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The elelements that make people attractive

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By *hat Bloke OP   Man
over a year ago

Harrogate

So reading through listings, some people will say they have a type and some will say body and looks are important. Others discount that in favour of an infectious personality. For myself I see it as a floating ratio as I have yet to come across the perfect person. But how would you folks split the elements of another (in terms of looks, body and personality) to judge whether or not they would be a suitable partner?

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Tall and confident is a good start.

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By *ouanna JoWoman
over a year ago

A little village

It’s not something I consciously think about - if I’m attracted to someone I don’t really try and work out how much is attributable to looks versus personality. It’s just a subconscious, instinctive feeling for me. So I honestly couldn’t tell you. When I’m in love with someone it feels like 100% of both, if that makes sense.

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Someone that makes me proud to be with them - this is down to their personality, not someone who looks like a model.

Someone really funny or sharp or brave...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a VERY low bar. No-one on here has come anywhere close to it.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

There are a number of things that could mean somebody is or isn't of interest to us. If we're not attracted physically it won't go beyond being friends. The most important factors are how we get on and if we feel we're on the same wavelength. I can't really prioritise the aspects because if they aren't all there, it's not going to happen. They can all be deal-breakers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s not something I consciously think about - if I’m attracted to someone I don’t really try and work out how much is attributable to looks versus personality. It’s just a subconscious, instinctive feeling for me. So I honestly couldn’t tell you. When I’m in love with someone it feels like 100% of both, if that makes sense. "

^^This

I would also add for me I would say there is just 'something about them' which interests me.

One thing I do find attractive is knowing how to dress and carry it off and not just wearing the latest fashion regardless of whether it suits them.

Overall I have to find something interesting and curious about them. What that is I couldn't tell but I know it when I see it.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"It’s not something I consciously think about - if I’m attracted to someone I don’t really try and work out how much is attributable to looks versus personality. It’s just a subconscious, instinctive feeling for me. So I honestly couldn’t tell you. When I’m in love with someone it feels like 100% of both, if that makes sense. "

Yes, it's like this perfect balance of attracted to both their physicality and their mind. I find that the more I care about someone the more I find them physically attractive as well.

I do find passion attractive; passion doesn't have to be about the same things I dork out over but when I see their eyes light up and they can waffle on in pure glee about whatever truly ignites them? Such a fantastic thing to see and listen to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s not something I consciously think about - if I’m attracted to someone I don’t really try and work out how much is attributable to looks versus personality. It’s just a subconscious, instinctive feeling for me. So I honestly couldn’t tell you. When I’m in love with someone it feels like 100% of both, if that makes sense.

Yes, it's like this perfect balance of attracted to both their physicality and their mind. I find that the more I care about someone the more I find them physically attractive as well.

I do find passion attractive; passion doesn't have to be about the same things I dork out over but when I see their eyes light up and they can waffle on in pure glee about whatever truly ignites them? Such a fantastic thing to see and listen to."

Yes passion!! That's exactly the word I was searching for. Not laid back dead nothingness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s not something I consciously think about - if I’m attracted to someone I don’t really try and work out how much is attributable to looks versus personality. It’s just a subconscious, instinctive feeling for me. So I honestly couldn’t tell you. When I’m in love with someone it feels like 100% of both, if that makes sense.

Yes, it's like this perfect balance of attracted to both their physicality and their mind. I find that the more I care about someone the more I find them physically attractive as well.

I do find passion attractive; passion doesn't have to be about the same things I dork out over but when I see their eyes light up and they can waffle on in pure glee about whatever truly ignites them? Such a fantastic thing to see and listen to."

Forgot about passion. If I am attracted to someone I will generally start to waffle and get a little over-excited.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't.

People are not a collection of components, we are just human where good bad nice nasty beautiful ugly and all those other binary choices, and all the scale between such binary positions, are unreal expectations coloured by each persons own perceptions of another.

We all come with an infinite capacity for good or bad hate or love and every other emotion that ever existed.

If we could all see and appreciate the positives in others with the same clarity with which some always concentrate on the negatives in others perhaps fab and the rest of the world may be a better place....

Once we dismiss another as "nothing" we dehumamise them, a ploy used by autocrats and dictators for millenia to justify whatever further appalling behaviour physical or emotional we wish to use to abuse those we consider unworthy of us.

