FabSwingers.com forum: What is a forum?

By *ily White OP Woman
over a year ago

According to the Oxford English dictionary it's a meeting or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged.

In my mind, that's exactly what it should be, a place where all viewpoints can be shared and should be respected and politely discussed, regardless of whether they are personally agreed with or not.

I see every day as a school day, and love to learn - about different subjects, about people, about their beliefs and thought processes. I love it when someone is so passionate about something that they want to share it with the world. I like reading and contributing to threads where this happens. It keeps my brain active. No threads on here have compelled me to change my views on anything that I feel strongly about yet, but I have certainly been given a lot of food for thought over the years, and many times have been inspired to go away and read and learn more about something.

But it saddens me that, especially lately, there seems to be a growing collective mindset on here that, in my opinion only (based on what I have observed), doesn't want to allow that to happen. All too often I'm seeing people that dare to voice a differing opinion being turned on by the majority, not in a constructive and reasoned debate, but simply to be told that their opinion is invalid and they should “stop derailing a nice thread” and go and start their own thread. In a lot of cases making them feel the need to apologise for having the audacity to have a different view or experience of the world. But I believe that if the comment is concerning the subject matter of the OP, opposing viewpoint or not, then it is entirely relevant to that thread.

Whilst the current overriding theme of “be nice and inclusive to everyone” is an admirable sentiment, I personally don't feel that it is 100% attainable for the vast majority of people - and it is indeed ironic that I see a number of the people that preach the hardest about it displaying behaviour at times that in no way adheres to it.

We're all human, none of us are perfect, but if real inclusiveness on here is to be achieved then everybody needs to allow everyone else to have their voice, regardless of whether they agree with it or not.

Just my rambling thoughts on this, apologies for the waffling OP - if anyone can actually be bothered to read it all then I welcome your views, even those that think I'm talking a right load of codswallop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"According to the Oxford English dictionary it's a meeting or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged.

In my mind, that's exactly what it should be, a place where all viewpoints can be shared and should be respected and politely discussed, regardless of whether they are personally agreed with or not.

I think you covered everything there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said. Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you’re spot on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What she said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do love good debate but they certainly to be backed up with facts and not mere personal opinions about a subject or another.

Everyone should be encouraged to voice their own views on any matter but they also need to take into consideration ppl's feelings. Thing that I don't do much when so am trying to be funny.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we can all learn from that Lily, well said....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's only natural human behaviour for us to want to turn those with differing opinions onto our way of thinking. I'm sure the fora of ancient Greece were also filled with a bunch of disagreeing, disapproving philosophers/town elders/magistrates (or whatever middle class old white men did back in those days).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do love good debate but they certainly to be backed up with facts and not mere personal opinions about a subject or another.

Everyone should be encouraged to voice their own views on any matter but they also need to take into consideration ppl's feelings. Thing that I don't do much when so am trying to be funny.

You said ppl, that's made my day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do love good debate but they certainly to be backed up with facts and not mere personal opinions about a subject or another.

Everyone should be encouraged to voice their own views on any matter but they also need to take into consideration ppl's feelings. Thing that I don't do much when so am trying to be funny.

Nooooo. You’re very subtle F&B. What ya on about!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's only natural human behaviour for us to want to turn those with differing opinions onto our way of thinking. I'm sure the fora of ancient Greece were also filled with a bunch of disagreeing, disapproving philosophers/town elders/magistrates (or whatever middle class old white men did back in those days). "

I think they did Tits Out Thursday instead of Tuesday but I'll have to check.

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

*makes Lily a cuppa, then rushes off to buy her a new keyboard

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By *ily White OP Woman
over a year ago

"I do love good debate but they certainly to be backed up with facts and not mere personal opinions about a subject or another.

Everyone should be encouraged to voice their own views on any matter but they also need to take into consideration ppl's feelings. Thing that I don't do much when so am trying to be funny.

Some threads on here are just about people's personal experiences, opinions and feelings and can't be backed up by facts and figures though. They're probably the ones I'm referring to more, where people seem to get offended and try to just shut people down, in effect invalidating their personal perspective.

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By *ily White OP Woman
over a year ago

And I'm all for that. Challenge each others minds - but do it in a constructive and reasoned way, don't just tell people to shut up and start their own thread!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great observations.

I think its no different here than in any other public discussion though? People are so intent on speaking, they don't actually listen? (In the context of written word of course!).

Some of the most liberally minded seem to have irritations with an opposing open, and let's face it, if you trawl through everyone's posts you'll find the odd contradiction or elements of hypocrisy?

Just remember, because someone said it, it doesn't mean it happened?

I like reading all opinions mostly, and don't have an issue with being challenged in a polite manner?

Though I'll confess, I've been guilty many a time of discourse and assumed someone's intention incorrectly on here.

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By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago

A little village

"Well said. Agreed

Another vote for well said and agreed.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"I do love good debate but they certainly to be backed up with facts and not mere personal opinions about a subject or another.

Everyone should be encouraged to voice their own views on any matter but they also need to take into consideration ppl's feelings. Thing that I don't do much when so am trying to be funny.

