"First off I would just like to say I'm not looking for pitty or attention from this story I just really wanted to write this down. With me knowing swingers are the most down to earth people I've met so I felt this would be a good place. Also if this helps anyone who was like me and avoided doctors like the plague that would be a huge bonus. Oh also I'm writing this out on mobile so sorry for any rubbish format or mistakes.
So at the start of November last year I started to get some serious chest pains, bad cough and felt overall terrible. I hate going to the doctors but I was feeling so bad I felt I couldn't avoid it this time. I used the push doctor app to get a video call consultation because I just find it so much easier than getting into my GP. Told the doc on the phone everything that was going on with me. After a few questions and answers they booked me in to see my GP in the next 30 minutes. I rushed down there and waited to see someone.
I'm sitting with the GP going over everything and the looks on her face did start to worry me as we went over things. She asked if I was driving and could make it to the hospital for a scan and blood test. I told her it wouldn't be a problem. Got down the hospital blood taken scan done.
Fast forward a couple of weeks I get a call saying my results have come back and if I could come in. I asked if they could just tell me over the phone to which they said we would prefer that you came in. I'm not daft, well not daft all the time. I knew something wasn't good and panic did set in a bit. Got down there and they gave me the news that I had stage 1 lung cancer. For people who were like me and don't know much about cancer or the steps. This is actually a lucky thing to catch cancer at stage 1 because of how treatable it is.
Preperations are made and I've been booked in to see a specialist and consultant on what steps to take. I get told all about my cancer, how it could of potentially happened, what kind it is, how to cope and seek support etc etc etc.
This is where my world falls apart. I couldn't process any of the news I'd just been told, I couldn't believe this was happening and I was just in a state of shock. It took me two weeks to open up about it and tell my family and close friends. They were all supportive and wanted to be there for me any way they could. But I didn't want that, I became cold and distant from everyone, I let no one in and pushed people away, I've destroyed relationships with people I truly cared about and who truly cared about me because of how terrified I was. I struggled so much inside my own head to process why this was happening to me. I didn't even feel like fighting it. The whole thing just became a mess along with me becoming a bigger mess.
Even though I was falling apart I pushed on and took radiotherapy as the treatment from the choices I had. It took its toll on me physically and I wasn't doing great mentally. Everything was going well from doctors point of view and things were looking up on the cancer situation.
Fast forward to corona and lock down. I think we can all day this sucked! Lockdown made things harder specially as I had to shield big time. But I still needed treatment. I continued my treatment things seemed to be going well the cancer was getting smaller and I was feeling hopeful. Then what I could only explain as a random panic attack happened while I was at home, lucky I don't live alone so they called 999 and an ambulance came and took me away.
Alls good right? Wrong. That panic attack forced them to do tests and make sure my cancer was still going. This is where I find out that it had been going from where they could see but missed it growing outwards. (I've had a lot of advice about this bit with who I've told and a few said to sue. I'm not doing that as I feel they do their best and that money is important to the health service). World collapses again and I just get fed up and tell them I was surgery just get the fucking thing out.
Surgery gets booked in and I go under within a few weeks. Wake up alls good. Boring week in hospital followed by some chemo sessions, antibiotics and painkillers.
Go back in for a scan and a chat, finally hear some good news of how I'm in remission and the fight is over. Break down crying there and then. Things finally feel back to normal apart from the scar down my chest which I'll admit I'm a bit upset about.
But anyway if you read all that thank you for taking time to read my story. If I could give any advice, specially to the stubborn men like me, it would be if something feels wrong go get it checked out.
Cancer is a terrible thing, it takes and takes, physically, mentally and destroys what you love in my case.
Thanks again for reading, hope everyone is well. Sorry again for any mistakes or things I've missed out, mobile typing hurts after a bit and I started to rush this.
Take care  "
Wow, what a strong minded person you seem even if you may not think it yourself.
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Sorry to hear you had to go through so much! Very happy to hear that you've completed your treatments and are now in remission! The surgery scar will fade a little with time but also consider it as your battle scar, you fought for your life and here we are! Keep healing, good luck with everything.
x