We are all human, complex, sentient beings, with the capacity for great hate great love and everything in between. When we treat others as commodities or a collection of parts alone how much do we fail ourselves as much as those others who are only seen in such a superficial manner.

Where is the love....

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

The men i have mostly been attracted to are dark haired.

Body size/height is irrelevant.

I tend to go for sassy men. Who woo me with their humour (usually quirky, not mainstream) and chat. They tend to have a devilish twinkle and a confident aura. But not too confident as to be cocky. They just know what they bring to the table.

And more importantly, they have to be reasonably strong willed and no pushover, because i can be quite a handful and i like a man who can handle that. I can suss that out pretty quick.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Curvy figure and sense of humour.

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

It's all in the eyes, their smile, and their energy; if they've got this nothing else matters to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s not something I consciously think about - if I’m attracted to someone I don’t really try and work out how much is attributable to looks versus personality. It’s just a subconscious, instinctive feeling for me. So I honestly couldn’t tell you. When I’m in love with someone it feels like 100% of both, if that makes sense. "
this.But if I'm being pushed for answer, a happy accepting disposition is so beautiful to be around.

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By *hat Bloke OP   Man
over a year ago

Harrogate


"I don't.

People are not a collection of components, we are just human where good bad nice nasty beautiful ugly and all those other binary choices, and all the scale between such binary positions, are unreal expectations coloured by each persons own perceptions of another.

We all come with an infinite capacity for good or bad hate or love and every other emotion that ever existed.

If we could all see and appreciate the positives in others with the same clarity with which some always concentrate on the negatives in others perhaps fab and the rest of the world may be a better place....

Once we dismiss another as "nothing" we dehumamise them, a ploy used by autocrats and dictators for millenia to justify whatever further appalling behaviour physical or emotional we wish to use to abuse those we consider unworthy of us.

We are all human, complex, sentient beings, with the capacity for great hate great love and everything in between. When we treat others as commodities or a collection of parts alone how much do we fail ourselves as much as those others who are only seen in such a superficial manner.

Where is the love....

"

I would have to disagree insofar as I believe we ARE all just a group of components. Whether my definition of those components is too broad is another matter, but as humans we very rarely randomly meet, mate and bugger off (there are always exceptions to this rule). As a few posters have mentioned, confidence without being cocky is a good thing. Being on the same wavelength is a good thing. And I guess (certainly for the former) people that display those characteristics also have a tendency to make sure they are reasonably fit and well groomed according to those that are enjoying those types of traits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm just looking for a pulse and decent spelling even that's proving difficult here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Once we dismiss another as "nothing" we dehumamise them, a ploy used by autocrats and dictators for millenia to justify whatever further appalling behaviour physical or emotional we wish to use to abuse those we consider unworthy of us.

"

Disagree. We are 'components'. A multitude which fit together and integrate in a myriad ways which give rise to complex behaviour.

When we first meet someone we are making desicions on the limited information we have at that moment.

More information the better desicions we can make.

So attraction can go from purely physical to personality to emotional over time.

Or not attracted physically to start with but can become attraction over time.

We are all prone to stereotyping. You've done it with your dictators and autocrats - you've lumped them all together as all 'bad'.

You would have to take each dictator/autocrat who has ever existed individually and 'judge' them seperately on their actions. Have you got time for that?

If you use the phrase:

'The world would be a better place if it wasn't for X'

and ask people to fill in 'X' I bet just about everyone would be able to put something in there (you might say dictators).

Prejudice and stereotyping are part of being human and in times gone by a useful survival trait.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fit & tattooed Eyes are really important, it's that look x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Tall, attractive *in my opinion *, on a level with me intelligence wise (no, that doesn't mean I think I'm clever it means I want both of us to match), confident, well groomed, witty and friendly.

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

Tits and arse

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Tall, attractive *in my opinion *, on a level with me intelligence wise (no, that doesn't mean I think I'm clever it means I want both of us to match), confident, well groomed, witty and friendly. "

Oh and solvent. I don't mean wealthy but my days of starving on a garret are long gone. At least be able to stand a round most of the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm just looking for a pulse and decent spelling even that's proving difficult here."

Ano rite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Athletic and tattooed is always a good starting point to attract my attention, but add in kindness and dominance and I’m hooked. Have gorgeous eyes and I’m lost. Aside from Inked, there’s a gorgeous woman who only has to look at me and I’m melting x Viv x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like men with a bit of substance to them

Not all that awful silly frippery

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