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Banter !

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Can it be lost in text and do people take it personally ?

I hope not because I never intend to offend, just to clear that up.

Peace and Love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Banter can used to hide being a knob to others and isn't banter if the other person isn't engaged with it.

'Alright mate, it's only banter' is often used to excuse bullying

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas

I love banter but sometimes I’m not very good at taking a joke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vive le cul

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt know

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By *uriousVoyeurMan
over a year ago

Northside

It can if the people involved don't know each other. Context is also important. Banter is great craic,but you gotta be able to take a slagging as well as dishing it out!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be lost in person too. Know your audience innit....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely. Everything can get lost in text, leading to awkwardness. I have quite a dry sense of humour and can be quite sarcastic, and often this is mistaken.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I love banter but sometimes I’m not very good at taking a joke "

Did you hear the one about the most beautiful woman on fab ?

(Never done a rainbow before)

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By *elle xWoman
over a year ago

Doire Theas


"I love banter but sometimes I’m not very good at taking a joke

Did you hear the one about the most beautiful woman on fab ?

(Never done a rainbow before)"

Yeah she did not have a bum hole pic

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

I love banter but will only have banter with people I am closest to and they know me..I would be gutted if I ever thought I had unintentionally hurt someone’s feelings .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've often been taken the wrong way, on here, or even in real life. My sense of humour can be quite dark, but never comes from a place of disrespect or nastiness.

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By *akbearMan
over a year ago

Newbury

I think it all depends on the people.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"Can it be lost in text and do people take it personally ?

I hope not because I never intend to offend, just to clear that up.

Peace and Love "

If you don't intend to offend font say offensive things.... Simple really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a bit like humour...we don't all share the same taste

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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago

Derry

No offence but...........(proceeds to be very offensive)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I love banter but sometimes I’m not very good at taking a joke

Did you hear the one about the most beautiful woman on fab ?

(Never done a rainbow before)

Yeah she did not have a bum hole pic "

At least you can enjoy lunch without throwing up

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Banter means something quite different now to what it used to. I've seen quite cruel and vicious bullying passed off as "banter". Leaving the victim feeling stupid as well as bullied.

The definition of banter is "the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks"

If its not friendly, playful and there's no exchange, it ain't banter.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Holibobs

I only banter with my friends, people will only get my sarcastic retorts if they know me, I avoid the drama of unintentionally offended someone

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

It only depends if they get you and are on the same wavelength then is great stuff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Banter means something quite different now to what it used to. I've seen quite cruel and vicious bullying passed off as "banter". Leaving the victim feeling stupid as well as bullied.

The definition of banter is "the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks"

If its not friendly, playful and there's no exchange, it ain't banter. "

Banter is best left out of the forums in my experience. When it comes as the printed word between 2 members , it often falls foul of forum rules, even when the 2 or 3 people involved are really good friends.

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By *olex99Man
over a year ago

Hull

Banter doesn't really work in the written word. As people say "you really needed to be there".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Banter doesn't really work in the written word. As people say "you really needed to be there"."

I disagree, if your friends with someone and the banter is flowing back and forth then it's clearly banter between the 2. Problem arises when other people not involved in the banter, take passive offence and then report one or both persons, and that's where it is seen to fall foul of the rules.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It only depends if they get you and are on the same wavelength then is great stuff "

I think most are on a similar wavelength, thats why we are here ?

I see what you mean there

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact

Often I am deliberately stubborn and obtuse with my humour and deliver the words in a dry manner even though there is a big risk of miscommunication. To me it acts as a filter. If you don't understand it then we won't be on the same wavelength.

An example of that is me refusing to change my profile. I'll just remain an anomaly.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Often I am deliberately stubborn and obtuse with my humour and deliver the words in a dry manner even though there is a big risk of miscommunication. To me it acts as a filter. If you don't understand it then we won't be on the same wavelength.

An example of that is me refusing to change my profile. I'll just remain an anomaly. "

The problem is when people know you well , they see other sides of you , whereas on here you might just come across as a dick. It’s a tough call stay authentic or tone it down to fit in and be nice and fluffy..... no it’s not a tough call is it

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact


"Often I am deliberately stubborn and obtuse with my humour and deliver the words in a dry manner even though there is a big risk of miscommunication. To me it acts as a filter. If you don't understand it then we won't be on the same wavelength.

An example of that is me refusing to change my profile. I'll just remain an anomaly.

The problem is when people know you well , they see other sides of you , whereas on here you might just come across as a dick. It’s a tough call stay authentic or tone it down to fit in and be nice and fluffy..... no it’s not a tough call is it "
I just don't think I am good at soft skills, diplomacy etc. It doesn't feel natural to me, makes me feel more like a douche.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep and yep. A lot of what you can say can offend

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yep and yep. A lot of what you can say can offend"

Sorry you feel this way, there is a funny side to most things in life. As the OP says, I never intend to.

I guess thats when you need to know the person you are communicating to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yep and yep. A lot of what you can say can offend

Sorry you feel this way, there is a funny side to most things in life. As the OP says, I never intend to.

I guess thats when you need to know the person you are communicating to. "

Ah, I meant ‘you’ as in everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can it be lost in text and do people take it personally ?

I hope not because I never intend to offend, just to clear that up.

Peace and Love "

Yep, wouldn't worry about it too much to be honest. People either get you or they don't and as long as you've not intentionally set out to offend and previously got on with the person then I'm happy to overlook a cheeky message.

I've been told to watch my tongue by someone who I'd spoke to for quite a while on and off. Blocked them and moved on, no point in wasting time when you're not on the same wave length.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Can't stand that word...banter.

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By *.D.I.D.A.SMan
over a year ago

London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact


"Yep and yep. A lot of what you can say can offend

Sorry you feel this way, there is a funny side to most things in life. As the OP says, I never intend to.

I guess thats when you need to know the person you are communicating to.

Ah, I meant ‘you’ as in everyone "
This is so meta.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yep and yep. A lot of what you can say can offend

Sorry you feel this way, there is a funny side to most things in life. As the OP says, I never intend to.

I guess thats when you need to know the person you are communicating to.

Ah, I meant ‘you’ as in everyone "

oh, I get your banter there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can't stand that word...banter. "

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Banter means something quite different now to what it used to. I've seen quite cruel and vicious bullying passed off as "banter". Leaving the victim feeling stupid as well as bullied.

The definition of banter is "the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks"

If its not friendly, playful and there's no exchange, it ain't banter. "

Agreed.

It's often Schrödinger's arsehole stuff. If you receive this stuff and you're offended, then "why are you sensitive can't you take a joke? Geez".

I err on the side of caution with it.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

i think you soon learn who just being a knob and who just bantering. if most people find you offensive then you're just being a knob

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