FabSwingers.com forum: Trying to date

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In the "normal world" is so hard.

People either judge your choices/past or just see you as an easy fuck.

I want a swinging relationship but it is so difficult for someone who has never done this what it entails.

That it is not just a free pass to fuck around, and that I want all the things in a normal relationship, but with added naughtiness.

Sigh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orthantsblueeyesMan
over a year ago

Northampton

Sigh is correct

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

so difficult to describe to those who have never done this what it entails*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the "normal world" is so hard.

People either judge your choices/past or just see you as an easy fuck.

I want a swinging relationship but it is so difficult for someone who has never done this what it entails.

That it is not just a free pass to fuck around, and that I want all the things in a normal relationship, but with added naughtiness.

Sigh

I hope you find what you’re looking for

I’m too kinky for tinder and too vanilla for here! I want a kinky relationship but I don’t want to swing

I’ll just keep floating between the two worlds and see what happens one day

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have had a swinging relationship before.

It didnt work out but not because of swinging.

I want that again.

Its so fun going to clubs together or having naughty meets, but knowing you are the only one they want to cuddle up to at the end of the night x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oozleMan
over a year ago

high wycombe

"I have had a swinging relationship before.

It didnt work out but not because of swinging.

I want that again.

Its so fun going to clubs together or having naughty meets, but knowing you are the only one they want to cuddle up to at the end of the night x"

That would my ideal relationship, not too many people want that though, they prefer to play away from home.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

i can't even get a decent one night stand... relationship is impossible for me. let alone the perfect one.. hugs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ark ph0enixWoman
over a year ago

Teesside

"In the "normal world" is so hard.

People either judge your choices/past or just see you as an easy fuck.

I want a swinging relationship but it is so difficult for someone who has never done this what it entails.

That it is not just a free pass to fuck around, and that I want all the things in a normal relationship, but with added naughtiness.

Sigh

I hope you find what you’re looking for

I’m too kinky for tinder and too vanilla for here! I want a kinky relationship but I don’t want to swing

I’ll just keep floating between the two worlds and see what happens one day "

My current perspective too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"I have had a swinging relationship before.

It didnt work out but not because of swinging.

I want that again.

Its so fun going to clubs together or having naughty meets, but knowing you are the only one they want to cuddle up to at the end of the night x"

sounds perfect... but no jealousy involved?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have had a swinging relationship before.

It didnt work out but not because of swinging.

I want that again.

Its so fun going to clubs together or having naughty meets, but knowing you are the only one they want to cuddle up to at the end of the night x

sounds perfect... but no jealousy involved? "

No, jealousy was not in my nature if it is just sex

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Surely there's plenty of guys who want that on here, no?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Surely there's plenty of guys who want that on here, no? "

You have to throw in chemistry, attraction and a realistic distance too.

Everyone seems bloody miles away on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't offer any advice because I'm crap at relationships but sending hugs and I hope you find what your looking for

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have had a swinging relationship before.

It didnt work out but not because of swinging.

I want that again.

Its so fun going to clubs together or having naughty meets, but knowing you are the only one they want to cuddle up to at the end of the night x"

I want that too!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can't offer any advice because I'm crap at relationships but sending hugs and I hope you find what your looking for

xx"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Surely there's plenty of guys who want that on here, no?

You have to throw in chemistry, attraction and a realistic distance too.

Everyone seems bloody miles away on here"

That's true but I think the chances are still better on here or meeting at clubs than turning a guy from the outside world into this lifestyle.

Lots of guy's egos can't take 'their' woman being with and enjoying another guy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the "normal world" is so hard.

People either judge your choices/past or just see you as an easy fuck.

I want a swinging relationship but it is so difficult for someone who has never done this what it entails.

That it is not just a free pass to fuck around, and that I want all the things in a normal relationship, but with added naughtiness.

Sigh

I hear you!

Even dating without the added naughtiness seems impossible.

* goes to buy a nun habit *

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the "normal world" is so hard.

People either judge your choices/past or just see you as an easy fuck.

I want a swinging relationship but it is so difficult for someone who has never done this what it entails.

That it is not just a free pass to fuck around, and that I want all the things in a normal relationship, but with added naughtiness.

Sigh

I hear you!

Even dating without the added naughtiness seems impossible.

* goes to buy a nun habit *"

I'd like to see you dressed as a nun.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Surely there's plenty of guys who want that on here, no?

You have to throw in chemistry, attraction and a realistic distance too.

Everyone seems bloody miles away on here

That's true but I think the chances are still better on here or meeting at clubs than turning a guy from the outside world into this lifestyle.

Lots of guy's egos can't take 'their' woman being with and enjoying another guy.

