins fly ?

Dunno?? X

Because it's just a chocolate biscuit.

Oh god I should’ve seen that one coming "

You did ask for a rubbish joke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There isn’t much training involved in being a garbage man

You just pick it up as you go along

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There isn’t much training involved in being a garbage man

You just pick it up as you go along"

Haha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why can't penguins fly ?

Dunno?? X

Because it's just a chocolate biscuit.

Oh god I should’ve seen that one coming "

Surely that’s what the nun said as the priest came over her face as she was sucking him off ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why can't penguins fly ?

Dunno?? X

Because it's just a chocolate biscuit.

Oh god I should’ve seen that one coming

Surely that’s what the nun said as the priest came over her face as she was sucking him off ??"

I like it.

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By *ark_sentinelCouple
over a year ago

Andover

How do you know there’s Suddenly more pirates in your town??

Cos the aaarrrhhhh rate goes up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why couldn’t the bike stand up?

Because it’s too tired.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I bought a dog from a blacksmith.

Within ten minutes of getting it home, it made a bolt for the door.

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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

A steak pie in Barbados is $2.50.

In St Lucia it's $3.50 and in Trinidad it's only $1.75.

Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How does Bob Marley like his donuts?

Wi Jam in!

How does Bob Marleys mum like her donuts?

Wi Jam in too!

Oooh yeeeahh!

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Oakhill

"I took the shell off my snail to make it go faster...

It just made it more sluggish

I've posted this in a fair few threads now and nobody laughs

Slugs are just homeless snails"
That reminds me of why women have got legs. Have you seen the mess a slug makes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walked into subway, asked for a crocodile sandwich, and told them to make it snappy

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

What do you call a septic cat?

Pus

---

My grief counsellor died yesterday. She was so good at her job I didn't give a fuck!

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By *mileysimieMan
over a year ago

tewkesbury

What do you call a Russian man with three testicles

Udyounikabollokov

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics

"What did the cheese say when it saw itself in the mirror?

Haloumi

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

There’s two cannibals eating a clown..

One turns to the other and says,

“Does this taste funny to you..?”

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside

Will admit to not reading them all, so sorry if this is a repeat

What is Iron Man without his suit?

.Stark naked!

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By *ottsswingerMan
over a year ago

Derby

"I took the shell off my snail to make it go faster...

It just made it more sluggish

I've posted this in a fair few threads now and nobody laughs

"
lol brilliant

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By *eplicant JoWoman
over a year ago

Sussex countryside

How do you get Pikachu on the bus?

Pokemon

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

I had to break the news yesterday to my suitcases that we're not going on holiday this year.

I've now got emotional baggage!

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

Did you hear about the dyslexic Yorkshireman who used to go around wearing a catflap?

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

What's green and sings?

Elvis Parsley.

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By *ic_khan2341Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"Hit me with your best. Bonus points for the punniest one (see what I did there). "

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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By *aver999Couple
over a year ago

East Mids

[Removed by poster at 01/08/20 09:46:20]

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By *aver999Couple
over a year ago

East Mids

"I took the shell off my snail to make it go faster...

It just made it more sluggish

I've posted this in a fair few threads now and nobody laughs

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By *irenGuy70Man
over a year ago

Cirencester

Why shouldn't you wear Ukrainian boxer shorts?

Chernobyl fallout.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do Jimmy Saviles kids know when it’s time for bed?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Our very good friend has just died of indigestion, we can’t believe Gav is gone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/08/20 22:19:47]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll start again

What’s brown and sticky?

I stick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear that the Swedish and Norwegian navys are putting barcodes on the sides of all their warships.

It’s so that when they come in to port, they can Scandinavian.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ll start again

What’s brown and sticky?

My G string "

It’s a good job you’re pretty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ll start again

What’s brown and sticky?

I stick "

A stick

Yep too much Prosecco. (Facepalm face)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ll start again

What’s brown and sticky?

My G string

It’s a good job you’re pretty."

You are the funniest person I know. X

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By *intage74Couple
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Heard about the gay dinosaur

Megasorearse

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Did you hear that the Swedish and Norwegian navys are putting barcodes on the sides of all their warships.

It’s so that when they come in to port, they can Scandinavian........."

Hahahahaha this made me snort laughing x

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By *he English OneMan
over a year ago

west

I tried to enrol my smart ass into college but got turned down as they don't tolerate assholes fair point in fairness

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By *ob Carpe DiemMan
over a year ago

Torquay

A young lady offered me sex if I'd push a new bathroom cleaner, my strong morality meant I could resist, almost as strong as new lemon CIF

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