This I agree with you both of depending on the kind of thread it is. Sometimes you need facts and others are about people's own personal experience. There is room for both on the forum

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

That is the state of the world these days. Nobody wants to debate, and discuss. They mostly want a yes chamber full of agreeing opinions.

I don't mind somebody disagreeing with me, or even arguing me and calling my opinion wrong etc so long as they back it up with evidence/reasoning as to why I am such.

Overwhelming positivity also sickens me when it is forced positivity for the sake of keeping thinks happy and sunshine and rainbows. A bit of drama and negativity is important - hate on the other hand is a whole other arena in itself and that should be avoided and neutralised where it can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to be "in with the crowd" to post in forums and not shit down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well said. Agreed

Another vote for well said and agreed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And I'm all for that. Challenge each others minds - but do it in a constructive and reasoned way, don't just tell people to shut up and start their own thread! "

But that's a fantasy utopia world though. Debate is always going to be heated, especially if people feel strongly about the subject. It's understandable if it happens on a thread where the majority seems in agreement; you'd feel uncomfortable if a couple of ants came along and spoiled the proverbial picnic, wouldn't you?

Note: I'm not saying it's right, but I get why people do it and I don't think it'll ever change. And if you come into a situation with an opinion that's quite clearly different to the majority then you should probably expect some pushback. That should never mean you can't or shouldn't still air your opinion though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, I could be wrong, but I believe Forum is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have to be "in with the crowd" to post in forums and not shit down"

I think its a shame when people feel this way.

I genuinely believe if you contribute youre involved.

Not every comment you write will be responded to (mine above hasnt..no big deal) but if its part of the discussion usually it is?

I really have no idea who an in crowd may be? Those that contribute? And there lyeth the answer?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have to be "in with the crowd" to post in forums and not shit down

I think its a shame when people feel this way.

I genuinely believe if you contribute youre involved.

Not every comment you write will be responded to (mine above hasnt..no big deal) but if its part of the discussion usually it is?

I really have no idea who an in crowd may be? Those that contribute? And there lyeth the answer?

This is so not true. I can honestly say that I rarely look at who posted a thread. If I want to comment I do. If it’s funny or it interests me then I comment. Who posted a thread has no relevance whatsoever to whether I comment!

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By *ily White OP Woman
over a year ago

" Great observations.

I think its no different here than in any other public discussion though? People are so intent on speaking, they don't actually listen? (In the context of written word of course!).

Some of the most liberally minded seem to have irritations with an opposing open, and let's face it, if you trawl through everyone's posts you'll find the odd contradiction or elements of hypocrisy?

Just remember, because someone said it, it doesn't mean it happened?

I like reading all opinions mostly, and don't have an issue with being challenged in a polite manner?

Though I'll confess, I've been guilty many a time of discourse and assumed someone's intention incorrectly on here."

Absolutely - as I said, we're all human and not a single one of us is perfect.

The part I'm picking up on in your reply is "challenged in a polite manner". This is what I'm driving at - challenge me, but do it in a polite and reasoned way. Don't say a response shouldn't be on a thread just because it doesn't fit in with your ideal.

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By *ily White OP Woman
over a year ago

"That is the state of the world these days. Nobody wants to debate, and discuss. They mostly want a yes chamber full of agreeing opinions.

I don't mind somebody disagreeing with me, or even arguing me and calling my opinion wrong etc so long as they back it up with evidence/reasoning as to why I am such.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I completely agree with what you've said.

Opinions that run against the grain and tend to be on the conservative side have a habit of triggering many a person here (my experience at least).

There is a tendency to conform to groupthink and that certainly detracts from the experience.

I won't bother posting on many a thread anymore because many are incapable of a) having a calm, rational debate b) interpreting a differing opinion as some form of personal attack.

I just stick to the fun stuff now, and even then...

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By *ily White OP Woman
over a year ago

And I'm all for that. Challenge each others minds - but do it in a constructive and reasoned way, don't just tell people to shut up and start their own thread!

Pushback is fine - I'm often in the minority on threads and fully expect counter arguments. But make them that, give me reasons and examples, facts and figures if appropriate. But what I'm seeing lately is more "I don't like what you're saying, you're just horrible, now go away".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I completely agree with what you've said.

Opinions that run against the grain and tend to be on the conservative side have a habit of triggering many a person here (my experience at least).

There is a tendency to conform to groupthink and that certainly detracts from the experience.

I won't bother posting on many a thread anymore because many are incapable of a) having a calm, rational debate b) interpreting a differing opinion as some form of personal attack.

I just stick to the fun stuff now, and even then..."

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By *abasaurus RexMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"I completely agree with what you've said.

Opinions that run against the grain and tend to be on the conservative side have a habit of triggering many a person here (my experience at least).

There is a tendency to conform to groupthink and that certainly detracts from the experience.

I won't bother posting on many a thread anymore because many are incapable of a) having a calm, rational debate b) interpreting a differing opinion as some form of personal attack.

I just stick to the fun stuff now, and even then..."

Groupthink is definitely an issue.

There are certain threads I won’t get involved in or bother posting opinion on because I’m acutely aware that it will likely be contrary to group opinion and it’s not worth the effort.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

This was covered in the thread closed.. It would be helpful if people who have agreed with this post now practise it going forward

Respect for others and their views on the forum is a must

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