You would think, but been single 9 months and no interest in the horizon yet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ingle ex cuckMan
over a year ago

chester

These days not many people are willing to take time to actually meet face to face for a coffee

It’s basically send face picture and if one doesn’t look like David beckham ( example) or alek wek

Then it’s - no Thankyou your not my type

Very sad online dating these days

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

You have to build a strong relationship first and that takes time.

The mental side of all this is too much for some people. The fantasy is very different to the reality and most cant cope.

Exclusivity hah thats a joke even when swinging together in whatever form that may take.

Plus from my experience people aren't that honest there always looking for who's next.

I've been here 3 years looking for a partner but alas I'm no nearer now than then.

But good luck Ivy as I feel you may need it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"In the "normal world" is so hard.

People either judge your choices/past or just see you as an easy fuck.

I want a swinging relationship but it is so difficult for someone who has never done this what it entails.

That it is not just a free pass to fuck around, and that I want all the things in a normal relationship, but with added naughtiness.

Sigh

I know what you mean, it's just a shame that we're so far away from each other innit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You have to build a strong relationship first and that takes time.

The mental side of all this is too much for some people. The fantasy is very different to the reality and most cant cope.

Exclusivity hah thats a joke even when swinging together in whatever form that may take.

Plus from my experience people aren't that honest there always looking for who's next.

I've been here 3 years looking for a partner but alas I'm no nearer now than then.

But good luck Ivy as I feel you may need it.

As I said, I have had it before x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First and foremost it is not a dig at you or anyone who seems in the same case as you are. It is merely my take on it.

In my opinion it looks like ppl who are looking for a relation with a set of requirements fail themselves. Those requirements which are supposed to make them happy (if found), deserve them more that they serve them.

Moving away from the hollywoodian conception of a relationship, it is something that you build and can't be as perfect as your idealised in the first place. Most importantly it is a two way streets. You may want that but your partner wants something... I don't believe that symbiosis exist and I rather embrace the fact that a relationship is made of compromise.

Now you need to know what compromise you are willing to accept or not and ultimately are those compromises will make you happy or not.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *litreMan
over a year ago

everywhere

It's all about the simple things in life. Hope you find what you looking again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"First and foremost it is not a dig at you or anyone who seems in the same case as you are. It is merely my take on it.

Now you need to know what compromise you are willing to accept or not and ultimately are those compromises will make you happy or not.

I dont have a huge list though

but I wont just settle for less either....

I know I am not a demanding person and I am highly flexible on alot of stuff so wanting to remain a swinger which is in my nature really is not something worth conpromising, otherwise I would be unhappy in said relationship and it would be doomed from the start

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

compromising*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surely there's plenty of guys who want that on here, no? "

Me me me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

"In the "normal world" is so hard.

People either judge your choices/past or just see you as an easy fuck.

I want a swinging relationship but it is so difficult for someone who has never done this what it entails.

That it is not just a free pass to fuck around, and that I want all the things in a normal relationship, but with added naughtiness.

Sigh

i want this. i actively look for dates on here, best place to find a 'swinging partner/relationship' surely? no luck yet but im optimistic

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornado69Man
over a year ago

Swindon

I dream of finding a lady for dating properly who enjoys this lifestyle. Unfortunately people don't understand that you can still love somebody and have sex with others, it's a pleasure in life that we can all partake. One day I may find that elusive lady x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people set out quite often with unrealistic expectations when searching for a relationship ( I probably used to)

Throw swinging into the mix and it probably complicates things more...who's to say you will both want to approach that the same way too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had it a couple of times through fab although on the understanding that although we are in a relationship I don’t want them to move in with me etc, although that also happened once.

I suppose what I strive is for the stage between a FWB and a relationship. I think if a relationship is what your wanting but a swinging one fab is the place to find it but you kind of need to go all in for that.

Have it on your profile and only meet the people that can give you what you want. I no longer settle for less than I want no matter how much the horn takes me.

We need miss cheeky chops old dating threads back, there were some successful couples from that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entlecaressMan
over a year ago

Wakefield/ Beverley

Long term partner to have fun with inside and outside of the bedroom but with none of the hang ups of a living together relationship would be ideal. Still optimistic

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Long term partner to have fun with inside and outside of the bedroom but with none of the hang ups of a living together relationship would be ideal. Still optimistic

So you want a FWB then.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"In the "normal world" is so hard.

People either judge your choices/past or just see you as an easy fuck.

I want a swinging relationship but it is so difficult for someone who has never done this what it entails.

That it is not just a free pass to fuck around, and that I want all the things in a normal relationship, but with added naughtiness.

Sigh

Is it a swinging fwb arrangement you're looking for or a proper exclusive relationship that incorporates the aspect of swinging together?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In the "normal world" is so hard.

People either judge your choices/past or just see you as an easy fuck.

I want a swinging relationship but it is so difficult for someone who has never done this what it entails.

