FabSwingers.com forum: What do you

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

think about small talk. Love it or loathe it? A master if it or absolutely useless?

I hate it and tend to get bored after the initial hi, how are you? Probably because I'm no good at it and can't stand it when it gets to '.. and what do you do?'. I am not my job.

Thoughts and general mockery please.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do the Cha Cha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you do OP

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

I can't say I like it but I consider it to be a necessary evil so I get on with it when appropriate. Luke

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I get bored with small talk, but do enjoy getting into a conversation with someone before meeting. Think it gives a connection and a better understanding of a person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lip service -the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Horrible weather we're having eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I enjoy small talk but, I enjoy talking absolute rubbish at the best of times. If the people who I am talking to aren’t interested I end up looking an idiot.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If it doesn't quickly move on from small talk usually by someone saying and what do think about.. or do you like.. I tend to start just nodding and mmmhmmm-ing until I can get away.

I also tend to give monosyllabic (indication that I'm not that interested) answers to small talk. I know I'm not much of a conversationalist in RL unless you really know me or hit upon a subject which interests me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Horrible weather we're having eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fully paid up introvert so it is a massive effort that I find really difficult

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Fully paid up introvert so it is a massive effort that I find really difficult "

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

"If it doesn't quickly move on from small talk usually by someone saying and what do think about.. or do you like.. I tend to start just nodding and mmmhmmm-ing until I can get away.

Why don't you lead it away from small talk then?

Conversations are two way, and you shouldn't expect the person talking to you to lead all the time.

They may find it hard to have conversations too, but at least if they are having small talk with you, they are trying.

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

I say that because I find it hard to start conversations, and sometimes fall back on small talk to try pushing past the silences and find something to open up into a proper conversion.

However if the other person doesn't even respond to the small talk, there is not really anything that can be done, and the date will be ruined.

Basically, responding politely is always appreciated and it will make the date better for both parties.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If it doesn't quickly move on from small talk usually by someone saying and what do think about.. or do you like.. I tend to start just nodding and mmmhmmm-ing until I can get away.

Why don't you lead it away from small talk then?

Conversations are two way, and you shouldn't expect the person talking to you to lead all the time.

They may find it hard to have conversations too, but at least if they are having small talk with you, they are trying."

Because at that moment in time I can't always think of what to say. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. I can't continue a conversation for the sake of it if I'm not feeling a connection, energy, vibe or something.

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

I think if you're not feeling a vibe and can't be bothered opening up the conversation or replying politely, then it's not an issue with small talk and deeper conversations will not resolve that.

It sounds like it's just not there, and that is fine. It happens.

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

You have to put yourself in the other person's shoes as they may be feeling exactly the same as you... but they are trying and you are not.

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By *andybeachWoman
over a year ago

In the middle

I’m terrible at small talk

I’ll just leave it at that

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By *acey_RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Having attended kink socials for years I am totally out of the habit of asking that as lots of people are private about their jobs. However, with it not being the norm for me in conversation anymore, there are two aspects of this question that annoy me. People who clearly only ask as they want the question returned so they can peacock about their career or men who only ask all the other men and not the women.

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By *zoreanMan
over a year ago

Witney

Honestly I'm more of an action guy myself... But I can do some small talk. During world pandemic times you need to improve other skills hahahha

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's necessary. When you meet someone you need to start off with small talk before you can get in to the more interesting stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi. You ok?

I hate that one!

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I design stuff.

I like to make stuff too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi. You ok?

I hate that one!

I’ve always wondered what would people prefer other than that or variations there of as an opening gambit? Hating it is fair enough. But unless in a situation were I can make a piffy remark that is either really funny (in my head) or really terrible (everyone elses head and mine one I have said the words) I don’t have much else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You have to put yourself in the other person's shoes as they may be feeling exactly the same as you... but they are trying and you are not. "

I don't think I have ever had an actual date with a girl or chatted one up or even asked one out on a date or been asked out on a date.

It just happens. One minute we're chatting the next snogging, after that we're arranging to see each other again.

I have tended to have never really gone out there and looked for it. If it happens it happens if it doesn't it doesn't.

Probably why I like the forums because it is more likely to happen organically rather than forced ie through messaging, winking or whatever.

In other, non-romantic, situations I just don't engage if I'm not interested. I've done Ok over the years - that is how I am.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi. You ok?

I hate that one!

Hi, how you doing?

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