FabSwingers.com forum: Bereavement

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is it being selfish to get emotional?

Ive lost friends n family and loosing a friend now.. I don't think he has long to go.

Trying not to feel upset.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Of course it is not. We are humans and have feelings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would you need permission to cry? It’s natural to get upset and helps grieve.

Don’t hold back what you feel x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't mind saying im the type who gets upset and is it because im selfish? Thinking of how loss will affect my life? I am world weary and tired of living to be honest

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

of course it's not selfish.

Grief is an absolute bitch to endure. Part of grieving is feeling, and there are an awful lot of feelings to be felt and a roller coaster to be ridden.

You owe it to yourself not to be too hard on yourself.

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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago

Not all that North of North London

"I don't mind saying im the type who gets upset and is it because im selfish? Thinking of how loss will affect my life? I am world weary and tired of living to be honest"

It's not selfish!!

But if you feel like that, you need to find someone professional to support you

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Not selfish at all. It shows you cared, and that can never be wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP it's absolutely fine to feel upset and to cry.

I am sorry that you're going through a tough time but please don't bottle up your feelings, let it go with a cry...it's cathartic.

Sending you a caring hug.

Her x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let it all out now otherwise it becomes a lifelong depressive mode

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By *arksxMan
over a year ago

Leicester / London

"I don't mind saying im the type who gets upset and is it because im selfish? Thinking of how loss will affect my life? I am world weary and tired of living to be honest"

Are you referring to survivor guilt.

You mean whilst the emotional attention should be at the forefront of he person dying.

You also want emotional support as it is difficult to see a world without this person?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not selfish at all. As humans we are programmed to grieve, and the grieving process is hugely important, not least for your own mental health.

Grieve. Go for it. If you don't you'll worse off. Don't be afraid to reach out to the many wonderful organisations - such as bereavement uk - for specialist help and support.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cry scream do what u need to do ... you are human after all

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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

Don't ever bottle up your emotions, let them flow freely.

Sadly I am of an age when probably one in ten of my phone calls is telling me of the passing of a dear friend, what makes it worse is that because of the lockdown I have been unable to pay my last respects and in some cases that really hurts.

Just remember all the good times you have had.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it being selfish to get emotional?

Ive lost friends n family and loosing a friend now.. I don't think he has long to go.

Trying not to feel upset. "

Christ no

Deal with loss in your own way and every one deals with loss differently.

Stay safe

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I don't mind saying im the type who gets upset and is it because im selfish? Thinking of how loss will affect my life? I am world weary and tired of living to be honest

Are you referring to survivor guilt.

You mean whilst the emotional attention should be at the forefront of he person dying.

You also want emotional support as it is difficult to see a world without this person?"

Ive seen a lot in my life and judt hsve met a few who decent people who count and loosing them id hard. My life will be emptier.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the messages everyone.

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By *inxybWoman
over a year ago

Durham

The best thing to do is whatever feels right for you...everybody copes with their grief in different ways, whether that’s crying, shouting, screaming, hiding away or having that feeling of emptiness that no body else feels in the same way as you. It is that person/people and the relationship which you had with them which is significant, and from my experience I have found that talking about shared memories and special times with others, and keeping those in mind has helped immensely...take care during those challenging times ahead and remember it’s always good to talk, x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it being selfish to get emotional?

Ive lost friends n family and loosing a friend now.. I don't think he has long to go.

Trying not to feel upset. "

Let it all out

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By *arksxMan
over a year ago

Leicester / London

"I don't mind saying im the type who gets upset and is it because im selfish? Thinking of how loss will affect my life? I am world weary and tired of living to be honest

Are you referring to survivor guilt.

You mean whilst the emotional attention should be at the forefront of he person dying.

You also want emotional support as it is difficult to see a world without this person?

Ive seen a lot in my life and judt hsve met a few who decent people who count and loosing them id hard. My life will be emptier. "

Well that sounds very human to feel that way.

As others have said just let it all out...dont tey to determine what you should or should not feel or how others view YOUR emotions.

With all that said try to keep some perspective and dont let them rule all your decisions.

I hope you find some new friends that can help with that process of keeping you balanced.

Nothing lasts forever...its neither good nor bad. It's all part of the journey of being a humanBEING

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By *hegreyMan
over a year ago

Ripon

"Is it being selfish to get emotional?

Ive lost friends n family and loosing a friend now.. I don't think he has long to go.

Trying not to feel upset. "

Absolutely not I myself have lost a parent very recently and another family member and family friend with another funeral of colleague on the cards, its harder I find in current climate

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Everyone grieves in their own way.

It's fine to cry . It's not selfish to miss people or wonder how to redirect your life when they are gone.

It isn't selfish to not show emotion either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't mind saying im the type who gets upset and is it because im selfish? Thinking of how loss will affect my life? I am world weary and tired of living to be honest

Are you referring to survivor guilt.

You mean whilst the emotional attention should be at the forefront of he person dying.

You also want emotional support as it is difficult to see a world without this person?

Ive seen a lot in my life and judt hsve met a few who decent people who count and loosing them id hard. My life will be emptier. "

My best mate passed away over 15 years ago. I still gets chills down my back when the song from his funeral comes on the radio.

I still chat to him in the car as I'm driving along if something comes into my mind. Always give him a wave and a shout when I drive past where he was laid to rest. Your life is emptier without them but they are also always still with you.

Take care bud

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