That it is not just a free pass to fuck around, and that I want all the things in a normal relationship, but with added naughtiness.

Sigh

Is it a swinging fwb arrangement you're looking for or a proper exclusive relationship that incorporates the aspect of swinging together?"

The latter.

I do not want a FWB.

People seem to struggle to understand, you can have a full normal relationship and swing, thousands of couples on here do it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Some dates feel like a job interview.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

"In the "normal world" is so hard.

People either judge your choices/past or just see you as an easy fuck.

I want a swinging relationship but it is so difficult for someone who has never done this what it entails.

That it is not just a free pass to fuck around, and that I want all the things in a normal relationship, but with added naughtiness.

Sigh

Is it a swinging fwb arrangement you're looking for or a proper exclusive relationship that incorporates the aspect of swinging together?

The latter.

I do not want a FWB.

People seem to struggle to understand, you can have a full normal relationship and swing, thousands of couples on here do it"

yes and thousands of single fellas too, many of us looking for a lady too date and develop the relationship

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"In the "normal world" is so hard.

People either judge your choices/past or just see you as an easy fuck.

I want a swinging relationship but it is so difficult for someone who has never done this what it entails.

That it is not just a free pass to fuck around, and that I want all the things in a normal relationship, but with added naughtiness.

Sigh

Is it a swinging fwb arrangement you're looking for or a proper exclusive relationship that incorporates the aspect of swinging together?

The latter.

I do not want a FWB.

People seem to struggle to understand, you can have a full normal relationship and swing, thousands of couples on here do it"

You mentioned not wanting to settle for less. What exactly is your criteria said person has to meet?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rMrsBrightsideCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

I think it must be difficult to have everything you want from the start. A lot of couples are together first and then bring swinging into the relationship later as a kind of add on.

I hope you find what you are looking for. We certainly feel very privileged to be able to do this in a way that works for us.

Mrs x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heLaserGuyMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I've been looking for that exclusive relationship for two and a half years now, would be more than happy to settle down with the right one but finding her seems very hard as Ivy has said.

The swinging side would be very much optional, it's finding someone that you want to cuddle up to night after night that's the hard part. Similar values and interests, good conversation, music taste, food taste, film taste...god the list seems endless

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I've been looking for that exclusive relationship for two and a half years now, would be more than happy to settle down with the right one but finding her seems very hard as Ivy has said.

If the swinging is optional, it shouldn't be that hard to find someone.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

thousands of single fellas and ladies on here... obviously theyll have some understanding of the swinging world... people looking for a swinging partner/bf/gf/wife/husband are in the right place.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been looking for that exclusive relationship for two and a half years now, would be more than happy to settle down with the right one but finding her seems very hard as Ivy has said.

Similar values yes, but food/music/film taste etc really are not that important to me, I dont want a male clone if myself lol.

As long as they lived close enough and was a swinger (oh and in a decent enough age range, no old man or manchild) then honestly I would date.

Looks and body type and interests etc are all not as important when I am not just looking for sex

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heLaserGuyMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"I've been looking for that exclusive relationship for two and a half years now, would be more than happy to settle down with the right one but finding her seems very hard as Ivy has said.

If the swinging is optional, it shouldn't be that hard to find someone. "

Finding play partners has never been that much of a problem, finding something more than the sex is. You might be very sexually compatible, but if the conversation stalls once the sex is over or the interests are poles apart it wouldn't go much further than fwb.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

Advice would be. Don’t settle for less than what you want. But some compromise for a truly decent person is worth it. But not if it means giving up what’s at your core with little in return. However you can get lucky and I mean really lucky

so why not stop being hard on yourself and be open to possibilities while having lots of fun?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heLaserGuyMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"Advice would be. Don’t settle for less than what you want. But some compromise for a truly decent person is worth it. But not if it means giving up what’s at your core with little in return. However you can get lucky and I mean really lucky

so why not stop being hard on yourself and be open to possibilities while having lots of fun?"

I didn't meant o sound all doom and gloom, I have a great life and lifestyle, just be nice to share it with someone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

I’ve had this in the past.... we met for a social and the rest was history until he passed away that was 4 yrs ago ... no problems meeting guys for sex but now it’s starting to become a bit hollow and I’m starting to think that my age etc is against me and I will never find what I once had .. It’s just the best way to swing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heLaserGuyMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"I’ve had this in the past.... we met for a social and the rest was history until he passed away that was 4 yrs ago ... no problems meeting guys for sex but now it’s starting to become a bit hollow and I’m starting to think that my age etc is against me and I will never find what I once had .. It’s just the best way to swing

You put it very well

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I've been looking for that exclusive relationship for two and a half years now, would be more than happy to settle down with the right one but finding her seems very hard as Ivy has said.

If the swinging is optional, it shouldn't be that hard to find someone.

That's because you're doing it the wrong way round!

