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Pain and response

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Not really been into pain before but started to try it with someone. She bit the help out off me but I just didn't respond to it. It did hurt but I refuse to let someone know its hurting me. I know people use safe words but I'm wondering if I should respond more even if I fake it as it dawned on me real injury may occur if I stay silent. Anyone had any bad injuries or do most experienced people delivering pain know when to stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope, not everyone knows when to stop.

Assuming I'm not tied up I use a double tap.

Most people like to see and hear responses in sex inclusive of pain, so it might be worth voicing where you're at.

And if it brings you no pleasure after a few varied tries, then it's possibly not your 'thing' anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And yes, I have a couple of scars where someone went too deep...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Loved it just think I have a high tolorance yo pain. I make noise normally just the pain thing I kinda dont want to lose if that makes sense. I'll give into it a bit more then. Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"And yes, I have a couple of scars where someone went too deep... "

Love the July 2020 pic of you by the way. Hair and eyes look stunning x

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

Before exploring any SM play, you should always have a safeword system in place and you should always be willing to use it if at any point you don't like / feel comfortable with what's happening / being done to you. As should a clear communication of boundaries, soft and hard limits, etc be discussed and established.

Maybe consider seeking out an experienced play partner to help you explore this gradually and safely until you have a firm idea of what your likes, dislikes and limits are when it comes to pain and SM play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not always easy to know when to stop depending on the circumstances but if the other person can tell you when to stop then that works. I struggled to stop once because I was away with the orgasm fairy's, my partner was able to stop me and that was enough. Generally I will respond to "stop" though.

If it's too much then say so but make sure you have these conversations before hand too.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Not really been into pain before but started to try it with someone. She bit the help out off me but I just didn't respond to it. It did hurt but I refuse to let someone know its hurting me. I know people use safe words but I'm wondering if I should respond more even if I fake it as it dawned on me real injury may occur if I stay silent. Anyone had any bad injuries or do most experienced people delivering pain know when to stop. "

The person delivering the pain can't feel what you're feeling so although someone who knows you well can read the signs of it becoming too much, it's your responsibility to keep yourself safe as much as the person inflicting the pain. You should let them know if it's too much or starting to get too much.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for the advice. Now to think of a safe word or 2....

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Most people are aware or use the traffic light system of red and amber. Red meaning stop everything with amber being more of a slow down/move along/change it up alert.

Any word can be a safe word as long as it is communicated before play, but try and steer clear of words that are too hard to remember or say.

Also if you are going to be gagged, hooded or in some other way have your ability to verbal communicate, then you need to agree on non verbal safe words such as 3 taps for red, or dropping an object you are holding in your hand.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Most people are aware or use the traffic light system of red and amber. Red meaning stop everything with amber being more of a slow down/move along/change it up alert.

Any word can be a safe word as long as it is communicated before play, but try and steer clear of words that are too hard to remember or say.

Also if you are going to be gagged, hooded or in some other way have your ability to verbal communicate, then you need to agree on non verbal safe words such as 3 taps for red, or dropping an object you are holding in your hand."

Really good advice. Thank you x

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