Vanilla dating, it's pretty easy to find some compatible, and you do all the interests and conversation first before you get to the sex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It might be a little easier to find someone who wants the same things as you if you didnt hide your profile!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *heLaserGuyMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"I've been looking for that exclusive relationship for two and a half years now, would be more than happy to settle down with the right one but finding her seems very hard as Ivy has said.

If the swinging is optional, it shouldn't be that hard to find someone.

That's because you're doing it the wrong way round!

Vanilla dating, it's pretty easy to find some compatible, and you do all the interests and conversation first before you get to the sex. "

Believe me, when I see potential girlfriend material sex is the last thing that's gets mentioned in chatting, very different world from fab. I'm definitely not ultra picky, just know what I like. I wouldn't want to waste their time or mine if I knew it wouldn't last.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entlecaressMan
over a year ago

Wakefield/ Beverley

"Long term partner to have fun with inside and outside of the bedroom but with none of the hang ups of a living together relationship would be ideal. Still optimistic

So you want a FWB then."

Maybe a bit more than that but not a full blown relationship.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

I think your best bet is to look within the scene for what your looking for. Fab meets, socials, parties, clubs, friends of friends, etc. Just like normal dating the more you get your self out there and interact the more opportunities you create and the more lessons you learn. There isn't any real difference to vanilla dating. Accept on the scene hopefully the people you meet will share your views on sexual monogamy, share your appetite and can be adult when it comes to each others sexual history. Yes there maybe cheats, liars, time wasters and users on here. But that is no different to vanilla dating. But there are also some great people on here (some who maybe looking for the same). You just never know who you'll meet on your adventures. We met on Fab. Hope you find what your looking for.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think your best bet is to look within the scene for what your looking for. Fab meets, socials, parties, clubs, friends of friends, etc. Just like normal dating the more you get your self out there and interact the more opportunities you create and the more lessons you learn. There isn't any real difference to vanilla dating. Accept on the scene hopefully the people you meet will share your views on sexual monogamy, share your appetite and can be adult when it comes to each others sexual history. Yes there maybe cheats, liars, time wasters and users on here. But that is no different to vanilla dating. But there are also some great people on here (some who maybe looking for the same). You just never know who you'll meet on your adventures. We met on Fab. Hope you find what your looking for."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In the "normal world" is so hard.

People either judge your choices/past or just see you as an easy fuck.

I want a swinging relationship but it is so difficult for someone who has never done this what it entails.

That it is not just a free pass to fuck around, and that I want all the things in a normal relationship, but with added naughtiness.

Sigh

I hope you find what you’re looking for

I’m too kinky for tinder and too vanilla for here! I want a kinky relationship but I don’t want to swing

I’ll just keep floating between the two worlds and see what happens one day "

Same. I'll probably never find someone who likes what I like on POF, but then what I do like would be considered quite tame on here.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed it’s so hard

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Y
"I've been looking for that exclusive relationship for two and a half years now, would be more than happy to settle down with the right one but finding her seems very hard as Ivy has said.

If the swinging is optional, it shouldn't be that hard to find someone.

That's because you're doing it the wrong way round!

Vanilla dating, it's pretty easy to find some compatible, and you do all the interests and conversation first before you get to the sex. "

I think vanilla dating is hard. It's hard to find someone compatible and who is actually serious about dating. I might see someone who has all the same interests as me right down to our favourite band or whatever, send them a fairly detailed message talking about their interests, just to get nothing in return. Not even a profile view. It can be quite disheartening sometimes. I'm not entitled to anything in return, I know that, but I can't help feeling jaded about it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt mind a swinger relationship but I'm too picky and then the ones I like don't like me hAHA

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *az080378Woman
over a year ago

Cromer

"Surely there's plenty of guys who want that on here, no?

You have to throw in chemistry, attraction and a realistic distance too.

Everyone seems bloody miles away on here"

I find this too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/07/20 15:51:29]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surely there's plenty of guys who want that on here, no?

You have to throw in chemistry, attraction and a realistic distance too.

Everyone seems bloody miles away on here

I find this too

Nice lollipop

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilth500Man
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Surely there's plenty of guys who want that on here, no?

You have to throw in chemistry, attraction and a realistic distance too.

Everyone seems bloody miles away on here

I find this too

Fab law this!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"YI've been looking for that exclusive relationship for two and a half years now, would be more than happy to settle down with the right one but finding her seems very hard as Ivy has said.

If the swinging is optional, it shouldn't be that hard to find someone.

That's because you're doing it the wrong way round!

Vanilla dating, it's pretty easy to find some compatible, and you do all the interests and conversation first before you get to the sex.

It's just a number game, if you keep on trying, you will find someone you click with, then take then out and you will click in real life. You will eventually find someone, of that I can be certain, if you just want vanilla.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread